Parenting and Religion, a Philosophical Question

reply to post by ravenshadow13


From what I've seen.. Some do. It's all a matter of choice. I actually feel like.. that if you are raised in a more moderate religious home you're more likely to turn away from religion.

It's difficult to see the problems with religion without first being religious. (This is, from an individual perspective.)

reply to post by GorehoundLarry


Child abuse... maybe, maybe not. It definitely is a tad controlling. But I agree, I'd let my children choose their own religions and educate them about all the options.

reply to post by ravenshadow13


It is a tough choice to make but I think when it comes down to it every individual chooses their religion for themselves regardless what they grow up in (unless the grip of fear and guilt is deeply instilled in them, which is one of the more serious side-effects of religion)

I personally if I had kids wouldn't instill any religious beliefs in them. I wouldn't want my kid to believe something just because I, or anyone else, told them it was the truth, I'd want them to discover the truth themselves.

As for parents of varying religions I really don't think they should have kids at all. I mean no offense but how do two people of different belief systems even get along well enough to procreate? Unless of course they're like most people who have loosely held religious beliefs that they don't take seriously except when their lives are in danger or its a religious Holiday.

[edit on 13-7-2009 by Titen-Sxull]

I want to contribute to your thread OP.

Personal experience- Mother Lutheran-Father Catholic-Great Grandmother Jewish

I believe that if I was raised in a house where both of my parents believed in the same religion and I was more surrounded by others who followed the same religion I would be less willing to question.

Kind of like that Psychological experiment where the guy agrees with everyone else who say wrong answers just so he wont rock the boat or make waves?

The Solomon Asch experiment. Here is a YouTube link to a good example.

www.youtube.com...



(I will try to embed it not sure if it works or not I fail at the Internets)

One way that some of the Major Religions get people to have less of a desire to question their beliefs is through the use of fear. I would argue that the punishment of Hell is one heck of a deterrent against going with the flow!

If you inserted eternal damnation of hell or even the shunning from your own Mother and father as a substitute for Social Awkwardness of the Solomon Asch experiment I do believe the results would be even more startling.

reply to post by jkrog08


Why 12 or 13? Why not just 18? Remember that thread about the girl who didn't want a tranfusion because of her religious beliefs? Because she was a child, her religion didn't make a difference, she didn't have adult rights. So why not wait until 18 for a child to declare a religion?

Originally posted by scared angel
My daughter has always called God, She, who am I to tell her otherwise.

When our friend died she told me that he had gone to Heaven and that he was ok and that if he wanted to come back he could find a hole and crawl through it.

These are her beliefs and I can't tell her any different because I have no right.

Think I'll follow her religion, let the child teach me a thing or two !

If your daughter told you there was a monster in her closet that terrified her every night, who would you be to set her strait by letting her know there was no such thing? Oh yeah - her parent. Sounds to me like you are simply apathetic and couldn't care less about telling her the truth.

Why don't you tell her that the economy is nothing to worry about either - the job fairy will come down from heaven and repair it, giving everyone a job and a million dollars?

Also, there's no reason to prosecute Dick Cheney for running a covert assassination squad because the War Crimes fairy will come down from heaven to punish him.

You're an idiot and you're raising your kid to be the same. Why not teach her to be a critical thinker who reaches conclusions based on evidence as opposed to silly superstitions? Oh yeah - reality is not as rosy as your magic guy sitting on a cloud story.

[edit on 13-7-2009 by andrewh7]

reply to post by andrewh7


No one calls another member an idiot in my thread and doesn't get called out for it. Not cool.

Anyway.

Kids have imaginations. They have invisible friends. They play with dolls. You can't sit a kid down and go "We might lose our house, if something happens we don't have healthcare and it would be bad, we can't pay for college if the prices keep going up, chances are we'll all get cancer, and oh God isn't real probably." It would scar them and traumatize them. Kids can't deal with that sort of thing.

You have to approach everything in a sensitive way with children.

Originally posted by ravenshadow13

Do children feel an attraction to a religion, or religion in general, because they grew up with their parents feeling the same way? Or is there some genetic component?

If two parents have different religious beliefs, why might a child feel a preferance to one towards another if they are raised equally with both?

If a child is brought up in a household that is religious but does not attend religious services, is the child more or less likely to seek such services in their adulthood?

Do parents who provide more religious options for their children ultimately have better relationships with them?


I know that the general trend is for a child to follow the same religious path as their parents. Personally, I do not agree with this philosophy. I don't know why it came about, but probably to ensure future generations of the religion to sustain the beliefs, and also to prevent the negative things that are stated to happen in some ancient religious texts regarding intermarriage and lack of faith.

Didn't know whether to put this in religion or philosophy.

With the widespread internet and more world travel, is it appropriate to allow a child to investigate and try other religions before choosing one? Or traditionally should the child follow what their parents follow.

