I know too many dead people

As life goes on, the ranks of the dead people that you knew earlier -- friends, relatives, and others -- grows and grows. That's part of life.

When I was younger I lived a pretty wild life and lots of my friends had, shall we say, "unhealthy habits." Most of them are dead now. Actually, dead years ago; most of them never made it out of their 20s. But looking back its strange how sharp they stand in my mind. One of my best friends O.D.'d maybe 15 years ago and I still think about him constantly...it was a big blow to lose a close friend and effected me far more than I thought possible.

I feel their presences even though it has been years and years, I feel their ghosts hovering around me and their ranks swell...life is a sad affair.

reply to post by silent thunder


A flag for you...

I know what you mean. I feel your pain except I look at it as an honor to have known them instead of a loss. If they meant that much to me, that I would think of them years later it's because they usually taught me something.

I have also lost many friends and family. When I was in Jr. High and High School, I lost quite a few friends. I have also lost many close family members. Then you hear of some people that have never been through a loss like that at all. It very surprising and I wonder why this is for those of us that have gone through multiple losses?

reply to post by Starseed32


Good question...maybe raw coincidence. Or maybe its a matter of timing. Some go through this young, the rest get to wait awhile but eventually at some age (like old age) they have to go through the same thing. It sucks if it happens earlier in life though because you bear those wounds for a long time.

I'd be willing to bet many people who have lost multiple close friends/family come from a "difficult" background in terms of family, neighborhood, and/or both. Not to impugne anyone in this thread personally, of course...I'm just betting its true. I know my own family has a "bad" history, at least on one side. Or maybe this is true for most people anyway, I don't really know. Its all a big mystery; the older I grow the more corrupt people seem overall.