It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Self Esteem

page: 1
4
<<   2 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 01:33 AM
link   
Self Esteem, what is the balance between low self esteem and a normal healthy self esteem? Whilst it seems some people are overly confident, it may be of benefit in reaching their goals and/or haveing the strength to take "Great Strides" in life. Where as the person with low self esteem is limited and in cases thus becomes an "Emotional Cripple". Given that childhood upbringing and the accumuliative experiences that a crucial towards a child's early development, can be in some child's circumstances very seriously traumatised, and can damage the individual's self esteem throughout their entire life. Is there any cure for Low Self Esteem? Does Therapy really help? How hard is it to Believe In Yourself?
Your thought provoking answers and ideas would be well appreciated...



[edit on 26-7-2009 by catalyst2466]




posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 02:23 AM
link   
The only cure to low selfsteem, i believe, is success. Most people who suffer from low selfsteem have not accomplished any of their goals or feel they always fall short next to other people. Instead of comparing themselves with others, they should look at themselves and find out why it is they don't succeed. After finding the problem, they should keep trying to accomplish their goals. I had a few friends who had low selfsteem, with many of them being borderline suicidal. what they needed was to feel that they were not complete failures and that they, too, can accomplish their goals if they try hard enough.
sometimes, however, low self-steem is the result of childhood problems. in that case the best way to improve a person's outlook on life is to become their friend and show them that they too are useful individuals, with their own weaknesses and strengths. Basically, once a person accepts who they really are and improve their strengths and make their weaknesses into strengths, low self-steem becomes a non-issue.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 02:27 AM
link   
I have never been one with high self esteem. It's been pretty low most of my life I can remember. But, I will say that it can be raised. Some therapy works for some people. Hynosis for others. And for some, they simply say to themselves "I will not be worthless. I cannot be". It is all a matter of what works for you and how strong your will is.

People fail to realize that every human has an innate ability that they can specialize in that alot of others will not. Life experiences may or may not cause high/low self esteem, but those life experiences are also what can teach us to be the unique individual who changes the community for the better. I believe that experience has alot to do with esteem but do not believe it is the main reason for high/low esteem.

Most people with overly high self esteem need to realize exactly the same thing that people with low self esteem need to realize. And that is they are unique and neither better nor worse than any other human alive.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 02:34 AM
link   
reply to post by newworld
 


Good points here, you sound to me that you have a sound mind and a healthy self esteem. ...but the point still lingers that the one's with "childhood issues" are still a problem, I agree giving support etc; but that is my point I made above- there is a :"Damaged Soul"- & nothing to do with comparing they will always feel frail.
"Accepting who they are"- is the Irony they "desperately face"...

-By the way... Your Avatar message really brings out the Irony in all of this....

[edit on 26-7-2009 by catalyst2466]



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 02:34 AM
link   
I know nothing, but I would NEVER go to a therapist.

Nope, not a gonna do it. I've seen Century of Self. Enough said.

Define normal healthy self esteem. I doubt I score high on the self esteem scale but I'm no emotional cripple.

I "believe in myself", but I'm also not going to try and tell you how damned great I am. I'm not. I just am I and that's all. I don't want to be a leader, make more money than God or some crap like that. I'd rather just have a small niche to grow food, maybe make some music and live my days out in peace. Fat chance of that happening.

I'm tired and not sure if I'm on topic or not. I'll post it anyway, see if it makes any sense in the morning.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 02:44 AM
link   
reply to post by Mr. Toodles
 


I think you raised very good points here -especially that we are all unique regarding the cost of low or high self esteem. Though once again I feel that there is something amiss- this is a mental health issue- and some people just cannot seem to dismiss their "mental thoughts" -and "Haunts"-just like it is well described as "their demons"/It is a major fact that Low Self Esteem is a Prime Factor of depression. There is just something that is "broken within that person's psyche".

[edit on 26-7-2009 by catalyst2466]



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 02:51 AM
link   

Originally posted by TheLoony
I know nothing, but I would NEVER go to a therapist.

Nope, not a gonna do it. I've seen Century of Self. Enough said.

Define normal healthy self esteem. I doubt I score high on the self esteem scale but I'm no emotional cripple.

