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What ever happened to 'Please' & 'Thank You'?

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posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 12:09 PM
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Originally posted by Alxandro

If one refuse to believe in God then yes they are evil, plain and simple.



Ok, I am a devout christian. With that said I would like to point out a little error you've made.

Have you ever heard the phrase "only god can judge"? To be frank it is not your place to call another human being evil (even Adolph Hitler). It is god's and god's alone. You really made a hypocrite out of yourself there. If they where really evil, would Jesus (the one you call your savior and son of said god) have hung out with hookers and miscreants? Obviously the big guy doesn't think they are as evil as you do. You should really watch what you say.

[edit on 8-7-2009 by DaMod]




posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 12:21 PM
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reply to post by intrepid
 


“It's the speed of life. Many have to work 2 jobs and then go and raise their families.”

I think that is way off the mark. People in the 1700s – mid 1900s worked a great deal harder, and without automated and mechanized help. They also worked from sun-up to sun-down. People are just poorly reared these days.



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 12:52 PM
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My dear American friends, I'm really sorry to confess that, but US citizens are known worldwide for being rude, impolite, and manners are the least of their problems.
I work in a hotel, and clearly some of your fellow citizens need to learn that "please" and "thank you" , as well as " hello" and so on, are values that need to be kept alive.

Anyway, this is contagious so, we're screwed.

cheers from France



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 01:02 PM
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Originally posted by debunky


Could that be because that isn't polite but intrusive? The thought obviously has already occured to you.
If you walk on a sidewalk and see a woman walking nearer to the street than you, do you push her towards the houses 'where she belongs' too?





That's a ridiculous notion. You went overboard with that comment. I'm a lady and I get upset if someone doesn't hold a door open for me, not because I'm a female and I deserve it, but because it's incredibly rude to let the door slam in my face just because you couldn't take a few extra seconds to hold it open for me. This goes for both men and women.

I also hold doors open for men. Women hold doors open for me.

I am absolutely amazed at some of the comments in this thread. How in the world does someone turn the act of being polite into a negative thing? Please and thank you are outlandish saying expected to be said to stroke someone's ego? Give me a break.

On the other hand, people who expect a please or thank you can go overboard too. Sometimes, I just simply forget to say it. One time, I was trying to turn left out into the center lane. The cars in the oncoming lanes stopped to leave a space for me to get through since their light was red. I pulled out and was looking all around making sure that I wasn't going to get hit by someone else also trying to get into the center lane and not paying attention (this has happened to me before and now I'm overly nervous about it). Anyway, the second I got into the lane some guy yelled, "YOUR WELCOME!" in a very sarcastic way. I didn't even have chance to raise my hand to say thanks because BOTH HANDS were on the wheel for obvious reasons and I didn't get a chance to mouth the words "thank you" because I was looking around to make sure I wasn't getting in someone's way. It really got to me.

There are obvious times when a please or thank you are warranted, but there are sometimes when you need to realize that someone either forgot or didn't have the chance.

In any case, I was brought up to be very polite and my sister teaches my niece to be the same way. She's 3 1/2 and rarely needs to be reminded to be polite. The only "problem" she still has is saying "I want" instead of "Can I have". But this is to be expected, little kids are self centered.



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 01:06 PM
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Originally posted by Darthorious


Must be a local issue where this happens. Where I'm at you get it all the time in fact so much so it's irritating at times, hearing thank-you to every response you get and please before every question. So be careful what you wish for.


Most people are polite in my area too. I'll admit that there is such a thing as being over polite. We have an IT guy who comes into our office. When I ask him to do something, I'll say, "Thank you" and he always replies, "Thank YOU". It gets a teeny tiny bit frustrating. I'm thinking, "Just say you're Welcome dangit!"


edit to add:

I'd imagine that there ARE those people who were specifically brought up NOT to be polite because they might come from a background of "high status" and being polite to someone "below them" suggests that the action taken wasn't something they deserved anyway. You know what I mean?

They might not say "thank you" because they wanted dinner you placed it on their table and that's your job, so why say thank you?

It reminds me of when I was a kid. After just about every meal I would tell my dad thank you for dinner. His response was almost always, "Don't thank me. I HAVE to make dinner for you or child services will be knocking on my door." He was obviously kidding around but I think that explains why some people don't say those things.

And they don't say please because it's beneath them to "beg" for something they deserve anyway.

I don't think this is a good excuse by any means. I just think that it explains why some people are rude.

[edit on 8-7-2009 by nunya13]



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 01:53 PM
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reply to post by JaxonRoberts
 


Please and thankyou have just been replaced by their modern equivalents;

Gimme and f--k you.



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 02:00 PM
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reply to post by Alxandro
 


What a terribly small black and white world you live in, hollow and devoid of the very shades of grey that make life interesting.

Being rude has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with how you're raised. One of the most abhorrent people I have ever met was a Calvinist. I've met arrogant preachers and the devoutly religious who refused to talk to me because of my family's low income.

