It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

We are voting about whether it is OK to smack your kids

page: 2
4
<< 1    3  4  5 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:35 AM
link   
i got smacked and i smack my kids, my sister doesn't smack hers but she lives in 'right on' australia and reads loads of 'how to be a parent' books... there's not a massive difference between our kids... mine are a little more self confident and a lot more cheeky... but both sets are nice happy smily kids...

personally, the way i see it, what are you gonna do with a 18 month old kid who's trying to put their fingers in a plug socket? or poking your dog in the eye? or biting some friend's baby on the face? reason with it?

if we go down the route of you can't smack your kids because of child abuse, we'll soon be at you can't take a bath with your kids because of kiddy fiddlers...

of course you don't own your kid but certainly no other #er does and certainly no one can do a better job of raising my kid than me




posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:37 AM
link   
reply to post by seagull
 


True, but these laws are not made for the conscious parent, they are being made as a blanket for the abusers. But I think you know that already.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:38 AM
link   
reply to post by heyo
 


I believe that no-one has the right to abuse anyone.

Correct me if I am wrong.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:43 AM
link   

Originally posted by antar
reply to post by seagull
 


True, but these laws are not made for the conscious parent, they are being made as a blanket for the abusers. But I think you know that already.


I get what you are saying, and i agree 100%.

We have to trust (HAHAHA) our politicians to word the laws so that they dont infringe (is that the right word) on a parents ability to discipline they want. So for example, they make a law saying you cant hit your kid. Ok, but can it be clarified to say spanking is ok?

Here is a good one. Anyone ever get the soap in the mouth? I did. How would this be labeled?

Antar is right, these laws are geared towards the parents who cross that line. But how do you make this law so that if I spank my kid in walmart (see previous post about example) I dont get thrown in jail and lose custody of my child?



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:44 AM
link   
reply to post by antar
 


Of course I know that.

However, all countries already have laws on the books concerning abuse, children or other... Why add another?

You don't change a social ill by legislating against it. Society has to want to change.

Read the story of King Canute and the tide for an allegorical explanation of it.


CX

posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:45 AM
link   
I have to ask you spellbound, if you don't mind, do you have kids yourself?

Once in a blue moon i've had to give my kids a snack on the backside or legs, but it's rare.

I'm lucky enough to have kids that are respectful enough to listen when i ask them top stop doing something, but i know that is not always the case.

This is such a tough call. I see parents down my local school who adopt the no smacking option, and thier kids run riot and think nothing of hurting another kid.

I was smacked as a kid, but it was round the head or with a wooden spoon....or worse, a bit of plastic toy car track which left marks for days. I vowed that whilst ensuring my kids were brought up respectfull and disciplined, i would never hit them with any object.

Yes i know people will then ask why i have given them a slap on the odd occasion, but it will probably be someone without kids who asks that.

I can count on one hand the amount of times i've had to slap my kids. Every time i've felt crap after it too. It's usualy been for the more extreme incidents of them knocking hell out of each other.

There are other ways of dealing with kids that do not involve physical intervention, and i use many of these to great effect. This does involve a lot of patience though and a good deal of communication skills. Not everyone is lucky to have these.

This i feel is where the parents slip up. They don't know how to deal with thier kids in any other way than hitting. Theres also a difference between a correctional slap on the backside once in a blue moon, and a daily beating or worse.

So as for voting whether to or not, i would say i'd vote yes, however the parents need to know that this does not mean you knock seven bails of crap out of them every day.

I would like to add, this does not mean i do not agree in some parts with your views spellbound, kids are indeed very precious and many parents don't realise what they've got until they've either lost them.

CX.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:46 AM
link   
reply to post by lardo5150
 



ah yes the walmart scenario.

I remember the scenario.

Me: "waah waah chocolate bar waah waah gi jo"
mom/dad: "you're getting a spanking when we get home"
me:......(suddenly quiet and full of foreboding, on my best behavior so as to by some chance, redeem myself and avoid the dreaded spank.)

but yeah as you get older, i found that chores were a major one as well. I would move piles of dirt and stacks of firewood only to move it back again.
.....how demeaning!
other times i'd have to do chores for neighbours.....i guess probably in the city with the untrustworthiness that's bred into our psyche, that's not really an option, but it was a lesson within a lesson kinda.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:46 AM
link   
I agree with the poster who says it's a slippery slope.

Saying that, my parents didn't hesitate a smack on the bum when I was young and out of line. It usually came after numerous warnings to cut out what I was doing. They never beat me though. As I got older and spanking wasn't appropriate anymore, I started to get grounded and lose privileges. Being smacked when I deserved it hasn't hurt me.

I'm of the opinion that the government shouldn't be able to decide or allow voters to decide how people should raise and discipline their children. I don't think that people should have the right to beat the snot out of their children, but sometimes a smack on the bum will get the point across in some cases. JMO.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:50 AM
link   
reply to post by lardo5150
 


OMG! I got the soap in the mouth for calling my mother a bloody buggar!

And, guess what - I still resent that. And it took a lot away from our relationship.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:51 AM
link   

Originally posted by spellbound
reply to post by heyo
 


I believe that no-one has the right to abuse anyone.

