Sparring Between a U.S. Marine and a French Army Officer in Bosnia

A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia):

A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought
we (Americans) were a bunch
of cowboys and were going to provoke a war. He said if such a thing
happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France. I told
him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue
in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their
ingratitude and jealousy, was due to surface at some point in the near
future anyway. That is why France is a third-rate military power with a
socialist economy and a bunch of wimps for soldiers.

I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and
action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support
was only for show anyway. Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US
would shoulder 85% of the burden, as evidenced by the fact that the
French officer was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way
around.

He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would
like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and beat
his butt in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus
demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him
than the average Frenchman.

He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Mary Beth Johnson LtCol, USMC

a) That French was probably not even born when the WW1, WW2,... happened. He has nothing to show gratitude about. Besides, AFAIK, USA entered WW2, Vietnam and Cold War on its own interests, not on French interests.

b) French is one of major military powers.

c) That French could be a stupid coward, or could be not, but he is not representative of all Frenchs. But his points were almost proven when that USA military acted 'like the rude cowboy' he was compared with. That USA military, fortunately, isn't representative of all USA citizens either.

d) This thread has no sense. I don't see the point. I think this only proves that one army officer was retarded, and a LtCol was even dumber to the point to prove the assumptions of an already retarded guy.

[Edited on 2003-2-13 by MakodFilu]

That's weird, because I was talking to an American naval officer and an English Lieutenant and a Belgium UN legal secretary yesterday evening and we discussed star wars.

No really, we sat there and had a few beers and watched the empire strikes back and then we started talking about the movie, how like it was so cool when you first realised that darth was Lukes father, and the bit where you first see the AT-AT's coming through the snow on hoth, and how like, all of us had actually cried when Han got sunk into Carbonite when we first saw it.

Anyway, at about 11:00 we decided to play a bit of poker so I got my chips out and we sat round the card table talking about what we were planning for the weekend, I said I thought final destination sucked, the Belgium said it hadn't reached their country yet but they were going to see it anyway, then we all shouted at the American guy coz he put on some Alanis morrisette and we all agreed she sucked but not as much as that Laverne bint and the evening played out and you know what?

NO ONE SAID A FRIGGIN THING ABOUT THEIR COUNTRY BEING BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S COUNTRY AND NO ONE BROUGHT UP WORLD WAR SODDING TWO!!

[Edited on 13-2-2003 by Lupe_101]

y'know maybe I should clarify before somone etch-a-scetches that post for over use of caps.

ok.

You cann argue that America swooped in towards the end of the war and saved our pansy arses from the germans.
You can also argue that we were far from defeated when they turned up and, whilst we were gratefull they did, and it almost certainly shortened the war, we may well have won if they'd stayed home scoffing burgers and watching Chaplin films.
You can Also argue that theyy did absolutely nothing until they were attacked at which point it became personal and they decided to actually do somthing.

These are all valid points, what I have a problem with is that the only reason I can think of that one might bring them up when discussing recent events is that those who don't learn from the mistakes of the past are destined to repeat them.

ok. How about learning this.

Most conflagrations in the past have been caused by exactly the sort of bickering, point scoring, one upmanship and the whole "my countrys better than your country" or "your country owes my country this" mentality exemplified by the post at the start of this thread.

So france owes america, so america is doing somthing france doesn't like.

do we really want to increase the divides between both of these strong military powers or would it make more sense to tackle the present situation together and solidify the bonds between us.

The US is getting frustrated. It wants to bomb Iraq, and what france is doing is pissing it off, But do you really want to say "screw em then we'll do it ourselves" and risk causing rifts between all our countrys or would it maybe be better to ignore our petty differences, Be patient, take our time, and find a way for us all to work together for the betterment of man kind?

Maybe I'm an idealist.
so what.
better to go for the long term good than the half arsed quick fix.

Well this is going to ruin my joke but this must be said first (Joke after the end technically not my joke, got it off the TV)

Lupe, if it weren't for our liberty ships you'd be singing the "march of the luftwaffe" right now.

Germany almost came out with the first "True" submarine, which very well could have done that, but us, the USA kicked their Uboat butt, and ended the war before the Type 27 came out.

Now on to the joke: Barumdum dum dum dum!!!!

Author unknown---
"Of course the French aren't going to help us kick Saddam out of Iraq, they didn't help us kick the Germans out of France."

Sincerely,
no signature

"Lupe, if it weren't for our liberty ships you'd be singing the "march of the luftwaffe" right now. "

Not quite sure how you managed to defy the laws of physics, build a time machine, travel back to the war, persuade america not to get involved and then watch the rest of the war play out and Germanys eventual victory but maybe you should post the schematics in the science section.

