A Little Help For Men Trying To Understand Women!

reply to post by Greenize


no offense but i dont feel that this topic should be posted on ATS... is there some sort of conspiracy to women and thier feelings?

I see this as just saying women do all the work and that's why they have built up stress and want to be alone. I find the "women headache" is to get away from things. My mom does it, my grandma does it, my sister does it, my girlfriend does it, her mom does it. It's a tactic.

It's pretty much the same for guys. Hell, I cried pretty hard last night because of a situation I'm going through.

I sometimes need to be alone, away from my girlfriend.

Cuddling I understand though . I hate when I'm all ready to sleep, get in bed, and she's like "GRR WHERE'S MY CUDDLES?"

[edit on 21-8-2009 by Tom_Proctor]

reply to post by deadpool84

is there some sort of conspiracy to women and their feelings?

Look around you, look at divorce rates, and some of the reasons for wars, suicides, and crimes- there's always one of these things lurking in the shadows. Look at how 'sissified' Americans are becoming- how we're all supposed to bend to the will of woman- I could go on for hours.

I'd say there's a conspiracy, all right- and the males are the ones being conspired against!

Nope, no help. sorry.

Originally posted by manmaidslave
Nope, no help. sorry.

Your name and then the iconic reply turned me on somehow ^^

reply to post by TailoredVagabond


I was reading your post and thinking "Hmm, maybe a little over generalization and stereotypical but he seems to be sensitive and gets it"

Then you went and added this

Women are very good in pretending like they aren't insecure too (to men at least! A BIG difference with women. I know so many women who will say "of COURSE we're insecure!") - the simple truth is something many women don't (seem to) realise that they hold the sexual trump card in 95%+ instances. Guys are all too aware of this, even if some are deluded.

A guy can go out and think we can get lucky, a woman can go out knowing she WILL.

What is lucky about going out and spending the night with a stranger that you have no emotional attachment to when you had rather be with someone you care about?

Lucky is two people who care enough about each other to understand (or try to) when the other is having a problem.

Lucky is knowing that person will be there to help you through it and be there when it is over.

Lucky is knowing that person would never walk out hoping to make it better for him/herself by betraying the relationship for a cheap night with a stranger.

That would certainly make me insecure.

Originally posted by liveandlearn
reply to post by TailoredVagabond

 

I was reading your post and thinking "Hmm, maybe a little over generalization and stereotypical but he seems to be sensitive and gets it"

Then you went and added this

Women are very good in pretending like they aren't insecure too (to men at least! A BIG difference with women. I know so many women who will say "of COURSE we're insecure!") - the simple truth is something many women don't (seem to) realise that they hold the sexual trump card in 95%+ instances. Guys are all too aware of this, even if some are deluded.

A guy can go out and think we can get lucky, a woman can go out knowing she WILL.

What is lucky about going out and spending the night with a stranger that you have no emotional attachment to when you had rather be with someone you care about?

Lucky is two people who care enough about each other to understand (or try to) when the other is having a problem.

Lucky is knowing that person will be there to help you through it and be there when it is over.

Lucky is knowing that person would never walk out hoping to make it better for him/herself by betraying the relationship for a cheap night with a stranger.

That would certainly make me insecure.

He thinks a woman would be "lucky" if she got to spend the night with said stranger and no attachments because it is how HE sees it, in all his masculine envy

I might be a "male" but I share your sentiments...it gives me shivers when I think about it

reply to post by Greenize


been married to my wonderful wife 17years and i still dont understand some thing she does ? besides im the emotional one shes the emotional rock in our family !

A Little Help For Men Trying To Understand Women!

Hmmm, um, er, no amount of advice will help me. I am I, unfortunately for me and this poses many problems.

I get this crap from people how I'm supposed to talk to women. Those people telling me this just don't get it. First one must meet a woman and I go nowhere. I go buy food and I go out looking(futile effort but one must try) for a job.

I'm supposed to hit on someone while they are shopping for dinner?

Talk? Really? What a novel concept. I am able to talk, however, this is another futile effort. What does one talk about when they listen to music that no one knows about, reads books like The Creature From Jekyll Island and spends most of his tele time on ESPN?

Seriously, Spock's Beard, Dream Theater, Rush(the source of my new way cool avatar), why the FED is EVIL and OchoCinco's kicking abilities are not fodder for an interesting conversation. Interesting to a guy who is a sports fan, hangs out on ATS and listens to prog-rock, maybe, but not with the fairer sex.

On the odd occasion when I am out in public, I see no reason to strike up a conversation. I have never "fit in", I never will so why bother? It's not worth it, from my perspective.

I'm not whining, I am I and that is just the way it is. I can only change for me and not for someone else - trust me, I know this from experience - and since that won't happen, my situation won't change.

I do wonder what my life would have been like if I had been relatively normal. I can't imagine it, the corporate job(ugh!), the wife with 2.5 kids, picket fence and all that nonsense. I may not get laid but I don't hate my life, far from it. I have what is left of my mind and that is fine by me. Life in The Loony Bin ain't all that bad, it just takes some getting used to. It's not for everyone.

Not sure why I posted all this, but I did. I'm going to go read some quotes from Thomas Paine now. Such an exciting, thrill-packed life I lead LOL! I think I should probably get change for the $.02 I just threw in here.

I've been married a few times and take complete responsibility for my failures at being a husband. I was a drinkin, drugin, philandering hedonist that got married for motives that perhaps should not be discussed in polite company. But be that as it may, I have learned thru trial and error the secret of making women happy. Keepem laughing and treat them like you want to be treated. Dignity, respect and no lies, especially NO LIES.

