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These Little Ones being born now are...missing something

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posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:32 PM
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It breaks my heart to write this but what the heck,this is where i pour my heart out.

So here goes:

My oldest son has custody of two kids, boy and a girl, and they are, bless their little hearts, EVIL..

i SAY bless their little hearts because i love them to death, but it is them who want their father dead and also me.

Their father has a nice home for them, everything they could want, they go to psychiatrists, they take meds to lessen their Hate they have for everyone.

Its not working. Within the past two weeks, the oldest one, the boy, 9 years old, broke my sons front windshield just because. My son, of course, was very upset because they dont have muchmoney at all. The boy never showed any remorse, to make a long story short, 3 days ago he went outside and proceeded to break the BACK windshield and, again, just laughed at the whole thing.
My son called me, and when i got here i found him on the floor, unable to breath and i had to call 911. He was crying because now he has no car at all.
He's been in the hospiral for observation. The girl is no better, and nothing bothers them. Its not enough to give them everything they want, its not enough to provide medical care, its not enough to give them all the love in the world,
Sadly, the mother was a drug addict and the children were given to my son.

I am very proud of my son for being a loving father and a good provider, however, i now realize the kids are going to be the death of him AND ME.

They have no conscience. We cant slap them, swat them, the only thing is both low voice to see how they respond, and when they dont, i yell and yell and still no response.

As i said, they are very much loved, treated with love, but they make us wish we were dead.

Does anyone have any tips? Forget professional help. they get that.




posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:37 PM
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If meds and mental health professionals cannot help them unfortunately I suspect they are beyond the scope of being handled by normal people. Turning them over to the state might be the only reasonable choice if you really do feel they are doing more harm than good remaining in the custody of your son. No amount of one-sided love is worth running one self into the ground over, just keep that in mind.


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posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:39 PM
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"The mother was a drug addict" kinda gives me a few flags.

First, kids are dicks. For some reason a lot of people fall into this way of thinking that THEY were perfect children themselves, or at least that things "used to be better"... But no, kids have always been like that. They're selfish, primitive little cretins. It's just the way kids are, and always have been.

Second, if their mother was an addict, odds are they caught some of that in the womb, or were at least rather neglected, either of which could amplify the first problem.

To call them "evil" is ludicrous. They're jackasses, is all. Perhaps your son should stop "giving them everything they want" and start learning how to ground them, remove privileges, and provide such discipline.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:40 PM
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Really the question is what was happening in their environment before your son gained custody. How old were they when he gained custody?

I refuse to believe someone is born evil. You mentioned several interesting things that are signs of something more.

  1. Aggresive behavior
  2. Psychiatrists
  3. Medications
  4. Mother being a drug addict


I believe the answers to my questions may shed some additional light on the real problem at hand.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:42 PM
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i can see where your going. But youve got to remember these kids have come from somewhere that couldnt give two ****s where and what they were doing. and that kinda thing can mess up a kid.
My god father and his partner fosters kids. The first kid was nothing but trouble. He sold half my god fathers things and when he got into trouble the foster sevices took him back. The second kid was a sweet heart. but then he started hanging out with the wrong kid and he got into troble and was taken back. The kid there looking after now is the sweetest kid ever. hes disabled so they get more help with him. and his mother is allowed acess to him quite regualy. I live in a really rough area so its not unusall for me to see kids that are such brats its unbelivable. But you'know if you can stick it out long enough for them to realise that there not in some place where they can get away with anything or something like that



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:46 PM
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I agree that a heavy hand is needed. Unconditional love will only serve to reinforce and justify their actions, until they are old enough to understand the emotion a little more clearly.

I do not advocate corporal punishment, but it sounds like the children need to be separated and kept busy.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:48 PM
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Take them to the poorest place you can find on this earth and let them live there for 3 months. Imagine the look on their face when they have little to eat, see people in far worse condition than you, but more importantly have to adapt to that way of life.

Maybe when they come back, they will be more considerate of the life they have.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:52 PM
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Originally posted by TheWalkingFox
"The mother was a drug addict" kinda gives me a few flags.

First, kids are dicks. For some reason a lot of people fall into this way of thinking that THEY were perfect children themselves, or at least that things "used to be better"... But no, kids have always been like that. They're selfish, primitive little cretins. It's just the way kids are, and always have been.

Second, if their mother was an addict, odds are they caught some of that in the womb, or were at least rather neglected, either of which could amplify the first problem.

To call them "evil" is ludicrous. They're jackasses, is all. Perhaps your son should stop "giving them everything they want" and start learning how to ground them, remove privileges, and provide such discipline.


Walking Fox pretty much nailed it on the head, for me. People, and by extension- kids- are, by nature, selfish and amoral. Historically, cultural institutions and standards of behavior have been in place to temper childrens' natural tendency to chaos. Church, discipline in schools, discipline at home- these things are all being phased out in our culture. Parents are encouraged to dole out "unconditional love" and are discouraged from disciplining their children.

The best way to ensure that your kids become monsters is to "give them everything they want". I know a lot of parents who subscribe to this notion- and every single one of their kids is a nihilistic cretin. Parenting is about setting and enforcing boundaries, establishing what is and what is not acceptable behavior. When kids get out of line, it is a parent's duty to set them straight, using any and all means available to them. If my nine-year old son were to smash out my car's window and laugh about it, you'd better believe that I wouldn't be in the one curled up in a corner and crying.


