A Little Help For Men Trying To Understand Women!

when i was a young child, my dad said something that stuck with me through the years. he said, "son, *SNIP* is crazy." what a brilliant man.

*Mod Edit: Hold off on the swears. Cheers -alien

[edit on 23-8-2009 by alien]

reply to post by Phenomium

Yeah, it's easy to want to shrug off the truth

Your truth is not my truth.

Your truth of male-female dynamics is not my truth.

My brother once said to a angry man spekaing much like you are now :

"Feminism is not a dirty word. I thank god that my mother, my daughter, my sisters and wife live in a age after women achieved throwing of abuses and domination subjigating them for thousands of years. They did all this without firing guns. Men in revolutions have never behaved so well in order to gain their freedom, and it was men who took freedom from all because of fear."

You reflect that which you put out. The women you have had in your life you have attracted them. I dont view people so much as men/women as much as people, and watching power dynamics is always interesting, when you fear losing it, then you bleat loudly.

Originally posted by Misfit

Originally posted by Phenomium
It not only happened in my first marriage, but in every predecessive relationship I had.

So it is the fault of all women that your choice of women sucks?

First off, I have made just as many choices as any other man and after so many choices it becomes, not so much, a bad choice of mine (as I don't know the women before I meet them anyway) but...it becomes more of a statistic,... an overall pattern, if you will. Many poker hands are won by this same pattern recognition, and won consistently, which is why the greats keep returning to the table with millions and those who don't learn this truth fold fast and walk away broke. It is a tried and true method for prognosticating what will happen in your future by filtering the percentages of what has happened in the past. Women are women, whether I choose them wrong...or choose them right, I am in no way accountable for the behavior of even one of the women I chose. It is their behavior alone to own, nevertheless they represented the whole of woman-kind to me as per the percentages I delt with. I will have to say, I don't think that I made the wrong descisions. As I stated before, this is the best wakeup call that I could have had and because I learned from these "choices" I have been able to accurately predict behaviors and protect myself from further calculated attacks from women, thus controlling myself and not enabling them to control me using this seduction ace card that they innately have. It is because of the horrible things done to me in the name of seduction that I can now look past this abhorrent tool of control and see the woman for who she truly is. If she has nothing more than this seduction card, I will call her out quick. Although it is not the fault of ALL women, the pattern suggest that I had better keep a keen eye on all of them.
Now before you just go and assume that I am gay and hate women, as so many others do on here simply because it's easier than structuring educated input and a formidible opinion, let me assure you, I still am attracted to women and I still respect them, but only the ones who believe in true equality and don't shame themselves by using the sex card at every attempt to get what they want. I still love women, but I don't let them get away with their antics because I no longer have a love that is so strong or a compelling sense to relieve myself of self control because of seduction that I can no longer steer my own sails. "I can't control the wind.....but I can navigate my sails as I see fit". As I said, it's not all women, but it is a big enough majority that it is a problem for men to live a comfortable existence.

[edit on 22-8-2009 by Phenomium]

Suggested reading:

The Martyr Victim Complex Described

They are invariably unhappy and unfulfilled because they deny their own needs for the sake of others. They view life as a struggle, and themselves as a bastion of righteousness in an ungrateful world.

Originally posted by Phenomium
It is because of the horrible things done to me in the name of seduction
..... snip .......
Although it is not the fault of ALL women, the pattern suggest that I had better keep a keen eye on all of them.

It is not all women that use this card you speak of. Ergo, it's just wrong to be so against women in whole, as your posts have attested to.

With the second line, sounds like you are opening up a bit with what is really in you. Maybe you are not so anti-female after all. Maybe it is the male gusto still speaking out for you......... instead of you the person speaking.

Originally posted by schrodingers dog
As if ANYONE ever put a gun to his head and made him make the life choices he has made.

...some people like to pretend they're a victim... some do it for so long that they morph into believing they really are a victim... abusers are often that way... so are serial killers...

reply to post by Phenomium



Don't take this wrong, but you seem to have some anger issues. You can't blame the world, you can't blame all women because you had a bad experience or two. This thread was intended to be fun, it was written in jest...no two people on this planet think the same, feel the same, rationalize the same...whatever.... Men are just as complicated as women are. I know that my husband has needs, like time alone...he has moods swings and I know there are times that he doesn't feel well. We have over 24 years vested in our marriage. It is the hardest job that either of us have ever had... we work at it everyday... Love is give and take on the part of both parties and it takes both knowing that! I would never divorce him and take everything that he (we) has/have worked hard to aquire. That is why we work at keeping it together. Hostility solves nothing...




[edit on 22-8-2009 by Greenize]

Originally posted by Misfit

Originally posted by Phenomium
It is because of the horrible things done to me in the name of seduction
..... snip .......
Although it is not the fault of ALL women, the pattern suggest that I had better keep a keen eye on all of them.

It is not all women that use this card you speak of. Ergo, it's just wrong to be so against women in whole, as your posts have attested to.

