Am I mentally ill?

reply to post by kettlebellysmith


My first inclination was schizophrenia as well, especially with the hearing of voices. It sounds like a mild form, but needs to be looked at.

As others have said, if it is a mental illness remember it is physiological. There is a reason beyond your control.

If you are unsure, then you should first and foremost seek help, but not here on ATS. Don't trust your mental health to a person that is not qualified. If you have an MD you trust, who knows you, start there. They can refer you to someone they trust.

Again, don't seek your advice here. There are just too many more than happy to give you bad advice or even give advice based on their own delusions.

You might also think about if any of your habits have changed as to medications or foods containing stimulants. For instance are you drinking a dozen Red Bulls a day? Taking pills for allergies? Gorging on sugar filled items? Taking Opiates or their equivalent which can cause lucid hallucinations? Even so, still talk to an MD.

Last but not least, if you are using Meth, everything you mention is not only possible but likely to happen to you. (Don't take this personal, I just mention it just in case.)

....and I can't state this enough - DO NOT GET YOUR ADVICE HERE!!! No amount of wishful thinking by the paranoid of MD's crowd can help if you have an imbalance. These people are your worst enemy!

Ok since you guys are adamant about this primitive anti-psychotic medication stuff, I will go out of my way to prove that this is a primitive solution that can possibly end up hurting you 100x more than you realize.

But before I get into the medication and treatment assault, I will warn you, if you go into a psychiatrist office for a meeting, there is a 99% chance you will be diagnosed with something! *(Unless you pay in cash, than your chances for diagnosis are far lower)

Here is why.

When you walk in, they will say "Do you have insurance", And chances are you will say "Why yes, here is my insurance information"

Now, for insurance to cover you, you have to be diagnosed with something (at least the insurance companies I have experience with)

If you are not diagnosed, your insurance provider will most likely make you pay for it, and they will not want to cover your visit.

So expect a extremely high rate of mental disorder diagnosis based purely on financial reasons. No matter who you are, chances are you will get a diagnosis no matter what symptoms you present.

Now, I am digging up some info that will probably scare your pants off about all these drugs these people are trying to convince you to take. By the end of my rant, you will probably never go within 100 feet of any psychiatrist again, simply due to safety concerns. This will be my next post in a few moments.

Superstition aside, I would definitely go see a psychiatrist. They will help you immensely. I'm wondering too if it might be schizophrenia, which can be VERY serious in some cases. Before you go looking at the superstitious side you want to make sure it isn't a health issue.

ATS isn't the place for these questions by the way, most of us aren't qualified.


[edit on 7/27/09 by MoothyKnight]

Already this is too Long for me to read- I get too bored! -But I sense the need for you to talk about your situation. Please don't be frightnened of seeking medical help. As it is you are feeling disturbed with what you are already experiencing- and that to me is a serious need of geting some support and relief from your conditiion. Medication is something that will ease your symptoms. Really its up to you if you want to ease yourself. And don't be "Ashamed" of feeling this way. There is help out there- you can be treated for any of the symptoms that you have experienced. Don't hesitate in Reaching Out to places that are more than willing to Listen and to Help you through this. I wish you all the best.

reply to post by Uniceft17



Hi. I would highly suggest you check out orthomolecular therapy. It sounds to me like you have abnormal neurotransmitter levels running through your brain. Histamine is a neurotransmitter, than functions like a break for the rest of the NT's. If you have low histamine levels, you could have major misperceptions and outright hallucinations. Do you have insomnia issues?

The low histamine level condition is called histapenia. Research that. High histamine is called histadelia. Check that too. The third condition is called pyroluria.

I had pyroluria and histapenia last year, along with copper-overload which intertwines with histapenia. Copper destroys histamine.

Within a week of treating with just high-dose supplements, a lot of my issues went away. It took several more months to really stabilize, but was well worth the wait. No pharmaceuticals, just nutrient supplements!

Check out orthomed.org for some info.

