You are aware of us.
We are aware of you.
I have a gift.
It's driving me crazy, not knowing what to do with it.
If I know things are coming, but I can't get anyone to listen, why do I know them then?
You are my last hope, before I give up on trying to figure it out.
From hence forth I will just chalk it up to coincidence.
This is your opportunity, come and find me.
I just want to know the truth.
No matter how hard it is.
I know it anyway, but can't wrap my human side around it.
I just want to know that I am not crazy.
I saw the incident, "you know the one".
I was talking about it at work, innocently enough, until I heard the news broadcast.
08-08-09,
2 birds plucked from the sky.
Silver bellied falcons.
You know what I mean.
I know you have been watching, and while I fear what you could do to me or have done, I know you are the only way I am going to get answers.
Why should you give me, "Joe Shmoe" answers? Because I know what to do with them.
I have never fit in here, and you know it.
Do you have plans for Sept, and Nov?
Is Orchid (9) just another dry run?
Keep the rail cars moving.
I want in and I can be a valuable asset.

1:11 am.
I am tired.
I need to rest.
This journal entry will be short.
It keeps on happening.
I find myself thinking of things. I don't know why.
At the time the thoughts are seemingly random.
Until at some point the coincidence starts.
At least 20 to 30 times a day, I will be thinking of something, and a relevant piece of information will come to light.
I saw a picture of a white owl, today at the corner store. It was on a cigar box behind the counter. The owl stuck in my head. I was thinking of it all day.
Later on I went to the movies with my wife, and saw a movie preview.
Damn it!! There was the white owl, right on the big screen.
I almost lost it, but I held it together and acted as if nothing ever happened, and tried to enjoy District 9.

Why?!?!?!
Dammit!!!!
Why!?!??!

That was today's most profound moment.
My wife is getting freaked, because I keep wandering around the house, picking up seemingly random objects and placing them on top of the microwave.
A while later, she will come asking if I saw something that she is looking for. It's on top of the microwave. I tell her I put it there.
She tries to play tricks on me, but the score is 15-0, my favor

I am getting sick of this.
I have to find my answers.
Maybe I'll post my journal entry and see if I get any hits.
What ever!!!

F&*K it!!

Orchid 9 keeps ringing in my head.
I keep repeating this phrase over and over, in my head.
If you exist, I know it.
Keep the lines moving.
I am the Visual Scratch Master, and I am losing my mind.
F*&k staying in the lines, I'll scratch my own on this piece of paper.
Can you see it then, I bet you can!!

Diary of a madman. I loved that book.
Maxx is going to the Outback now. I'll have to watch out for the crabbits, while I watch the airwhales fly by.
Maybe I should drop MR. Gone a letter.
Denizens unite.
Shining teeth, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood,!!!!

That was my favorite Ottoman you dropped from the window, dammit.

Swallowed up by the street sweeper, like Unicron, devouring a moon.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*~

I have no need for your remarks, Mr.

don't you think they this post was [edited on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]?
I wrote it did't I?
Shut up I said.
[edit on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]
I said shut up!!!
[edit on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]
Damn you are getting anooying!!
Ok just this last time and then knock it off ok?
[edit on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]
Fine, be that way.
Go F#@k yourself Mr. Edit Pants.
[edit on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
You mother *((^(%*$&^%#$^%$#%^$!!!!!!!!

[edit on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]
Stop it!!!!



[edit on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]
I give up!!!

[edit on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]

Been up now for 87 hours straight.
I am trying to induce an episode of vision. After I type this, I am going to bed and going to sleep for some time.
I know I said it was going to be a short entry, but that editor got me pissed.
Anyways, I am hallucinating now. I keep seeing things moving and bending. I feel drunk. I am not a boozer though.
Some times I feel as if i am floating.
No I ain't doing no contraband either.
So shut yo mouf!!!

Off to la la land.
Cy ya soon.


[edit on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]
Oh, It's you again.
Well good night. You can have the last word tonight.
Mr.edit, Good night!!

[edit on 8/16/2009 by reticledc]

Yawn....
7:07 am
Just woke up.
Can't recall any of my dreams.
I keep thinking about the state of mind I was in, before I went to sleep.
Yet again, I can't sleep more than a few hours.
Even though, I have been up for so long, I am just awake now.
I feel fine. I don't doubt that later on I will pass out on the couch, after I get home with my wife.
She can't understand how I can go for so long without sleep, and still function.
I don't blame her. I don't understand myself.
Whatever.....

so far, I have only had a few random, minor hallucinations.
Things bending, movement in my peripheral vision.

For some reason, I think that I am going about this in the wrong way.
Maybe I should stop trying to force it.
It always happened on it's own.
Most of the time, the most intense instances have been when I was talking or thinking about something, just as casually as can be.

I think, I'll do that.

