These Little Ones being born now are...missing something

reply to post by dgtempe


www.conductdisorders.com

I loved this website when my boys were young. They were pretty challenging kids and I needed some advice about school.
Anyway, there's tons of information here to help point you in the right direction and the people there are incredibly helpful.
Even if you just read the forums it will make you feel better to know you're not alone.

sorry to hear about your problems i'm just starting out at a father myself i have a 2 yr old and boy can she get her mother and me riled up but i use the one time rule. this how it works i tell her nicely 1 time to do something, and notice how i said tell her not ask her. these are kids so they don't get the privilages of being ask to do anything. after one time then the consiqences kick in. i do explain my reason for the punishment, they do need to know why they are being punished even if they know already this is just so they can here it come from ya'll mouths. draw the line in the sand,and you would be very surprised the reaction you get. somtimes just too look at them a certain way will change there additude. I will tell you right know i grew up in a God fearing home i have never been in trouble of any sort , or darken the door of any jail. i was spanked as child, but there is one verse from the Bible my mother made us read before we were disiplened and it is , Children obey your parent for it is right in the eyes of the Lord, for you shall live a long and prosperous life. just remember let the punishment fit the crime. Never react out of anger, but do it out of love. explain to them what you expect of them they are old enough to understand. keep the faith on the situation there is alot of good information here just remember you need to draw a line in the sand or somone will draw it for you. God Bless.l

ya, that is why they are maniacs

i agree w/some of the other posts

they need a serious whoopin'

that will wipe that grin right off their little diabolical faces quick

reply to post by dgtempe


My heart bleeds for you.

Kids born to a drug-addicted mother are damaged.

These kids are damaged.

You deserve a life, and your son deserves a life - I am at a loss as to where these kids could go.

Why not do a Dr. Phil intervention - just write to him on his website and ask him to sort it out. He is brilliant.

And the first thing he would tell you is take away everything from those kids. Just a bed in a room, with pillows and duvet/blankets, but no tv, no music, no games, no toys, no books, nothing.

And then make a deal with them - good behaviour equals privileges. Bad behaviour equals no privileges.

reply to post by TheWalkingFox


I was also spanked as a child, and it did me a world of good! I think the effective part of spanking (for me at least) was the emarressment of being spanked. Bending over the bed isnt exactly 'empowering' to a kid!

ya know...a good punch in the throat tends to set people straight...

Its amazing how clear things can be when your gasping for breath

Yea, dont tell me about a good punch in the trhoat please...we're not animals who like to throw punches and hurt our kids.

I already told you all that things couldnt be more strict around my sons house.

Anyway, they woke up at 4:30 am this morning and started throwing things

My son is coming back today from a 3 dayrest. And i'm outta here.

I try to help my son, but this is just too much for me.

Thanks for listening.

I was so bad i wa bit, squeezed, spanked, and i turned out just fine.

I can only hope there is a miracle here.

I still say this generation has terrible anger issues from birth.

Try the book "The Continuum Concept". It's written by a woman who spent 3 years with the Yequana tribe in Venezuela. They never beat or yell at their children. Same as other tribal people trough history. How come those children do not become spoiled, or evil or whatever ?


See these links :

The Continuum Concept - Defined

Who's in Control? - by Jean Liedloff

--------------

" It took some time before the significance of what I was looking at sank into my "civilized" mind. I had spent more than two years living in the jungles of South America with Stone Age Indians. Little boys traveled with us when we enlisted their fathers as guides and crew, and we often stayed for days or weeks in the villages of the Yequana Indians where the children played all day unsupervised by adults or adolescents. It only struck me after the fourth of my five expeditions that I had never seen a conflict either between two children or between a child and an adult. Not only did the children not hit one another, they did not even argue. They obeyed their elders instantly and cheerfully, and often carried babies around with them while playing or helping with the work.

Where were the "terrible twos"? Where were the tantrums, the struggle to "get their own way," the selfishness, the destructiveness and carelessness of their own safety that we call normal? Where was the nagging, the discipline, the "boundaries" needed to curb their contrariness? Where, indeed, was the adversarial relationship we take for granted between parent and child? Where was the blaming, the punishing, or for that matter, where was any sign of permissiveness? "



[edit on 5-8-2009 by pai mei]

reply to post by dgtempe


This

is

the

dumbest

thing

ever.



Giving everything to them? Not spanking them? Then blaming it on them for being inherently evil?

Gross. You deserve what you got.


I shall celebrate the demise of western civilization.

reply to post by jinx880101


Spanking might be ok - a bash to the throat is NOT ok.

OK, a gentle slap is OK, but hitting is not ok.

Read my post above. Tribal people never beat their children. . But their children do not become spoiled. Or "misfits". Or good for nothings. Or whatever. Children are not inherently evil, or antisocial or stupid. Our culture is f..d up.

