reply to post by Mindmelding
You sir/madam are right on the money. I can count the number of times I was spanked on one hand. I had timeouts and groundings and other things as
well when the situation warranted but was only spanked when I had done something particularly stupid. Let's just say I didn't repeat the
particularly stupid actions again. I never considered my parents my friends when growing up, my parents were my parents. Now that i'm older I
consider my parents my friends as well as my parents. Now that I can see a lot better where they were coming from.
Now should you spank all children all the time? Not at all, it should be on a case by case basis. You do something incredibly stupid or dangerous, you
get spanked.
Shockingly enough people who were spanked can turn out to be perfectly well adjusted members of society. It's the children who were abused that turn
out differently.
You have every right in the world to whoop ya kid's..PLZ start I am sick of all the punk's, page 9
privacy
reply posted on 27-7-2009 @ 06:14 PM by tyranny22
reply to post by TheLily
You can't chalk all that up to being spanked. Sounds more like he was abused and not just physically, but mentally or else he probably wouldn't suffer from such problems today. I think the problem goes far beyond just being spanked.
We're not (at least I am not) endorsing extreme punishment - not to the point of being physically or emotionally scarred. We're talking about punishment here, not abuse.
I hope that things improve for you and your family. I hope your husband can deal with and find help for his problems. He'll no doubt have to recover from his past before he can reconcile his present.
[edit on 27-7-2009 by tyranny22]
You can't chalk all that up to being spanked. Sounds more like he was abused and not just physically, but mentally or else he probably wouldn't suffer from such problems today. I think the problem goes far beyond just being spanked.
We're not (at least I am not) endorsing extreme punishment - not to the point of being physically or emotionally scarred. We're talking about punishment here, not abuse.
I hope that things improve for you and your family. I hope your husband can deal with and find help for his problems. He'll no doubt have to recover from his past before he can reconcile his present.
[edit on 27-7-2009 by tyranny22]
reply posted on 27-7-2009 @ 06:21 PM by GradyPhilpott
reply to post by 6EQUJ5
What you are describing are not "whoopings."
Your examples are cases of criminal neglect, aggravated assault/battery and murder.
Your examples do nothing to illuminate the debate. They only muddy the waters, as it were.
What you are describing are not "whoopings."
Your examples are cases of criminal neglect, aggravated assault/battery and murder.
Your examples do nothing to illuminate the debate. They only muddy the waters, as it were.
reply posted on 27-7-2009 @ 06:24 PM by TheLily
reply to post by 2theC
I used that on my eldest 2!Worked fantastically!
Nowadays i remove mobile phone,computer,DVD and ground them.It works a treat if they're being bulshy,but i rarely have to do it as we talk it through more often than not.They grow up alot as they head into their teens,you can talk things through.It's a double-edged sword though.....they are SO stroppy!
I used that on my eldest 2!Worked fantastically!
Nowadays i remove mobile phone,computer,DVD and ground them.It works a treat if they're being bulshy,but i rarely have to do it as we talk it through more often than not.They grow up alot as they head into their teens,you can talk things through.It's a double-edged sword though.....they are SO stroppy!
reply posted on 27-7-2009 @ 06:27 PM by 2theC
reply to post by TheLily
yes, it does work a treat
and i find i rarely even get to 1
i just say i might start counting, and then we talk...
highly recommended!!!!!!
yes, it does work a treat
and i find i rarely even get to 1
i just say i might start counting, and then we talk...
highly recommended!!!!!!
reply posted on 27-7-2009 @ 06:36 PM by TheLily
reply to post by tyranny22
Oh you get me wrong!
He's my EX.Very very very EX!
He has been left emotionally scarred by his childhood.He's had one failed relationship after another.
I don't think you can rule out his 'whoopings' in this,they must've had an effect.
If a parent can exercise restraint and spank a child with pure love in their hearts,just to teach that child that a short,sharp shock equals a lesson....a spank is teaching you what to avoid.....then maybe i can entertain the idea until i've formed a strong conclusion,i don't know?To me it's wrong you see.
I just don't think you can protect enough children form the parents who can't exercise restraint.Kids would fall through a loophole,they would be hurt,
None of us want to see that.That's why this arena is so volatile.
How do you protect all participants in life?
I just think there are other ways.
Oh you get me wrong!
He's my EX.Very very very EX!
He has been left emotionally scarred by his childhood.He's had one failed relationship after another.
I don't think you can rule out his 'whoopings' in this,they must've had an effect.
If a parent can exercise restraint and spank a child with pure love in their hearts,just to teach that child that a short,sharp shock equals a lesson....a spank is teaching you what to avoid.....then maybe i can entertain the idea until i've formed a strong conclusion,i don't know?To me it's wrong you see.
