Originally posted by mysticalzoe
Originally posted by spellbound
reply to post by lardo5150
Why not try talking and reasoning?
If kids had a bit more interaction with parents, they could probably be quite reasonable.
The problem is that parents cut themselves off from their kids, and then become the big bosses, along with teachers - the Enemy!
I agree with you, we talk to our kids daily, i like to know how they are doing, what they want to do and I appreciate their opinions. I've only spanked my son once, for breaking a glass on purpose, he was 2. After that we didn't have many incidents with him, we've had to take things away from him, which is how I currently discipline. Same with my two girls, they are aged 6 and 8 and I feel even if I were to spank they are too old. The taking away of video games, the computer, toys and friends has worked wonders. I know many parents who discipline this way along with being sent to their room, and they rarely have any outbursts.
I would suggest either people look into 1*2*3 Magic or positive parenting. I was also spanked with a belt, but then again I was also pushed down the stairs, kicked, hit, and a few times my Dad grabbed me and threw me quit a few times. He had anger issues. I do not do any of those things to my children. My 6 year old has never been spanked in her life, but she has had many time outs and sent to her room. It's something to think about.
Do I think the Government should pass anti-spanking laws, oh hell no!! I do not want them controlling my lives or anyone else's. Just because I don't spank doesn't mean there should be a law against it. Well that is jut my 2 cents.
Spell and others who are not into spanking....
How do you reason with a 3yr old? Or how about the 9 year old the poster was talking about she saw in the store smacking the grandmother because she would not buy a pair of pants?
This is an honest question (and trust me, not an attack, I am actually interested), how do you reason with someone who does not understand reasoning?
Someone mentioned above that you should start out with the minimum amount of punishment until you find what works. It goes with what I have been saying, your form of punishment depends on the you AND your child, how you both react to it. Reasoning may work for this person, but it may not be working for this parent and their child.
From my posts you will see I believe in spanking and a smack. I will be in NO WAY (Ayla gets here in November
) an abuser. I know the line.You cant spank when they are to young.
You cant spank when they are to old (take away their social life like grounding at that point)
The ONLY time I would smack the mouth would be if the kid was doing something like that 9yr old did to her grandmother in that store. Even then, it would be light, NOT closed fist, but enough to sting and let them know I am the parent.
Someone mentioned they thought the soap in the mouth was child abuse, as well as the hot sauce thing, I disagree. If my kid has a potty mouth, they will get the soap. I said the F word ONCE when I was like 7. I got the soap. I NEVER cussed in front of family again (only around my friends, LOL)
Of course you dont use the corporal punishment for every single thing. Mix it up, throw in the timeouts, etc., see what works.
You cant spank an 14yr old. My father learned that. It think it may have been before that, but I remember the last time my dad spanked me, I just looked at him like "what are you doing?". He then realized at that point I was to old, so he changed his tactics. I then got the social life taken away, like be grounded, no phone, NO CAR!!.....that punishment was by far worse than any spanking, smacking, or soap I received as a kid.
My mother and father ALWAYS sat me down after and explained to me what I did wrong. They would always tell me they loved me, I always received positive reinforcement from them after ANY type of punishement I got. I wll do the same with Ayla.
Listen, if reasoning works, thats what I will use. But like the poster a few back said, if that does not work, I will try something else and keep working from there until I can find something that works.
But I would really like to know how do you reason with a 3yr old or a child that is totally out of control like that girl and her grandmother. What do you do in that situation?
