posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 08:43 PM
I have been with my bf for over a year now but most of that time it has been long distance. He use to live with me in FL but was laid off from his
job and moved to Mobile, AL where he had previously lived years before. He went to AL because he had more job opportunities than here in FL and he is
much closer to his son, which I am really happy about. He asked me to move up there with him, but it's been taking longer than I thought and it's
really starting to affect me in many ways. He wanted to get his life straight and get a better paying job to support us before I got there and I
completely understand that and I told him I stood behind him 100%. I use to go every month to see him for a week and I cried when I had to leave
because I wanted to be there with him. We talk on the phone but mostly text since he hates talking on the phone..lol I havent seen him in 3 months and
it's really getting to me. I havent been able to go thanks to this wonderful economy we have...meaning I havent had the money and couldnt afford to
take off from work. I am really down lately to the point my friends get worried because I am not answering calls or wanting to go out for simple
things like lunch. I have become really jealous of anyone who gets to spend time with my bf since I dont and for me that is not normal because I dont
get jealous like that. I was never the type to get mad if he hung out with friends, I didnt care. Just tonight he told me he and his friend were
making steaks and then watching Star Trek (lol) and I got really upset, it almost made me cry! I just wished it was me. We use to do this all the
time when we lived together and when I go up there to see him we do these types of things as well. Well he starts classes next week and it is a two
month course and he said that after that I will be able to move there since he will have done what he set out to accomplish. I have always been very
supportive of him and he has of me as well.
The thing is people rush to judge us well mostly him without even knowing anything about the situation. I am the type of person that will stand
by someone no matter what. Everyone thinks I should have left him for him making me wait so long, but why should I punish him for wanting to do better
for himself and for us? I am really proud of him and very happy that he did what he did. It really showed me that he really wants "us" and that he
really does want to do better for himself. I honestly cant say I have one friend here who understands because they are not in my shoes. My good
friend, who moved to LA, was the only person who did understand because she was in the same situation with her bf and now she is there with him and
recently engaged. People thought we were nuts for doing long distance but we understood it. Well without her here it's been hard because I have
nobody to talk to about it and everyone else is just too critical and many times I end up in tears on the way home because of how mean people can be.
I really dislike people talking negatively about a wonderful guy with a great heart and who I just happen to love very much without knowing this
person completely like I do. It makes it hard, real hard.....I just try to bite my lip and walk away but it's getting really difficult.
Good news is I am going up there in August for a week and I cant wait! I know leaving will be hard like always but we are always happy to see
each other and it's like we have never been apart when I am there. His friends all tell me how he never shuts up about me and how he gets excited
when I am coming. This is funny to me since he never talks about feelings...lol but it's nice to know these things and know that he is telling people
all kinds of stuff about me. I mean his one friend knew more about me than most my friends. This person said my bf wouldnt shut up! I find that very
comforting when I am there and I am fine with being away and waiting to move, but the last 3 months have been rough...I will be happy when I get to
move and be with him and have a life together. I dont have to worry about work since I already have a job when I get there and my classes are online
so it's not going to be bad moving there and starting all over in a sense. I even have half my stuff up there since every time I go I bring more
I dont even know why I really posted this. I honestly thought about deleting it but I just wanted to talk to others who are not bias and
have been or are in long distance relationships to see how they deal with it and how it is working out. I love my bf very much and he is the first guy
I have ever been with that I trust completely and I am very happy with him but seeing him only once a month is getting to me and it's making me a bit
insecure which is not like me either. My bf completely understands how I feel and I know it bothers him that this upsets me..Well I know it does and
he apologize all the time but I dont feel he should apologize for making his life better and I did chose to stay in the relationship under these
circumstances. I know I just have to wait a little longer, it's just killing me....My feelings havent changed just my mood due to loneliness I
guess.....