reply to post by TheAmused
I don't agree with "whupping". I grew up with "whuppings", and the only thing it did was create fear and hate. I feared my dad, I did not
respect him, I hated him for his abuses.
I do not spank my children. They are loving, respectful, compassionate and highly intelligent as I have found ways to guide them and discipline them
that does not include physical violence.
IMO people who choose physical punishment for their children, are people who do not want to take the time to find other ways of working with their
children. It takes someone who is intelligent and actually wants to
teach their children real life values, real life ways of dealing with
conflict that does not include violence, and like it or not, physical punishment is violence.
I also agree that a parent who chooses physical punishment, is a lazy parent.
Originally posted by muzzleflash
My kid loved writing on the walls, and all of your new age hippy techniques NEVER PUT AN END TO IT!
How about
this... my youngest loved to draw on things as well, walls, tables, floor etc. He had to clean up his own messes, without my help,
then I bought him his own drawing books (artist sketch books) and gave him. We have many of them all over the house. I then, on his wall, painted a
chalk board which he was a part of creating. He as well has a marker board that wipes clean that is available to him to use in our main room. Since
I did these things, not once has he drawn on anything other than what he is allowed to draw on. Instead of telling him NO NO NO and spanking him, I
gave him appropriate places to draw on. DUH DUR!!
Give your children "choices". He then had the choice to draw on appropriate areas, or have the consequences of having all drawing utensils (pens,
pencils, crayons, markers etc.) locked away.
Not ONCE since we implemented these new items, has he drawn on anything else that he is not allowed to draw on. This was many years ago and has
worked wonderfully. And it was all done without spanking him.
Spanking children does not teach them to think for themselves, nor will you get true respect from your children, it teaches them fear and anger and
hate. I want to teach my children to think for themselves, and to have true respect for me thank you very much.
Someone earlier was talking about their child reaching for the stove multiple times, I agree that the swat on the hand was a good idea in the case of
the child being harmed.
But here is another idea that I used with both my children. I will use my daughter as she is my oldest in this
explanation. When she was about 1 she kept doing the same thing. After about her 4th try to grab the stove, I picked her up, I pointed to the stove
and said HOT HOT HOT OOOWWWIIIEEE. I then took a very small piece of paper, and put it on the burner. Of course it burned. My little one just
looked and looked, put her head on my shoulder and said owie. I nodded and said do not touch. She never touched the burner, I did not have to spank
her, and she did not have to get burned to learn the lesson that the stove could be dangerous.
About the electrical outlet issue, how about buying those protective covers? That is what I did, never ever had one issue with either of my children
trying to "electrocute" themselves. When they were old enough, I talked with them about how they could be electrocuted if they put something they
were not supposed to in them. Before that, they could not access the outlets.
Kailassa, that was funny, throwing a fit right along with your grand child. What made me laugh when I read that is I did the same thing with my son.
He was about 2ish? 3ish?, we were in the grocery store and he started throwing a fit, so I started throwing one with him. He stopped and looked at me
as if I had gone crazy. A few weeks later we were in the store again, and he started throwing a fit again, so I as well started throwing a fit. I
got down on the floor and stared banging my hands on the floor, crying and basically copying what he was doing. He stopped and just watched me.
After a moment, I stopped, grinned at him and asked "now that was lovely wasn't it?" and he shook his head no and said something along the lines
of "ugly". After that, he never threw another fit.
And for those who are saying children without discipline do not do well in school, I completely agree with that statement. BUT, I do not agree that
discipline=physical punishment.
And, Time Outs do work, if used correctly and immediately.
irishchic, threats do not work, if you use threats, they know you do not mean it. Threats do not work, discipline, without physical punishment does
work if done correctly.
Originally posted by Tayesin
... so what do you do then when they spit in your face, or tell you to F-Off, or any other worst behaviour scenario you can think of?
My youngest child, is hyperactive. I still do not use physical violence with him, nor do I use drugs with him.
I am positive that if I chose a different route with him, he would be one to "spit" in someones face. He is a strong personality, and has been
since the day he was born.
Because of the way I have raised him, he would never "spit" in someones face, and I do not use physical violence with him. Start young, discipline
them in a loving way, and they will not turn into "spitters".
Come on people, think, use the intelligence we have as humans.
Violence, begets violence.
Sigh.... and yes... I am "friends" with my children, but they know first and foremost.... I am their parent. Yes, they know that they can come and
talk with me about anything, and that yes we will sit around and laugh and giggle at nonsense and joke around, but they know that I am their parent
first and their friend second. Goodness, I am just blown away at people who do not understand that concept. I can do more than one thing at a time,
it is called using my brain.
Originally posted by Sheeple
reply to post by prevenge
Children who have never been hit in their lives still have the capacity to hit others - and are often the first to do so, as they have yet to learn
that how much hitting hurts, and have an overall lack of empathy about it, until the day someone DOES hit them back.
Excuse me? I don't hit my children, and they are far more compassionate and empathetic than children I know who's parent DO spank them. When my
youngest was little, very little, probably around one and a half if that old, he did as little ones will sometimes do, and reached over and smacked
me. Do you know what I did? I started "crying" and saying owie owie that hurt booo hoooo no hitting. Do you know what he did? HE started crying,
and gave me a BIG BIG hug saying sowwy sowwy mommy. He has never hit anyone again, and stands up to bullies at school protecting himself and others.
I did not have to hit him to teach him that hitting hurts, I used a moment in life that happens, to teach him. He remembered that lesson far more,
than if I had hit (spanked) him, and said no hitting.
Sorry pro spanking folks, I have a teenager, and I have no problems with her, and I don't spank. She is a great person, compassionate, empathetic,
highly intelligent, and I cannot come up with enough positive words to describe her. How did this happen? Not with violence that is for darn sure.
My children prove to me that love, meaning what you say, discipline that does not include physical punishment, apologizing to them when you make a
mistake, WORKS and works awesomely if used correctly.
It sincerely saddens me to see how many people feel that physically harming your children is the way to go.
Harm None
Peace
