What ever happened to 'Please' & 'Thank You'?

reply to post by vox2442


My husband was stationed in Japan years back and he said the Japanese are some of the nicest and most polite people in the world. He was very impressed.

He said he could walk down any street in Toyko at any hour of the day or night and feel safer than anywhere here in the states.

Toyko was his favorite city out of the hundreds he visited because the people he encountered were just so nice.

In the village I lived in as a child, it weas even frowned upon for children to use manners. In primary school, I would thank my teachers at the end of a lesson for teaching us the lesson, and they would tell me that I was wasting time, or that I was being excessively formal. In my high school, I am typically noticed and praised for being polite; however, for a school where the headteacher repeatedly insists, almost every week, that we must act like adults and respect each other and our elders, and which has historically known as a dignified school, there is a significant absence of manners. The English language is not one including many simple ways to be polite, however, it is no excuse not to make an attempt.

reply to post by JaxonRoberts



In my culture we are still brought up to have manners. Though I have travelled to places and seen cultures where people have no idea of what manners are.

I have always wondered why and have come to the conclusion that:


1: I think the biggest problem is that we are becoming more accepting to things that we used to be uptight about.

2: I think Television plays a major role.

3:I think the fact that kids know they cant be physically punished and know they have freedom of speech doesn't help.

4: There is also people who think that bad manners shows their importance, and think that if they treat people like crap it makes them more important.
This is encouraged by people who actually believe that because they are being treated like crap, the other person must be important.

I feel that we should just set an example, some will follow.

Thanks

I was raised to be courteous and polite. 99% of the time I receive the same courtesies in return. What I have noticed is the group from about 20 yrs old or younger, who seem to be adrift without any moral base, and do not understand what manners are. Not all in this age group are impolite, or are immoral, but many are. So are many30 to 60 year old's for that matter.
It seems to cross all groups, and is not applicable to just one.

The lower level service workers, who are generally not very bright or haven't much on the ball...are really bad! Most of the time, they don't even pay attention to what your saying. Say "thank you" to them, and they just stare back in a stupor! Some area's and states are far worse than others, Believe me...I travel, so I know.

I can tell much by looking into someones eyes. If they are bright ,wet, and sparkle...you've got a winner generally. When they are dull, dry, dead, and lifeless...you have a zombie deadhead. It is these individuals who just don't give a flying crap about anything or anyone. They also tend to have bad attitudes.

Teeth tell you a lot as well. A nice clean, straight, bright smile, with bright eyes always accompanies a happy individual who is pleasing, and accommodating. Add shiny clean hair, and clean pressed clothes...Bingo!
You have a winner!

Now, on top of all that, listen to the vocabulary. Umm's, huh's, da's and other dullwittedness, plus swearing, all tell you, this person is a dolt!

When they speak in clear, concise, well constructed full sentences, and look you in the eye, and smile as they speak...Voila! If you can hire them, do so immediately.

I have met some young folks working a Lowe's, that were exceptional.
I have encountered some wait staff at various eateries, that blew me away with their very charming and warm personalities. Needless to say, they received 20%+ tips.

Yes, it does seem "Please", "Thank You", and "Your Welcome" are lost in the vernacular these days. You have to encounter the right individual's, and extend the courtesies yourself, in order to receive them back many times...

I will honor my upbringing, and use my manners until I drop. I feel somewhat sorry for those that lack the cultural niceties, and do not know what real civility is about.

All you can do, is try to set a good example.

reply to post by Thousand


I gotta agree with you. Back peddling to the max. He/she also failed to explain his/her assertion that liberals must be aligned with evil/negative.

If you don't believe in God then you're evil? But he supposedly really meant to point out polarities so if your positive then your negative? Only alxandro fails to realize that those who speak of positive/negative are only two sides of the same coin and are most certainly NOT defined as good (God) and Evil (two different "coins" entirely).

I find myself struggling with this idea, but, strangely, it makes sense at the same time.


[edit on 11-7-2009 by nunya13]

Well, a lot has to do with progressive Liberal idealogies and the attempt to get rid of God.

oh puh-lease

I have really good manners! and...wait for it...........I don't believe in God



[edit on 11-7-2009 by lifecitizen]

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


What Happened To Please And Thankyou !? New York Is What Happened LoL . New York Is One Of The Most Agressive Cities In America And Due To It Alota New Yorkers Are Moving To Other States To Try To Relax And Live A More Pleasent Life But They Keep That New York Attitude And It Influences Others . I Also Think The Media Has A lot To Do With It .

Ima A New Yorker And The 1st Chance I Get , My Ass Is Moving To Miami !

