posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:39 PM
Deafening. The hum of the fridge. The television that hasn't had a viewer in two days. The clock with a second hand that can't make it past the nine
without falling back down to try it again. The phone, ready to ring, nothing standing in it's way. Ready to take the call, add to the noise or take
away from it. Ah, some friends, well one. Crickets can be friends, right?
Been told about my rage before. He was nicer when he said it though. Anger. Not a bad word. Doesn't seem so negative. Damn old man. If she was here,
she would distract me. It's her job after all. That's what she's made for.
You seemed so smug, you prick. Have you ever been hated by a stranger? Wonder what it feels like? Oh to have my finger on the button. You probably
wouldn't lose a wink. The sight of you makes me ill. oh wait, that's a mirror.
Have you ever thought that maybe you should have been aborted? I have. Would it make my life easier if you weren't around? The main problem, there
would be another just like you, maybe even worse.
Why aren't you here to make my noodles? I hope you're having fun where you're at.
What's with the incessant prodding? You can't fix me. Why do you even try?
How much more do you think you can take? You know the only time I'm happy, is when I'm angry. So, come home and make me angry, so that I can be
You have to have a spot to jump off, or there's no stopping it. Why do you always insist on getting in front of my anger? You know I'm going to take
it all out on you.
Because you chose to be hear with me.
I told you. I warned you. You told me that you loved me anyway, no matter what. Welcome to no matter what.
You were sitting there on the stairs when the old man was pissed off about the trash. Why did you have to open your mouth about the other stuff too?
That'll be another ass whoopin I'm sure. You were such a bitch. I was surprised when I saw you cry. I thought that ability had long since dried up.
I know it wasn't your fault and the old man was piece of work. You did the best you could.
Funny how the best I could do is always so much better than the best you could do.
If I don't get it out, It's going to kill me. I want to live. I miss you, in a weird way.