Wish you the best

Excellent books for natural treatments are:

Or thomolecular Treatment for everyone

Depres sion-Free, Naturally

[edit on 27-7-2009 by unityemissions]

I agree with muzzle, ... by the time your on those psychiatric meds .... you really will be insane.
I too have had problems with anxiety, paranoia, stuff like that. The good ole doc gave me an SSRI, or an antidepressant, .... I felt good for a couple of days, ... but when the drug started to build up in my system i felt like I had stuck my arm in an electrical socket. SSRI's increase neurotransmitters..... which makes your mind work faster, and if your having problems controlling anxiety, racing thoughts, ... this will double or triple your problem, .... serioulsy, I would sleep maybe 2 or 3 hours a night, ... wake up with my eyes wide open, ... i wouldnt eat, .... I felt like I was on crystal meth.
Basicaly since then, .. I've learned that my anxiety, paranoia seem to be linked to this mental energy, ... its like a tornado in my head begging to be expressed. I think these afflictions are directly tied to a sedentary lifestyle, ..... its like a battery constantly being charged, .... all of this energy with nowhere to go can manifest itself in different ways.

Originally posted by Uniceft17

Originally posted by Thrilla Kid
Those who are mentally ill are usually unaware that they are mentally ill.

This my friend is my only shread of hope because I too have heard this.

I think this depends on the type of mental illness you have. If you are depressed or have an anxiety disorder unless you are in denial you are aware you have a problem, if you are in deniel you know you have a problem but you excuse it as something else. Schitzophrenia is sometimes known by the patient and sometimes they think there visions are reality so they do not know they are ill. It depends on the severity of the disease. The best thing you can do is go see specialist and have test run, the sooner you catch your illness the better. Recovery takes longer the longer you let it go. If a tumor is ruled out and you are diagnosed with a mental illness remember it is an illness not a death sentence. You did nothing wrong to cause your illness and should not be ashamed. With a positive attitude and a good doctor you can live a normal healthy life. If you have a bad attitude then you are more likely to stay sick and it is more likely to negativly effect your life. You need a support group where you can talk to people just like you that live normal lives and they can be an inspiration to you. You will be surprised who you will see in these groups, lawyers, teachers, moms, dads, politicians and doctors just because you are mentaot mean u cannot live a successful life. The chioce is really yours. Do not be afraid to go to the doctor it will save your life and do not let ignorant stigmas cause you one minuet of trouble. You can beat it you can do it...

reply to post by unityemissions


Wowzers, you might of hit it on the head there, ... Symptom of low hystamine levels exhibit paranoia and hallucinations, ..... and 50% of all Schizophrenics have Histapenia !!

And although I dont downplay the severity of authentic mental illness's, ... I have always believed that the body has a natural ability to heal itself of any non genetic affliction. ..... water the flower, and it will grow.

I have schizophrenia and I can relate to most of your symptoms. The feeling like you're not in control of yourself, irrational thoughts, the voices, the fleeting shadows, the paranoia... It's all a part of my disease.

Please don't listen to the people telling you to stay away from psychiatrists and medications, there's nothing wrong with them and the meds are the only thing that keep me sane. You will feel much better once you start taking them.

Schizophrenia is an awful disease, but it's usually manageable with therapy and medication. Please get help.

Originally posted by IntastellaBurst


I agree with muzzle, ... by the time your on those psychiatric meds .... you really will be insane.
I too have had problems with anxiety, paranoia, stuff like that. The good ole doc gave me an SSRI, or an antidepressant, .... I felt good for a couple of days, ... but when the drug started to build up in my system i felt like I had stuck my arm in an electrical socket. SSRI's increase neurotransmitters..... which makes your mind work faster, and if your having problems controlling anxiety, racing thoughts, ... this will double or triple your problem, .... serioulsy, I would sleep maybe 2 or 3 hours a night, ... wake up with my eyes wide open, ... i wouldnt eat, .... I felt like I was on crystal meth.
Basicaly since then, .. I've learned that my anxiety, paranoia seem to be linked to this mental energy, ... its like a tornado in my head begging to be expressed. I think these afflictions are directly tied to a sedentary lifestyle, ..... its like a battery constantly being charged, .... all of this energy with nowhere to go can manifest itself in different ways.