Is there a conspiracy regarding parenting and religion which ensures the continuation of specific religions in the future? AKA- "We believe it is wrong for you to be any religion but x and raise your child as such" which, over time and throughout the world, cements that religion in place for that sole traditional reason?

Yes, children love a good story book, what better then sex, violence, and angels flying around. Of course their attracted to it, and better yet, their told the story is true.

I believe the child will lean toward the more compassionate parent, most likely the mom, because they want a compassionate religion for themselves.

Relationships built on religion, is a relationship built on lies, and if a lie is never found out, then it's a regular relationship.

reply to post by Republican08


I don't think most parent-child relationships are based on religion. I think they're normal relationships but when it comes to religious issues the parent feels torn that they want the child to be happy as an individual, but they also want the child to follow the religion that the parent feels is correct.

Although some crazy relationships are based on religion. And they raise messed up kids.

Always found it amusing that uptight individuals hate violent video games, violent films, and pornography.

But these are the same people that teach a very depraved and violent story involving a crucifixion. Also, if you're not good, you'll burn in hell. FOREVER. Nice to teach kids that. Of course they're going to be scared into thinking if you reject God, you'll be punished.

Educate children on different institutions, and not just your own.

I wonder if those of you so liberal and open minded about what religion your child chooses will be equally open minded about their sexuality, ethnic biases, diet, educational choices, driving habits, choice of friends, and the list goes on and on.

Somehow i really doubt anyone is going to sit down and say 'now Johnny, some ppl say theres a big man in the sky that made everything...and some people say we just got here by accident from a bunch of hot rocks hitting an ocean billions of years ago.....but you know what? Im not going to tell you what to believe....ill just leave that up to you."

And then they say '...and by the way, i dont care if you grow up to be omnisexual, hate people of color, drive on the wrong side of the road and run over people, hang out with drug dealers and gangsters and not read a book your entire life....you can just do whatever seems right to you....'

A parents job is to guide a kid based on what the parent honestly thinks is TRUE about the world. Relativism is a cop-out. Multiple choice options about religion is a cop-out. For some reason we are ok with some absolutes and not others.....why is that? Did anyone stop to think that how we derive our absolutes for the mundane has its source for absolutes of a higher plane of existence? Something some people call 'spirituality' or 'religion' ?

Anyway, as for me, my parents were christians and raised me going to church until i was 5...then they quit cold turkey until i turned 15 and i started going on my own after some autonomous self directed curiosity about the meaning of life. Did my rearing have an influence on my ultimate decision? I have no doubt at all. Was is it the deal breaker as to whether i chose a traditional religion over an alternative one or athiesm? I dont think so....but then again, how can i truly rule out even the smallest tiny particle of influence from my past?

Thats the problem with this entire question in my opinion: there is no way to rule out the overt and hidden influences of religion, philosophy, cartoons, songs, tv shows, parents, friends and a myriad of other influences on our formation of a world view. And the last thing a good parent should do is forgoe their responsibility to take an active and very OVERT role in shaping their childs spirituality and understanding of reality and the meaning of life. If youre not ready to do that my personal belief is youre not ready to be a parent.....but you know what they say about opinions

I don't find it difficult at all to tell my kids that "some people think so", I quite often do, my oldest is a very inquisitive 5yr old.

Honestly though, the religious beliefs that are introduced to my kids are the last thing on my mind. I'm more concerned about them being indictrinated with the consumerism pervading our culture. That's much more difficult to "counter", if you know what I mean.

Since we don't teach any particular religious beliefs at home, they will hopefully be able to see that there are numerous spiritual belief systems to learn from. Consumerism, on the other hand, is everywhere. We don't watch television (no cable, satellite, or even digital conversion doo-hickey for local channels) so they don't see commercials and stuff at home, but they see it everywhere else.

Neither of my kids has been baptised, but my son was circumsized. The procedure was not done correctly though, and it still appears as if he is not circumcized. I think it is a cultural, rather than religious practice in America.

I think in general, a thinker will question the ideals and ideologies of their parents, no matter what religious beliefs they're taught. If someone cannot overcome them and find out what they believe or don't believe as an individual, that's a shame.

Overall, I don't think we need to worry about what effects people's religious beliefs have on their kids. We all have had to face individual challenges having to do with our parents, families, even society as a whole. Be mindful of your influence if/when you have your own kids, but don't bother worrying too much about others.

They all will find their way, if they can think for themselves. And I don't think there's much we can do to stop people from thinking for themselves, if they have an affinity for it. I spent much of my adolescence in State-sponsored facilities, but here I am on ATS despite their attempted re-education.

In my experience, preachers' kids/grandkids are the wildest. lol

Edit to add:

I don't doubt that my kids hear their father and I discussing various beliefs and even talking to one another about what we personally like and dislike about them. They also hear us discussing politics, science, history, biology, ecology, psychology, lots of -ologies, and even UFOs and possible extraterrestrial life. They hear us debate because we don't tend to agree completely on anything.


