It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

long distance relationships really suck

page: 1
0

log in

join
share:

posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 08:43 PM
link   
I have been with my bf for over a year now but most of that time it has been long distance. He use to live with me in FL but was laid off from his job and moved to Mobile, AL where he had previously lived years before. He went to AL because he had more job opportunities than here in FL and he is much closer to his son, which I am really happy about. He asked me to move up there with him, but it's been taking longer than I thought and it's really starting to affect me in many ways. He wanted to get his life straight and get a better paying job to support us before I got there and I completely understand that and I told him I stood behind him 100%. I use to go every month to see him for a week and I cried when I had to leave because I wanted to be there with him. We talk on the phone but mostly text since he hates talking on the phone..lol I havent seen him in 3 months and it's really getting to me. I havent been able to go thanks to this wonderful economy we have...meaning I havent had the money and couldnt afford to take off from work. I am really down lately to the point my friends get worried because I am not answering calls or wanting to go out for simple things like lunch. I have become really jealous of anyone who gets to spend time with my bf since I dont and for me that is not normal because I dont get jealous like that. I was never the type to get mad if he hung out with friends, I didnt care. Just tonight he told me he and his friend were making steaks and then watching Star Trek (lol) and I got really upset, it almost made me cry! I just wished it was me. We use to do this all the time when we lived together and when I go up there to see him we do these types of things as well. Well he starts classes next week and it is a two month course and he said that after that I will be able to move there since he will have done what he set out to accomplish. I have always been very supportive of him and he has of me as well.
The thing is people rush to judge us well mostly him without even knowing anything about the situation. I am the type of person that will stand by someone no matter what. Everyone thinks I should have left him for him making me wait so long, but why should I punish him for wanting to do better for himself and for us? I am really proud of him and very happy that he did what he did. It really showed me that he really wants "us" and that he really does want to do better for himself. I honestly cant say I have one friend here who understands because they are not in my shoes. My good friend, who moved to LA, was the only person who did understand because she was in the same situation with her bf and now she is there with him and recently engaged. People thought we were nuts for doing long distance but we understood it. Well without her here it's been hard because I have nobody to talk to about it and everyone else is just too critical and many times I end up in tears on the way home because of how mean people can be. I really dislike people talking negatively about a wonderful guy with a great heart and who I just happen to love very much without knowing this person completely like I do. It makes it hard, real hard.....I just try to bite my lip and walk away but it's getting really difficult.
Good news is I am going up there in August for a week and I cant wait! I know leaving will be hard like always but we are always happy to see each other and it's like we have never been apart when I am there. His friends all tell me how he never shuts up about me and how he gets excited when I am coming. This is funny to me since he never talks about feelings...lol but it's nice to know these things and know that he is telling people all kinds of stuff about me. I mean his one friend knew more about me than most my friends. This person said my bf wouldnt shut up! I find that very comforting when I am there and I am fine with being away and waiting to move, but the last 3 months have been rough...I will be happy when I get to move and be with him and have a life together. I dont have to worry about work since I already have a job when I get there and my classes are online so it's not going to be bad moving there and starting all over in a sense. I even have half my stuff up there since every time I go I bring more

I dont even know why I really posted this. I honestly thought about deleting it but I just wanted to talk to others who are not bias and have been or are in long distance relationships to see how they deal with it and how it is working out. I love my bf very much and he is the first guy I have ever been with that I trust completely and I am very happy with him but seeing him only once a month is getting to me and it's making me a bit insecure which is not like me either. My bf completely understands how I feel and I know it bothers him that this upsets me..Well I know it does and he apologize all the time but I dont feel he should apologize for making his life better and I did chose to stay in the relationship under these circumstances. I know I just have to wait a little longer, it's just killing me....My feelings havent changed just my mood due to loneliness I guess.....




posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 08:57 PM
link   
I hate long distance relationships, they're too frustrating and annoying and I've had a few of them but just couldn't stand the travelling and the fact I couldn't just pop round for a cuddle & kiss whenever I fancied it, it all has to be pre planned and normally only at weekends due to work commitments. So I refuse to have one with anyone who is more than 30minutes driving distance now...

My second cousin lives in Southern Australia and his girlfriend lives in Germany and I have no #ing idea how they manage the distance issues, it's alien to me.



posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 09:15 PM
link   
reply to post by Discotech
 


WOW that brings new meaning to long distance. I think driving 8 hours sucks, I cant imagine being that far but then again I can understand in a way.
Funny thing is when we started dating we only lived an hour apart and I moved in with him since I was there every day anyways and now he is 8 hrs away! lol Kind of funny if you ask me in a way..



posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 09:20 PM
link   
reply to post by mblahnikluver
 


Interesting slant on it, as you get emotionally closer you get more physically away!

