You have every right in the world to whoop ya kid's..PLZ start I am sick of all the punk's

Wow, a lot of violent parents posting here. Is that consentful insanity, laziness or just simple ignorance?

You think it's a good idea to teach your kids how to inflict pain and suffering on those who are less physically powerful than them?

Those of us who prefer to think, will do our best to instill compassion and warmth into our children by example.

The world needs the latter, there's already an over-supply of the former.

Good luck. Not long now ...

Originally posted by Mclaneinc

When I was a kid if I gave my mum a bad mouthing I soon knew about it and it was never repeated, I wasn't beaten to a pulp but the smack HURT and the memory of that hurt made sure I didn't want another one, it taught me a word that's so miss used now ..RESPECT.

I get kids youths around here screaming about demanding RESPECT, I'm well known for standing my ground and I tell them that you earn respect, not the other way around.

I enjoyed your post but wanted to clear up the above ...

You seem to be saying that you earn respect by inflicting physical pain on someone who is less powerful than yourself. I find that quite strange. Are you sure you don't mean 'FEAR' instead of 'RESPECT' in your first reference to the word above?

[edit on 29/7/09 by RogerT]

I have to admit that I'm completely shocked at the amount of politically correct do-gooders present in this thread!

I firmly believe and support John Matrix & TheAmused.

Here’s my take on the situation:

Firstly, can we stop likening a slap on the behind or on the back of the hand to a full out savage assault? No one in this thread has suggested seriously harming a child (well they hadn't up to page 12 anyways, I haven't read anymore!)

Secondly whether a parent wants to smack their children or not, there is no right or wrong it’s that persons’ choice.

I see nothing wrong with smacking a child on the bottom when it’s done something wrong and I definitely don't see a problem with it when it’s being used for positive reinforcement i.e. avoiding touching a hot fire etc

Children/kids need to learn respect and although I don't know whether John Matrix is entirely correct, I do agree that the earlier the better. If you make a good job of teaching a child respect when it’s still quite young then hopefully that child will be easier to deal with as they become older.

Could the do-gooder also stop likening smacking a child to another adult hitting you because they disagreed with something you did or said?

Children need to learn as they grow up, your not smacking them because you disagree with what their doing. You’re smacking them because what they are doing is wrong and you’re trying to teach them to be a good person.

It’s got nothing to do with not liking what your child is doing. You don’t smack your kid on its bum after you’ve got him/her trying to stick car keys into a socket because you disagree with it.

You do it because that child could kill itself and obviously as a loving parent you don’t want this to happen, you also want your child to have learnt that it’s dangerous to stick keys in plug sockets so it won’t happen in the future.

I agree that as a parent you should explain to a child the reasons for you actions.

But I see nothing wrong with re-affirming this with a slap on the wrist or the bum.

This is how I was brought up and I have no problems what so ever.

Whoever suggested smacking your kids will make them more likely to be violent later on in life is simply talking non-sense!

I was smacked as a child as were all my friends and I can’t name a problem with any of them that could be attributed to them being smacked as a kid.

To the poster that said they tickle their child when they’ve done something wrong:

If that works for you then fair enough but I really can’t see how the “threat” of being tickled is severe enough to put your child off whatever it is they were doing that they shouldn’t of been.

As I have said people need to get off their high horses, no one is encouraging violence against children. You do-gooders make it sound like we think its right to batter our kids black and blue if they do something we don’t like, get a grip!

In the UK, as someone has already mentioned, the local cop would give you a hiding if they caught you doing something wrong.

Speaking to everyone that this happened too, they all tell me the same thing; they never did what they were doing wrong again.

Lastly, you know what’s funny? Before the world went PC crazy I’d never really heard about people having qualms about disciplining their kids. Sure, some people have problems with it and others opposed to it but it wasn’t the massive topic it is today.

Sort of like the smoking ban, before that was introduced non-smokers very, very rarely complained being in the presence of a smoker. Now every one and his dog moans at you, anyways that’s for a different thread.

Oh and for the record, while I’ll accept parents smacking their kids, I don’t think school teachers or others should have that ability. It’s a parent’s job to discipline their child and I wouldn’t be happy with the idea that another adult is smacking my kid.