I was raised atheist by a lifelong atheist, and I'm one of the most polite people I know. I hold doors because it's convenient for the other person. I say please and thank you because I honestly mean it. I always think through what I say to ensure it's appropriate, and I always look out for those in a losing situation. I know exactly why I am the way I am: because of my parents, who were children of a more honest time.

As far as your implied claim of the golden rule being a product of Abrahamic faith, you should know that the Ethic of Reciprocity is present in basically every major religion and belief system in the world, and it certainly didn't originate from the god of the desert.

Besides, you've already proven, in this thread, that Christianity isn't the source of good manners. You've shown neither kindness nor respect to Intrepid, instead calling him evil and judging him from your hypocritical high ground. The best part is that you don't even see yourself doing it.



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 02:03 PM
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On a serious note - the lack of manners is simply an overt exprssion of lack of respect.

When you are a child, if you don't learn to respect people - then you will have poor manners. To teach children manners - they need to be punished for showing lack of respect - and I don't mean telling them off.

Corporal punishment is the reason - a good smack when needed. If they are never taught respect as children - they will only learn it in life when they meet people like myself.

I am extremely respectful and show good manners - when I'm shown poor manners or disrespect I give the 'child' the smack their parents should have.

Usually my smack is thoroughly more brutal, fearful and violent than anything they have ever witnessed - and I can say I have had a 100% success ratio in improving peoples manners and level of respect.

My rule is simple - treat me with the respect that I show to you, or die screaming.

[edit on 8-7-2009 by Amagnon]



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 02:28 PM
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Originally posted by Amagnon


I am extremely respectful and show good manners - when I'm shown poor manners or disrespect I give the 'child' the smack their parents should have.

Usually my smack is thoroughly more brutal, fearful and violent than anything they have ever witnessed - and I can say I have had a 100% success ratio in improving peoples manners and level of respect.

My rule is simple - treat me with the respect that I show to you, or die screaming.

[edit on 8-7-2009 by Amagnon]


Typing this from prison are ya? You don't have the right to put your hands on anybody elses children!

If you tried that on mine, you'd be in jail so fast, your polite little . would be spinning! How rude of you to asssume that correcting the child of another person is your responsibility! I don't care how many times you say yes ma'am or yes sir, you're just plain nuts!



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 02:40 PM
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Originally posted by Alxandro


If one refuse to believe in God then yes they are evil, plain and simple.
[edit on 7-7-2009 by Alxandro]


Not believing in God does NOT make someone evil. Performing acts of evil makes someone evil. And following the golden rule is most certainly not limited to Christianity. Why is it that if Jesus said something we should abide by, then that means it's exclusive to Christianity and if anyone practices it, they are practicing Christian values? Being a good, kind person is not only reserved for Christians.

You MUST be an Ann Coulter fan. I mean you would have to be. You are promoting her same ignorant propaganda that all liberals are godless and therefore evil. I would also assume that your comment refers to people like me who don't believe in YOUR God or try to stuff what God is into a box, wrap it up with a bow, and then worship it according to a set of rules and rituals.

You really should try broadening your horizons sometime and be more accepting of your fellow human being regardless of their belief system. Jesus would be just as good a friends to a liberal as he would a conservative provided that neither was a selfish, mean-spirited person.

There are atheists who are more polite and do more good will toward others than some Christians and vice versa. I think your comments prove what I just said. They were neither accepting, nor polite and I would assume you are a Christian. But there are plenty of atheists who don't go around disparaging people for believing in God. People are only bothered by those who wish to push their beliefs on them and try to make them feel like less of a person for not believing what they do. It's not about the belief itself.



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 02:49 PM
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My own personal theory (I admit it could be pure nonsense) is that courtesy and weapons go hand in hand. Back in the day when just about everyone carried a sword, everyone was real polite all the time. Being rude could get you into a duel, which could be fatal. You wouldn't risk accidentally annoying someone, so you'd be careful to be polite (unless you were looking for a fight, of course).

As we've disarmed the public, the one overwhelming reason for courtesy has been removed. Sure, it's still nice to be courteous. I was raised up to be that way, as were many people my age or older. But it's dying out.

Is this a bad thing? I'm not sure. I dislike the change, but that doesn't automatically mean it's a bad thing. Maybe it's just a quirky formality that no longer serves a useful purpose. Kind of like capitalizing the directions (North, etc.). No one does that much any more...



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 02:55 PM
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Originally posted by MattMulder


My dear American friends, I'm really sorry to confess that, but US citizens are known worldwide for being rude, impolite, and manners are the least of their problems.

cheers from France



Now, why does the irony of that make me rofl?



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 03:02 PM
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Originally posted by MattMulder


My dear American friends, I'm really sorry to confess that, but US citizens are known worldwide for being rude, impolite, and manners are the least of their problems.
I work in a hotel, and clearly some of your fellow citizens need to learn that "please" and "thank you" , as well as " hello" and so on, are values that need to be kept alive.

