Oh boy. This is so deliciously naughty.
Now, no permanent disfigurement, or bloody noses, right? We're supposed to be above all that.
Some of them I can't say, cuz they'll pick me up.
10. Oprah Winfrey. She just needs the rich smacked right out of her. I don't WANT to read your stupid books. I don't want to see your stupid
magazine and you know what? HMPH. Never mind. I think you're really just Montel Williams in drag.
9. Shepard Smith That Fox news bastard. He is so incredibly annoying. he always has people on his show so he can prove how much better he is than
8. Mrs. Gross, (really her name) my third grade teacher. When she yelled at me, (she was 80 then) her jowls would quiver uncontrollably. She paddled
me for not doing my homework. POW! Who's the big guy NOW, biotch?!
6. 4th Ex-wife
5. 2nd Ex-wife
4. 3rd Ex-wife
(What's WRONG with women these days?) They ALL apparently had some SERIOUS ISSUES.
3. The Sham Wow guy. You have to admit it, he is just an obnoxious, tweaker. Dude, step away from the controlled substances and slow the HELL down.
It's a freakin' cloth. You soak up SPILLS with it..and what the HELL is that damn earpiece thing you wear? And why do you wear it on your picture on
the BOX??? Do you need to HEAR something on the box?? GRRRRR. Smack. (OK, we need a bigger list to include ANYONE that wears one of them dorky damn
ear pieces (not hearing aids, those are cool.))
Ok, well apparently, not only does he sell highly absorbent wonder cloths, he's also pretty good at smacking prostitutes.
2. Santa Clause - he never EVER brought me what I really wanted. Underwear? Who the hell needs so much underwear? Ok, well, I did have a problem that
required extra underwear on occasion but STILL! Smack.
(don't worry baby, number uno ain't you...not ready for ex-wife number five)
1. This is a very tough one...so much smackin to dole out, so many in need....
The Grinch. It was tough, but yeah, the Grinch. he STOLE CHRISTMAS. I mean, yeah, he gave it back and everything, but I don't think he adequately
paid his debt to society. He crept in while everyone was sleeping and took EVERYTHING. Do you remember the pain that the little WHO girl went
I don't think he should have been allowed back into the town. he should have been put on some x-mas offender list or something. No going within a
thousand feet of any WHOs. He was also very mean to his dog. We let that Vick guy off with a couple years for fighting dogs and the Grinch made his
dog, his very SMALL dog, pull that sled full of Christmas that he stole.
Yup. definitely the Grinch. I'm getting angrier and angrier the more I think about it.