Traits of an Empath: Descriptions and Discussion

Reply to futurewolfaqua

What else could it be? Who knows... some of us are born to help and heal, some of us condemn each other for no reason.

There is a reason people condemn others. it's called ego and Napolean Complexes. The competitive nature of man. Lower emotions. Fear.

Apologies if this was off topic but trying to remain calm cool and collected in a house full of hate is more than my soul can bear presently.

You are on the thread, but maybe i appear to be off topic about the 100th monkey syndrome. I think they could be related if you were to think of the empaths as part of a social evolution. lead by example sort of thing. Helping others to not be fearful of each other.



[edit on 16-7-2009 by ogbert]

[edit on 16-7-2009 by ogbert]

I am, or was, an empath. I don't believe you can ever give it up. But you can shut it down. The awful contradictions between people. Yuck! It's horrible! The conflicts between just two people you are in contact with makes for a bad situation. I just shut it down. It was more than I could bear. I can get it back. But I usually choose not to. It's awful to be an empath. What a curse it is. It's one thing to be able to see another viewpoint and feel sorry for someone. It's totally different when you actually experience what they are experiencing, especially when you exprience the evil within them. and then add on top of that, their convoluted ideas. You can actually feel "empathy" for them. If you are an empath and can handle it, then more power to you.

I think we need to come up with a definitive label for these kinds of threads because they are posted over and over again. Allow me to summarize:

1. OP appeals to outsider, social phobics by dropping personality traits that would describe the vast majority of this population, or, quite possibly almost everyone on earth.

2. Rather than flaws, OP insists they are merely objective symptoms of a thread reader's special and rare gift or status, e.g., having latent superpowers or being an alien.

3. Based solely on the satisfaction of the OP's own test or symptom checklist, thread reader enthusiastically claims to be a member of this rare class of persons.

4. Thread reader eagerly describes personal anecdotes or behavioral tendencies that are consistent with the OP's checklist.

5. Thread readers states, "I knew I was different from most people but until your thread came along, I just couldn't figure out how. It's good to know that I'm not alone."

6. Thread reader describes the unfortunate but inevitable consequences of having the superpowers - the burden they must carry but nonetheless welcome in the service of a greater good.

7. OP congratulates thread leader on making the discovery, suggesting what a powerful and positive effect the reader can have on the world with advantages that put him or her above the limitations of most human beings.

8. Thread loses attention/popularity

9. New thread created with different superpower. See Step 1.

I suggest we nickname these threads the Peter Parker Threads, since Peter Parker was the textbook-definition nerd who got powers and redeemed himself completely.



[edit on 17-7-2009 by andrewh7]

I am definitely empath, and I agree with most of what you are all saying. I love water - streams, the beach, swimming drinking etc, and nature really calms me. But I love crowds! I love walking through stacks of people, and I love sitting in a busy mall or park and just people watching.

Smoker too, maybe it helps calm emotions? I dunno really. I know that sometimes it's as if I feel too much and can't control it. Sometimes the only way I can calm down is to be by myself in an extremely calm quiet place. Stress over things I can't control is one of my worst faults.. Others share that? Haha.

Anyone have any good links where I can read up on this? Maybe balancing of emotion techniques?? Is that even real? I dunno but I'll read anything once, haha.

Originally posted by shuck
reply to post by Wertdagf

 

No child either!!

Another rule with the Empath thing is never ever let someone try to dump their personal problems on you!! by how they behave!!

Yes, yes, yes! You have described my inner core to a T!! I remember when I was very young and some horrible tragedy had happened, plane crash i believe. I was absolutely STOPPED by the amount of pain and suffering I would feel! I would sit for days on end and watch every last detail unfold! I could feel their pain, and at that time couldn't control how strong the emotional reaction would be.

But to reply to the above poster and one earlier regarding help in handling these overwhelming emotions. I am currently in process of learning this, but it is vital in order to maintain emotional stability.

We must establish personal boundaries. These are boundaries put in place to help us manage our emotions. It is realizing that no one has the power to make you feel or behave a certain way. That ultimately the choice is ours on how we choose to react or respond to anyone or anything. This has to do with "letting go", and not feeling responsibile for every person who has a problem, and the consuming need to "fix it"!

Bottom line, we feel we must control the outcome or someone will experience even more pain than they are now. And we are bound and determined NOT to let that happen! Is this not exactly how each and everyone of you feel?