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posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:55 PM
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Spank em!!! , Yeah I KNOW that you're not supposed to hit kids. I'm not saying beat your children and abuse them , I'm simply saying the kids need a spankin. I'm 29 and I got spanked as a kid , I wasn't abused and my dad used to always say "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you" right before he spanked me, I always thought... "BULLS***!" Now I have kids and I understand. They are all different , with my son I can use a tone of voice and use "The Look" and he straightens up , The "count to three" works on him as well as timeouts. The only thing my daughter responded to was spankings when she was little , I never spanked her (that was my wifes job) but now just the threat of the spanking works. If I say "Pow , Pow" she know's what the deal is. The kid's in the OP are still young enough to be fixed. Discipline and love is what they need.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:55 PM
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Forty lashes with a belt, that works for me..



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:55 PM
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reply to post by dgtempe
 


Your son my friend has lost its authority and respect from the children to gain that back he can not show signs of weakness.

You don't say if the children's' mother still have rights to visitation with the children.

Perhaps she is working the children against the father and at such a vulnerable age they will side with the mother.

I hope you find the help you need, but once the children find the weakness on the parents is very difficult to reverse that back.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:57 PM
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reply to post by dgtempe
 


For starters I would make it clear to the kid that if he breaks something deliberately then he will have privileges taken away...and then make sure your son follows through. So his Television watching, dvd's, xbox whatever are taken out if he doesn't behave...and no treats. Then let them earn these things back.
And then it might be an idea to completely eradicate anything in their diet that has any e number or additive...don't give them any junk food whatsoever, or cokes. And then see if the behaviour changes. They have changed the behaviour of prisoners before now just by completely taking the rubbish out of their diets....just a thought.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 02:59 PM
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Call Dr. Laura Schlessinger, she always has good advice, especially in cases with kids. I'm sorry they are like that, but something is wrong with them, The kids are lashing out because of something, Please dont give the kids up to the state that will just make them worse. I hope that with the mom a drug addict they (kids) dont have contact with her.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 03:00 PM
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reply to post by EyesWideShut
 


I was spanked too as a child.

It was pretty ineffective. It hurts for a minute, and that's it. While I certainly didn't LIKE getting spanked, it simply wasn't much of a deterrent for me being a selfish, primitive cretin


But. Being a selfish dolt, threats to take away my stuff proved VERY effective. I don't think I ever behaved so well as I did when my parents locked my NES in their closet


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posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 03:02 PM
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The problem is what you stated yourself.

"we can't slap them, we can't swat them . . ."

You take a nice, thick, heavy belt, and when they don't follow your instructions to the letter, you wear their ass out.

They break something or disrespect you or yours in any manner, you beat their asses until their britches won't hold corn shucks.

For those who don't love their kids enough to discipline them, this is very common behavior.

These kids have no boundaries, and no down side.

You better draw the line, draw them deep, and draw them with a firm hand.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 03:02 PM
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from knowing people in the street, punks, general misfits, and now being grown up, some of those same #heads are still doing their little doings (the ones that are not dead or in jail)

some people are not neccessarily born evil, but they do retain it, and I personally believe, like being evil. Some dont change even 20 years later.

I wish your son the best of luck, if meds and docs dont work, I dont see how anything else will. I actually am not interested in having children myself. I have seen my friends have children, and most have problems with their kids. They have no idea what to do. No thanks. Not for me.

just my thoughts,



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 03:09 PM
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Sound to me like these kids need a bit of a butt whoopin'. Honestly, parents are too scared to smack their kids a bit these days. My dad spanked me numerous times growing up, and honestly I always thought I was going to die but it was never very hard or physical. It was merely an attempt to show who is in charge, and the fact that most kids these days have no respect for anyone shows to me that smacking that butt a few times will wake them up.

Sorry to say, but all children are products of their upbringing, and if you let them walk all over you they will continue to do so. It is up to you and your son to change their ways of thinking, and you cannot rely on meds alone.



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 03:10 PM
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Corporeal Punishment is necessary. Not beatings, but following through on whatever threats you make.

(Last night my 3 year old wouldn't eat his dinner. I threatened to eat it myself, and he thought it was funny, and I continually warned him that when I was done, I was eating his. I did exactly that! About half way through his food, he decided to eat the rest before it was all gone!)

It is pretty simple really.
Don't threaten any punishment unless you intend to back it up.

In other words, don't constantly yell and yell. Give them some independence and decisioni making ability, but when you do make a threat or an ultimatum, follow it up with as much force as necessary. This may mean spanking, slapping, holding down, or eating their dinner! Your word needs to stand no matter what!

The kids are not evil. That does not happen. It sounds like a bad situation, but the kids can come out fine if you become a LOVING, AUTHORITY figure. They need both!!

My mom was the most beloved in our neighborhood, but she was also the strictest! My friends loved to stay at my house, and believe me they behaved better at my house than at their own!!



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 03:10 PM
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Originally posted by dgtempe
They have no conscience.


...is that your opinion or their pyschiatrist's opinion?...


We cant slap them, swat them, the only thing is both low voice to see how they respond, and when they dont, i yell and yell and still no response.


...why would you want to hit an already damaged child?... perhaps they are damaged because someone already hit and yelled at them too much...

...is your son in counseling/therapy?... if not, he needs to be because laying on the floor and crying yourself into such a hissy fit that ems has to be called is not the behavior of an adult that is capable of handling two kids as messed up as you claim they are...

...counseling wouldnt hurt you either and it could help you find effective non-violent coping skills...



posted on Aug, 4 2009 @ 03:10 PM
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I suspect that if the OP really believes these children are indeed 'evil', then she would not openly be expressing love for them. It's not possible to feel love for something that is truly evil. You would instead feel emotions such as fear, horror and imminent danger. That being said, I don't see that as the case here.

I do believe that individuals are born 'missing something', the integral part that makes them human; as is often the case with sociopaths, etc. In this case, it sounds like the children are just plain brats that need a good smack on the butt and probably a whole lot of discipline to set them straight.

Sounds like many of the children I know, unfortunately.



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