Sorry to hear you had such a bad experience on your meds. SSRI's made my life livable. I too have anxiety and PTSD. It is possible you had a reaction to the medicine and need to try some more (but I understand why you would not want to) until you get one that works for you. It is also posible that you have been misdiagnosed and SSRI's are not what you need. If your brain is functioning properly in that it is making the chemicals your SSRI's are replacing taking these meds is like being on drugs. Same as pain medcine if you take it for fun and are not in pain you get a drugged effect. Anyway if your symptoms interfear with your daily life seek a good specialist that can diagnose you properly and give you the correct meds. You may have AADD, or an over active adrenail gland that has nothing to do with your mental health only in that it effects it. Good luck and do not let a bad experience turn you off from getting proper help.

Doctors do many great things, but the problem is that anything unusual or unexplainable is treated as a problem that must be cured. They can diagnose and treat just about anything... That doesn't mean that they understand the actual issue, or that they'll improve anything. I don't recommend against seeking medical or other help, but I would be very hesitant to just blindly go along with what someone else says or prescribes, when it comes to your mental well-being.

I once tried to write off my own paranormal experiences as being just my imagination, and there was a point where it was so much that I even somewhat wondered if I was just going insane. In a way, it's easier to deal with these things if you can explain it, even if you don't like the diagnosis. But in my case, different people were involved in several of the experiences, and they saw and experienced the same things that I did. When other people describe details of something that matches your own experience, even though you've never shared those details with them, it forces you to realize that something really happened, and that's not always such an easy thing to deal with. It's still surreal when I think back about some of my experiences, and part of me wants to pretend it's all scientifically explainable, but the fact that I sometimes struggle to deal with is that it's not.

So, I can't tell you what the cause of your experiences is, but I can tell you that science doesn't have all of the answers yet, because no living human does. Stay positive with whatever happens. No matter if it's real or if it's just some disorder, there is a potential for you to open yourself up to negative things... You control that, so don't let it happen by opening a door for them or otherwise encouraging it.

[edit on 27-7-2009 by TurboDC4]

Originally posted by LiquidLight
I have schizophrenia and I can relate to most of your symptoms. The feeling like you're not in control of yourself, irrational thoughts, the voices, the fleeting shadows, the paranoia... It's all a part of my disease.

Please don't listen to the people telling you to stay away from psychiatrists and medications, there's nothing wrong with them and the meds are the only thing that keep me sane. You will feel much better once you start taking them.

Schizophrenia is an awful disease, but it's usually manageable with
therapy and medication. Please get help.

Thank you my friend for that is the most "Sane" thing I have heard here today along with many others who so agree. What makes it Real and so Remarkable is that you are "A Voice". I'm not sure how old the OP is -but definately sounds like in need of "guidance." -Talking about "alternative" solutions can be dangerous, for this is heavily dependant on the "Individuals State Of Mind". Thus may not be according to your "Relatively" so called "Sound Advice". Once Again ATS is not the Place to intimately involve yourself with serious "psychiatric illness" Please be aware of what your addressing to "Individuals" who are in serious need!

reply to post by Uniceft17


Hi there. Well, first of all, let me say, I know it can be scary to go through what you're going through, because I've been there myself.

It does sound like you're having some hallucinations.....but, I'm not a physician, so I cannot diagnose you. However, there are LOTS of medical illnesses that can cause hallucinations and delusions and psychosis, that can LOOK like schizophrenia. For example, some people are allergic to wheat, and they can look like they have schizophrenia. Some people can have thyroid or other endocrine disorders, and it can also look like psychosis.