I "believe in myself", but I'm also not going to try and tell you how damned great I am. I'm not. I just am I and that's all. I don't want to be a leader, make more money than God or some crap like that. I'd rather just have a small niche to grow food, maybe make some music and live my days out in peace. Fat chance of that happening.

I'm tired and not sure if I'm on topic or not. I'll post it anyway, see if it makes any sense in the morning.


"Sounds good an God-Like to me"- I would rather do this myself- do away with "comsumerism" & "materialism" -greed and the like- I do believe that this decadent era creates Depression and Low Self Esteem.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 03:01 AM
link   
reply to post by catalyst2466
 


Imo, low self esteem is just as egotistical and self absorbed as overblown self esteem.

After all, who is anyone to judge their own value or lack thereof, and it's a handy way to play the victim with "i'm not worthy" while secretly enjoying some form of payoff or self righteousness.

It's a technique for avoiding domination I think. People with low self esteem most certainly had a domineering parental figure, or worse a competitive parental figure who squashed and stepped on the childs gifts and talents.

I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad here, but it's a sin, given that the individual is of incaculable value.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 03:11 AM
link   
after i was diagnosed with cancer in my early 20's my self esteem plumitted. I felt ugly, weak and had lost all my confidence. I used to be very confident in my appearence, but after chemo radiotherapy and steroid treatment, i put on 3 stone and lost all my hair. It took me a lot of counseling to come to terms with things and to try and understand the reactions of those around me.

The counseling was amazing, really helped and now Ive lost the weight and my hairs grown back i feel like me again, but being what i thought was ugly gave me a good experience to how peoples reactions to you depend on how you look.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 03:15 AM
link   

Originally posted by OmegaPoint
reply to post by catalyst2466
 


Imo, low self esteem is just as egotistical and self absorbed as overblown self esteem.

After all, who is anyone to judge their own value or lack thereof, and it's a handy way to play the victim with "i'm not worthy" while secretly enjoying some form of payoff or self righteousness.

It's a technique for avoiding domination I think. People with low self esteem most certainly had a domineering parental figure, or worse a competitive parental figure who squashed and stepped on the childs gifts and talents.

I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad here, but it's a sin, given that the individual is of incaculable value.


Wow!!! I think I was waiting for this one. That is the part of being "egotistical". -I do believe that some may be this way- but for the "Real" -"Cripples"- No not at all. If you look into Psychology/Psychiatry- this is a serious case of someone with a frail and lost sense of identity- nothing at all to Do with Ego- Quite the opposite lower End of the scale. -Other stuff you say about Parental Guidence is true but not the primary "truth" that I am majorly discussing here...



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 03:23 AM
link   
reply to post by woodwardjnr
 


This is very interesting- I'm glad you well recovered both your physical & mental health & esteem. though this is what I would term a "Situational-Crisis"- in which you well recovered. thankyou for sharing.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 03:28 AM
link   
I guess all I was suggesting is that a really low and fragile ego, is still highly self absorbed and is a type of ego in and of itself. I know a girl with low self esteem, who's mother was not the best let's say, and in her low self esteem, she is totally self absorbed - everything is about how others think of her, what they do to wrong her, etc etc. and her capacity to love others and leave herself behind is hardly there. It's ALL ABOUT HER, and she's like a black hole of need, forever needing reaffirmation that she's just wonderful, and in truth it's egoistical or I should say ego-centric. Many people with low self esteem are obsessed with the self and how worthless it is. I realize a kick in the ass isn't going to help them, and they they need love and to be shown how valuable they really are, but if they were to really look at what the payoff is, they just might come to see that secretly, they are being self righteous in their worthlessness, and forever comparing themselves with others, but instead of making themselves superior, it's inferior - just the opposite end of the same egoic spectrum of self absorption when you really think of it.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 03:34 AM
link   
Of course I'm beginning with the presupposition that every person is of infinite value, no matter who they are, or what they look like, or what their capacity or lack if it is.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 03:38 AM
link   
reply to post by OmegaPoint
 


Right- and then So Graphicaly Put- what then is "The CURE" - for this?
and Why is it That you Seem to Know so Much of this- What "you
call"- "Self Absorbed state?"
It's just that this is sounding like "Narcisism"- and really Low self esteem is the opposite. Even though you seem to think high and low are one and the same- sorry I don;'t think so.





