A Little Help For Men Trying To Understand Women!

reply to post by nenothtu


there's two types of people.
dominant and submissive. it's known sexually, but i find it to be far reaching. Whether it comes down to arguments or decisions, one person will usually win most of the time, and one will usually lose. The "winner" is usually the male but not always.
women's ideal man is usually both. dominant and submissive, depending on their mood, and that's the problem.
i am not a reader of minds!!!!

Originally posted by Spiramirabilis
reply to post by 27jd

 

They can turn that on and off at will, since they generally do not harbor high testosterone levels (of course there are exceptions), i envy that.

:-)

I want to be very careful - because I am NOT picking a fight

but - do you really believe this to be true?

I ask - because I think many men DO think this is true

I do.

Yes, I know, I should be careful in my choice of words. Those two have gotten many a person in trouble (including myself - more than once).

Perhaps a better choice is to say I am absolutely certain of it. Not a doubt in my mind. Based on years of observation, I am forced to the conclusion that the vast majority of women have absolute and total control over their libidos, and are not averse to using that fact to their advantage, or what they perceive to be their advantage.

Not all, no, not all. But the vast majority.

[edit on 2009/8/22 by nenothtu]

Originally posted by heyo

i am not a reader of minds!!!!

Amen, brother, amen! Preach it!

When I can find a woman who is willing to listen to what I think, rather than jump to conclusions and attempt to TELL ME what I think, and who furthermore is willing to explain herself to me, rather than attempting to force me into guessing games (which I just plain AIN'T gonna engage in), well, I might not mind having a chat with her.

'Til then, I'm gone fishing.

reply to post by nenothtu


well to be broad, i'd classify myself as the old school type guy. I don't say a lot, becuase i don't think much needs to be said for the most part. I don't tell other people what to do, period.

To sum it up, understand schroedinger's post, which i've already used on a date "I enjoy listening and being improved". lol. just tonight i used that bwahaha she thought it was funny but she also found some comfort in it, which to me was ridiculous. I saw the comfort in her body movements and change in posture right after i said it.
it's why i'm here this fine evening instead of, well.. ya know.

reply to post by Greenize


I don't know, I guess because most threads I read are from men. I assumed I guess. But my friend, I really would have been a great Hank, given the chance. I really have no positive reason actually for assumeing you were a man. I'm glad you are a woman. Come to think of it, I just assume every thread is from a man until I know differently. Ok people go ahead psychoanalize me if you want. Can I plead senile?? I'm a really really old lady, cute but old.

reply to post by Greenize


Give me strength!

Apart from the obvious physical differences, necessitated by the need to reproduce ourselves, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY ZERO difference between a man or a woman...OK one consonant and one vowel! But that's it..we are exactly the same.

It is ONLY societal conditioning and trends that separate us into having these perceived differences.

Human beings are human beings, whether they are classified according to their reproductive equipment of not.

We are the same.

What an annoying thread this has become , whine whine and mocking each other

And this can go to Women about Men aswell you know? Not every man is a sterotype.

reply to post by Greenize


I sort of agree with you, but not all women are alike. For instance number 1 I do cry but I also have a reason to cry, I don't cry just because. Also about number 5, I hate cuddling it does nothing for me, and it gets me all hot, an I live with a man, thank god, who hates to cuddle as well. I have never used the headache excuse to get out of sex, my husband knows when I have a headache and treats it as such. I have flat out told him I am not in the mood and he is respectful of that. The hormones thing right now is a blessing, trust me on that. My husband also repsects the fact that I love being alone, and he doesn't interfer with me being alone, as he enjoys being alone as well.

I do agree with you, but not on number 1 or number 5 sorry.

reply to post by nenothtu

I do.
Yes, I know, I should be careful in my choice of words. Those two have gotten many a person in trouble (including myself - more than once).

:-)

...Based on years of observation, I am forced to the conclusion that the vast majority of women have absolute and total control over their libidos...

do you think your libido is always on full display, for all the world to see - absolutely obvious to anyone paying attention?

or are there times when you're busy making your way through your day - doing what needs to get done - regardless of what your libido would rather be doing?

also - are you trying to say that you have no control whatsoever?

:-)

you're assuming women are completely different from you

I know we're different - but not completely different



[edit on 8/22/2009 by Spiramirabilis]

reply to post by Spiramirabilis


Naw, I don't seem to have a libido any more. It atrophied or something. S'ok, it was only a bother in dealing with the fairer sex anyhow, and gave 'em WAY too much ability to influence me.

Now I'm just old and impossible.

Oh, and as you can probably tell form my posts and generic bad attitude, mostly single. As has been posted above, 30 minute of begging ain't my idea of foreplay, so I'd rather just throw money at her so that I can be left alone to watch TV or something.