To care about is different than to care for. I am a nurse by trade, and this is one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. Understanding that we can still feel compassion while not letting it assault our senses is the goal.

I have become so sensitive to people that within a few minutes I can tell you the nature of what is going on with them. By looking in their eyes I can see their spirit. I am not boasting, just stating the facts, but it is how I handle the emotion I am reading that determines weather or not I will become a help or a hindrance.

Beautiful thread!












[edit on 17-7-2009 by paxnatus]

I discovered I'm an empath to. I have almost all of the signs and traits. Now im trying to learn how to control it.

reply to post by paxnatus


I'm an empath too and I fully agree with your idea of personal boundaries. In setting up those personal boundaries, I've discovered something else in me - probably because of the way that I was raised- I had this deep hidden notion that to be loving and compassionate (related to empathy) is to "feel what you feel".

But actually, I don't have to feel what you feel. I recognise your pain, and I acknowledge it, but I don't have to "feel" it. (Been there done that; it served it's purpose in the past and I don't have to go there). Acknowledgment and validation of someone else's pain and suffering is enough. From my experience, in connecting and feeling the pain, I'm actually absorbing it on an energetic level, leaving the other person feeling much better, but leaving me stuck with the pain which I have to clean up afterwards! And those people keep coming back, because subconsciuosly they recognise that you take away their pain. I'm not saying never do it, but leave yourself a choice. This type of disengagement is the only way I can function

I am amazed at how perfectly you described what I recently started feeling and going through. Like the barrage of feelings and emotions. This is definitely what I am.

Yes i beleive i am a empath.In reallity it can takes years to fully understand the ability you have.There are some positive effects about being a empath and then there are also negitive effects about being a empath.You have to learn what the difference is and live to control both areas depending on your condition ,lifestyle and enviroment.I also have other abilities like clairvoyance,telepathy,telikinesis and precognition but i will discust about being a empath tonight.The ability to read people like reading there minds.But there is a lot more involved then just reading people.You can sometimes tell if someone is sick or has cancer.Thats one of the negitive effects.Another negitive is looking at people.When i go into the city where there is lots of people i try not to look at them in the face.I always try to look though people or around people.This is not because i am very shy.Its because empaths can pick up good emotions and feelings from people.On the other hand empaths can also pick up negitive emotions and feelings.Some empaths just cannot do this as they pick up too much negitivity and at times it could cause depression or panic.If fact alot of people are like this.They just have not relised they are a empath.Some people cannot be around lots of people in public or at partys and faimly events.Empaths can tell is someone is lying and they can tell what people would suite them just by looking at there photo.In the last years i beleive my psychic abilities have become stronger.We are very good with animals and in my case can detect spirits.Over the last couple of years i have detected spirits all over town.In some cases i know straight way how they died.Accidental drowning,suicides and even murder.So you think empaths like going to antique auctions.Think again.Empaths can even get vibs ,feelings and visions from just touching antique furniture.We get vibs from old objects.I guess we can just about get vibs from touching anything.Many years ago i was part of a group of psychics who were involved contacting the spirit world.After three years i left becasue of two reasons.One was i felt i was getting too powerful and i just did not know what i was becoming.Another reason why i left was the group was it was starting to do channeling though the spiritworld to which i did not want to get involved.I know some people can channel spirit but do we really know who we are channeling and leting into our bodies.I reguard channeling as a form of posession and i do not want to be part of that.15 Years before i had some bad experiences with the occult and that really scared me to beleive that demons do exsist.

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I have the ability to "read" people, from their body language to their eye movements to even their speech patterns.

I'm also quite withdrawn at times and I unconsciously make people seek me out when they want companionship or someone to listen.

There are things that anger me but I've slowly started shedding petty hangups and I've started to learn how to harness my abilities for the benefits of others and myself as well.

Although I agree with the general assesssment that morality and empathy is preferable to psychopathy, it seems to me the soiopaths/psychopaths are at an advantage.

The empathic person trusts. The Psychopath/sociopath takes. The latter says, "hey, could you show me your wallet?" Trusting, the former pulls it out without a second thought. If he doesn't get a shiv between the ribs, at the very least his wallet becomes the victim of a snatich-and-grab.