I just don't think you can protect enough children form the parents who can't exercise restraint.Kids would fall through a loophole,they would be hurt,
None of us want to see that.That's why this arena is so volatile.
How do you protect all participants in life?
I just think there are other ways.
reply posted on 27-7-2009 @ 06:37 PM by TheAmused
reply to post by 2theC
you said
i have made it to three and the punishment is a severe grounding, but he also thinks i have the option to 'whoop' him. which i don't,
You allway's have a option to your the father or mother are you not?
Care to explain?
But you say You DON'T HAVE the option..
So are you saying your spouse forbids it?
or what?
You totally warped my mind there.
you said
i have made it to three and the punishment is a severe grounding, but he also thinks i have the option to 'whoop' him. which i don't,
You allway's have a option to your the father or mother are you not?
Care to explain?
But you say You DON'T HAVE the option..
So are you saying your spouse forbids it?
or what?
You totally warped my mind there.
reply posted on 27-7-2009 @ 06:41 PM by TheAmused
Originally posted by 6EQUJ5
reply to post by TheAmused
Did you even graduate from high school?
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi once said.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
love the thread flamer's with No way of adding to the subject other than flame.
Show's i hit a nerve Thank's.
reply posted on 27-7-2009 @ 06:43 PM by Tayesin
reply to post by TheAmused
I'm a single dad with one teenage daughter. It's been hell now for about 4 or 5 years, as she reached the point in life where I became a dumb, unknowing old dad .. apparently out of touch with reality... as she saw things.
I stopped smacking her by the time she was 10 years old because I felt she was now too big for smacking. So I tried every other avenue as proposed by Parenting Specialists. In the end I discovered that these specialists really have no idea what to do that will work with such strong-minded and self-centred kids.
From a young age children need security, and that security comes to them from one source.. YOU the parent, and you create the security by instilling boundaries for your children's behaviours. When they stray outside the boundary you put in place there MUST BE Consequences, or they will learn nothing of importance.
Consequences like the loss of a game console, computer, TV or other objects simply does not work. It is a useless approach because the kids forget it quickly in their instant-gratification reality.
Not only are parents disempowered in raising their children, they have had no rights to say what is suitable for them to watch on TV, listen to on the radio, see in magazines, on the internet, etc. And here we reach the main problem in generations over the past 20 or more years.
I know many parents will disagree with this, as they may set limits at home... but you do not know what your kids see or do when not at home. And I can bet you that they will be doing the same thing most of the kids in their culture are doing.
Here in Australia, we lost the right to punish our children as we see fit about 20 years ago when the bleeding hearts rose to power... and that my friends was the exact time things started to go astray here. Now a couple of quickly begotten generations later and there is NO RESPECT throughout the vast majority in my country.
Young parents who were raised without real consequences are simply allowing their kids to do whatever they want as long as it isn't upsetting the parent. So many kids are out late at night, doing what they want to do when they do not have the maturity to handle so much freedom.
Moreso, they believe the U.S. street mentality as shown in almost every music video, in most movies and TV shows aimed at their age groups.. they believe that this mentality is the right one for them.. where all girls are for satisfying guys, and guys are to be "soldiers". What we see here is feral behaviours, just as you see in other countries where this imported unreal-mentality is prevalent.
An example I found a couple of years back was with the two little darling twins of Hollywood who propose it is good for 10 year olds to dress like a 21 year old, that it's good to sneak out and go with boys at night and to LIE to your parents in order to get what you want when you want it... and these two girls have pushed this mentality now for quite a long time
Today's world is a modern Soddom and Gamorah (sp), and the vast majority of kids are racing into this cultural mentality without the ability to percveive the negatives.. as they are only focusing on what they believe are positives for them like... freedom to come and go whenever they want, freedom to live like a pig in their bedroom while you the parent have no rights to ask for cleanliness, freedom to speak to you how they want to, freedom to abuse you at will, when they feel that they are not getting what they wanted from you in that moment,etc.
There are no quick answers. All parents need to raise their sons and daughter in the exact same manner instead of separating what is suitable for one sex and not the other. If this was done then the communications barrier between the sexes will fall and kids will see others as equals.
I try to not let my daughter have all the freedoms she sees her friends with.. I do not let her walk the streets at night, I expect her boyfriend to come here and pick her up instead of meeting her at the mall, I expect her to use her mobile phone for the reasons I gave it to her.. to stay in touch with me when needed, I expect her to speak to me without yelling or being abusive and bitchy, and I expect total honesty from her although I know I get far less than that... fortunately for me I get a feeling of confusion when she is dishonest with me which lets me know she is lying.
Quote, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." This does not tell us to not smack our kids and to spoil them instead.. what it really says is this: If you do not provide consequences to actions you will spoil that person.. meaning spoil as in ruined!!