I never have been much for begging for much of anything, and that appears to be an endemic problem with me...

Before anyone gets the notion that I base "relationships" on sex, that simply isn't so, but neither am I gonna base companionship on who can make me beg for what, 'cause that just ain't gonna happen, and it tends to upset women that I won't, for some reason I can't even begin to fathom.

[edit on 2009/8/22 by nenothtu]

reply to post by calihan_12

i will let all you guys know what women really want. we want a guy with a good head on his shoulders. intelligent, charming, witty, carefree, fun, adventurous, romantic, and sensual. We also like men who can show their emotions and dont have that tough guy exterior at all times

Suuure you do. Some of us know a tad better than that, k?

Originally posted by wylekat
reply to post by calihan_12

i will let all you guys know what women really want. we want a guy with .......

Suuure you do. Some of us know a tad better than that, k?

Would you shut the hell up already !!! ATS is innundated with your mindless spewing of hatred against women. Everybody that has read so much as just one of your posts knows this already. Quit your damn incessant whining, and get on with your life. You never once have thought that it takes TWO to screw a relationship - no matter your part in that relationship, you were a part of it. If a woman screwed you over, you allowed it to happen. Either become celebate for the rest of your life, or start dating dudes. In either case, I am not the only one who is far past annoyed with your pissy little crying fits. You are just like that NewJersey gym murderer, all he did was cry about his failed relationships with women, never looking at himself as to HOW to make a change for the better. Go cry in your beer, go cry to your momma (or do you hate her too), just quit friggen crying here!!

[edit on 8/22/2009 by Misfit]

I believe that it is down to your personnel circumstances as a child
that shapes your thinking.
We are different sides of the same coin..but we ARE the same coin.

Understanding each other just takes listening..we all want love and
happiness..lets start there.

great thread..S&F.

Originally posted by Misfit

Originally posted by wylekat
reply to post by calihan_12

i will let all you guys know what women really want. we want a guy with .......

Suuure you do. Some of us know a tad better than that, k?

Would you shut the hell up already !!! ATS is innundated with your mindless spewing of hatred against women. Everybody that has read so much as just one of your posts knows this already. Quit your damn incessant whining, and get on with your life. You never once have thought that it takes TWO to screw a relationship - no matter your part in that relationship, you were a part of it. If a woman screwed you over, you allowed it to happen. Either become celebate for the rest of your life, or start dating dudes. In either case, I am not the only one who is far past annoyed with your pissy little crying fits. You are just like that NewJersey gym murderer, all he did was cry about his failed relationships with women, never looking at himself as to HOW to make a change for the better. Go cry in your beer, go cry to your momma (or do you hate her too), just quit friggen crying here!!

[edit on 8/22/2009 by Misfit]

wow, well said

this guy obviously doesnt know how to take advice. he may think he is all of the things i mentioned, but obviously he isnt.

good luck finding a girl to deal with you! and if you do, im sure she will not be stable.



[edit on 22-8-2009 by calihan_12]

Originally posted by calihan_12
wow, well said

I will say it's very rare for me to jump like that, but I get sick of incessant hating on women because a relationship consisting of a woman AND a man fails.

Beyond that was his remark in this or another thread that women need to be choked until they are blue. I'll say it now since it is too late for him to edit said post, that I did u2u both SkepticOverlord and Simon Grey about it. I felt bypassing forum mods was deemed pertitnant, since it was a direct statement inciting the harm of women.

Originally posted by injunfeller
women are simple, the ones that think they are complicated are usually just mentally scarred by various events in their life. probability of them being happy with any guy, perfect for them or not is pretty low. Conquer the demons within or you will live without...


love it, hate it, doesn't matter...your acquiesce is not a prerequisite of reality


guys, be a man, instead of the boy you were raised to be and act like, and the world as well as your luck with women will change for the better.

[edit on 21-8-2009 by injunfeller]

Yeah I know, I always hear women bragging about being complicated and being able to multitask, but what I have noticed is nothing more than women doing lot's of jobs at one time, replete with complaining constantly while doing them.........but never finishing the jobs.That is not multitasking,....that is biting off more than you can chew! I actually took it upon myself (because I had heard this bragging right so many times to the point where I got sick of it) to sit back and watch intently all women who claimed to have this mystical power and I have come to the conclusion that women cannot multitask as well as they claim. Any man who is not whipped in a marriage can tell you that. Of course, those men who come in defense of women to dispute what I have found to be blatant evidence....just to defend them....these are the whipped ones I speak of. Unfortunatley, this is what the world has been reduced to. Men becoming more effeminate and women becoming more man than man. Sad.