The only thing I did like about long distance relationships was the sex, because you don't get any through the week you sure as hell make up for it when you finally get to meet, and the missing each other thing as well I guess, it was much nicer being together and made the time more special than if we had been seeing each other every day.

So I guess long distance relationships has its pro's and con's but its just not for me, at all and I'd never do it again no matter if she was my the woman of my dreams lol



posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 09:25 PM
link   
I was also in a long distance relationship in the past, actually two. The first one was great but he eventually went to college and had less time to spend talking on the phone and I moved and we completely lost touch. He was the first person I ever fell in love with.

And the second was a disaster. I met him through a friend when he was up here in Michigan visting his family. We started dated and everything was pretty good. Then things got ugly. He turned into a completely different person and did some pretty mean things to me that made me question how someone could have such a black heart.

If you love that guy as much as you say you do, then kudos for staying for so long. I really hope things go great for you. I know what its like to be lonely and it really hurts and starts to get to you after awhile.

But you seem like a really cool chick and you have all us ATSers to help you out with anything if your feeling down.



posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 09:28 PM
link   
reply to post by mblahnikluver
 



Love last ALWAYS no matter the distance!

It is tough living a long way from the person you want to be with, but when you do get up there, this time right now will only make it better.

Because then the two of you will appreciate each other more and respect each other more too! Having this distance now, can bring you even closer together later!



posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 09:28 PM
link   
reply to post by Discotech
 


Lol that is true you make up for lost time..lol My bf says he misses me the more he goes without seeing me. He too has said it makes the time we get to spend together more special and meaningful. I went up there for Valentines Day and he had it planned for a month and he wanted to tell me because he knew I would like it but I made him wait to surprise me..lol It does have it's pros for sure but the cons really suck!



posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 09:34 PM
link   
reply to post by Jess_Undefined
 


Aww thanks
Yeah my ex who is like one of my best friends is one person who understands because he knows how I am. I just dont believe in letting something like a little distance come between us while he betters himself for.

Yea the guy you mentioned who was a bad person, this happened to a friend of mine. He was so different when he wasnt around her. It was like he was two different people....Most people always say "you dont know what he is really doing" and I say well I wouldnt really know if he was here either so it doesnt matter and I trust him so that's all that matters. Believe me I get a lot of BS from people esp since all my friends here know him and are a little upset with him for me still being here. However they know him in a different way than I do so they dont really get it. I swear its really annoying sometimes and I have snapped at friends over it, but they usually understand and shut up..lol



posted on Jul, 18 2009 @ 09:44 PM
link   

Originally posted by questioningall
reply to post by mblahnikluver
 



Love last ALWAYS no matter the distance!

It is tough living a long way from the person you want to be with, but when you do get up there, this time right now will only make it better.

Because then the two of you will appreciate each other more and respect each other more too! Having this distance now, can bring you even closer together later!



Thanks
that helps...he does always laugh at how I am always on here. He knows I live on here when I can..lol

You know my bf basically says the same thing and quite honestly it has brought us closer together. The few times he has opened up have been a direct result of the distance and him thinking he was going to lose me. It's been good for us I must admit but it's still hard...

I swear I am a hopeless romantic.. My signature on here is about unrequited love and I even have it tattooed on my back. Everyone can relate to that no matter who the other person is whether it be family or other..,movies like "The Notebook" make me all warm and fuzzy..lol Love IMO has no time or distance limit. My bf changed his whole out look on relationships because of me (which he has thanked me for) and it's been very noticeable by his friends as well as mine. We are truly meant to be even though we are almost opposite. It's hard to explain! We are sometimes like two peas in a pod, it's funny.



posted on Aug, 11 2009 @ 04:33 PM
link   
Just think of it as a crash course in omgwtf.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but only the right kind of fondness. If your relationship has any matter you will find out once and for all without a doubt. If it doesn't work out, it would have probably failed no matter what so don't let it eat you up.
You probably deserved better anyway. If it does make it then Yippie. You will know it is made to last.



posted on Aug, 14 2009 @ 02:17 AM
link   
Yea long distance relationships suck.

Someone invent teleportation now pls! So we could just 'beam up me, Scotteh!!'







 
0

log in

join