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We are voting about whether it is OK to smack your kids

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posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:04 AM
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reply to post by notsoobvious
 


I disagree. That child has rights.

How come everyone says "What a difficult child" instead of "What a diffiicult mother"???

How do we know that he is the difficult one, rather than her?




posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:06 AM
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Strikes should become a LAST option. Try EVERYTHING else first. Please. This is my idea.

Reward/no reward, terrible telling-off and understanding that next time will be worse, soap/chores/bleach in an open cut (
kidding)...


If the kid (Not child of 1-3 years of age) has been told repeatedly, and I mean repeatedly, NOT to do something, and they do it anyway out of malice or anger to YOU the parent, smack them.

Smack them silly. I would. Without a question. Hell, my father would make me stand for hours in the same place. With my hand on the wall. he knew how to punish me, and at that point, I would rather be hit than forced to stand so still for hours on end.

Hit your children. They'll learn. While they're young and can be guided... you MUST be tough on them. Smack them silly, so they know what they did was wrong and not to do it again. I wont hesitate to strike my child if it works.

You know why? Because if you do not take a stand as the parent of your child and teach them respect of that title, the child will be taught (subconcisiously) that he/she can do what they want. "No.Honey, I dont want you doing drugs." .... Now... without discipline as a younger kid, the teenager rebels without thought of consequence.

I say roast the little bastard as fast as you can. You have to be tough on your kids.


(EDIT: Its called LOVE!)

[edit on 5-8-2009 by ~ATS~]



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:06 AM
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Originally posted by spellbound
reply to post by heyo
 


No, they are only words.

I will never forget that soap thing.

It was intrusive and abusive.


You didn't learn the lesson then. I got soap in the mouth once, liquid and had to swish it around like it was mouthwash for 30 seconds.

I didn't use those words around my parents ever again.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:08 AM
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reply to post by spellbound
 


because he doesnt get disiplined she tries to give him whatever he wants and she is awarded with a mouthy abusive kid.you heard right! HE abuses HER and it is because they both know that she could get into trouble for spanking him.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:09 AM
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reply to post by spellbound
 


well hey you're free to think however you want, obviously. What we have is a vote on something, the definition of which people can't even agree on.
I mean no offense but i think if soap in the mouth affected you so much then you may be hypersensitive. To let that ruin a relationship with your mom seems a bit..petty.
It is your right to feel however you want and i'm not saying i'm better than you or anything it is just not the type of outlook i agree with is all.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:10 AM
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reply to post by eNumbra
 


Yes, I learnt it, and it cut me to my soul.

I thought I made that clear.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:11 AM
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Well, like others have said it's a slippery slope. But, I will use one posters example of poking the dogs eyes, how about squeezing the cat,how about hitting other kids? Sometimes a pop on the butt gets the point across if only to show how demeaning it was when they did it.
In the example the other post said about in Wal Mart, well I have done this and it works, the kids are disorderly and not listening, ok we are leaving, cart full of school clothes, and supplies, left right in the aisle. Even groceries, left right there(except cold things which I will go put back). They will learn when they have no school supplies clothes or food to eat, gets the point across real well!!!! I take the second trip alone and they might not even get the stuff they wanted, or they may get less(Clothes, etc) than I would have gotten them. This worked beautifully for my kids when they were small. But yeah the punishment should fit, if they are in danger of being hurt, hit, if they degraded another by hitting them another pop on the butt, if it's just disorderly conduct other equal means, ie taking away things, or counting them out of decisions, silent treatment always worked too and making them do minial chores also works.

edit to add:
I found that the bar of soap thing degrading also. My sitter used to use that,I had a foul mouth as a kid, I never did use it though, I felt that was abusive, however if a foul word came out of my children's mouth, hot pepper sauce(Lousiana style) would do wonders and the sting never lasted that long, hot enough to get the point across, edible, so no worry about poisoning(as with soap), and was very effective. However, now my son loves hot spicy foods too!!!lol


[edit on 5-8-2009 by ldyserenity]



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:11 AM
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i think whoever said about smacking less later hits it on the head... i didn't get that many wahcks later in childhood, if any... my dad never smacked me that i can remember, and it's a lot easier to reason with an older kid... i can frighten the hell out of my 4.5 yr old with my voice and my eyes, till the poor lad is trembling and crying which i think does him more damage than a whack around the legs... my 2 yr old just takes the piss out of me when i try it with him and i have to try real hard not to laugh



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:12 AM
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reply to post by ~ATS~
 


your standing in the same spot for hours is a good one...on a side note, i wonder if the parents willing to put that time into teaching a lesson are as commonplace as they used to be.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:13 AM
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Look at the youth in the US. 25 years ago kids weren't killing kids, kids weren't beating up their parents, kids weren't shooting up schools, kids weren't disrespectful to their parents, kids weren't little aholes period.

Kids learned how to respect others, kids were taught how to work for what they wanted, kids were taught how to grow up right and take advantage of opportunities, kids weren't strung out on drugs, and kids learned that there ARE consiquences to the desicions you make. Kids also learned that you sleep in the bed YOU made, and didn't expect to be bailed out everytime.

Why did all the above things work so well years ago? Cause parents were parents, NOT trying to be friends. You got your butt whooped, face smacked, grounded, lost toys, lost cars, actually got punished. When the tide of social screw ups turned and we went to this countdown, timeout crap...we now have what?

