Originally posted by Ohio_Ron
Beating a child is nothing like giving them an old fashion spanking on the butt! you people need to get your priorities straight!

which people???

i think the people here in opposition to your comments are well in control of their children and raising them very well.

don't make blanket statements about people who are actually finding ways to deal with their children without violence. not fair, bad sport.

Originally posted by 2theC

Originally posted by Ohio_Ron
Beating a child is nothing like giving them an old fashion spanking on the butt! you people need to get your priorities straight!

don't make blanket statements about people who are actually finding ways to deal with their children without violence. not fair, bad sport.

Please don't think that your case is the norm....because it's not! Realize that there are 150 million other families that don't fall into your category. I don't disregard the fact that some parents can keep their children from tom-foolery, but in the same breathe, alot of families do need to spank their kids for the same reasons that you only need to speak some words...a fact of life.

I had a father in law that was quick to hit. He even tried it with me before I married his daughter. He was a cowboy, housing contractor, but lacked imagination. He didn't want to take the time to figure out a psychological method to get a result. I don't think he knew what that was. However, swinging a hammer made him strong, and he had big fists. He was also a boxer in the Navy. Well, no matter what the problem, he solved it with his fists. He especially liked bar fights. He was a great guy, most of the time, but you didn't cross him. He knocked out my fiancee two days before our wedding because she was talking back to her mom. Well, that's one way to start off a family...

My dad was somewhat different. He was born in 1895, and was the son of a Baptist minister/wheat farmer. He didn't spend much time on kids. He was usually with his friends at the garage or the bar. He used spanking as a last resort if he was put up to it by mom. I don't think I had more than two spankings in my youth. He usually spend some time teaching right and wrong.

Of the two dads, I like mine better, but I can understand that there are those who just don't have the imagination to use psychology. Neither family produced child beaters. Both dads were alcoholics/smokers.

[edit on 27-7-2009 by Jim Scott]

first there is no "literature" that can tell you how to raise a particular kid. we were all different and different things work differently for each. me for instance, i got a spanking all the time, maybe one a day from the time i was 4 to when i was atleast 15. for things ranging from digging up turtle eggs and crushing them to telling adults i dont give a s$#& what they think. my first spanking came when i abused my newborn brother when i was just 4 years old, and i remember it to this day. for me i was pretty much a bad kid as far as behavior, but, i knew where the line was as far as real trouble. some of my other friends whos parents smoked weed with them, and "talked" to them, and let them do grownup things, they crossed the line daily and caused trouble in a way that was different from me. you see i did things like throw rocks at mailboxes, they abused handicap kids mentally and physically, they were very racist towards others and they knew nothing would happen to them at home. i remember being in inschool suspension for throwing food at lunch and a kid was making fun of a speaker at black history month, and i was in the room when the teacher called his dad, who was "cool", and he told the teacher he would talk with him. i asked the kid the next day what happened to him that night because i got in deep trouble, he said is dad isnt worried about stuff like that because he is busy making him responsible and teaching him how to balance a check book, and so on.

for me spankings worked because i didnt just get spanked, i got timeout, things taken away, no spending the night with friends, no ninetendo, everytime i did wrong. yes i still did wrong but about the time i was turning 18, going out on my own to the beach with friends with the freedom to do whatever we want i found myself respecting people older than me for the fact that they have lived and experienced things beyond my current level and i needed to treat them accordingly. meaning opening the door for ladies and people with babies, saying thank you to store clerks, treating my parents friends with respect. other people my age i grew up with whos parents were more about talking and timeout, these dudes and girls disrespect people like their own parents, cuss around people with kids, in very public places. they only have respect for making money and adults who go out and drink remy martin, dont have kids, and they certainly have no respect for authority figures. these are the kids whos parents said "if you get drunk at the party call me, im your friend, i will come pick you up", and yes its good for you to do that but my dad said, "if you drink or do drugs i will turn you into the cops myself, then beat your behind". when i was young i thought sometimes that those parents were cool, and now i see the relationship they have with their kids and its nothing like mine.

now i am a young father of two. a two year old little girl, and a two month old little boy and i have said and done things i would have never thought because it was exactly the same things as my parents did and like an epiphany i understood what they always meant when they said "i will see when i have kids". i spanked my daughter for the first time a week ago when she hit her baby brother on the head with a ball from the mcdonalds ballpit because he was getting attention. so i smacked her hand and looked her in the eye and told her she has to be nice to her brother because he loves her and she needs to protect him, and that they are both my babies. my wife breastfeeds so she spends alot of time with the baby on her and my daughter still gets jelous but them her and I play tea party and watch noggin and we do things together so she knows she gets my attention too. she helps bring his diapers and helps us give him a bath and anything we can do to involve her so she wont feel left out or second best. but she has not tried to even think about hitting him so far. i know it only gets harder though.