[edit on 29/7/09 by Death_Kron]

Originally posted by Sheeple
reply to post by prevenge

 

You can't be serious, can you? Children who have never been hit in their lives still have the capacity to hit others - and are often the first to do so, as they have yet to learn that how much hitting hurts, and have an overall lack of empathy about it, until the day someone DOES hit them back. You want a society of little sociopaths lacking empathy for the pain of others - go for it and have fun in your little dream world.

Dear Sheeple,

Unfortunately people who grew up with the "force of the hand" how much they hated it and how much it HUMILIATED them, they are so much prone to doing exactly the same to their kids. People who got crap usually pass it on not to do perp but to others. Particularly of they can't defned themselves. What a nice world we live in. Rules of the jungle.

I just read about it on Yahoo, don't have the link.

Queen of Reason

reply to post by QueenofWeird


There's a big difference between smacking a naughty childs bum and abusing that child with physical violence. I think your confusing the two...

I was brought up being smacked when I'd done something wrong but I have no intention of beating the crap out of my kids when they have done something wrong.

Forgot to mention "the force of the hand" to me suggests parents that are excessively violent and will beat/smack/slap their kids for the slightest wrong doing.

It doesn't, in my opinion, mean giving your kid a little slap on the bum because its reaching into a open fire place.

[edit on 29/7/09 by Death_Kron]

reply to post by TheAmused


Sorry I don't do GOD. Of course a tiny slap is nothing to worry about. As I said it easily deteriorates in real nasty violance. Disrespect just because the kid can't kill you, yet.

When I was 17 I met my friend's boyfriend of 19. A strong and big boy. This is what he told me. His father used to hit him just because. One day he hit the crap out of good ole dad. The man never laid a hand on him.

This whole parents are god is nothing more than law of the jungle. Today you eat, tomorrow you are eaten. You reap what you sow and you sow what you reap.

Originally posted by stovsa
I am currently teaching year 7 and 8 music at a few different high schools in Australia. Let me just say I starred and flagged this thread purely because of the thread title. Please people discipline your kids thoroughly, maybe it's just that I cant remember how horrible I actually was in school or its the fact that kids today really are getting more nastier but I tell you, my job can be a nightmare at times!
Even though I teach a subject based on the arts with a lot of hands on practical work, listening, analyzing and research (all on topics they can choose), a lot of these young kids just CANNOT find anything to appreciate in music. It baffles me! The language, talk back and downright hostility I get just astounds me, and I'm a young 25 yo teacher, not some over the hill old nugget! I had a talk with my father this afternoon about the days when teachers could use the cain to punish unruly students. Let me just say it instantly brought a smile to my face! Boy I'd hit em good!

I feel sorry for you if you are a public school teacher these days, though I respect you immensely. I have spent a few days in public school rooms recently, and by the time the teacher finally has the kids settled down enough to try to teach them something, the bell rings. It is exasperating.

My sister became a teacher about 10 years ago. She started in a predominately white school, and had the experience you speak of. But when she tried to get with the parents to get them to control the kids, the parents refused to believe that their little johnny or susie were a problem. Then, when the kids would go home with low grades on their report cards, these same parents would raise holy hell about it. It was a no win situation.

She transferred to a predominately black school where no one cares either way what happens; the administrators don't care, the parents don't care, the students don't care. There is an unwritten rule though that you are to pass the students to the next grade. It is just a hangout for the day for everyone.



[edit on 29-7-2009 by Bombeni]

reply to post by Death_Kron



Thank you.

Some kids never need an ounce of discipline; I have a neice, now grown woman, who never talked back or got out of line once in her life, that anyone knows about. Her brother though was a little demon. You discipline your children that need it to teach them about authority. They will have to respect authority all their lives and if they don't learn it from the parent, the justice system is forced to take the job on.

reply to post by Bombeni


My pleasure, and you are entirely correct.

It was the same when I was growing up, I was a nightmare where as my younger brother was never in trouble.

All throughout our childhood's I dont think my brother was smacked even once, there was simply no need to because he was a good kid.

I on the other hand needed a smack and a firm telling off now and again and its obviously worked.

I believe I'm a nice, caring person who respects other people and their opinions and I'm certainly not some sort of repressed psychopath who wants to beat kids or hurt people.