I read some of what I wrote before, and I don't remember any of it.
It doesn't even seem like me.
I guess I don't know myself too well.
Ha!!

I have become aware of your influence.
After my little breakdown, I realized that you were trying to keep me from the truth.
The truth is that you are in control.
No longer.
I have opened the door to my minds eye, and slammed the door shut on your influence.
I know that I have a gift, and I no longer care about finding an answer from someone else, least of all you.
I am a free agent now, and I will answer my own questions now.
I now know I have been able to do so all along.
That is what scares you.
That is why you must try to control me.
NO MORE!!!

I am in control of my own destiny from now on.
I have found the KEY.
I remember everything.
Tomorrow is a new day, and you can embrace the coming change, or be condemned to fall by the wayside, as I show people what you don't want them to see.
To think that all this time I thought I was crazy.

Journal entry
8-27-09

I had the dream again.
This time I am remembering to write it down.
I was on the roof of a building.
As I look upwards, I feel a bit disoriented.
The next thing I know, I feel like I am falling, but I stay where I am . I look down only to discover that I am not on the roof anymore. I am over the street, 40 stories up.

I look up again, half expecting to fall. I see something in the sky, but the clouds are too thick.
I really want to see what's up there, so I reach out and as I do, I go up.
As I go up, it becomes apparent, that there is something enormous floating up there.
It looks like a chunk of a city block was ripped out and is floating in the sky.
There are all sorts of pipes and wires dangling about.
I can see several disk shapes, which glow a bright blue.
They are what is keeping this mass of material afloat.
I really want to explore it, so I fly up to the top of it and land on the flattest surface I can find.
Flying seems to be second nature now, and it no longer freaks me.

As I stand on this platform, I can see little things crawling all over the surface.
They look like little mechanical insects.
I pick one up, and it just flutters away.
The surface seems to be made of metal, but there are something like crystals growing out of it.
I am amazed to see the little insects crawling around cutting off little bits of this material with little blue lasers.
They pass the material off to a slightly larger insect, with many appendages, and purple lasers, and they fashion this crystal, into other insect parts.
Tiny little orbs of blue light float around during this process, and as the parts are completed, the electrify them and the self assemble into new insectiods.


I can see the world below, and it looks really cool from up here.
I decide to jump down. As I free fall, I look up and see the ship getting farther and farther away. I almost forget to look at the ground.
I land with a sudden crash, but I am OK.







[edit on 8/27/2009 by reticledc]

Well that was the dream. I woke up from that point.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


I have a mission today. It's to find the orchid 9 facility.
I have been there before, but I was enclose in a tube.
I guess they were afraid their little experiment would bite them.
If they never wanted the truth to come out, then why did they make me.
I was content to live my normal life. Not knowing the difference between the mailman and an agent.
I guess to condition a person fro what I have been through, it takes a little bit from that side of the truth to make a more effective agent.
I can't help but feel like I knew this was all going to happen.
All the times I embarrassed my teacher by proving them wrong, I guess I should have known that there was something different about me as compared to them. I know that I am no better, then anyone else, but somehow I see the big picture,
"the world that has been pulled over their eyes to blind them from the truth, that they are all slaves"
I may have been born into bondage, but that doesn't mean I cannot see it for what it is. Control.
They control us by limiting our choices.
They condition us, by telling us what they want us to hear.
And because we have limited choices, we think that we want to hear their answers, and that we are asking the right questions.
In reality, we don't even know that we don't know a damn thing.
We all think we have a good bead on thing.
They have the bead on us, or should I say, the reticle.
We are in their sights.
When the look at me however, through those sights, they will see that I have them in mine.

We believe so much that the lie is the truth, because it is so easy to believe.
Who would ever think that the lie was so grand, so enormous in it's structure, so long in setting up?
As I said before, our choices are limited, and they limit those possibilities from us by forcing us to live in the here and now.
Everyday, we go to work, and punch into our own little dictatorships.
We feel we are free, when we get home, but the days brain washing takes it's toll on us, both mentally and physically.
We never have a chance to escape, and when we do, the first place is to the TV or computer, where those worlds are filled with more media that induces our unconscious, at rest minds into a state of sleeping awareness.
Then we start the process all over aging, reinforcing the control system upon ourselves.
We become part of the institution that is known as society.
we are minute gears in a giant machine that can only be seen from orbit, and never be understood from the ground.
Why do you think they have satellites up there?
So they can watch the grand spectacle while they are safe in their penthouses.
The satellites are merely extensions of the watchtowers.
ever minute detail of our existance observed, every nuance recorded, and every reaction logged.
We have become nothing more than bytes in a multi tiered Zettabyte computational system.
A single byte can corrupt an entire system though. This is the power we have over the machines.

I keep trying to wake up from this dream I'm in, but I won't let myself.

Wake the F^