With the second line, sounds like you are opening up a bit with what is really in you. Maybe you are not so anti-female after all. Maybe it is the male gusto still speaking out for you......... instead of you the person speaking.

This psychological attempt to dampen my opinion will not work on me female. The very reason this whole thread started was because of a woman generalizing men. The unseemly belief that men somehow are acheing to understand women. Most men I know, don't care to. The generalization lies in her 'thinking' that men really strive to understand women insomuch that she would actually fire us men up on a conspiracy theory website to deliver this unwanted message. As one woman stated before, there is a 'feelings' part for people to group hug in the BTS part of the forums. I am sorry, that you got the impression that I was opening up in the spirit of therapy in line 2, but I was merely pointing out a hierarchy of events that led me to believe the things I do concerning the motives of a vast majority of women, again....not all, and yes, you are correct, I am not anti-female. I am anti-female using leverage to seduce men out of their natural power. I am married to a good woman who doesn't do these things now, although she still tests me, I have been over what I do in the face of these tests already though. So there are good women out there, don't get me wrong, but the percentages are far worse now than it used to be, even in a past we can remember. Although, I have pointed out that there are good women out there......I still in no way digress from my initial arguments as to the leverage of seduction used against men to gain favor and power and the government helping them do it in the courts.This is indeed me, the person, speaking.

[edit on 22-8-2009 by Phenomium]

Originally posted by Phenomium

This psychological attempt to dampen my opinion will not work on me female.

And THERE in lies the sum of all your fallacies and misperceptions ...

Misfit is a male.

I will go as far to say not all women are the same, but the funny thing is, I have never run into the one I can see eye to eye with. Trivial issues always come into play and the romance always dies. Only maturity can resurect the relationship, which is not likely or almost non existent in the television education generation. Having a dispute can be fun with the female. My problem is finding the right one to argue with over stuff that doesnt matter for the rest of my life. It seems like it becomes a competition in this world of high divorce rate. We can either be on the cover of whipped magazine or win the arguement and split the change, which is what most of us have anyway. So I am taking a break from the debate now as the current girlfriend would rather perform character assasination upon me rather than tell me what is bothering her. Too much like my sister, what a disaster. Still fun in all the same.

Originally posted by Greenize
reply to post by Phenomium

 

Don't take this wrong, but you seem to have some anger issues. You can't blame the world, you can't blame all women because you had a bad experience or two. This thread was intended to be fun, it was written in jest...no two people on this planet think the same, feel the same, rationalize the same...whatever.... Men are just as complicated as women are. I know that my husband has needs, like time alone...he has moods swings and I know there are times that he doesn't feel well. We have over 24 years vested in our marriage. It is the hardest job that either of us have ever had... we work at it everyday... Love is give and take on the part of both parties and it takes both knowing that! I would never divorce him and take everything that he (we) has/have worked hard to aquire. That is why we work at keeping it together. Hostility solves nothing...




[edit on 22-8-2009 by Greenize]

I am angry this is happening to men, yes. What is fun for one may not be fun for another. Bullying is an example of this. The bullys' laugh and to them it is a big joke and rightly so, it is working for them and they are content. However, it is not so fun for the one being bullied. What is happening to men today is nothing more than political bullying using women as a battering ram. This all sounds like hostility, yet it is not. It is just unpleasant to both parties because one is being victimized by the government and the other is a beneficiary of the victimization and somehow is not even aware that they are benefitting or being used to subjugate men. Let me ask you something, who "wears the pants" in your elongated marriage? If you say your husband. That is very rare these days. If you say that you both have an equal partnership....you are lucky because that is even more rare, as rare as a diamond.I agree with you that, people are people and we are all different but statistics happen at the expense of people when ideologies are practiced in the name of an imbalanced paradigm. Saying that people are free, when they are not...is an example of this and saying there is equality in the world when one side is obviously benefitting greatly as opposed to the other. Top that off with saying that the one who is being benefitted (women) are actually the victims despite all of the evidence. That's really funny. I am having a great time knowing this. BTW, as stated above, I am not anti-female, I like women and I congratulate you on your success with your marriage. Go thank your husband and give yourself a pat on the back as well. You guys have done something that many are not able to do these days because of this imbalance covered with a lie. Good job.

[edit on 22-8-2009 by Phenomium]

reply to post by Greenize


The only thing I can say is Chicks are way, way, way, way, way to sensitive!

Originally posted by schrodingers dog

Originally posted by Phenomium

This psychological attempt to dampen my opinion will not work on me female.

And THERE in lies the sum of all your fallacies and misperceptions ...

Misfit is a male.

Misfit and misperceptions don't start with Mr. do they?

[edit on 22-8-2009 by Phenomium]

reply to post by Phenomium


I would have to be honest and say that my husband wears the pants...He is a very head strong man, but that is part of who he is. I am happy letting him wear the pants. I wouldn't like it if he allowed me to bully him. He doesn't press the point however because I wear the panties!
That was a joke!

