posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 08:53 AM
I write this from the public library, a 40 minute walk from the homeless shelter where I now reside with my children. Not a victim of the recession,
but of playing the hand of a full house, and being beaten out by a royal flush. I speak metaphorically.I did everything I could to resist being here,
but in the end the weight of the world pressed down too hard. Failure at a certain task is easy to overcome,failure at life is the worst obstacle.
It's not truly a bad place.The staff is kind and caring and they focus not on why you came to be here, but how to help you move forward.
A very kind soul named Emily has been the glue to hold my shattered spirit together. Listening to me without judgement and letting me cry when the
emotion is too much to contain.I always thought I would be the one to help homeless people, never the flip side.
Too many events in my life have made me numb and mistrustful. Now I rely on the kindness of strangers and I have to let pride fall by the wayside.
This is so very difficult for me.
You never know when life will throw you a curve ball and you will end up like this.
I try to stay positive, especially around my kids. They need to see me smile. They need to know that things will be OK.
I save my tears for when they are asleep.
My kids miss home, the one they knew for many years, and sometimes their emotions spill over, and it breaks my heart.
Forward from here is to find a safe place, no easy task..
Consider this my journal, and MODS move where you see fit...
I have hit the bottom with no where to go but up, and ATS has been a constant for me, and right now I need the stability.
I'll update when I can...