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Sounds like many of the children I know, unfortunately.
Originally posted by dizziedame
If a child broke my car windshield he would not be able to sit on his butt for a few days because I would have given him a real butt whipping.
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
Profile of the Sociopath
This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.
* Glibness and Superficial Charm
* Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
* Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
* Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
* Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
* Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
* Incapacity for Love
* Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
* Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
* Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
* Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
* Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
* Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
* Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
The sociopathic child
The sad truth about sociopaths is that the temperamental traits that lead to this character disorder are mostly genetic. This means the child of a sociopath may inherit a predisposition for the disorder. It also means a sociopathic child can be born into a normal, loving family.
Dr. Liane Leedom, author of Just Like His Father?, believes that although a child with a sociopathic biological parent may have a genetic connection to the disorder, parenting and the environment have a role in determining if the antisocial personality fully develops. To prevent a child from becoming a sociopath, she says, intervention must begin while the child is young-certainly before puberty.
If you have had a child with a sociopath, Lovefraud strongly recommends that you read Just Like His Father? - A Guide to Overcoming Your Child's Genetic Connection to Antisocial Behavior, Addiction & ADHD.
Many people do not want to label a child as a sociopath. In fact, the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV), as presented by BehaveNet®, states that an individual must be at least 18 years of age to be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.
But Dr. Robert Hare and his colleagues, Drs. Adelle Forth and David Kosson, have developed the Hare Psychopathy Checklist: Youth Version. This assessment tool, which must be administered by a trained clinician, measures antisocial traits in youths aged 12 to 18. Other experts say that the symptoms can be seen in much younger children.
What are the signs? Some experts point to three main indicators—cruelty toward animals, fire setting, and longer than normal bedwetting. Lying, defiance, theft, bullying, truancy, early experimentation with sex, and vandalism are more symptoms.
Here is the heartbreaking reality: If you have a sociopathic child, unless intervention was started while the child was young, there may be very little you can do about it.
Physical violence is the last resort of the unimaginative.
So I would say especially for breaking something important like that they need a major league spanking.
Originally posted by Helig
If meds and mental health professionals cannot help them unfortunately I suspect they are beyond the scope of being handled by normal people. Turning them over to the state might be the only reasonable choice if you really do feel they are doing more harm than good remaining in the custody of your son. No amount of one-sided love is worth running one self into the ground over, just keep that in mind.