There is some new evidence as to how Cro-Magnon man (our immediate ancestor) took over Ice-Age Europe from the previously dominant Neandertals. If this theory is correct. we freakin' ATE them. Yep, we're carnivorous apes, we are bloody cannibals, and we didn't make it to the top of the food chain by being squeamish.

Even if this theory ultimately proves to be untrue, our blood-drenched history of brutal war and mass slaughter in all times and places speaks for itself.

I often feel a "new breed" of wolflike creatures is emerging amoung us. They look like us, smell like us, dress like us, and can (at least for now) still breed with us....except they utterly lack even the barest shred of empathy or compassion. Despite their charming exterior and often extreme mental acuity (many are among the leaders of our nations and companies), they resemble an emerging, more brutal type of human who is willing to go far. In my darker moments, I see them utterly overwhelming the rest of us, much as we may have slaughtered and devoured the more peaceful, bigger-frontal-lobed Neandertals.

good to see so many reply's since i went offline last night and new perspectives. its a shame there have been some negativity shown but hey thats the way life is sometimes.

i shall fully catch up in a few hours but for now i need to head out and sisit my ill brother in hospital, keep the info coming and remember dont be shy to share your experiences or ask for advice or even if you are just curious thats fine

Perhaps we are not empaths. Maybe the vague characteristics we are all relating to are common. Perhaps our feeling of being an empath is actually coming from an abundance of selfishness. We think, and relate to everyone, because we are subjective and our emotions are the only emotions. Maybe every empath here who claims to "be there " for others and no one is "there" for them, maybe those of us claiming that are just so self indulged.

I see a lot of weakness here, I'm embarrassed I can relate (The OP described me.) or maybe I just can't focus on anyone but me thus relating is the closest I can come from myself.

reply to post by ronishia


I echo your thoughts on the way this thread has kept rolling.
For me, the Psychology displayed in this thread is really interesting.
Some people say its a gift, to others its a burden but I think it goes back a point made early on, we are all the personality types. We are all things to all people, depending on the person we talk to, we can bend our own personality to accomodate that individual's needs.
I don't think anyone here is claiming superpowers or anything that makes us special or unique other than the fact we have an over-developed sense of empathy, the insights we gain into society are meerly bi-products, useful though they are.
Somebody mentioned "Psychic vampires" lol yes, I've come across a few of those in my time, I would imagine them to be the opposite of us, you should listen to The Artic Monkey's song "Perhaps vampires is a bit strong...but" sums them up pretty well I think.
Yes I also smoke like a chimney, sometimes like Bob Marley's chimney lol but I haven't drunk alcohol in years.
I'll check back later...
Edit for proper song title.


[edit on 17-7-2009 by Badfuture]

reply to post by Badfuture

Other than giving advice or comfort to other people, it's hard to see many positives to being an empath.
I also find it frustrating to never receive the same level of empathy back, to be honest it never crossed my mind that most people aren't capable of it.
I wonder are we the healers of society? Because I gotta say I'm a million miles away from that in reality lol.
Recently I lost an easy thread debate and got two warnings etc due to anger, like someone said (it may have been you) once the anger strikes you lose the empathic ability. However powerful a social skill it is, it seems we can only use it for good.

You are absolutely right in that there are not many positives for us. I always tried to make myself think that at least perhaps I was generating good karma for myself. Honestly it all depends on my mood. Alot of times it's simply depressing, other times it seems to make me feel good being so connected. Usually it just becomes a double edged sword.

For example, I didn't get online last night because I was all wrapped up in taking care of (what I thought) was a stray dog. I found him while I was out running errands. He was in a strange part of town and I pulled over to take a look at him, he was all emaciated and looked a bit beat down. So I pull over and get out to look at him. I give him a few scraches and love pats and he proceeds to jump into my truck. That was it, clearly the dog was coming home with me. I hung around in the area for about an hour, flagging people down, asking if they recognized the dog, etc. Of course no one knows anything. He had a tag on but it wasn't an id tag, it was more of a micro-chip registration tag. There wasn't even a name or phone number. I started to think someone dumped the dog

Anyway, I proceed to finish my errands in town with my new buddy in tow. Meanwhile, I called my husband to tell him I'm bringing the dog home for the night because everything is closed, couldn't even take him anywhere to be scanned because it was late and I live in the sticks. Hubby proceeds to freak out on me. (Keep in mind, I'm already kind of maxed out on dogs!) I am told all the time that if I try to stuff another dog into our small house, "THAT'S IT"........lol.

