reply to post by Greenize
Excellent post Greenize!
If I may.......
1. I don't think women cry for no reason. I think they cry for reasons that [most] men don't neccesarily understand. We have been socialized
to not cry, that it's a "sissy thang". I realize that things that resonate with m'Bride don't always resonate with me, but that doesn't mean
that I don't understand the cause and feeling. For example: Movies that touch me are usually about overcoming adversity, about reaching a
milestone. Those things don't always touch my Bride, but she understands.
She would never get teery-eyed at the scene where Cuba Gooding, Jr., playing Chief Carl Brashier in the film Men of Honor, walks the 12 steps wearing
a Navy Diver suit to be reaffirmed as a Navy Diver.
2. We need to be alone too. Some men chose to morph that alone time into time with their buds. No shame to it. I'm aware that when my darlin'
comes home from work, I sometimes assail her with information, and she just needs to chill, to wind down without having to process still more
information from me. I work alone most of the day, and I'm always, always glad when she gets home so we can talk about things. I give her space
and later, post-chill, we can talk. Sometimes I'm practically fibrilating with the desire to talk with her about stuff.
3. Understood. Be human. We love you that way, even though we don't always show it.
4. I can't imagine how that feels, I can only empathize. Most of us guys don't suffer nearly as well as you women do. Some of us are even
fairly whiney when we're in pain. We could be a lot more understanding, particularly when you're having pains and hormonal strangeness that we
don't relate to. Backing off is a given. Hiding the knives is an option.
5. What you're really talking about it intimacy, and it shouldn't be dependent or even related to sex. Intimacy will carry a couple through
times of no sex better than sex will carry a couple through times of little intimacy. It's something that we learn eventually. We like it too,
but don't always acknowledge it. Truth is, most of us are really cavemen. We love you, but our needs are, for the most part very simple. We
forget sometimes that yours are more complex.
6. Thank you for the effort. We know our mothers are a pain inne ass. We are bonded to them on a deep emotional level that we don't even
understand, so sometimes we flex back at you, because privately, we agree with you, we just don't want to.
That it my two cents on the subject. I hope it helps!
and a beautiful two cents it was too! Thank you much. I think as as a
species, we're eventually to get more connected, better with each other. My experience is that I didn't have a lot of encouragement to explore
emotional responses, and had to learn how I felt on my own. Where I live, it's considered bad form by my mates to express affection for my wife,
but that doesn't deter me. They put up with me. I can live with that.
Thanks for the space. Great thread!