Kids killing kids, school shooting, kids killing parents, suing parents, drug use, no respect, nothing....we have a youth that was let to run wild. Best part...the people who don't believe kids should get smacked/disiplined are the one asking why, how, what has happened to todays youth!

So yes, kids shouls get a crack on the behind, yes kids should get a smack across the mouth when they cock off or call their parents names, etc....the major problem today is...are these new breed of parents (aka, the timeout bunch) capable of doing what our parents did without abusing? Our parents knew the difference......



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:13 AM
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Originally posted by spellbound
reply to post by eNumbra
 

I thought I made that clear.

Clearly you didn't; because there seems to be no end to people on this forum who were never affected by such "abusive" tactics in the way you were.

You were punished, and yes, most kids are resentful of punishment; but how long has it been? How long have you had to reflect on those events and it still "cuts you to your soul"?



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:18 AM
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reply to post by eNumbra
 


At least I have a soul, and I was honest saying that, only to have you mock - OK, over and out.

PS Beat the crap out of your kids - they will love you for it.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:22 AM
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Originally posted by spellbound
reply to post by eNumbra
 


At least I have a soul, and I was honest saying that, only to have you mock - OK, over and out.

PS Beat the crap out of your kids - they will love you for it.

1: I wasn't mocking you.
2: Claiming I don't have a soul doesn't add anything to your arguments
3: It's pretty clear you have a hypersensitive personality so I'll refrain from posting any further. I wouldn't want you to think I was mocking you.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:23 AM
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Originally posted by spellbound


PS Beat the crap out of your kids - they will love you for it.


saying beat the crap out of your kids is your way of being


I DO love my parents for smackin my behind when I did stupid stuff...I am GLAD my parents didn't coddle me, didn't let me do whatever I wanted...they kept me on the right path..and if I became defiant..they nipped that in the bud however they had to.....

I LOVE my parents/family for raising me the way they did...and I would NEVER take it back....when I was 12 I called my grandmother a bitch to her face and got a bloody nose for it....I DESERVED IT...and guess what...I learned something that day...lol..and it wasn't to hate her for teaching me a lesson.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:25 AM
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reply to post by eNumbra
 


im thinking spell bound isnt that old. altough i could be wrong.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:25 AM
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reply to post by spellbound
 


Got to ask again...what did those words do to your mother? A bit self centered of you to not try to envision her side of it...



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:30 AM
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Originally posted by spellbound
reply to post by lardo5150
 


Every child has a right to live on this earth without being persecuted or punished.


Whoa. No one wants to persecute children. And if they are being abused then the parent (or whoever it is) should be dealt with to the furthest extent the law allows.
That said -
Am I to understand that you think a child should NOT be punished? I'm sure you meant not by corporal punishment ... Right? Because, personally, I think the reason today's kids seem to lack respect, are getting into trouble more frequently and do not understand cause and affect (there are consequences to behaving badly) is the direct result when there is a lack of disciplinary action by their guardian.
I don't mean indiscriminate, random, or violent reaction. The punishment should fit the act. And the child should first get an explanation why that action is being taken, and, if they agree to not take that path again, these consequences will not be necessary in the future.
I was physically punished in my youth. Never closed fist and never in the face. We had a paddle (till I hid it – lol). Then Dad used his belt as an alternative. Mom used big wooden spoons, and plastic spoons, and the rolling pin (just kidding).
I agree that many, many children fall victim to abuse by the very people who are suppose to protect them. The truth is, most of those abusive parents are single people or are not blood related (i.e. the step parent or the live in boy/girl friend.) Counseling is not usually sought prior to abuse, only after. Given the rise in reported abuse and the risk it poses to kids, you’d think there would be some mandatory class or counseling the single parent should attend … if for anything else but to enlighten them on the statistics of abuse and understanding how recognize the indicators … in others as well as themselves. In Arizona Family Court it is mandatory to attend counseling sessions before a divorce is decreed if there are children less than 18 yrs old involved. A smart thing, I think.
But to make a blanket law in an effort to protect kids by making ANY type of physical punishment illegal is going in the wrong direction.
The law that should be passed is one where the penalty for the ABUSIVE punishment is so great that the first offense (depending on the severity) has a huge fine attached (to be forwarded to the social services for counseling and child welfare) and weekends in jail for a year (only if there is a chance of keeping the family together). If the family cannot reconcile, then give them 5 or 10 years in jail.
If you truly want what is best for a kid, allow for disciplining bad behavior. Otherwise you are condemning that child to the discipline of the judicial and penal system in adulthood.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:31 AM
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reply to post by seagull
 


Here I am, back again for more punishment.

What did those words do to my mother?

They challenged her total dictactorship, that is what they did.

This episode cut my heart, and it challenged her rulership.

So who was hurt more?



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:43 AM
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reply to post by spellbound
 


Yeah. OK.

More punishment? From whom? For someone so seemingly concerned about the feelings of others, you certainly seem to be able to shut those off when it suits you...

I'm going to guess that you've never even attempted to understand your mothers side of the story... Naah, she's just a dictatorial tyrant...



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:49 AM
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reply to post by seagull
 


Wow, come in fighting!

I am only trying to discuss something here, and I am tired of being attacked.



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