Sure ~maybe~ we'd be singing Deutschland Deutschland Uber Alles.....or like, maybe, we'd have sorted things out diplomatically, decided we could all get along, sailed over to the US and tarmaced Texas to make way for a chain of fish and chip shops.

You have no idea what would have happened. no one does.
Frankly even an educated guess is nothing more than a wild stab in the dark.

Tell you what, heres a senario.
America came in at the end of the war and they were useless. Really utterly and totally useless, kept getting in the way, bombing the wrong targets and trippinjg over their shoe laces.

there you go.

thats my potted history. no sembelance of fact or reason but hell, it makes me feel good about myself so I'll believe that from now on?
that ok by you?

~shakes head~

This whole USA USA USA! vibe eminating from the US post Sep 11 is divisive.
its the main reason we haven't actually bombed Iraq yet, and, unless we all learn a little diplomacy and humility its going to bite all of us on the ass.

WW2 is over.
It has nothing to do with the present conflict except through various political butterfly effects accross the global power base.

get over it.

I also think it's lame to start about WWI or WWII. That has nothing to do with current situation. Now we have different peoples and very different situation. Don't forget many german scientists moved to US after the war. That says enough I hope.

I will start to talk about the native Americans ! Where are they today ? Remember who lived on American soil many years ago ?

Did Americans forget their ancestors were all from Europe and Africa ? If you want to talk about the past, then talk about everything, not only the "good" things you've done. And what irritates me the most is the fact that they forget the Canadians, they did a great job too. Amercia couldn't do it alone anyway. It was the allied force, and not only USA. Remember who made a great amount of money selling weapons in both World Wars ? And who's making lots of cash with selling weapons today ?

Please, you don't think that 12 years of diplomacy trying to solve the problem was enough???

Man, the French are really getting bitter about this WWII thing... France is entitled to her opinion...after all, Iraq is a good customer...nobody wants to tick off a good customer, and I applaud them and the other countries that still do business with Iraq, for stalling it this long...but time's up....*bbrrriinggg!!!*

It's a hoax ppl...

I just wanted to see your reactions...

Sorry...

www.snopes.com...

Originally posted by FreeMason

Lupe, if it weren't for our liberty ships you'd be singing the "march of the luftwaffe" right now.

I disagree. I would say it like this: If it weren't for Hitler's military and strategic stupidity you'd be singing the "march of the luftwaffe" right now. Fortunately he didn't listen to his military officials.

Well...since this joke fits in so well....

"How do you get a French soldier to surrender?"


*drum roll*


"Put him in uniform!" *clash symbol*

Sorry, just had to do it...

The bandit, why don't you try and pick up a history book.

Germany needed one of 2 things to win the war, OR at the least make a stand off.

The first thing was the Jet propelled air craft, which Hitler DID pospone long enough, that it really didn't come out until towards april of 45, but the tank destroyer jet, would have halted the entire Russian advance, as the jet was too fast to be taken out, and without propper tank support, the Russian advance would have been entirely halted by German Tigers (Of which they produced more in the year 1945 than through out the whole rest of the war).

The second thing, and what I mentioned, would have made Germany win the war, and Roosevelt was informed this during late '44, but we "America" bombed the hell out of the harbors that they were working on them. They were the Type-27 uboats! Never needing to surface, built like submarines today, the Type 27 could remain submerged through out its entire tour, targeting ships quietly as it had a SIGNIFICANTLY larger battery capacity and had a much longer snorkle which would allow it to recharge its batteries while submerged.

This would have halted ALL shipments of war material...anywhere...and NONE of the allies had ANY real way to counter one of these ships strategically.

The USA literally saved your wankers in WW2, not figuratively, not "helped" you'd all be slaves to Germany if it weren't for us.

Because I'll be damed if Britain could support itself much longer, hell they needed our aid in 1940 let alone '45! hah.

Originally posted by Lupe_101
America came in at the end of the war and they were useless. Really utterly and totally useless, kept getting in the way, bombing the wrong targets and trippinjg over their shoe laces.

Wow this coming from the nation which wouldn't fire upon the enemy unless they had VISUAL contact, so as not to damage french property (how would you ever have won the war without us? Every damn house was a cathedral to the Germans, sitting there taking pot shots at your lame behinds, while you stood there going "wut dat?")

Funny, that reminds me of another war where you had your A$ses handed to you on a silver platter, it was a war where you had 600 war ships, and 10,000+ regular troops and countless thousands of more troops...and the enemy had 4 ships (and still kicked your butt on sea) and a few thousand men, mostly farmers...geeze what war could that be?