[edit on 7/13/2009 by eMachine]

reply to post by ikonspyre


"I wonder if those of you so liberal and open minded about what religion your child chooses will be equally open minded about their sexuality, ethnic biases, diet, educational choices, driving habits, choice of friends, and the list goes on and on. "

One would hope so. It's the child's choice.

How come so many people feel that parents should decide this and that the kid should have basically no rights about how they want to live, but when it comes to abortion, the parents are wrong?

We shouldn't all be little clones of our parents, following everything they believe. Because a child is fundamentally a different person than their parents are. And they deserve to make their own decisions with a tabla rusa.

Within reason, of course. But diet, education, driving habits... those should be fairly universal. Religion does not harm a human being. It's like what genre of literature someone prefers.

reply to post by eMachine


My only issue is that even if you raise your kids to know that there are many beliefs, in the area you live one is probably a majority, and sometimes that can become the preferred religion for children. Not always, though.

"In my experience, preachers' kids/grandkids are the wildest. lol"
My boyfriend's mom is a priest and his grandpa was a priest. So I can vouch for that one.

reply to post by ravenshadow13


Well I said 12 or 13 because in the court systems and in psychology that is usually the age when a child is considered to be 'understanding of the cause and effect relationship', like knowing right from wrong and being able to make some serious decisions. While I feel you may be right with the age of 18 that may lead to a serious and non-reversible psychological condition where the 'child' (no longer a child at 18,lol hence the marks) has been exposed and forced into a certain ideology too long to be able to change in any manageable manner. Keep in mind the ages between 12-18 are the most important in human development due to multiple reasons.

I am by no means a certified psychologist and this is only my opinions based on my current knowledge. With that said I feel that one must take the risks of forcing certain serious decisions on a child at that age because IMHO the benefits outweigh the risks in the long run. In the case you mentioned it was obvious to me that that child was subjected to AT LEAST a borderline fanatical ideology on religion by her parents and was 'brainwashed', or better termed--- tyrannically taught to believe that the way her zealot and as of last news I heard fugitive parents believed was the only way to think and act. Major for those ignorant and controlling parents.

In conclusion I still believe the age of 12 or 13 is the correct age to at least start to expose your child to some serious and 'grown up' decisions because like it or not life is short and time is of the essence and the mind quickly takes actions portrayed by idols(ie;parents) as factual and innate. But again, this is only my opinion on the matter.

reply to post by jkrog08


So like, until 12 or 13 you try to keep your child away from religions, and at around that age you expose them to the different religions and customs. And by 18 they can choose one, or not, if they don't want to.

I like that. It works. Too bad so many religious groups try to recruit children...

reply to post by jkrog08


Sorry OP I have to pipe in here for the last time.

Keep in mind the ages between 12-18 are the most important in human development due to multiple reasons.

Since they are still being shaped through those ages I say wait til 18 as they tend not to worry about their peers and being influenced once mature.
Wait til they are an adult and let them think objectively in order to make a proper thought out reason for believing what they believe.
12 and 13 is too young to be objective...especially with puberty.
Edit to add...at that age i would pick the religion with the hottest girls.


[edit on 13-7-2009 by DrumsRfun]

Originally posted by ravenshadow13
reply to post by eMachine

 

My only issue is that even if you raise your kids to know that there are many beliefs, in the area you live one is probably a majority, and sometimes that can become the preferred religion for children. Not always, though.

I think it's probably impossible to make a child or young person influence-proof. I just hope I can help my kids understand that they should have a better reason than "I want to fit in".

I suppose I hope they learn to reason independently about everything, especially when "I want to fit in" might be a compelling reason to do something (peer pressure etc.).

Personally, I think that if a child/teen feels understood and appreciated and accepted at home, receiving positive encouragement and affirmation, they won't be prone to trying hard to be accepted by others even when it is against their better judgment.

(edit: spelling, I'm sleepy)

[edit on 7/13/2009 by eMachine]

Originally posted by ravenshadow13
reply to post by jkrog08

 

So like, until 12 or 13 you try to keep your child away from religions, and at around that age you expose them to the different religions and customs. And by 18 they can choose one, or not, if they don't want to.

I like that. It works. Too bad so many religious groups try to recruit children...

Well I think it is acceptable and probably good to take your kids to church at any age under 12 or 13 because it does institute good morals and they really will not take i anything too serious to alter their free will potential. But after that yea they are old enough to choose whether or not to go to church with you or believe in a god or not. It is sad so many do try to recruit, in fact they are going against the Bible by doing that, but that is another thread,lol. Like I said earlier, humans still have a lot of evolving to do.

reply to post by DrumsRfun


That is your opinion and you are certaintly entitled to it my friend!