So, first, go see a regular doctor and be sure to ask for a full MEDICAL workup before you see a psychatrist, or while you are seeing a psychiatrist, to rule out other problems. Lots of people are misdiagnosed every year, and end up spending years in the psych system when they didn't need to. The psychiatrists are often not very good at ordering tests to rule out other medical problems.

The reason I stress this is because I was partially misdiagnosed for years, when it turns out I have no thyroid gland. Long story, but misdiagnoses do happen. I ended up in the hospital three times before we figured out I had no thyroid gland. I might still have bipolar disorder....probably do.... but my main problem is that I have no thyroid gland. (Very, very rare problem....the endocrinologist couldn't believe it. Long story.)

Anyway, here's my advice:

1. Go to your regular doctor. Tell him or her what's happening to you. Ask for a full medical work-up to rule out medical conditions that can cause hallucinations. A FULL medical workup.

2. If he/she suggests you go see a psychiatrist, do it. You don't want to have a psychotic break....I've had plenty of them, and trust me, they're no fun!! Better to avoid them and prevent them, than have them.

3. If the psych meds don't work, and if you have no other medical problems causing your symptoms, look into alternative medicine, such as homeopathy. Try to find a physician or a psychiatrist who also practices homeopathy....there are a few of them out there.

Since I started doing "alternative medicine" (hypnosis and homeopathy) I have not ever been back in the hospital. Homeopathy and hypnosis literally saved my life. Even my parents tell me it's amazing how much better I am since I started homeopathy. They saw me struggle for years with regular psych meds which did nothing for me.

If you want to read a book about homeopathy for mental illness, you can read a book called Prozac Free by the Ullmans. They are naturopathic physicians. However, homeopathy is expensive. It works....but, it's expensive. (The remedies are super-cheap, but it's seeing a homeopath who can find the right remedy for you that's expensive.) And they are not covered by most health insurance companies, either.


4. There's also a great book I recommend called "Spiritual Emergency: When Personal Transformation Becomes a Crisis" by a psychiatrist named Stanislof Grof, M.D.. I wish I would have had read it before I got really sick, because it would have helped me understand what was happening to me. His belief is that many people who are diagnosed as 'mentally ill" are actually having "spiritual emergencies" that can often look like mental illnesses. (For example, you could be psychic and having a psychic opening.)

5. If you feel like you could be a danger to yourself or others, of course, go to a hospital. I've been hospitalized several times, and each time I was in the hospital, it was the best place for me, because I was scared to death. I wasn't a danger to myself or others, but I was petrified about what was happening to me, and it helped me to be in the hospital, because I lived alone, and just had no concept of what was real and what was not. The psychotic break was terrifying...the hospital wasn't too bad! It was a safe place, and I felt better when I was in there. The people were nice...there's no reason to be afraid of going to the psych hospital if you need it during a crisis.

6. If they diagnose you as bipolar, ask to try lithium first. I'm a pharmacist, and I can tell you that for years, they've been pushing all the newer antipsychotic medications on people with bipolar disorder when lithium usually works better, and is much cheaper, and it doesn't cause nearly as much weight gain or movement disorders as the antipsychotic medications.

Other alternatives to antpsychotics are the anticonvulsants, such as depakote, topamax, and lamictal. Anticonvulsants often work very well in bipolar people.

If you get diagnosed as schizophrenic, don't worry, it's not the end of the world. I have a really, really good friend who is schizophrenic and I would never have known he was schizophrenic if he hadn't told me. He's a brilliant writer, very funny, and quite handsome. And he's been on psych meds for years. He's really good about taking his antipsychotic meds, and he's doing wonderfully.

The trick is, is to get correctly diagnosed first, then to get the right therapy for you. Sometimes it's treating the underlying cause, sometimes it's medication, sometimes it's holistic therapy. But please, start out by seeing a doctor, because I would hate for anything to happen to you!

Hope that helps. Hope you feel better soon.



[edit on 28-7-2009 by nikiano]

I think its all good advice, dont take anything too seriously, and explore your options ....

