My girlfriend's going to be a nude art model.

Pretty cut and dry...

I just got word that my girlfriend is going to be a nude model for an art class at my college. A bunch of guys (and girls) are going to be staring at and drawing my girlfriend naked a few days a week for the entire semester. Is it wrong of me to feel really uncomfortable about this? I really like her and care about her, but things have been pretty rocky lately...perhaps this is the final straw and I should just end it.

What do you all think? Would it bother you as well? Am I being stupid?

Whats the purpose of her doing this? For extra money,extra credit towards a grade,etc? I sense a little bit of insecurity on your part.It might be from the recent troubles but i can't really say.If you care for the girl then stand by her side.It's not like shes going to take the guys in the class home.

She's doing it as a part time job. She doesn't live in the state, just goes to school here, and she has some money saved up to live on, so she just wanted to work a couple days a week. It pays well, and it's actually a great situation for her. I'm happy that she was able to find this, but yes, I'm very uncomfortable with rooms full of people drawing my girlfriend naked for hours at a time. I think that's pretty normal.

You say she's doing it at your college.

I can see how that could be embarrassing - would she consider doing the same job but at a different college where people wouldn't know you?

Originally posted by Herman
Pretty cut and dry...

I just got word that my girlfriend is going to be a nude model for an art class at my college. A bunch of guys (and girls) are going to be staring at and drawing my girlfriend naked a few days a week for the entire semester. Is it wrong of me to feel really uncomfortable about this? I really like her and care about her, but things have been pretty rocky lately...perhaps this is the final straw and I should just end it.

What do you all think? Would it bother you as well? Am I being stupid?

I've been to art school... and drawing naked people is a normal part of the process. Haha. You know, I think you shouldn't worry about it.

But it's ok for you to feel a bit awkward. Have you tell her about this?- Communication is always the key-

I think that if you trust and love your girlfriend, her temporary job is not a justifying reason to end the relationship.

Good luck!

[edit on 10/8/09 by plutoxgirl]

reply to post by Herman


Heck, if it's a money thing, why not go right ahead and be a stripper and make the big bucks?

Perhaps it's a gateway situation ...

In all seriousness, this is a tough one. I have dated girls who were making money through nudity (dancers) but I knew that going in, plus I'm not the jealous/possessive type of person to begin with (not saying you are btw) ... I figure if she wants to be with someone else why should I stop her.

But, as you describe it, this is a little different. It is a fine line to walk between being earnestly upset and trying to "control" another persons life (or their interpretation of such control). After all if you are having problems now, imagine what it will be if you ever get the "I didn't do it because of you" effect.

I don't know what to tell you Herman, this is the kind of stuff that a) you guys have to talk through in a very honest way, and b) that only you know deep down what you can live with falls within your ability to respect yourself, your dignity (not pride), and be ok with the man in the mirror. There can never be any happiness if those things are compromised.

In parting, and in case it is appropriate to the situation, let me impart the greatest wisdom I've ever generated:

"I can be perfectly miserable without you!"

[edit on 10 Aug 2009 by schrodingers dog]

I was a fine arts major in school. I dated a girl I met while she was modeling nude for one of my drawing classes.
I don't remember if she had a boyfriend or not.

Pics or it didn't happen.

Originally posted by schrodingers dog
reply to post by Herman

 

Heck, if it's a money thing, why not go right ahead and be a stripper and make the big bucks?

Perhaps it's a gateway situation ...

Yeah, really haha. At least then she could be my shugga mamma.

But really, I understand that there is a huge difference between stripping and modeling for an art class. Obviously the poses aren't going to be erotic or anything like that, and she'll probably be standing side by side with some naked old person. Still, I guess basic caveman instinct says "Hey! A bunch of dudes are going to see your girlfriend naked. What are you gonna do about it?"

But, as you describe it, this is a little different. It is a fine line to walk between being earnestly upset and trying to "control" another persons life (or their interpretation of such control). After all if you are having problems now, imagine what it will be if you ever get the "I didn't do it because of you" effect.

Well, I've decided the best course of action is to either pretend that I'm ok with it, or breakup with her. She's already paranoid about being in a controlling relationship (I'm definitely not controlling, by the way.) so any attempt to "talk it over" will come across to her as me trying to control you. I guess I just really need to decide how ok with this I am.

Originally posted by badgerprints
I was a fine arts major in school. I dated a girl I met while she was modeling nude for one of my drawing classes.
I don't remember if she had a boyfriend or not.

Hah, that was about as clever as it was subtle. I know exactly what you're trying to do here, but you've misinterpreted the target. I'm not worried about her going home with someone from the class. If she cheats on me, I break up with her. End of story. I don't beat myself up over people doing idiotic things (Whether it be the unfaithful girlfriend or the stereotypical college douchebag that's trying to get into her pants...or lack thereof in this case.) The issue is a bunch of people staring at my naked girlfriend 2 or 3 times a week...not sure if I'm going to put up with it or not.

