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Swine flu infections are on the rise in Asia, particularly in India, Thailand, and Vietnam, according to the World Health Organization. But only Malaysia, where 2,252 cases and 38 deaths have been reported since May, has proposed a radical preventative solution: stop masturbating and having gay sex.
KUALA LUMPUR, Aug 9 (Bernama) -- Avoiding masturbation and homosexual activities are among preventive measures one could take against Influenza A (H1N1), according to an eminent practitioner of complimentary therapy.
Dr. V. M. Palaniappan said that such activities caused the body to develop friction heat which in turn, produced acid and made the body hyperacidised.
"Thus, the body becomes an easy target for H1N1 infection," he told Bernama, emphasising however, that normal sexual union between members of the opposite sex was absolutely safe.
The former associate professor of ecology at Universiti Malaya has authored several books on complementary therapy called, 'Ecological Healing System'.
Dr Palaniappan said his 33 years of research had shown that high acidity in the body resulted in loss of immunity, thus making people more susceptible to viral diseases like Influenza A (H1N1).
Hence, to prevent acidity, it was essential to consume alkaline food and drinks that could neutralise excess acid in the body.
But get this: "normal sexual union" is perfectly safe!
Originally posted by Republican08
...Or just this specific strain seeks out masturbators and gays... lol, i'm chuckling so hard.
Originally posted by weedwhacker
I forget, now. Am I supposed to be more alkaline, or acidic? Eat lots of yogurt, or avoid it?