I'm happy to report that currently all my ex's and I are like one big happy family. Don't ask, it's complicated.


I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's no mystery in understanding women; they are just like men, only different.


[edit on 21-8-2009 by whaaa]

I know some women are angels, and some are she-devils, but most women are a little of both

When she cries because she is sad, she is an angel.

When she cries because she can't get her own selfish way, she is the she-devil.


When she wants to be alone because she is sad, she is an angel.

When she wants to be alone when her man needs her, she is the she-devil.



When she is willing to accept constructive criticism, and give praise when it is needed, she is a saint.

When she walks on pins and needled and twists everything into a personal attack against her, while criticizing her man at every opportunity, she is the she-devil.


As the song goes, most men want a little bit of both.

There are plenty of women out there who enjoy one night stands and meaningless sex. People who claim otherwise are either extremely naive, or extremely dishonest.

Because women control the sex, and are no longer dependent upon men for survival, the balance has been thrown off.

What makes matters worse is family courts that refuse to recognize father's rights. This is what is tearing out society apart more than anything.

reply to post by Greenize


We tend to anyalze things more than men or is that just because I am a Pscyhology major.

I never put much merit in the men are from mars women are from venus sort of outlook.imo there is no mystery to men about women and vice versa.It's society and both sexes that have tried to create this false illusion hence both men and women try to fill that role when it's all nonsense to begin with.Talk and interact like you would with any other human being...not very hard.Guess it more exciting to think the male or the females psyche is a pandoras box of mystery.

[edit on 21-8-2009 by Solomons]

heres a little help for women trying to understand men
1. we dont care
2. see number 1

I see the biggest issue being, that we are all human each and every one of us is different. Trying to "peg" the sexes just confuses the issue. At least that is my thinking in the matter.

One of the biggest differences is physical strength, and some men will use that against women, to harm them and to feel superior. What these men forget, is that to use their physical strength against someone for control, actually makes them a "ninny" (being nice here).

Personally, I think the best way to try and understand either sex, is to get to know the person, get to know who they are, what they like and don't like etc as each person is an individual different than everyone else. Until we can realize this, we will have this "division" between the sexes and feel that we cannot understand each other.

And to the person that said "DON"T LIE" I agree 100%. That goes both ways.

Harm None
Peace

Originally posted by Greenize

2. Sometimes we just need to be alone. Again, do not take it personally. I for one work with the public. There are people in my face all day long. This is very energy draining. Some time alone does wonders for the psyche. After a long day at work I feel spread rather thin if you will...it doesn't mean we don't love you or enjoy your company. Its healing.

You're in the minority on that one, unless sometimes means 'once a year'.


Sometimes us guys need to be alone... meaning 'once a day'.

I'm a bit baffled by this "cuddle" thing.

Is this something you order on E-Bay, does it require assembly, or does it take any time?

The best advice I ever got was to take it real easy on the "favors" thing. You know, like picking up your own clothes off the floor, lowering the toilet seat, bringing her a cup of coffee, or washing her car.

You ever do it once - even ONCE - then it's expected.

Guys, you don't want to spoil them.

Then they wouldn't feel needed . . . (more or less)

Originally posted by deadpool84
reply to post by Greenize

 

no offense but i dont feel that this topic should be posted on ATS... is there some sort of conspiracy to women and thier feelings?

I feel the same way. It's disappointing when I am eagerly awaiting to see which threads are on the front page today, only to find "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".

reply to post by Greenize


oddly, I understand most women quite well, which is why some of these lists are amusing. Here is the guy response to them:

1. We you you all cry for very exact and specific reasons, just not ones we relate to. At the same time, we've had a number of women use it as a weapon or emotional blackmail. You'll have to pardon us if we're suspicious at times. Yes, we've heard you brag before to your friends about it. We play this one by ear.

2. We're the same way in general, or we'd rather hang out with 'teh guys'. Its not so much healing for us as decompression. Generally, our outlet for it is inhuman levels of stupidity, sometimes with some alcohol induced assistance.

3. If you have a headache on occasion, we understand, even though that never stopped us. In fact that was our cure many times. On the same token, if you have a headache for two weeks in a row, see a doctor.

4. While we will generally tolerate the occasional outburst, since we all get in bad moods, do remember that we generally work all day as well, are pressured constantly by society to produce, achieve and advance, are seen as workhorses who don't have space to complain and in general put ourselves through just as much hell on a daily basis, if not more at times due to the physical nature of many of our jobs. In a world of gender equality that you all so demanded, you can be as bitchy as you want, as long you you get us a beer on the way and don't take it out on us. This is a two way street.

5. Most of us are all for it as long as we can still watch TV or read our book or whatnot. That includes spidermonkeying onto us unless there's some tickling involved. While you may think it's cute to use us as a footrest or pillow, do at least give us the option and ability to rearrange ourselves and get comfortable again. We're also fixers by nature and not comforters. We have no problem helping. The secret code word is to grab us by the back of the head, lock eyes and say " the crap out of me. now". Hey, it works for us!!

6. Have to remember, even if you don't like your mom, ours was here before you, and she'll be there after you. Believe me, its something when we let you be around mom. Yes, its just as uncomfortable for us being around yours, especially after the horrible, degrading, and sometimes borderline illegal things we did do their daughter just a few hours ago in the bedroom. Oh lord I hope we got all the evidence out of your hair.