Originally posted by SpacePunk
reply to post by JaxonRoberts

 

I still use them all, please, thank you, ma'am, sir, etc... The only time when I do try to sound 'sharp' is when someone is in my way, there's no way around, and a simple 'excuse me' doesn't make a hole. "excuse me, (ahem) excuse me... MAKE A HOLE PEOPLE, I NEED THROUGH HERE, DON'T BLOCK THE LANE LIKE AN IDIOT" Of course they look shocked, I look at em like they are from another planet... it just brings the (ex)military out in me. heh

Yeah, that always irks me when people crowd around the door of the elevator or the train and push their way in while people are trying to get out. I always shout, "LET THE PEOPLE OFF!" and get a "F*** You" for my effort.
I've always been polite, but since I'm a fan of dueSOUTH, I make an extra effort to hold doors open, stand aside and let everyone get on the bus ahead of me, etc.

Another odd trend I've noticed over the past few years is when you ask somebody something, and you don't have their full attention, they don't say "Excuse me?" or "Pardon?" anymore.
Now it's "Wha' happened?"
I tried that on my stepmom once, and she got all indignant: "Nothing happened! I was just asking..."

Given the rudeness I have witnessed here on ATS as of late, I thought this thread could use a bump... We all need to be reminded once in a while... a little courtesy goes a long, long way!

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


I am pleased that you have done this Jax.

Thank you.

Manners are a thing of the past for many, and it is a great shame.

Lack of manners is a pet hate for me. They cost nothing, take no more than a split second to use and have a profound effect on the recipient.

My kids are brought up to do the same, last term my eldests teacher said that my daughter was the only person in a class of 30 who asks how the teacher is every morning when she enters the class. She said, "It makes a difference".

If everyone gave someone else just a second of thought every now and again, and enjoyed the art of manners, this planet would be a whole better place to live.

CX.

manners by young people are really rare these days.....and have you noticed not only are manners disappearing but cussing/profanity is the norm now....i myself refuse to cuss because there is just so much of it today...i personally believe profanity is being pushed on us by tptb...they want us to talk like fools....and they probably have their hand in the decline in morals and manners...but to me when i see people who cuss i want to just ask them if they can possibly say one sentence without saying 10 cuss words. my dads calls cuss words the idiots adjectives. so please people...do not cuss...it makes you sound really dumb. and remember tptb want us to talk like that...they want us talking like fools. thank you

reply to post by Alxandro


Deleted. Realized it's an old thread and decided it's just not worth it

Originally posted by JaxonRoberts
When I was growing up (the 60's and 70's), manners were not an option. To not use expressions like 'please', 'thank you', 'excuse me' etc., was considered rude and improper. Nowadays, however, manners and decorum are a thing of the past. Children no longer ask for things in a civilized manner, instead they demand them (I work in a restaurant and see this daily), and adults are no better.

You can see it in politics. You can see it online. You can see it in the grocery store. You can see it at your favorite fast food joint (usually from the customers, but sometimes from the employees as well).

So, please tell me, what ever happened to simple manners?

And I thank you in advance for your insights on this subject!

[edit on 7-7-2009 by JaxonRoberts]

It's funny, I always try to make it a point to say "Thank you" You're welcome" "Excuse me"

Yet I never hear those things in return, is it really that hard to express a little common respect for one another in our day to day routines? I'm 25 mind you, perhaps my mother just made it a point to drill in a few common curtsy's into my head.

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


Very glad to see a thread like this. Thank you! People need to be reminded of these things. It is sad to see that so many people are no longer polite. Everyone lives in their world and they could not care less. They should care more, because if people were more polite, it would be a better world we lived in. Thanks again for bumping this!

What a great thread. I wish i had been around when you first started it; however, I am glad that you have revived it. Where, indeed, have good manners gone?

"Among the Indians there have been no written laws. Customs handed down from generation to generation have been the only laws to guide them. Every one might act different from what was considered right did he choose to do so, but such acts would bring upon him the censure of the Nation.... This fear of the Nation's censure acted as a mighty band, binding all in one social, honorable compact." ~Kah-ge-ga-bowh, Ojibwa

"...the censure of the Nation." In American and European society, a lack of manners would have once brought about the censure of society. Rudeness wasn't tolerated; adults corrected children, by word or glance, whether they were their children or not. A child having a tantrum in a grocery store, for example, would not only not get the child what it wanted from its parent, but other adults in the store would look at that parent in such a way that conveyed disapproval of their lack of parenting skills and even well-behaved children would cast looks at the ill-behaved child that showed their disapproval of the behavior. Both the ill-behaved child and the ineffective parent were censured by their peers. To do so now is not politically correct. We no longer have the "right" to be visibly annoyed by unacceptable behavior.

We have all bowed down to the idea of 'political correctness' and in doing so we have forfeited our social, honorable compact with one another. We do not receive mannerly behavior because our whole 'group-think' no longer demands manners; in fact, our 'group-think' is afraid to do so.

If we look at what all of the political correctness has done to our society, we can view society as being ill. The lack of manners and, by extension, kindness is but one symptom of the overall debilitating illness.

“Good manners are merely a series of small sacrifices that one makes throughout one's day. They are the glue that holds society together.” Unfortunately, I don't know to whom to attribute the quote, but it has stuck with me for many years. We've nearly lost our glue.