Originally posted by Death_Kron

Whoever suggested smacking your kids will make them more likely to be violent later on in life is simply talking non-sense!

I was smacked as a child as were all my friends and I can’t name a problem with any of them that could be attributed to them being smacked as a kid.

Yet your entire post refers to your own tendency towards using violence on your children.

As I have said people need to get off their high horses, no one is encouraging violence against children.

Your entire post encourages violence against children.

You know what, I'm with you OP! When I was a kid and I stepped out of line I got my BUTT Whooped and I am a better person because of it no matter which way you shake it!

People cant forget that a spanking and a good soap mouth washing are methods that have been used a lot longer than the whole let my kids walk all over me persona!

reply to post by RogerT


No! This post is about disciplining your children he is not encouraging you to beat them senseless. There is a difference between a butt spank and a good beating. The latter being actual abuse!

Originally posted by DaMod
reply to post by RogerT

 

No! This post is about disciplining your children he is not encouraging you to beat them senseless. There is a difference between a butt spank and a good beating. The latter being actual abuse!

I don't recognise any of my words in your post. I referred to violence, as did the poster.

Are you trying to delude yourself into believing that striking another person (child or adult), with the intent to cause physical or emotional pain, is not an act of violence?

edit:

Resorting to violence is merely an expression of mental insanity. It is especially obvious when the violence is towards a defenseless child.

[edit on 29/7/09 by RogerT]

Originally posted by RogerT

Originally posted by DaMod
reply to post by RogerT

 

No! This post is about disciplining your children he is not encouraging you to beat them senseless. There is a difference between a butt spank and a good beating. The latter being actual abuse!

I don't recognise any of my words in your post. I referred to violence, as did the poster.

Are you trying to delude yourself into believing that striking another person (child or adult), with the intent to cause physical or emotional pain, is not an act of violence?

Sure, but in this particular case violence does not beget violence. I don't think this method of discipline should be used for everything. A simple time out will do, but if it is something really really bad then yes a good couple swats should do it. I got the belt once as a child, and by god I never did anything to deserve it again!

Not even as a teenager!

[edit on 29-7-2009 by DaMod]

Originally posted by DaMod

Originally posted by RogerT

Originally posted by DaMod
reply to post by RogerT

 

No! This post is about disciplining your children he is not encouraging you to beat them senseless. There is a difference between a butt spank and a good beating. The latter being actual abuse!

I don't recognise any of my words in your post. I referred to violence, as did the poster.

Are you trying to delude yourself into believing that striking another person (child or adult), with the intent to cause physical or emotional pain, is not an act of violence?

Sure, but in this particular case violence does not beget violence. I don't think this method of discipline should be used for everything. A simple time out will do, but if it is something really really bad then yes a good couple swats should do it. I got the belt once as a child, and by god I never did anything to deserve it again!

Thank you.

How many of you, who got whopped on your backside as brats, are serial killers or violent today?

Ted Bundy never got an ass-whoopin, too too bad.

reply to post by Bombeni


Actually I think that being disciplined as a child makes you a more respectful person. Those that could do whatever they want turn out to be brats their whole lives.



I am not promoting the use of a paddle, more a reminder of the days of yore.

[edit on 29-7-2009 by DaMod]

reply to post by Bombeni


I don't know why we cannot see the middle ground sometimes. I don't believe anybody here does not want to be a "parent," a guiding force in their child's lives. I don't think they just want to be a "friend" in the sense of letting them run free in chaos.

We are divided on the different forms of discipline we choose to use. Discipline is just a way, a path, to guide someone to a desired destination. A parent can lead (disciple) through BEING the example, the ideal. A mom or dad can disciple through explanation, a loving, honest, empathetic explanation. This is all done with an idea of the current mental/spiritual/intellectual understanding of the child being led and talked to. This is all done with clear boundaries of what is unacceptable.

Of course, the child will not always respond exactly as you'd hoped. If the child is unwilling to "see the light," then consequences are predictably enforced, with consistency each and every time. You can enforce consequences and communicate love simultaneously. I am not saying that a child will necessarily see your love at the time, but the seeds will be planted for them to be aware of your love in their quiet moments.