The only case in which I wouldnt reccomend you go to a psychiatrist ...... is if your psychiatrist was Tom Cruise.

Chlorpromazine (Thorazine)
the oldest typical antipsychotic


en.wikipedia.org...

"Because it acts on so many receptors, chlorpromazine is often referred to as a "dirty drug""

Adverse Effects

"The main side effects of chlorpromazine are due to its anticholinergic properties; these effects overshadow and counteract, to some extent, the extrapyramidal side effects typical of many early generation antipsychotics. These include sedation, slurred speech, dry mouth, constipation, urinary retention and possible lowering of seizure threshold. Appetite may be increased with resultant weight gain, Glucose tolerance may be impaired.[19] Dermatological reactions are frequently observed. In fact three types of skin disorders are observed: hypersensitivity reaction, contact dermatitis, and photosensitivity. During long-term therapy in schizophrenic patients chlorpromazine can induce abnormal pigmentation of the skin. This can be manifested as gray-blue pigementation in regions exposed to sunlight."

"There are striking adverse effects on the reproductive system. Phenothiazines are known to cause hyperprolactinaemia leading to amenorrhea, cessation of normal cyclic ovarian function, loss of libido, occasional hirsutism, false positive pregnancy tests, and long-term risk of osteoporosis in women. The effects of hyperprolactinemia in men are impotence, loss of libido, and hypospermatogenesis. These antipsychotics have significant effects on gonadal hormones including significantly lower levels of estradiol and progesterone in women whereas men display significantly lower levels of testosterone and DHEA when undergoing antipsychotic drug treatment compared to controls."

"antipsychotic drugs may cause priapism, a pathologically prolonged and painful penile erection, which is usually unassociated with sexual desire or intercourse. Although this effect is rare it is a potentially serious complication that can lead to permanent impotence and other serious complications."

"Doses of antipsychotics that are considered therapeutically low are sufficient to trigger an epileptic seizure......The incidence of the first unprovoked seizure in the general population is 0.07 to 0.09%, whereas the incidence rates have been reported to range from 0.1 to 1.5% in patients treated with therapeutic doses of the most commonly used antipsychotic drugs.....Furthermore, the seizure risk rises markedly to a range of 4 to 30% in patients who have taken an overdose."

"Tardive dyskinesia and akathisia are less commonly seen with chlorpromazine than they are with high potency typical antipsychotics such as haloperidol or trifluoperazine, and some evidence suggests that, in conservative dosing, the incidence of such effects with chlorpromazine may be comparable with that of newer agents such as risperidone or olanzapine."

"Tardive dyskinesia is a variety of dyskinesia (involuntary, repetitive movements).....The effect of these drugs can be tardive, meaning the dyskinesia sometimes continues or appears even after the drugs are no longer taken."

"Despite the fact that tardive dyskinesia has existed for over 50 years, its etiology is poorly understood due to the limited research conducted on psychiatric drug side effects. The cause of tardive dyskinesia appears to be related to damage to the system that uses and processes the neurotransmitter dopamine. "


en.wikipedia.org...

"A particularly severe side effect is neuroleptic malignant syndrome which occurs in approximately 0.05% of those taking chlorpromazine and can be fatal"

"Neuroleptic malignant syndrome (NMS) is a neurological disorder most often caused by an adverse reaction to neuroleptic or antipsychotic drugs. It generally presents with muscle rigidity, fever, autonomic instability and cognitive changes such as delirium, and is associated with elevated creatine phosphokinase"

en.wikipedia.org...

"Other reported side effects are rare, though severe; these include a reduction in the number of white blood cells—referred to as leukopenia—or, in extreme cases, even agranulocytosis, which may occur in 0.01% of patients andlead to death via uncontrollable infections and/or sepsis. Chlorpromazine is also known to accumulate in the eye—in the posterior corneal stroma, lens, and uveal tract. Because it is a phototoxic compound, the potential exists for it to cause cellular damage after light exposure. Research confirms a significant risk of blindness from continued use of chlorpromazine, as well as other optological defects such as color blindness and benign pigmentation of the cornea."