And you expected to beat the Germans! Without Russia you'd have been pulverized...remember, you gained an empire by conquering spear throwing tribes men (Read "War of the Worlds") and even then most of those tribes men gave you hell, "Read about the war against the Zulus", if you ask me, most of Brittish history is built on a farse, and then on top of that, you lost your great empire, mostly due to people asking you to leave them alone.

You guys fell a long way from the time of King Edward Longshanks... *shakes head*.

Sincerely,
no signature

In response to your reference to the Type 27 Uboats, at the very end of the war, they were producing experimental boats using hydrogen peroxide engines, which rivaled even todays nuke subs. These boats could run submerged for months at a time, and had better speed than anything at the time (again, rivaling nuke subs), and didnt need to even snorkel to recharge batteries.

These were the boats that took many to Argentina, and allegedly to Antarctica.

Winsome post Lupe, who won the poker game? Something else I heard and I only remember the gist of it: Frenchman walks up to an American to discuss the Iraq debacle. The yank interrupts and says to the Frenchman "excuse me, do you speak German?" The Frenchman says, "No - I don't speak German." To that the yank says, "you're welcome." Enough jingoism - I need another beer.

I think Lupe_101 was merely emphasizing the fact we cannot tell how history would have altered. This is why 'alternate universes' are fiction and not science. I like the AU where America didn't join in, and King Arthur rose from slumber to defend Albion, and a Golden Age was ushered in...

You lost your great empire, mostly due to people asking you to leave them alone.

Funny, I've always regarded this as a positive thing. Returning lands that butchers like Longshanks stole. Accepting the in a world of equality, nations should not dictate to other nations simply because they have more power.
Course, Americans'd be in a bit of a fix if they had to return all the land their ancestors stole.

Originally posted by Gryphon
Americans'd be in a bit of a fix if they had to return all the land their ancestors stole.

LoL so would you gryphon.

Yeah, you know what, I think you should return Whales, and Scottland back to the native populations.

Oh yeah..and I think you should kick out anyone in your country with Anglo-Saxon blood, Viking blood, and Norman blood, or anyone with Roman blood, back to their respective places, afterall we don't want any of the invaders to hold on to their conquered territories.

Yeah...the Brittish are really the ones to be talking about "giving land back to the rightful owners" no britt in the world is the "rightful" owner of England, you are all mixed with FOREIGN BLOOD! HAH...

Pretty much the only people in your area that have native blood, are the Irish, and a few Scotts, and they need to swap lands because they basically traded off, Scotts invading from Ireland and such.

dragonridder I've never heard of the subs you speak of, I don't think they actually MADE them...have you a reference?

Sincerely,
no signature

You know, that's actually a good point though.

There are only ONE people left in the world, that truly can be said to have a country that they rightfully own...only one people...the Israelites!

Ever since they kicked out the Caanans from their lands, they've been there, and their blood is still pretty pure, as because you're a jew based on your mother, not on your father, who could be sleeping with most anyone and run off.

Only recently they've allowed conversions.

And they lived in the area of Caanan before the Caanans did, left for egypt more or less (wasn't like they actually had a nation in the area of Israel, but they lived there), when they got back, kicking out the caanites was more or less like cleaning out the rubbish in your house after having left for a long time.

Sincerely,
no signature

Freemason, I'm just telling you what I was taught in high school history class years ago.

And just read these...

Why the Allies won the war

www.bbc.co.uk...

Modern World History: Allied Victory

www.bbc.co.uk...

Hitler made very costly mistakes during the whole war, if he didn't make those mistakes, you in the U.S. would've probably be speaking German.
The allied forces were the U.S., Britain, Canada, & Russia... Not the U.S. alone.Without Russia it would've been much more difficult or near impossible for the other allies (including the U.S.) to defeat Germany.

[Edited on 14-2-2003 by TheBandit795]

Nice little article Bandit. I lurve WW II history. I've never believed one thing made the allies win (i.e., Hitler�s mistakes, etc).
So often it was 'radar' that won the war, or 'liberty ships,' (amazing how fast they were able to make those thing) and the Red Ball Express. Or the 'war was won at Bletchly Park.' All these (and the millions of dead Russians) played into the allies winning, in my opinion. I doubt Europe would be speaking German if the US didn�t enter the war � Russian would be more like it. With the US in the war � Germany may have been nuked if it went on any longer.


[Edited on 14-2-2003 by Bob88]

I'm just down the road from Bletchley park.
They're the only ones who don't seem to think they did anyhing particularly significant.

BTW does anyone have a link to the story of the bizarre theft of the enigma machine which ended up in some DJ's office?