[edit on 26-7-2009 by catalyst2466]



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 03:53 AM
link   
Interesting question...

Since we know, with relative certainty (note I said relative) that our environment and life experiences are absolutely how we evolve as a person throughout our lives, it is of course, logical, that some experiences can and do permanently leave 'scarring' behind on our "id" or psyche that forever impact who we "might" have been vs. who we end up becoming.

For me, I think, much like we look at someone who has lost a limb, or lost their sight - You work hard, train and re-educate yourself with experiences and/or tools that will help either a) recognize the scarring/trauma and help provide reasonable coping mechanisms or b) you learn to accept that you will always have some scarring. And like a diabetic who must change his/her diet or take insulin to help offset the imbalance, it does not prevent one from living a very "normal", happy and/or productive life. It sucks when it happens, and yes, its not fair that some people have to work extra hard because of such scars...but then its not fair when an infant is killed in an accident caused by a drunk driver either. Life is quirky that way - but I believe it all balances out somewhere.

You either chose to learn to "live with" the symptoms and find healthy means to compensate/adjust/accept or you fail due to lack of support, healthy relationships, etc. (again environment) and end up replicating learned "bad" behaviors/coping mechanisms thus creating a cycle of more failure and despondency.

Ultimately, I think the key is surrounding yourself with people who are positive, relatively balanced/adjusted and so on - this can go a long way toward helping someone with low self-esteem due to horrific events in their lives, move forward and have hope of an almost complete recovery and regain their own balance and sense of self-worth.

(also, I tend to personally believe that the "universe" compensates for things such as extreme abuse, torture - whatever - by providing other gifts to balance things out. Most people I've come across who have experienced horrific abuse or other ugly things come through the experience incredibly sensitive, socially aware, more empathic, etc. as a result of said experiences)



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 04:00 AM
link   
reply to post by catalyst2466
 


I think self-esteem is genetic, each person has a set point (some have thermostat on at 62, some at 68). I think your basic mood, of happiness/unhappiness/contentment, is also pre-pegged. I believe (though I'd have to scramble to find the references that bear on this exact issue) that studies of identical twins reared apart indicate this.
But low-self-esteem can drive you to achieve, in that nice old fashioned masochistic Nixon way, and high self-esteem can drive you to achieve or leave you happy with yourself while accomplishing little.
Either way, I figure, why wish you were different, just take the unfair genetic cards you were dealt and just get on with yourself...



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 04:15 AM
link   
reply to post by Skeptical_Seeker
 


Thank you for your wonderful insight, I do believe in the "Universial
Consciousness" - and thus has a balance in All things... Gifts are given and sometimes we need to seek deep within to Recognise our "hidden treasures"....



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 04:18 AM
link   
reply to post by Skeptical_Seeker
 


Your post has summed up my situation very well. you have to surround yourself with loving people. It was very easy for me to start feeling sorry for myself. to not want to go out with friends, but that only made me feel sad. So i had to get myself back out there with people who care about me and encourage me. Learning to live with cancer has been tough, but has been made easier with great friends and family. Whenever i feel sorry for myself, I always think of those who are in a worse situation.

If i hadn't had the support Ive had i dread to think where I'd be right now



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 04:24 AM
link   
reply to post by nine-eyed-eel
 


Thats an interesting point of view' "genetic"- I guess this plays along with other genetic mental health issues such as bipolar, schizophenia etc; ...
///though don't think that one can easily accept these conditions-if so takes great strength and lotsof time.



posted on Jul, 26 2009 @ 04:34 AM
link   

Originally posted by woodwardjnr
reply to post by Skeptical_Seeker
 


Your post has summed up my situation very well. you have to surround yourself with loving people. It was very easy for me to start feeling sorry for myself. to not want to go out with friends, but that only made me feel sad. So i had to get myself back out there with people who care about me and encourage me. Learning to live with cancer has been tough, but has been made easier with great friends and family. Whenever i feel sorry for myself, I always think of those who are in a worse situation.

If i hadn't had the support Ive had i dread to think where I'd be right now


You sound to me as though you have been through a lot and have recovered and transformed and have learnt a lot. This is remarkable and I see your points about feeling sorry etc; quite clearly. You would have a lot to give and to reach out to others, thank you.



new topics

top topics



 
4
<<   2 >>

log in

join