Originally posted by maus80
I don't have kids, and I know how to raise them! *ahem*

You can teach them most of the lessons they need while they are still toddlers, and the lessons do stick. It's lazy passive parents waiting until they can't ignore problems that have to deal with a lot of them.

That's true of a lot of things, but toddlers don't have the capacity to understand some things, and when they are older other lessons need to be taught and some old lessons have to be revisited because things get a lot more complicated as you get older. Don't have to be violent about it, but to say that you can teach a child what he needs to learn about civil behavior for life (it sticks?) while he is a toddler is a stretch, at best.

"You spank them when they do something stupid/wrong that could hurt them or someone else - then they associate that action with the consequence of pain.

For everything else, you use consistent consequences and positive reinforcement. They are rewarded for good behavior, punished for bad."

I agree, but there are times when the child reaches for the remote over and over and over and all your punishments and threats and timeouts just make the kid more determined to "win", and a slap to the hand (a last resort) is what fixes that.

Didn't clean your room? Well pack up your stuff and you can earn it back a piece at a time. Second it hits the floor, back to packed away.

Not sure this would be practical for a single parent that works two jobs and is so dang tired he or she has to pick something other than "packing up the room". Not violence, but something. And don't give me that "lazy parent" stuff either - until you are one in this position I suggest you refrain from judging what's lazy and what isn't.

Cleaned your room without having to be asked? Looks like you made plenty of room for something from the local thrift stores. Amazing how much letting a kid earn a little money and spend it encourages them to be proactive and self-aware.

Can't disagree, except to say that there are times we are all expected to do things because we have to. Some times the reward is a job well done. After all, we don't all have the cash to spend on toys, even thrifty ones. Kids can't always expect a pot 'o gold at the end of the rainbow, and the sooner they learn that the better.

Did something that made you really, really mad? Pretend to cry, act very sad. Not that hard to teach kids empathy, chances are they will try to comfort you from the first time you try it, and once again encourages them to be proactive and self-aware.

Try living that out and get back to us.

Throws a HUGE fit in public? Back away slowly, let them do their thing. Kicking, screaming, and stomping is a healthy, passive way for kids to vent their emotions. Once they are done point out to them they what they did was silly, and didn't get them what they wanted.

You are so wrong I can't even believe it. Hey, you can have your opinion, that's fine, and I can have mine. You. Are. Wrong. The only logical choice is to take them out of the situation. This prevents the child from hurting itself, prevents embarrassment for you and mostly it respects the people around you.

Says please please please can I have it please? Give in once in a while, teach them they can get what they want sometimes with sweetness, but never with anger or force.

Things like that. It's really not hard to figure out the right things to do, what is hard is to be consistent and never sway, so as not to teach kids how to be manipulative or blase.

Not every child is the same. It is hard to be a parent I agree, but knowing the right thing is hard sometimes, when one thing works for one kid but not another.

When kids are brats/punks, I'm sure it's more often than not from lazy parenting - not being too soft on kids, but from being too disconnected in general.

Disconnection will create punks, as will giving in to them, treating them like friends, being too soft, beating them too much and too hard, and a host of other external and internal factors.

A good slap on the hand or smack on the butt never killed or maimed or scarred anyone. It amazes me what people actually think are good parenting techniques. I am a dad, not a friend. I am better than a friend. I will (hopefully) be the one to teach my son how to be a responsible, woman respecting, generous man. Not a punk, a jailbird, a fearful shell, or any other of those things.

huggs everyone,,,

I think a little spanking can be good,,,,

I was kinda hyper and a handfull when I was little,,,

I once playdoo'd up a bunch of keyholes in the apt complex and did some damge when I had a magnafying glass,,,

yep,,I got a little spanking,,,,i dont think it much,,,lol...

some kids probly need them,,,,,

all kids are different and parenting tactics,,,,


smile

I am having trouble finding it but there is a Stone Tablet that was found by Archeologists that is estimated to be dated from 2,000 B.C. That is over 4,000 years ago!

The tablet talks about a man who is having trouble with his family.

Namely his two teenage daughters who will not listen to him the Father!

It goes on to discuss how the daughters want to dress in a way that the father finds to be the garb of a whore and the daughters are out chasing the boys.

The father is distraught because his daughters will not listen to him. Here we are 4,000 years later and guess what, TEENAGERS ARE STILL THE FREAKING SAME!

If you beat someone long enough, they will tell you they started the damn Chicago fire, now that don't necessarily make it freaking so!

