The mother in law from hell.

Oh the mother in law from hell. Some of us have to deal with them rarely, and others, all the time! I myself have the unfortunate circumstance of actually living with my mother in law from hell. I just cant seem to get along with her!

With my significant other being unemployed, we are forced to live with his parents. And its not even the mother in law thats the only problem. Its the father in law too.

Let me go on about a few things the mother in law has done to make me want to punch a wall.

For one, I have a two year old son. And I dont like him eating off other peoples plates because he never finishes his own dinner if he does. And of course I made this clear on several occasions. But as they make there plate and go in the living room, I go in to see them letting him take bites of there food. Even after I stated at least 5 times he wasnt suppose to.

And this goes for toys also. My kid has millions of toys, and he has no need what so ever for new ones. Yet when I set a rule that nobody is to buy him any new toys for awhile, she still comes home from the store every single day with yet another new toy that I said I didnt want him to have.

So my question is, does anyone else have to deal with a mother in law you absolutely dont get along with? Tell me stories!

My former mother in law was the reigning queen of the 'guilt trip'.

She could have been a tour guide in hell.

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


You must remember that the grandparent is the one who spoils the child. I know you have to set boundaries on what to feed and give the child, but the grandparent will break those rules.

Since your own mother raised you and knows you, she will respect the rules you have set down. The In-Law has a mind set that states "what is the harm?" that you have to confront. Also, you need to have 100% support from your husband, or nothing will get accomplished.

This can be a sad situation since you now have a child that is also a grandchild. Just remember to hold your ground with her as YOU are the parent, not her. Good luck with this situation as it may get sticky before it gets better.

Well I have an update. Yesterday they went out and bought him a 400 dollar battery powered car. I was literally furious. I really do not believe a two year old should have something as expensive as that. But the most part that annoyed me, was that I felt like a crappy mom because I couldnt buy it for him.

Ive had this talk with them a million times about how it makes me feel, and yet they still do it. I dont understand it. The mother is the one who says yes or no, yet why are they stll ignoring my requests? Are there any grandmothers in here that could explain to me?

Well, I would throw a fit. And take the car back to the store. Or, you could give her a taste of her own medicine....

I am also having problems with my mother in law.... I keep on doing things for her like inviting her for dinner- or to come and swim at our house and have a barbeque on really hot days as they do not have a pool. I buy her little gifts all the time, hoping she will at least notice me and that I care about her and want to connect with her. But instead, what she does is give my "fiance" all the credit for everything I DO for her... I am so sick of it. Sick of trying and sick of her snide remarks that are always said with a smile on her face !!!!!

Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
And this goes for toys also. My kid has millions of toys, and he has no need what so ever for new ones. Yet when I set a rule that nobody is to buy him any new toys for awhile, she still comes home from the store every single day with yet another new toy that I said I didnt want him to have.

So my question is, does anyone else have to deal with a mother in law you absolutely dont get along with? Tell me stories!

You really do not have many problems in this world if you think someone who cares enough about your little boy to get him toys is "from hell". Grandparents (biological or not) are supposed to spoil kids, and your child is very lucky to have such persons in his life.

Be grateful and stop whining.

Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
For one, I have a two year old son. And I dont like him eating off other peoples plates because he never finishes his own dinner if he does. And of course I made this clear on several occasions. But as they make there plate and go in the living room, I go in to see them letting him take bites of there food. Even after I stated at least 5 times he wasnt suppose to.

And this goes for toys also. My kid has millions of toys, and he has no need what so ever for new ones. Yet when I set a rule that nobody is to buy him any new toys for awhile, she still comes home from the store every single day with yet another new toy that I said I didnt want him to have.

YOU are being unreasonable.

Technically you are a temporary guest in their home. Are you totally missing the point they are accepting your son and being friendly to him.

Your 5 year old son is not going to be harmed by these "grandparents" breaking some minor rules.

Originally posted by Tripple_Helix
Well, I would throw a fit. And take the car back to the store. Or, you could give her a taste of her own medicine....

I am also having problems with my mother in law.... I keep on doing things for her like inviting her for dinner- or to come and swim at our house and have a barbeque on really hot days as they do not have a pool. I buy her little gifts all the time, hoping she will at least notice me and that I care about her and want to connect with her. But instead, what she does is give my "fiance" all the credit for everything I DO for her... I am so sick of it. Sick of trying and sick of her snide remarks that are always said with a smile on her face !!!!!

Its your husband's mother.

Why are you taking this on - - and making everyone miserable?

Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
Well I have an update. Yesterday they went out and bought him a 400 dollar battery powered car.