Modelling for artists to sketch is a far cry from dancing around a pole or something or posing for porn pics where she would be openly selling her sexuality. Nakedness does not immediately equal unfaithfulness or even sexual objectification.. you say you're not sure if you should "put up" with it.. put up with what? It sounds like you think she is doing something immoral?

I think perhaps you are not suited to eachother and have different sensibilities. If she is indeed comfortable with allowing artists to draw her naked and you are not then she might end up feeling you are imposing limits on her and treating her like a posession that only "you" are allowed to view.

[edit on 11-8-2009 by riley]

Originally posted by Herman

Originally posted by badgerprints
I was a fine arts major in school. I dated a girl I met while she was modeling nude for one of my drawing classes.
I don't remember if she had a boyfriend or not.

Hah, that was about as clever as it was subtle. I know exactly what you're trying to do here, but you've misinterpreted the target.

Uh, nope. Actually didn't. Just jabbing at you for being a bit ..... insecure.

I DID date a nude model from one of my art classes and I DON'T remember if she had a boyfriend ...BUT.... I dated her.

It's not that unusual. They've got to date somebody.

Originally posted by HermanThe issue is a bunch of people staring at my naked girlfriend 2 or 3 times a week...not sure if I'm going to put up with it or not.

That is the issue isn't it?

I guess it's different for you. My girl was modeling when I met her so I knew what I was getting into.
You have to make the decision after the fact. I can see your point there. If it helps you out any, it didn't bother me much after I got to know her.

My girl just saw modeling as a job for making extra cash. If yours keeps a professional separation between her and the class she'll be fine.

My girl wasn't a student at the school. She stayed separated from the students and didn't mingle at all. They only knew her by a fake first name and she came and went before and after the class breaks so she never interacted with the kids.

As far as the "College douchebags" trying to get into her pants remark, don't get too hopped up over it. Kids in college are all going to get a little nuts over a naked girl.

Just to set the record straight. I wasn't a douchebag nor was I trying to get into her pants. I'd never even spoken to her.
She asked the instructor to introduce us because she liked me.

You might also take into account that this was 20 years ago and modeling nude was considered much more scandalous back then.


I'd worry more about a girlfriend that works at a Hooters.











[edit on 11-8-2009 by badgerprints]

Originally posted by riley
I think perhaps you are not suited to eachother and have different sensibilities. If she is indeed comfortable with allowing artists to draw her naked and you are not then she might end up feeling you are imposing limits on her and treating her like a posession that only "you" are allowed to view.

[edit on 11-8-2009 by riley]

You are correct here, and that's kind of what I mean. I can't help it, so I have to accept it -- I am uncomfortable with my girlfriend standing naked in front of a classroom as her job. Maybe, like I said, it's my caveman instincts kicking in and it will seem frivolous later, but maybe not. And it's not just this one thing, either. There's a lot of other stuff going on behind the scenes that's making me consider ending the relationship. I've come to see that she doesn't value the relationship nearly as much as I do. You're also right in that she will end up feeling like I'm trying to control her, which is why talking to her about it is really out of the question unfortunately. Hell, she thinks I'm being controlling when I hold her heavy groceries for her in the store or say she shouldn't drive her car because the brakes are completely shot.

Originally posted by badgerprints

Originally posted by Herman

Originally posted by badgerprints
I was a fine arts major in school. I dated a girl I met while she was modeling nude for one of my drawing classes.
I don't remember if she had a boyfriend or not.

Hah, that was about as clever as it was subtle. I know exactly what you're trying to do here, but you've misinterpreted the target.

Uh, nope. Actually didn't. Just jabbing at you for being a bit ..... insecure.

I DID date a nude model from one of my art classes and I DON'T remember if she had a boyfriend ...BUT.... I dated her.

That's exactly what I meant. You were trying to push my buttons and play on me being 'insecure' about it.

I guess it's different for you. My girl was modeling when I met her so I knew what I was getting into.
You have to make the decision after the fact. I can see your point there. If it helps you out any, it didn't bother me much after I got to know her.

Yeah, it is a bit different when she just suddenly springs it on me. We didn't even discuss it. In fact, she hasn't even told me...I learned about it from a facebook status update, sadly enough. And yeah, it is a little more nerve wracking knowing that after getting done with the nude modeling, she's going to be walking the halls with the same students. But I would assume art majors would be used to this kind of thing and a little mature about it...a little...

Just to set the record straight. I wasn't a douchebag nor was I trying to get into her pants. I'd never even spoken to her.
She asked the instructor to introduce us because she liked me.

Well, to be honest I may have thought you were a bit of a douchebag due to the first comment, but it wasn't where my comment was directed, and I can see your point now. You weren't actively pursuing her because you found she looked good naked while drawing her.

Although, you don't seem to see a problem in dating a girl who already has a boyfriend. I do consider that kind of douchey, although I don't consider you a douchebag. Glad we straightened that out...