So naturally I bring the dog home anyway. I just wanted to get him set up nice in the yard until morning. I had no intentions of bringing him in the house and upsetting my other dogs. I just wanted to keep him safe until morning when I could bring him to the Humane Society (ours is a "no-kill" shelter). I set up the shed for him to sleep, put blankies, food, water, toy, etc. It was all going really well until it started to storm. Figures. So now I absolutely have to get this dog to stay in the shed.....but he wont. He's running around the yard barking, coming up on the porch, making me feel awful for not letting him in. Naturally hubby is pissed as hell (per usual).

At this point I'm absolutely hysterical and soaking wet after running in and out of the house 872 times trying to calm this poor little guy down. I was contemplating sneaking him into the house and just hiding him somewhere (which isn't realistic at all). So while I'm thinking on all this, I decided to call animal control to see if there were any 24 hour shelters in the area I could take him to. I was willing to drive out of my way to make sure he would be safe. Of course I really wanted to bring him inside and keep him forever but my dogs are very close-knit and they wouldn't go for it. I simply cannot take in another baby right now, as much as it breaks my heart.

So, I'm calling all over creation and finally someone rings me back. Turns out (a few calls later), that this dog IS NOT homeless. Evidently he has escaped more than a few times! Naturally I am relieved, so I call his owner and bring him home, etc. etc.

Basically now I'm pissed. First of all this women didn't seem to think it was any big deal that her dog didn't have an appropriate tag on. Nor did she find it a problem that he was wandering the neighborhood looking under-fed. Granted, she was extremely grateful that I returned him but she was soooo lackadaisical about the whole thing. It just made me even more upset.

Keep in mind, this totally ruined my night. I was crying during the entire ordeal because I was so upset about this dog. I fought with my husband, because basically he's sick of me trying to save every stray animal, needy person, etc, etc. I'm still upset today in fact. I am too emotional for this sort of thing and it happens all the time.

Just figured I would share (and vent). I'm positive that everyone has been in these type of situations but we seem to be magnets for it. Things that wouldn't normally be such a big deal become very, very deep and personal for us. Badfuture was entirely on point when saying how frustrating this life is.


[edit on 17-7-2009 by jackieps1975]

[edit on 17-7-2009 by jackieps1975]

....and now that I've vented, I need to catch up on all of these responses. I'm so glad to see everyone kept the conversation going.

reply to post by Zealott


Saw your post and decided to start reading backwards today....... hmmmm

"I see a lot of weakness here, I'm embarrassed I can relate (The OP described me.) or maybe I just can't focus on anyone but me thus relating is the closest I can come from myself."

I'm sorry that you consider yourself to be weak, or that you consider 'feeling too much' something to be embarassed about. I feel very strong and I'm sure others would agree. I'm fragile, yes, over-emotional, indeed! but I'm certainly not weak or incapable or needy. In fact, emotions can be very empowering on many different levels. Why not think of it as being a stronger in that we have this edge that others do not.

You come across as extremely passive-aggressive and I find it intriguing that you project your feelings of inadequacies onto all of the individuals in this thread simply because we share common traits. I hope that didn't sound derogatory because it's not. Many times people do feel weak but that isn't necessarily their nature. We all have moments of weakness and self-doubt.

I apologize for not remembering who said this but I read a comment about disliking titles like Indigo, Star-whatever & such.

I agree completely. I do not like those labels either. The reason being that those individuals claim to have a definitive purpose. Some special, miraculous thing that they are going to do for the world. We are not saying that at all. Being empathic is simply a state of being, a type of personality. Notice in this discussion that no one is making wild proclamations. We are simply finding the commonalities between us and discussing it. I'm pretty sure we don't have any missions in place to save the world....although it would be nice!

reply to post by Dewm0nster

Is being an empath your x-men ability?

ATS must just attract all kinds of "Special" people; seems like every week there are five or six threads where people claim to be "Unique" or "Gifted" or some complete BS like that.

So empath means what?
You're super sensitive?
Congatulations.

Yep, super-sensitive would basically sum it up. We never claimed to be special or have amazing gifts. Less babbling, more reading!

And your x-men skill? D bag?
Must be so awesome to be you!