posted on Sep, 5 2015 @ 02:09 PM
I have had a pretty wicked form of anxiety for the past seven years. All through university I had derealization and dissociation, sleep paralysis,
hypochondria, anxiety, anxiety, and more anxiety- it's been treacherous. Absolutely treacherous.
We are always scrambling to reach a "higher state of consciousness" or to find our "true self" on this path that seems to dangle between sanity and
insanity. Always trying to get better, to go from here to there, to get higher, work harder and aim for some higher level of being where we can sit in
a safe place that lies outside of fear.
There is no "true self". There is "self" and there is "no self". Self is ego. No self is enlightened awareness, though I hate that term- enlightened.
Every sense of self..higher, lower, whatever have you- self is ego. And ego is something completely dictated by things like fear.
Most mental health worries stem from fear, I would say fear of the loss of control. It certainly is for anxiety, though since that is the only thing I
have experienced, I cannot speak for the others.
The only thing you need to understand if you want to sit outside of that fear and outside of your mental health concerns is just that. It is not
something that you need to travel to for years upon years, it is something you bring from there, into you. I find that the longer you hold the
mentality that you must go...there...the more you become more addicted to the path or journey than the actual destination.
You cannot will away fear. Fear is a wall you walk through, you cannot walk around that wall and detour.
A lot of fear comes from the idea of loss of control. When we are babies we can hardly be blamed for anything, since we assume babies have no control
over how they scream or wake up in the night. We assume children have no control, as they are just children and can therefore have no control over
their tantrums or ideas. We can say that the elderly have no control over when they die, when they get sick, or how much slower they seem to move. We
cannot look at someone who was born to a rich family in Switzerland and compare that person to someone born in Iran and say, "listen bud, it's your
fault you've had a hard life, you were born in Iran and it is your own fault, you controlled that". It makes no sense.
So we subconsciously all believe that we have "control" but only in a very brief part of our lives...our middle years. It is very biased. No one
assumes we have any control over ourselves until we are adults. As if control is something our minds develop physiologically with age, only to
deteriorate again when we die. It makes no sense.
Relinquish control and you relinquish fear. Relinquish control and you understand that things happen exactly as they should, and for whatever reason
you are meant to experience whatever it is that you are experiencing. Relinquish control and you understand that "higher self" and "higher
consciousness" are just more manifestations of ego, trying to cling onto the thrill and chaos of the path with no regard for the actual destination.