Originally posted by Greenize
reply to post by Phenomium

 

I would have to be honest and say that my husband wears the pants...He is a very head strong man, but that is part of who he is. I am happy letting him wear the pants. I wouldn't like it if he allowed me to bully him. He doesn't press the point however because I wear the panties!

That was a joke!

You are one of the good ones then, you sound like my wife and your husband is lucky. I don't speak of you, I speak of those women who do want power at the expense of men.

[edit on 22-8-2009 by Phenomium]

reply to post by Greenize


lol that was funny...you understand well Padwan.

Personally why doesnt anyone need to wear pants though...its all about ego and power...Formula:make me laugh, dont boss me...ill make you laugh, and not boss you.
Be happy to sit in silnce with each other also.

Thats always been a safe formula for me


[edit on 22-8-2009 by zazzafrazz]

Ok guys here we go. You cannot understand women by trying to understand them. This is irresponsible behavior because the conclusion will never come. Try understanding yourself, this usually will keep a man calm in trivial arguement that wont matter the next day. Dont bottle up your disagreement because it will come out in anger. If the female is noticed hiding her feelings LOOK OUT. If this was not noticed before and did not marry her then you have my sympathy and a pat on the back. If you noticed the ticking time bomb and married her anyway then I dont feel sorry for you, I would spit in your eye just like the attorneys will at the attorney generals court. A good relationship enjoys good debate. If you get married thats all a man can expect and thats reality. Unfortunately, in todays I can find a better life just as quick as I can find a cheeseburger attitude, its probably better to get a prenumptual agreement. If she says its not love then believe it as love is the romance that starts the relationship and not the actual reality as the romance really dulls when you get years in. Then start dating again. Stay true to yourself and find the one who is'nt afraid of goodbye.

reply to post by Phenomium


I can understand some of the points that you have made in your posts. It does seem that men are raked over the coals at times. I do know of some men though that have won custody of their children and the ex-wife was the one left with nothing. It doesn't seem fair the way that the judicial systems treats men in cases of divorce. A friend of mines wife recently found someone else and told her husband she wanted a divorce and he had to borrow nearly 40 grand and give it to her. He raised her son as his own for 15 years, she worked 3 days a week at a small cafe here in town just for spending money while he worked and payed for the farm. Now he is at risk of losing it all because she decided to have an affair....its not fair!

I can see the point about losing it all over having an affair, it just not judicious. In reality we should all know better not to cheat on someone while in a realtionship, Duh, its the instant killer of all marriages. If people want to be a perve there is always the topless bar where single desperate losers go to get their tease. Over even worse if she was'nt really into you sticking it where it doesnt belong, perhaps thae gay bar could help out with that problem.

Originally posted by zazzafrazz
reply to post by Phenomium

 

Yeah, it's easy to want to shrug off the truth

Your truth is not my truth.

Your truth of male-female dynamics is not my truth.

My brother once said to a angry man spekaing much like you are now :

"Feminism is not a dirty word. I thank god that my mother, my daughter, my sisters and wife live in a age after women achieved throwing of abuses and domination subjigating them for thousands of years. They did all this without firing guns. Men in revolutions have never behaved so well in order to gain their freedom, and it was men who took freedom from all because of fear."

You reflect that which you put out. The women you have had in your life you have attracted them. I dont view people so much as men/women as much as people, and watching power dynamics is always interesting, when you fear losing it, then you bleat loudly.

WRONG! Truth is just truth.
There is no YOUR truth or MY truth. You are speaking of realities. There are points of view on realities (such as yours and mine), perceptions, if you will, but truth cannot be compromised as it is the sum of of irrefutable evidence. An evidence that has become damn near gospel as per my experience coupled with research and experience far outweighs even a book. As for me attracting bad women........I am but flesh and bone, I am a magnet of no kind. To say that I attract anything would be to say that the other person had no choice in dating me. A magnet tends to pull another body to itself against it's will. Mutual attraction brings those people (in theory) together because of an unspoken agreement of attraction involving both parties, but what you are suggesting is that I attracted bad females therefore it is MY fault how things turned out. I tell you this, if a women comes to me because of some unspoken attraction and she, herself, is not also attracted to me...then she is in the wrong and had self-serving agenda from the start. There is more to a choice and a relationship than that. Relationships are more dynamic than using a one-sided attraction model as an example. As stated before, I am made of flesh,......the same as anyone else and attract nothing more than someone else made from the same fabric. I don't have a super power that pulls in the right or wrong person. They come as they come, I don't have control over a woman's behavior, if she's a bad woman....that's, again, her fault.....not mine.

Oh yeah, your brother saying what he did to that guy about the F word......did he really have a choice? I mean it looks to me like he was surrounded by nothing but a hoarde of women all his life....what point of view do you think he was immersed in most of the time? That of a man....or 3 women plus however many sisters he had? Just asking. it just seems that you were so quick to point out all of his feminine influences.....you didn't mention the male influences...although, I'm sure you will now.

[edit on 23-8-2009 by Phenomium]