It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
The European Space Agency has opened its first British research centre. Now the race is on to find a suitable name for the facility.
The European Space Agency landed in Britain this week. At a packed ceremony at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office in London, the agency's director-general, Jean-Jacques Dordain, took to the stage and quipped about arriving one hundred years after Louis Blériot.
When I was a kid in school, the career advisor came to see us and said, "Look, I advise you to get a career, what can I say?" And he took me aside and he said, "What d'ya wanna do, kid? What do you wanna do with your life? Tell me your dreams!"
So I said, "I wanna be an astronaut! And go into outer space and discover things that no one's ever discovered before!"
He said, "Look, you're British, so scale it down a bit."
"All right, then I wanna work in a shoestore! And discover shoes that no-one's ever discovered! Right at the back of the shop on the left ..."
He said, "Look, you're British, so scale it down a bit!"
"All right, then I wanna work in a sewer. And discover sewage that no-one's ever discovered before. I'll pile it on my head, then come to the surface and sell myself to an art gallery."
He said, "What the f*** have you been smoking, eh? You certainly haven't been smoking in a bar in California!" (Because you can't! Yes ... no smoking in bars, and soon no drinking and no talking!)