Just reading this post reminds me of alot of children I see with no discipline in their lives. I'm not saying he, or you, is doing a bad job at raising a child, but...you seriously need to spank them.

I agree with alot of the replies here. But, some are outlandish.
You can't "hit" a child, you have to discipline them. With authority.
Not "Time Out", not by "grounding" or even taking away games. The only way is to smack them on the butt. Hard enough, for them to feel it for a while. Thats why there is alot of padding back there!

I hate to hear people say that spanking is bad for children and its "abuse". BULLCRAPPPY! It is a good way to enforce that the child did wrong. I was paddled, spanked, and "switched" (for those old enough to know what a switch is). I am thankful and respectful to my parents and I know, that I was a mischevious kid.

reply to post by pai mei
[mtyore]y

You say tribal people don't beat their chilldren?

I am telling you that Pacific Islanders beat their children, and so do Maori.

That is why we, here in NZ, have a huge rate of child abuse.

take a 300 liter garbage bag and put all their belongings in its , toys clothes and what not put it out side on the curb and let the nice garbage gentle men do their thing with the bag ,

stop feeding them candy , soda and all that fancy candy crap that dosent help their brain a bit.

veggies and fruits no matter how much they detest it all.

pack your car and take em out doors where they surly will hurt themselfs by being ignorant little critters.

once theyve rolled in poison ivy or goitten bit by a snake or stung by a wasp or fallen down a tree or being chased of by a bore they´ll calm down.

then take em fishing or hunting

repete procedure till they talk and walk like they should.

the end of therapy session.

next session will be about how ignorat kids will pick a good birch branch that will remind them of their place in the family.

That something they are missing, I believe, is suffering.

As ironic as it is, the world is full of it. Sometimes to enjoy a slice of bread you have to be hungry.

Current trends and today's pop culture seem to praise self worth and dominance above all. While good in some context, there is no balance in what they preach - you can see this clearly just listening to any of the music people listen to nowadays. In today's celebrity culture, which has become more than a role model for people, you can see this all the more.

If you don't agree with me, travel to a 3rd world country with a sliver of balance. Sure the adults may be screwed up still, but most of the kids won't. They're glad to be alive more than being sad that they're not popular or some frugal thing like that. I come from a country where I know people in their childhood who have seen outright massacres, I'm talking about a mountain of heads right outside of their house due to a genocide taking place.

They have more self worth than most American youth, despite not having even a quarter of what they have (sometimes not having the essentials - food, electricity, shelter, water, etc)

Try taking your kids for a holiday to a ruined country. Commune with the people there, they will see how lucky they are... If the mainstream cult has not yet made their mark...

reply to post by greentaylor


whats even more amazing about 3rd world children is that they have whiter teeth then most children in wellfare states.

and i agree with you they need to see that life is not just tv-dandy-dandy-world where no one in archie bunkers family gets cancer.

but im more in the let nature brake their spirit and let them ask you for help.
that way they must reconize that you are alpha and that they are not even old enuff to ride the buss alone.
much less stay up after 21:00.

Originally posted by dgtempe
Yea, dont tell me about a good punch in the trhoat please...we're not animals who like to throw punches and hurt our kids.

I already told you all that things couldnt be more strict around my sons house.

Anyway, they woke up at 4:30 am this morning and started throwing things

My son is coming back today from a 3 dayrest. And i'm outta here.

I try to help my son, but this is just too much for me.

Thanks for listening.

Oh, btw, it's great you've had enough of helping your stupid son. Let's just hope that your conscience (or whatever you call that thing inside your head) doesn't haunt you when he finally snaps and wrings out his kids' necks.


Stupidy to the highest degree. Let your social services take away those kids. Maybe they can find someone who knows how to properly raise them.

I'm 23, no children...whatever. I was spanked bare handed, slapped in the mouth, locked outside, beaten with water hoses, spatulas etc etc. I think I turned out excellent.

But that's not the point I'm trying to make. The ONE thing my mother did that helped me the most....was talk to me. She kept a calm demeanor and simply asked me how I felt and why. I'm not sure why, whether it was just an aural consequence of being around someone that was calm or what, but it helped temendously.

It may be different seeing as how these children don't exactly have the brightest of backgrounds, however, you never know... It's worth a shot if you've already thrown the book at 'em(figuratively speaking, of course).

Best of wishes in the development of these two little ones.


Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com

I will remember that, it truly is a blessing to be able to experience nature. Sadly I myself have not gone too deep within that idea... I want to be able to survive off living in the woods sometime, must be quite the experience.

My method is a bit extreme lol, I guess it's a when-all-else-fails therapy. I know kids nowadays that are so in tuned to the World that is all and well that nature is out of their World. The moment you bring them to the forest they just think that it's not even in the same planet anymore, if you know what I mean. Kids that are stubborn will just think "well, this is not how life is right now after all, we can just go home and be in total comfort"