Correct me if I am wrong.


ok so you're defining all physical punishment as abuse tho. that's what i disagree with. If somehow they're voting on whether or not abuse is ok that would be a ridiculous question.
In my opinion discipline in the form of the physical has many good uses and is not abuse.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:52 AM
link   
reply to post by spellbound
 



maybe calling her a bloody buggar is what took away from the relationship.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:52 AM
link   
No, I don't think it's ok to hit children. I mean, think about that question. is it ok to hit children? Of course it bloody isn't!!
They're kids, and if you as an adult, can't control them at a young age, then you're showing your own immaturity, and that shouldn't be taken out on children. Also, if you teach someone at a young age, that hitting people makes them do what you want, what kind of a lesson do you think that teaches them for life?

I could ramble on, I really could. As i think that's it's so wrong, and a complete show of weakness/patheticness from an adult point of view, that it leaves me bashing my head over the table just thinking about it.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:53 AM
link   
reply to post by CX
 


Oh yeah,

I had the most difficult kid invented since the year dot.

He was intelligent, fell in with the wrong lot, and sent me mental.


He is quite nice now LOL.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:54 AM
link   
reply to post by heyo
 


No, they are only words.

I will never forget that soap thing.

It was intrusive and abusive.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:55 AM
link   
people and governments talking about this makes things worse also. for an example my nephew hears about people getting into trouble for hitting there kids. so the next time his mother went to spank him for doing something wrong(and if there was ever a kid in need of disiplin it would be him)anyway he would threaten HER saying he would call the cops on her.kids hear everything going on around them.this matter should be kept personal and quiet because(some) kids today will do anything to get out of punishment.luckily i have a very sensitive child in which a raise in your voice and a serious tone does the job.BUT there are kids out there(like my nephew)that need a good spanking but dont get it for fear of him telling a teacher or authority person.so the child gets away with things he/she should be punished for.this has become too public of an issue.child rearing should stay at home in the house not talked about publicly.it just making it worse for they are giving the kids ammunition to threaten there parents.if a kid needs a smack he/she should get it.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:55 AM
link   
Disclaimer: I'm a theist but not of the Abrahamic faiths. I have minor biblical scholar and scriptural skills. Also I am not a scientific/legal or medical expert in any field. Beware of my Contagious Memes! & watch out that you don't get cut on my Occams razor.All of this is my personal conjecture and should not be considered the absolute or most definitive state of things as they really are. Use this information at your own risk! I accept no liability if your ideology comes crashing down around you with accompanying consequences!

Explanation: I'm all for the monsterous stick mentality as long as it heavilly tempered with a big enough carrot incentive that would generally attract even the most stubborn spitefull brats to conform to the dictated ideaology! If they reject this very generous offer then they have only themselves to blame. Parenthood is not a democracy its a benevolent dictatorship and don't ever forget that both sides of that equation need to be fully addressed for full efficiency to occur. Keep them entertained with enough cake and circuses and they won't rebel! But keep the stick handy at all times without parading it about arrogantly, just in case of an unlikely anomaly occuring. Be upfront and transparent with all the laws, incentives and disincentives and then give them a 2 stikes and your out policy befor silently bringing the rod down! [remind them with a stern warning upon their 1st strike but strike swiftly and without warning upon the 2nd and let them work it out for themselves. It should not be a thrashing but instead a short and very sharp jolt to their senses!]

Personal Disclosure: Voting is cool because you get a choice! Would you rather you didn't get to have a choice?


P.S. NEVER EVER HIT A BABY UNDER 2yrs old! Toddlers on the other hand can walk and talk so overt carrot/stick discipline becomes imperative!



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 09:57 AM
link   
problem is, all that's gonna happen is NZ kids are all going to be rude wasters when they grow up now, you'll get the odd really good parent chucked in jail for forgetting and smacking their kids legs in a supermkt and you'll get just as many kids abused as ever before because idiots who abuse their kids are too thick to care about a no smacking law...

it's frankly ridiculous



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:00 AM
link   
reply to post by heyo
 


I am amazed that you think it is ok - you can't even say anything these days, let alone touching people.

PC has gone too far, but I still believe that you should not be able to hit people.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:00 AM
link   
reply to post by spellbound
 



No, they are only words.


Only words? Why is it that people say such silly things? How do we communicate our thoughts? With words. Words are everything...they start wars, they communicate love, hate, even indifference. Every emotion we convey to others is by word, written and spoken. Yes a glance can convey many things, but we translate them into, yes...words.

Only words?

You ever ask your mother what she thought about being called that? Probably not, you were too busy being hurt.



posted on Aug, 5 2009 @ 10:03 AM
link   

Originally posted by spellbound
We are voting about whether it is OK to smack your kids

It's NZ and you can run your country how ever you want. However ... 'smacking' kids I think is wrong. It mean just using violence. However, if 'physical punishment' (not 'smacking') is used with younger children, all the psychology books I have say it can be useful. Any older then 5 or so and it causes more problems then it stops.



new topics

top topics



 
4
<< 1    3  4  5 >>

log in

join