"Chlorpromazine is the antipsychotic drug with the highest rates (0.5% to 1%) of liver toxicity of the cholestatic type"

"In some rare cases psychosis or death can result from the paradoxical lowering of blood pressure, or deathdue to cardiac arrest attributed to dysrhythmia."


" Cardiac arrhythmia and apparent sudden deathhave been associated with therapeutic doses of chlorpromazine, however they are rare cases."

"These major cardiac arrhythmias that are lethal are a potential hazard even in patients without heart disease who are receiving therapeutic doses of antipsychotic drugs."

"A failure to notice withdrawal symptoms may be due to the relatively long half life of the drug resulting in the extremely slow excretion from the body.However, there are reports of muscular discomfort, exaggeration of psychotic symptoms and movement diosorders, and difficulty sleeping when the antipsychotic drug is suddenly withdrawn"

reply to post by Uniceft17


You are very sensitive (in a non-traditional sense of the word). You seem sensitive to inter-dimensional flows. I see and hear things, never actually "felt" anything, but i definitely see and hear things i cannot possibly describe fully even today.

As I was reading your thread I first thought you might have been channeling something (and indeed that's a possibility) but now i think somebody or something tries to tamper with your mind, and make you think you are delusional or insane. Or the goal is something else. I say you are not mentally ill, because i have had the same experiences and mentally ill people do not produce such coherent and intelligent thoughts like you do. And i would agree with Thrilla Kid on this, those who are mentally ill are usually unaware that they are mentally ill. And do NOT seek help.

I was panicking a lot when it started happening to me, pretty much like you do now. Its important to accept it as a normal thing of your everyday life and embrace it as such. Panic, paranoia & fear will only worsen the situation.

Try forms of meditation, and yoga as well. It relaxes the mind and body.

Oh, and don't EVER listen what the dark figures say. They don't mean well, and they get what they want if yo listen to what they say. SO just tune off. Weird thing is they hide when you spot them, not the case with me. I used to see them all the time, now rarely, but every time i do, they don't run, they let me see them. For a long time i thought i was crazy as well, till i met about 10 other people who have EXACTLY the same experiences.

So rest assure you are not alone in that. There are others who have experienced the same.

This is just drug #1 on my list.

Do we really need to push me into going over every single antipsychotic out there? Do you really really want me to make the next 20 posts full of blocks of texts on adverse side effects?

Oh it gets wayyyy worse. I just went over chlorpromazine (Thorazine)

Whats up next??

clozapine (Clozaril)
haloperidol (Haldol)
aripiprazole (Abilify)
risperidone (Risperdal)
quetiapine (Seroquel)
olanzapine (Zyprexa)
Bifeprunox

And some more.

By the time I am done showing you the truth about Antipsychotic medication, you will be vomiting all over your computer

This stuff can screw you up for life, and even KILL you!

Stay away from this junk. Even psychiatrists do not know what they are playing with and convincing people to put in their bodies!

[edit on 28-7-2009 by muzzleflash]

reply to post by muzzleflash


Yeeaaaah, about those " antipsychotics" there muzzleflash, .....

Do you have any for sale ??? haha

Dammit !! Tom Cruise is going to be very dissapointed in me.

reply to post by IntastellaBurst




I'll spare the thread any further vomit inducing quotes.

For now at least.

Hey I just dont want our OP taking toxic chemicals to get rid of a ghost haunting thats all!

It probably won't even stop the ghost from messing with them either

Try a Chinese traditional Herbalist first or something, Native American remedies, anything. Hire an exorcist i dont know.

You do not need to be a Medical Doc to know this antipsychotic crap is crazy to take.

Do research, read up on it.

Look up the drugs I listed above (OP). The adverse side effects go on and on, it will blow your mind!

But if your feeling really brave...go get a diagnosis from the Doc. If he says "take X or Y medications" Research it in depth before you put it in your mouth! Fair Warning!