[edit on 11-8-2009 by badgerprints]

reply to post by Herman


I wouldn't worry, schrodingers dog strips down every taco Tuesday.

Just kidding...

Originally posted by Herman

That's exactly what I meant. You were trying to push my buttons and play on me being 'insecure' about it.

Yeah, that was mean. I shouldn't have done that. I'm actually a decent sort but sometimes the sarcasm just takes over.

You are obviously bothered about this so I apologize.

Originally posted by Herman


Although, you don't seem to see a problem in dating a girl who already has a boyfriend. I do consider that kind of douchey, although I don't consider you a douchebag. Glad we straightened that out...

Actually I do have a problem with that. I don't like the idea of trying to create a relationship with somebody who is already dating.
When I was twenty two I wasn't as worried about the distinction but I honestly can't say if she was in a relationship or not. She approached me so if she was it couldn't have been that solid and I didn't worry about it then.

I've been trying to remember if she was dating and to tell the truth I think she was broken up with her last boyfriend because of the modeling thing. She had been in a string of dates that were all jealous and/or unhappy because even though she modeled nude she wasn't a slut who threw it around to every guy. At least that's what I remember. I was comfortable with it so she stuck with me for quite a while.

What I really remember most was that we both liked to read and spent most of our time doing things together on the weekends. Beyond that, time has blurred everything.

I don't think your girl is making a great decision especially due to the fact that she will be socializing with the same people she models for. With the advent of camera phones and internet she may be in for more than she's expecting.

She could be utterly faithful and you might truly have nothing to worry about but that's really going to come down to her decisions and you can't change that.

I can say that I dated a nude model and never had a problem. It has the potential of working out but that's the best I can offer.

Good luck.



[edit on 11-8-2009 by badgerprints]

Originally posted by badgerprints

Originally posted by Herman

That's exactly what I meant. You were trying to push my buttons and play on me being 'insecure' about it.

Yeah, that was mean. I shouldn't have done that. I'm actually a decent sort but sometimes the sarcasm just takes over.

You are obviously bothered about this so I apologize.

No worries. To be completely candid, I've just encountered a lot of people recently (Both on the board and in real life) who consider themselves 'players' and take pride in the fact that they date women who already have boyfriends, almost as though it somehow puts them a step ahead or makes them more intelligent than people who stick to monogamous relationships. I mistook you for that type of person. I can be very judgmental sometimes, and sometimes it gets the best of me. My apologies for misjudging you.


I guess I'll just feel this thing out. I'm not too worried about people taking pictures or anything like that, as there will be an instructor who will hopefully be supervising the class. That, and it's not as if she's going to be doing erotic poses or anything. I go to a different campus at the same college, but I think it will be strange to know that she's walking around campus with the same people who just saw her standing naked in front of them...although there are a lot of people at the school, and she's not an art major so she most likely won't be seeing them much. Then again, this college does have a bad reputation as far as borderline date-rape situations are concerned. As far as cheating is concerned, I figure if she's gonna do it she's gonna do it. Having this job doesn't really increase the likelihood in my mind. I'm not exactly the most naturally trustworthy person, but I'm good at pretending. I guess I'll just act like it doesn't bother me much, and if it becomes too big a burden, I'll end it.

Thanks for the advise. It helps to break things down and mull them over like this.

[edit on 12-8-2009 by Herman]

Just think you may be the envy of the campus , if you can get over the jealousy. If your GF is comfortable in taking this job and you trust her just go woth thwe flow , good luck whatever you decide

Maybe you could join her one day, do a double nude pose or something. That way you'd have "walked a mile in her shoes" and may have a different perspective. It may well be that you're not compatable, but i don't think that the reason would be because she's comfortable being naked around people. But like you say, it's been rocky for a while. Maybe you 2 could do with a break, maybe you need to step it up a notch. But you're still at school/collage (sorry if that sounds patronising) and there's no need to get all serious with someone if you don't think it's going to last for what ever reason. Doesn't mean that you both can't have a little fun.

When all is said and done, I can understand why you're uncomfortalbe with this. But i see it is more of a problem that you can either get over, or not. If she's going to continue, and you're still going to be getting upset by this. Then maybe this relationship has run its course. If you can find it in yourself to be ok with it, then carry on.

Maybe get her to do some private posing for you, you could draw/photograph her and make it something pleasant for the both of you. She's sharing her artistic body, with you, and you're sharing your love of her artistic body, with her. (without lots of people gauking at you)

I dunno, just throwing a few ideas about.
Good luck, I hope you can resolve this amicably.

It wouldnt worry me but I'm not you

To be honest, from your posts I dont think your relationship isnt going too well- she didnt tell you what was going on, you had to read her FB update- that should tell you somethin'

*shrug* Its not like you're head over heels anyway- you said you 'really like' her, not love...it's maybe time to move on