So what.

Unless you continue to live there for many years - - - it hurts nothing.

So let me get this straight...you have a place to live, food and toys for your child? Yeah, your mother in law sounds like a real piece of work.

Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
With my significant other being unemployed, we are forced to live with his parents.

What a spoiled brat you sound like. Here's a novel idea: get off your whiney, complaining behind; go out and get a job; and find your own place to live instead of putting the burden on your husband and his family to support you and your kid (and then complain to high heaven about it).

Based on what you have said, you haven't the slightest comprehension of what nightmare inlaws are. Clue: they *aren't* spoiling your kid rotten with love and toys.

Inlaws from Hell hate you; they *hate you.* That's what nightmare inlaws do; they detest the ground you walk on and believe that their precious, angelic offspring can do so much better than you. They look upon you as if you are some sort of dirty insect that crawled into their child's life, and their only obsession is to somehow get rid of you.

You think you know... pfft... you know nothing about bad inlaws.

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


Your kid is loved. And being cared for. He's being fed, has a roof over his head, in times where you and your better half are in the ditch. As a parent, this should make you thankful. Not angry.

Your melodrama sounds very selfish to me...

But I'm not in your shoes...

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


[color=mediumorchid]I.feel.your.pain.

Seriously.

My mother in law is awful.

Complains she never sees the kids but refuses to watch them when I really need her to (which isn't often, and I only ask when it's really important).

She starts fights between me and my sister in law by lying saying the other one said this or that.

She babies the kids if they get in trouble.

She will eat their food so that they can have desert/get up from the table/go play.

She will give them sippy after sippy and then complain to me that their diaper is wet.

She will give the kids permission to do things even after I have said no.

She will let us borrow money, complain to anyone that will listen to her about it, and then lie to her husband saying that we never paid her back.

She called the whole family and told them I had a miscarriage even though it was none of their business. And then proceeded to tell me that it was a good thing because we wouldn't have been able to fit that baby into our car anyway.

I could go on. And on. For days.

I used to live with them and it was awful.

Just know that you are not alone.


[color=dodgerblue]Edited to Add: To all of those that are being judgmental, stop it! She came here to vent to us, not to be judged.

OP:

I have been there. Times are tough and you have to do what you have to do.

My advice would be to do whatever you can to get yourself into a position to move out. You will feel so much better when you are able to have your own place again.

Dear Jess,

Please ignore the above comments as these people obviously have no idea what it is like to live with a Narcissistic mother or mother in law. It is something you will never understand until you directly experience it. Just take it day by day and keep her at arms length. It is all you can do other that cut contact all together.

I feel sorry for the OP but it's just one of those things. You're living in their house and they're being ever so nice but at the same time making you feel a bit helpless. You have to try and let it go. Your child is too young to spoil at the minute, so he's okay.

My friend had a problem with her sister in law. She has one little girl and the sis-in-law has no kids. So, when it's birthday time, or Christmas, auntie goes on a massive spending spree and buys her niece EVERYTHING, making mum and dad's pressies look tiny and insignificant. This bugged my friend for a couple of years then she took a fresh look at it, laughed, and shrugged it off. Now she leaves auntie to do what she likes. It's her money after all.

If you look deeper into it, if anything ever happened to you, it seems like your son will be very well looked after.

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


well move out and get your own place.

simple but I guess if your not in a position to do that, you will have to be grateful that you have them actually letting you stay with them.

and respect too cos it isnt your home...it is theirs so bit hard but you can't go there and say, these are my terms...

just move out

My mum has been a pain in the ass with mine and my brothers girlfriends. It's so out of character to how she is with anybody else.

First time I brought my girlfriend back to meet my parents, the first thing my mum says to my girlfriend is "oh, Nick (me) said that you had put on weight". I just stood there with my mouth open not knowing what to say.

She would never say anything like this to my other friends or female friends.

[color=dodgerblue]My mother in law will ask the kids (they are 2 and 4) if they want to go home with her, they get all excited and she NEVER takes them. They have complete meltdowns when she leaves because they thought they were going with.

Next time she does it.... she is taking them.

Seriously.

Originally posted by Tripple_Helix
Dear Jess,

Please ignore the above comments as these people obviously have no idea what it is like to live with a Narcissistic mother or mother in law. It is something you will never understand until you directly experience it. Just take it day by day and keep her at arms length. It is all you can do other that cut contact all together.

Really?

And you know my life how?

*** REMINDER ***

Let's be civil please, besides you are discussing a thread that was posted 2 years ago.