[edit on 22-8-2009 by Phenomium]

Originally posted by liveandlearn
reply to post by TailoredVagabond

 

I was reading your post and thinking "Hmm, maybe a little over generalization and stereotypical but he seems to be sensitive and gets it"

Then you went and added this

Women are very good in pretending like they aren't insecure too (to men at least! A BIG difference with women. I know so many women who will say "of COURSE we're insecure!") - the simple truth is something many women don't (seem to) realise that they hold the sexual trump card in 95%+ instances. Guys are all too aware of this, even if some are deluded.

A guy can go out and think we can get lucky, a woman can go out knowing she WILL.

What is lucky about going out and spending the night with a stranger that you have no emotional attachment to when you had rather be with someone you care about?

Lucky is two people who care enough about each other to understand (or try to) when the other is having a problem.

Lucky is knowing that person will be there to help you through it and be there when it is over.

Lucky is knowing that person would never walk out hoping to make it better for him/herself by betraying the relationship for a cheap night with a stranger.

That would certainly make me insecure.

Yeah, men have been forced to suppress that which has always been our trump card.... our strength, power and the threat of others having to physically pay for specific injustices towards us that warrant it. If you are thinking that I am inferring a trip to the woodshed for "crossing the line",......It is what history's men have always done to build empires and to keep them. Men have always used brute force mixed with intelligence in tandem to aquire power and build those empires....but since the 20's (a certain period of time that changed the views of all mankind and womankind) men have been forced by government to cast away one of our greatest "trump cards"....our force, and now lies the threat of women abusing us in every manner because we can't even defend ourselves from women without going to prison or getting sued or punished by divorce and losing our children in the custody battle or even false sexual harrassment charges,which most men lose even if they didn't do anything....just because a woman may want his position in the workforce or may just be upset with him for some reason or another. It is like telling us, you can exist but you can either have your arms or your legs, no longer can you have both to complete who you are. It is like a shark after having his teeth removed. Since the 20's they have removed our trump card, yet women are still able to use their trump card which is sexuality. It is not fair and yes,...this is a conspiracy against men. This topic I would welcome here, but make no mistake about it, if you speak out oppositionally against this and associate it with the women's lib movement gone mad with power, you will lose your account on here. I have friends that it happened to. Again, removing our right to even discuss the topic in depth without having to 'walk on eggshells'. At any rate, during this recession, I have already lost a job and would kill to be able to have an ace card that would assure that I could go get a job as a, uh hem....professional club dancer or a masseuse or even to be able to throw on some sexy, revealing gear that would assure that I could get a job. You know what though, I as a man have no magic tricks I can use to supplement my credentials. I have to be 100% legit and women do not. They get to use their trump card, that which gives them the "edge" and we men have been robbed of ours. Sorry, if you don't like it, but this is the truth and you all now it. There will be those that come on her and dispute what I have said by saying that I have 'war distress' or that i have just been n a bad relationship or any myriad of reasons as to why I believe this (the same water-down method as the skeptics use when they want to assure that someone is not taken seriously)....but I am not alone, this is happening to men all over the world and we are getting sick of it. I'll probably lose my account on here just for saying this much. Whatever.

[edit on 22-8-2009 by Phenomium]

Originally posted by wylekat
reply to post by 27jd

 

It's been more than one- And the main problem has always been "Dont be who you are, be someone ELSE." I am not, NOT going to go and rewire myself, and not act like myself, and not BE MYSELF so I can have me some. I have had women literally RUN from me, just because of how I LOOK. Or how much I do (or dont) make. not a thing is said about my personality, how loyal, honest, good, nice, smart, funny, creative, resourceful, NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY thing that would make me, ME. Just how do I look, where's the money.

This has happened nearly nonstop for 20 YEARS. All American women. All the same 'needs', all of them shallow.

A @)*#)(*&#($* manual, or how to guide to understand woman is NOT supposed to be needed! It's supposed to be love, it's supposed to be good reasons for attraction. Not this 'the view' or 'oprah' bull*cough*

I am finally glad to see that many more men are speaking out against these injustices against men and are not willing to take it anymore. Men are finally waking up. This is great.

Originally posted by liveandlearn
reply to post by calihan_12

 

Too bad more people don't realize that crying is such a stress reliever.

There are time I want to cry and hold back till I eventually do what ever it takes to get it out. Just a brief pity party with the crying and getting it all out, even though it is just me alone. Next day I am sooo much better.

Is this a woman secret? If so, too bad for the guys who feel the need to be macho. Then they may have another way to work out their sadness.

If being called "macho" is a derogatory word to describe a man that doesn't leak his feelings all over the floor and looking like an effeminate mess....then call me macho. I refuse to fall for this female trick to remove all the stingers from the powerful wasps that men once were. No woman anywhere is going to tell me what it takes to be a man.........they aren't men so how is it they know more than me what it takes to be a man? That's like someone from Harvard taking advice from a high school student.......what do they know?

[edit on 22-8-2009 by Phenomium]