It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.


Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.


(MSWC) Tragic as the Love that kills us

page: 1

log in


posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 01:40 AM
I am using the main characters from "The Adventures of Debris and the Evil Gothemon" to write this. It is to illustrate the darkest regions of the human mind which can be tragically beautiful.

The plague of Happiness found in deepest despair

Debris stared into the hollow earth where his father was to be buried. He had grown up in a town not so unlike those portrayed in horror movies. At least from the eyes of this young child who had tasted the bitter sting of sadness since he could remember.

He was only 4 when he watched his father suffer and finally pass from a terrible crime. Yet, he could remember it like it was yesterday. That poor man who was so kind and so loving towards his only child. He had been beaten almost to the brink of death with wooden mallet on Debris's 4th birthday. He was on his way home from the local store with the gift. Even in the childs most fragmented memories, he always remember how much he admired his father and remembered telling him that he was a hero. And on that 4th birthday, Debris's father had gotten him an action figure of a superhero. And it burned with Debris for the rest of his life.

Since that day, Debris had seen the world from the viewpoint of a welder looking through the welders mask. No matter how bright, a light was always too dim to be worth while. When he was 7, he watched his younger brother die in front of him the same day his best friend at the time was diagnosed with cancer. He died a year later.

Debris was walking to the store when he noticed a group of men were following him.
He paid attention to what they were doing and noticed one of them was holding a metallic object in his right hand. Debris was only 14 but he knew all too well how to defend himself in a bad situation. The men sped up and stopped him.

One of them said "Hey kid. We were just hangin out and noticed you walking to the store. Why don't you hand over your money before something bad happens". Debris looked at him puzzled as to why they would even threaten him. He had never been threatened by anyone before. And apparently another young girl had been watching the whole thing. She came up and said "There a problem guys"? "Yeah, we want BOTH of you guys' money". The girl looked Debris in the face as if signaling something and Debris understood.

Debris looked over at the guy holding the metallic object in his hand. He kicked the guys hand and ducked to avoid the punch he anticipated from the lead man. The girl pulled out a straight razor and cut the lead guys throat. He fell to the ground gurgling and dying. The others took off running. Debris watched the life drain from his face and said "If I cared for human life, you would have had my money". Him and the young girl started walking off.

She said "My name is Vapor by the way, I see you all the time. Whats your name"?
"Debris. Thanks for the assistance". "No problem" said Vapor. "Mind if I walk with you to the store?" "Not at all" said Debris.

They had got to talking about some pretty intimate stuff on the walk to and from the store. Debris ended up walking Vapor back to her house where she lived with her father. Her mother and older sister had been killed in a car wreck that left their brains splayed out all over the road. So she was no stranger to tragedy either. They say that opposites attract, almost Ironic how these two ended up meeting.

They live within their minds, a world that does not have a sun. A world where tragedy awaits their every turn.

One day when they were 17, Vapor came knocking on Debris's door and asked to talk to him. She told him that something very horrible had happened. Her house had caught fire for an unknown reason and everything burned to the ground, including her father. The authorities were still at the site of the fire and Vapor managed to escape and run to Debris's house. But it was not long until they found her. They asked Debris's mother if she could stay with them and she agreed.

The story cannot continue because their lives could not continue much longer. After Debris's mother died of cancer later that year, there was nothing left for them.

This town was cursed. All the black buildings. The sunless sky of monochromatic greys. The never ending cold. The stench of death coming from the over filled graveyard. And night after night of visions and dreams. Souless dreams. Dreams of dying, dreams of losing his only friend. And her dreams of losing her only friend.

"Vapor. I can never express the sadness that fills my heart when you are around" said Debris as he lifted the elegant Chalice of death to his face.

"And I, the same for you" said Vapor. As she too, lifted the second Chalice of death to her face.

Death was all they knew their entire lives. Everything from Debris's Hero of a father to the man that died on the street by Vapors straight edge razor, all the way up to Vapors fathers death and his mothers.

And into the fire, they didst turn their gazes. Unto this blazing light called eternity, they whisper deaths sacred name from their withering lips. This fire that burns, to cleanse the sorrow that can never be killed. Into the forever night, they weep for eachothers eternal embrace.

[edit on 10-8-2009 by Mr. Toodles]

[edit on 10-8-2009 by Mr. Toodles]

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 06:12 PM
Very surreal Mr. Toodles. I enjoy the relationship Debris and Vapor share in a strange way. I am wondering where this fits in with the mysterious subjects though. This is a very good story but maybe clarifying where it fits in will help. Maybe psychological? Star and flag my friend.

[edit on 10-8-2009 by jackflap]

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 06:17 PM
reply to post by jackflap

It is a story to outline the psychological stress that so many people go through during life. I believe psychology was one of the subjects

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 06:42 PM
Good story... it reminds me of ingmar bergman's "the seven seals"... it's a movie i think you would like. It is about death and has a surreal atmosphere. It also deals with the psychology of the appearance of death but from a slightly different perspective of the one you took.

I actaully enjoyed it so much that i wish it was longer and even more detailed. This is definetly a good outline.

[edit on 10-8-2009 by CosmicYahtzee]

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 07:13 PM
reply to post by Mr. Toodles

Ahh, gloom and doom. A story worthy of your avatar! lol.
Very creative, and I always admire the way you write. As you know.
Great submission. Good luck in the competition.

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 08:30 PM
That was an intense thrill ride!

Sure does make my story seem boring! You have a talent for bringing people in
you should take pride in that.

posted on Aug, 12 2009 @ 04:00 PM
Your story reminded me of a Shakespearean tragedy, two memorable characters trapped in circumstances that fill their young lives with death and misery. So sad, but we learn about human nature in the process.

Good luck with the contest!

posted on Aug, 21 2009 @ 12:32 AM
I am thinking I will write a continuation to the story. To take place before they do away with eachothers physical life. But it will not be part of the contest.

posted on Sep, 2 2009 @ 01:08 PM
A sad story but one that kept my attention. I often feel sorry for those who become intimate with death at such a young age, it tends to scar their lives in a tragic way. Still, it was a good entry, thanks for sharing it with us.

S & F for you and I hope you do well in the contest.

new topics

top topics


log in