The old ways worked for along time. It is what instilled respect into children for their elders and all others. Now without that in our society we can see the results, and it will reach anarchy soon enough folks.
No respect for others means their is no respect for the self, and this can only be enforced from an early age, as it is far too late once they are teenagers to do anything with them other than to pick them up when they fall into the darkness and hope they try to stand straight and make good choices.
I'm a single dad with one teenage daughter. It's been hell now for about 4 or 5 years, as she reached the point in life where I became a dumb, unknowing old dad .. apparently out of touch with reality... as she saw things.
I stopped smacking her by the time she was 10 years old because I felt she was now too big for smacking. So I tried every other avenue as proposed by Parenting Specialists. In the end I discovered that these specialists really have no idea what to do that will work with such strong-minded and self-centred kids.
From a young age children need security, and that security comes to them from one source.. YOU the parent, and you create the security by instilling boundaries for your children's behaviours. When they stray outside the boundary you put in place there MUST BE Consequences, or they will learn nothing of importance.
Consequences like the loss of a game console, computer, TV or other objects simply does not work. It is a useless approach because the kids forget it quickly in their instant-gratification reality.
Not only are parents disempowered in raising their children, they have had no rights to say what is suitable for them to watch on TV, listen to on the radio, see in magazines, on the internet, etc. And here we reach the main problem in generations over the past 20 or more years.
I know many parents will disagree with this, as they may set limits at home... but you do not know what your kids see or do when not at home. And I can bet you that they will be doing the same thing most of the kids in their culture are doing.
Here in Australia, we lost the right to punish our children as we see fit about 20 years ago when the bleeding hearts rose to power... and that my friends was the exact time things started to go astray here. Now a couple of quickly begotten generations later and there is NO RESPECT throughout the vast majority in my country.
Young parents who were raised without real consequences are simply allowing their kids to do whatever they want as long as it isn't upsetting the parent. So many kids are out late at night, doing what they want to do when they do not have the maturity to handle so much freedom.
Moreso, they believe the U.S. street mentality as shown in almost every music video, in most movies and TV shows aimed at their age groups.. they believe that this mentality is the right one for them.. where all girls are for satisfying guys, and guys are to be "soldiers". What we see here is feral behaviours, just as you see in other countries where this imported unreal-mentality is prevalent.
An example I found a couple of years back was with the two little darling twins of Hollywood who propose it is good for 10 year olds to dress like a 21 year old, that it's good to sneak out and go with boys at night and to LIE to your parents in order to get what you want when you want it... and these two girls have pushed this mentality now for quite a long time
Today's world is a modern Soddom and Gamorah (sp), and the vast majority of kids are racing into this cultural mentality without the ability to percveive the negatives.. as they are only focusing on what they believe are positives for them like... freedom to come and go whenever they want, freedom to live like a pig in their bedroom while you the parent have no rights to ask for cleanliness, freedom to speak to you how they want to, freedom to abuse you at will, when they feel that they are not getting what they wanted from you in that moment,etc.
There are no quick answers. All parents need to raise their sons and daughter in the exact same manner instead of separating what is suitable for one sex and not the other. If this was done then the communications barrier between the sexes will fall and kids will see others as equals.
I try to not let my daughter have all the freedoms she sees her friends with.. I do not let her walk the streets at night, I expect her boyfriend to come here and pick her up instead of meeting her at the mall, I expect her to use her mobile phone for the reasons I gave it to her.. to stay in touch with me when needed, I expect her to speak to me without yelling or being abusive and bitchy, and I expect total honesty from her although I know I get far less than that... fortunately for me I get a feeling of confusion when she is dishonest with me which lets me know she is lying.
Quote, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." This does not tell us to not smack our kids and to spoil them instead.. what it really says is this: If you do not provide consequences to actions you will spoil that person.. meaning spoil as in ruined!!
The old ways worked for along time. It is what instilled respect into children for their elders and all others. Now without that in our society we can see the results, and it will reach anarchy soon enough folks.
No respect for others means their is no respect for the self, and this can only be enforced from an early age, as it is far too late once they are teenagers to do anything with them other than to pick them up when they fall into the darkness and hope they try to stand straight and make good choices.
reply posted on 27-7-2009 @ 06:56 PM by TheAmused
Originally posted by 6EQUJ5
reply to post by TheAmused
You're right, you win. Carry on with abusing your children.
And don't you forget it!!
Btw there is a 2 sentence policy here on ats.F.Y.I
It's not abuse man.
Whooping your child is not abuse.
I have every law in ever state in the united state ...saying it's my legal right as a parent to do as i deem Fit.
Do you know what law's are?
Or should i School you on that also?
So stop trolling on ats man....
You seem more like a GLP person.
one liner's got to love em.
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