posted on Jul, 12 2009 @ 11:45 AM
Hazelnut, a lot of people have innocently offered you some very bad advice, and I think the worst is:
"trust your instincts"...I'd rather trust my training. Until your training reaches instinctual levels, your instincts will get you killed.
Combat is dangerous, deadly, and emotionally devastating. If you need a weapon, then you are in combat. Combat means violent confrontation, and not
all combat occurs in wars: it can just as easily be one-on-one in a dark alley.
I recommend acquiring a paintball gun and going to your local paintball range to get used to the techniques of stalking other humans and shooting at
them. It's a paltry shadow of real combat but you will learn a ground set of skills, and if the time comes when you need to exercise them, you can
psych yourself into using a real weapon on an enemy much easier.
Killing people isn't easy and never should be. If it becomes easy, then there better be a damn good reason for it, like avenging the horrid death of
a loved one. Otherwise you've wandered into psycho territory and have become as dangerous as the ones you fear. Even if it comes down to either him
or me, you should have enough humanity to regret the necessity. But the key is to be around to regret it.
You are correct, taking a life changes you forever. How it changes you is what's important: you can let it destroy you in a myriad of ways or
you can let it temper you into a harder steel than most.
The best way to avoid the necessity is to prepare mentally. Train your mind and spirit to pick up the intentions of others before they've figured it
out for themselves and take action first. Taking action can mean anything from a quiet word to the wise to putting four slugs center mass without
discusson or debate. If you find yourself dealing with a group, take out the most dangerous one first. This isn't usually the biggest guy, but either
the most deranged or the smartest, the leader. Once you start, don't stop for a second until the entire threat has been eliminated. Remember, the
safest way to check if your opponent is dead is a bullet through the head from a safe distance.
Combat favors the one with the iciest nerves: save the tears, regrets, and puking for after all is said and done.
When people ask me how my day is going my reply is usually: "Not bad, nobody's shooting at me so far today." And I mean it, too. Combat changes you
forever, indeed: it helps keep life in perspective. A lot of crap that bothers other people slides right off me, cuz it ain't no thing, compared to
lots of skilled people doing their damnedest to kill you.
[edit on 12-7-2009 by apacheman]