Where is the line drawn for how much pain you can inflict on a kid? Can you lightly smack them on the behind? Can you smack them more than one time? Ten Times? 20, 50, 100 times?

Can you smack a kid with a belt? 1 time? 10, 20, 50, 100 times?

Can you pop a kid in the mouth if the smart off to you? Pop them one time in the mouth? 5 times? 10, 20, 50, 100 times? If they keep mouthing off are you going to continue to hit them?

Boys become Men and Girls become Women. Some will not be as forgiving about physical pain against them when they are unable to inflict it back. They will eventually grow up. Do not be surprised if they pay you a visit one day. To.....return the favor.

I am fortunate to have been raised by a Mother and Father who have been married for 40 years and never once laid a hand on me. Never once. They are smart though. They would hit me where it really hurt. Being grounded and prevented from going outside at night to play jailbreak. Not being allowed to go ride bikes. No Nintendo. No Cartoons. No toy if we went shopping. No baseball cards. Early Bedtime.

And the worst possible punishment that you could ever inflict on a child.
NO DESSERT! How evil they were.

But never once did they ever lay a hand on me. I am very thankful for that.

Originally posted by aorAki

Originally posted by jfj123


You parents who refuse to discipline your children are to blame for their poor, anti-social, destructive behavior and frankly if you're not going to raise them, why have them in the first place?

So,wait, are you saying that because I don't smack/pat/whoop/abuse my kids I'm not disciplining them?

I'm saying that taking away little billy's game boy doesn't work all the time and negative re-enforcement MAY, I repeat MAY be necessary from time to time. Did I say you should abuse your child ? NO I DID NOT.
But when kids completely disrespect people for no reason other then they are spoiled, self centered little brats, some times a swat is enough to wake their @sses up !

I'm sorry, I fail to see the logic here.

Then you're just not trying.
Little billy doesn't care if you reduce his internet time to 2 hours instead of 6 per night or reduce his cable tv time from 5 hours to 2 hours...he can just tivo the programs he like

There are plenty of non-violent methods for disciplining children with the result that they are respectful, courteous, polite, and yet still children, not automatons.

Really? Then why are there so many kids being raised so poorly? All I'm saying is that a good butt swat is appropriate AT TIMES. I'm not suggesting beating little billy with a 2" x 4".

Originally posted by die_another_day
White people beat your kids, you don't want that little white kid to feel left out do ya?

I sometimes wonder if the parents are the ones who should be beaten. The children are just victims of their parents stupidity !

When I was a kid, I always choose getting whipped over all other forms of punishment. It hurt, I didn't like it, but when given the choice it was better than being grounded and so forth. It was over the fastest is the way I looked at it, and was the better punishment.

And I got whipped with switches that would leave marks like crazy, had my dad's name whelped up across my rear a few times and so forth. It was still the lesser punishment for me.

Even in school I choose the same punishments. Paddle me. Each and every time. They always gave us a choice, be paddled, be suspended or write sentences. I'll take that paddling please.

IMO, the suitable punishment depends on the situation. Sometimes a good talking to is in order, other times a good whooping is in order. Depends on the kid and the situation. When your kids refuse to listen or care what you have to say, then talking to them doesn't do much good. And so at times like that, you need to get their attention. When they openly defy you, and you don't bring out the belt, then you are not doing your job as a parent. It's not done to hurt, it's done for their own benefit. If your lucky, then it will never come to that - but you'd not have gotten anywhere with me when I was a kid.

Plus, alot of it is getting your bluff in. Then you don't really have to whip, the threat of it is plenty.

Originally posted by 2theC

Originally posted by Ohio_Ron
Beating a child is nothing like giving them an old fashion spanking on the butt! you people need to get your priorities straight!

which people???

i think the people here in opposition to your comments are well in control of their children and raising them very well.

don't make blanket statements about people who are actually finding ways to deal with their children without violence. not fair, bad sport.

If your way works so well, how come more children then ever are causing problems ?????

Originally posted by jfj123

Originally posted by die_another_day
I sometimes wonder if the parents are the ones who should be beaten. The children are just victims of their parents stupidity !

That could very well be. When you raise a child, the child is watching you.

You can call it a "spanking", but attacking you're kid, which is what is is, is the sign of a weak mind.

So, those who are for spanking, can I do the same to my Wife, or at the least, my dog?

If you can't figure out a better way to control the behavior of a child, then you are the one that needs to be on medication and not the kid.

Really, you have respect for a cop that beats you down for some minor offense? Like talking back?

Take away their freedom, ground them , take TV or games away, take away their books, whatever it is they REALLY want.

Don't be so simple minded. Please