What If the Apostles Ate Jesus - Would He Still Have Resurrected?

The Bible Says:

Luke 22:19:
19 And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he brake it, and gave to them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.

So what if the Apostles had misunderstood Jesus and thought that he literally meant for them to eat him right at that moment. So say they picked the carcass clean, would he still have resurrected, and if so, would he have came back as a skeleton?

reply to post by grapesofraft


And what if Jesus was in fact a purple dinosaur with saurkraut for hair? You get where I am going with this?

reply to post by Watcher-In-The-Shadows


Well then they could have at least eaten his hair and not had to go for the body. Did they even have Saurkraut back in Jesus' day?

What if Jesus actually ate his apostles in order to keep them quiet that he was a fraud, ohh and because he was really hungry? What if, after eating them he wasn't quite full so then he went on an eating rampage and ate the entire town?

I think he would have resurrected with a body free of any mutilations to be honest, rematerialized from a higher plane of being. Now, what you say makes me wonder. Most people's regular ego inhibitions would consider it blasphemy for it to be literal like that but you know what, it really makes the most sense. No wonder they follow Rush Lindbaugh.

reply to post by grapesofraft


Please don't take this the wrong way as I honestly mean no disrespect but both questions *yours and mine* are nonsense questions. Mine did go higher on the nonsense scale admittingly.

[edit on 5-8-2009 by Watcher-In-The-Shadows]

Not to be rude, but are you serious?

To keep it simple....I do not think that the manner in which He died would have changed anything.....

reply to post by Jesus H Christ


Well that would have certainly shortened the New Testament. I guess Jesus would have had to written it himself. I guess that applies to you, so JESUS H CHRIST, I ask you why didnt you eat your apostles.

reply to post by EnlightenUp


Well we know from the account of Thomas that Jesus had holes in his hands where he was nailed to the cross, so I guess that meant his wounds were still there after the resurrection. But say they ate his brain, then how would he have found his way out of hell in three days?

reply to post by Greenize


Well I think it might have changed things since he still had nail holes after the resurrection it could mean that he would have came back as a skeleton, maybe with a little flesh left that they were too full to eat.

Plus it would have screwed up the whole dying on a cross thing He had going. The whole Bible would change as it would have ended at the Last Supper.

reply to post by grapesofraft


Then the question is do you believe consciousness is simply a by product of a peice of meat known as the brain or do you believe in a soul.

MMmmmm...

Sacre-licious!

Originally posted by grapesofraft
reply to post by EnlightenUp

 

Well we know from the account of Thomas that Jesus had holes in his hands where he was nailed to the cross, so I guess that meant his wounds were still there after the resurrection. But say they ate his brain, then how would he have found his way out of hell in three days?

I guess. I mean, he could drop into our vibrational realm in any manner he pleases. That's just par for the course of ascended beings. But, noone needs a brain in heaven. God does all the thinkin' there.

As far as getting out of hell goes, the exit is to your right. It's not really a problem. I'd say three days means he liked it. That must mean 3000 years.

[edit on 8/5/2009 by EnlightenUp]

reply to post by Watcher-In-The-Shadows


That is a very good question. I suppose I believe in a soul. So are you sayiing that His soul would have had the body awareness to help him march through hell for 3 days.

reply to post by EnlightenUp

I guess. I mean, he could drop into our vibrational realm in any manner he pleases. That's just par for the course of ascended beings. But, noone needs a brain in heaven. God does all the thinkin' there.

So if you dont need a brain in Heaven do you think you would need a brain in hell or you would be ok to go around after the apostles ate your brain?

reply to post by grapesofraft


I am saying the wrapper isn't important. And if it was true he was ressurected I would imagine the damage would have been spontanously healed.

reply to post by Watcher-In-The-Shadows


Hmmm but what about when He did resurrect He still had holes from being nailed up to the cross? So if He was going to be healed before the resurrection wouldnt He have had the holes healed?

Just imagine how the Bible would be different if a resurrected skeleton Jesus was running around talking to people. He would have scared the living hell out of everyone.

Originally posted by Evasius
MMmmmm...

Sacre-licious!

heh heh heh.
Good one

The representative of God I met a few years ago would laugh at this too, I think.

Originally posted by grapesofraft
So if you dont need a brain in Heaven do you think you would need a brain in hell or you would be ok to go around after the apostles ate your brain?

You're replying before I got a chance to complete the editing of my post. I can't rewrite the scriptures that quickly. It takes a great deal of wine, redaction and editorial skills that I'm just not quite up to snuff on.

I'm sure his ability to ambulate must have been in tact or Satan just got sick of him. He'd be a manifestation of his trancendent mental state anyway.

reply to post by grapesofraft


I am not a Biblical scholar, but I would think that the holes still in His hands was a sort of "proof" to the apostles that it was truly Jesus, back again, in the flesh.... just my 2 cents.....