This all builds a level of respect. Respect is literally seeing the others perspective, nothing more, nothing less. Through seeing the child's perspective, love follows. Love is a connection. You see, if your kid is respecting you, seeing your perspective, then your perspective becomes a part of them. You become more and more manifestly entangled. The love is very real.

Children act out desiring a response from you. When you understand their underpinnings because you really love them, and you don't simply love the vain aspects of being a parent, as sort of an identity crutch (I am a mommy! I am a daddy!), then you get a quite clear view of how to properly guide them out of whatever loop they are stuck in, through loving detachment of observation and reflection.

I am amazed, sometimes, when people in general (not anybody specific in this thread) are so deprived of intuitive faculties that they cannot see much of anything in nuance. There just seems to me to be such this endless, mindless, appeal to authority, entangled with the element of fear, that we cannot see the forest beyond the trees. I am not telling anybody what to do. I am just sharing the viewpoint that is honestly mine.

Edit: This is not directly related to this thread, but it is related to my post and thought process on interconnectivity. I think society as a whole is coming to an understanding of the need for nuance and the ever-present connections, the ties that bind. I think it is reflected by women's fast rise in society, even though some use their intuition for manipulation, LOL, but of course other times use their intuition to bridge gaps and move into unseen territory.

Let's face it, the ruling authority in this world has defined itself by what it is not, not by any sort of understanding of what it, in fact, IS. This has led to stronger and stronger egos with smaller and smaller viewpoints. It reduces us to an animal state of warfare and no perspective. No perspective forces us to follow the path which we are programmed to follow, whether or not it happens to be good for us, or anybody else for that matter. No perspective offers no flexibility in life's crossroad's. It leads us to an ultimate destination. The question is, "What is that destination?"

[edit on 29-7-2009 by orwellianunenlightenment]

[edit on 29-7-2009 by orwellianunenlightenment]

I agree with you OP, but people turn to crap once they become a tyrant.

Your family can live by the sword, or they can live by the heart.

A lot of fathers discover that after years of the threat - and use - of violence, their family is viewed as fine by the outside world, but home is a pretty cold place.

In fact to think of my future son in law organizing his family around the idea of everyone having to tip-toe around him makes me a bit sick.


It stops being "discipline" and starts becoming a constant round of everyone being worried that the old man might explode, which he does seeing how everyone is afraid of him, and simply because he can.

Boss criticizes him at work?

Comes home and sees the washing up not done: time to go off his head.


Another problem with whoopins: you teach your son how to LOSE a fight.
Not a good skill.

reply to post by [davinci]


We still have people living by the "old way". Punishing their kids for every little mistake. The population is growing and so does the need for more well paying jobs. Most of us humans have to work hard for that minimum wage. The society is pretty much screwed. There's so much intolerance that many children go through hell in their childhood. Many are just lazy and end up being "failures of the educational system". They can't keep a job and some of them end up taking the easy way out and rob a bank or a store and then go to prison. Many abuse the system and actually enjoy staying in prison. The food is pretty much free and they have a roof above their head.
I have a good example of two children, a brother and a sister. They were treated equally during their childhood. Both got punished for misbehaving. Their father used a belt sometimes.. The boy was a normal boy and the girl was a normal girl. The boy started smoking when he was 13.. And drinking a few years later. The girl stayed away from both. Right now the boy is 18 years old and has a debt of approximately 5000 USD (Converted from our local currency). The girl is 19 and just finished a vocational school, has a driver's licence, doesn't drink or smoke and works in travel industry.
These two weren't affected by the punishing. They were affected by their friends.

reply to post by undermind


There is a huge difference between discipline and fear mongering. If your 12 year old decides to steal your car, spank them! If they are rude and blatantly disrespectful to others spank them! Honestly, I was a hellion as a child. If I where not spanked and disciplined I would be some mindless drug doing miscreant. To me the actions of my family prevented my demise, and protected me from myself.

I know of kids that are fed with a silver spoon, and they have no respect for anyone. There are some children that where raised by a nanny and hardly ever saw their parents. Is that more loving?

There is a huge difference between discipline and abuse. I am not sure why people think they go hand and hand! You don't beat your child that is wrong, but a good spanking is not wrong.