Anyway, this is contagious so, we're screwed.

cheers from France


And they would be correct in many cases. However a lot of the time people are polite. In some places they even hold doors for each other! I know crazy right? Its funny that you mention that, because most Americans feel the same way about the French. This isn't an attack on your country, just an observation from living here.

I was raised kind of old fashioned therefore with manners being very high on the priority list. I know how the world thinks of us because I have seen the surprise in every European I come in contact with when I am courteous and polite (especially the Brits). It's like they weren't expecting common courtesy from an "American".

Just remember in your next french talk about those stupid Americans to mention that many of them are very decent polite people. I'm not sure how to say bull crap in french but I'm sure that will be the response you get.

[edit on 8-7-2009 by DaMod]



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 03:20 PM
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I'm only 26 years old, but I've noticed the level of rudeness increase in the last decade alone. When someone used to be disrespectful, he or she would be shunned by the social grouping. Not these days. These days it has become a social norm, and if you talk out against disrespect/rudeness, you are the one to be looked down upon...as being weak, arrogant, or just crazy! I think this is a bit insane, no?



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 03:26 PM
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Society isn't quite doomed yet:
I was delivering into a school today and a child held the door open for me!
And yes I did say 'Thx very much mate'! (I was struggling, so I really appreciated it!)

But I have noticed I don't always say please (I've been told off once or twice for forgetting
), although I always say thx, thank you, or cheers. And do my best to smile and wish people a 'nice day or a 'good weekend'.


You wouldn't believe what a smile can do:
A couple of months back, on a friday afternoon, I was in a really bad p--d off mood and driving down a country lane. I was knackered, wanted to get home and had another couple of hours work a. of me. A car came round the corner, I slammed on the brakes of my lorry and backed about 10 yds/m so the car could pass. The car driver waved a thanks and smiled.
I was in too bad a mood to smile back in the splitsecond where the car passed, but that smile was magical. It just cracked my bad mood. The warmth of that smile somehow put the smile back on my face and within about 5 min I had the radio turned up and was singing along.
Now I always try to smile when I interact with other vehicles.

So: If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!



And I have made a couple of peoples day, when they have had to reverse back and I take the time to wind the window down and congratulate them for 'very good reversing' or 'the best reversing I've seen this week'!


It doesn't take long to be polite or kind, but it can really make someones day. And as for shouting at someone they should say thankyou, I think it's rude and defeats the purpose, that sort of thing can break an already wrecked day....How about just saying (your welcome (not shouting or in a rude tone, but just loud enough so they can hear?)


Oh and as for that c-word swearing at you for holding the door open... OMG... I think I would have walked through the door, and in the worst language said something about politeness and pulled the door shut behind me.... oooohhhhh.... not good, very not good.
Although I do like that sentence about Holding doors open for ladies, but must have misidentified you. That not only shows brilliance, but it's the only way to get out of the situation on top. Absolutely brilliant... I'll try to learn from that!


Cheers for the thread mate, definitely food for thought.

Love and Blessings,
Samuel

EDIT to ADD:
A nice game is: When wishing someone a good day/weekend, look them in the eye and pause for a splitsecond and then say 'oh... and have a nice day/weekend!' Don't forget to smile! It usually changes a burned out phrase into a 'day-maker'!

[edit on 8-7-2009 by Aldolas]



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 03:27 PM
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haha, I love that video clip.

GENERAL: Yesma'am.
SENATOR: Please call me Senator
GENERAL: Yesma'am.



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 03:32 PM
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Originally posted by octotom
Or, maybe, it has to do with people subscribing to the idea that in order to truly get something, you need to show that you're confident and, showing manners shows that you're not confident/sure of yourself. Just a random though. [edit on 7/7/2009 by octotom]



I'm curious as to why you think this is true. In my ever so humble opinion whenever I see someone showing manners it makes me feel as though they are intelligent, and considerate! Intellgent because they realize that being demanding and rude only attracts same! Manner's are a way to show other people you have regard for them. It's unselfish and kind. I dare say a person who can be big enough to humble themselves before another is the highest form of confidence! For it shows they are secure within themselves and feel quite comfortable to let the other guy go first for a change!



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 03:48 PM
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Originally posted by Blanca Rose

Originally posted by Amagnon


I am extremely respectful and show good manners - when I'm shown poor manners or disrespect I give the 'child' the smack their parents should have.


Typing this from prison are ya? You don't have the right to put your hands on anybody elses children!

If you tried that on mine, you'd be in jail so fast, your polite little . would be spinning! How rude of you to asssume that correcting the child of another person is your responsibility! I don't care how many times you say yes ma'am or yes sir, you're just plain nuts!


I'm not talking about children - I'm talking about assholes who grow up and think they can treat everyone else like sh-t - as far as I'm concerned, they are still children.



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 04:21 PM
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reply to post by JaxonRoberts
 


I've noticed this often. It has a lot to do with where you live I think.

When I'm in a large city it is far more pronounced and even more so in the eastern part of the US. As I travel west or go to small rural towns people are far more friendly and polite. In the rural areas in the west it is still much the same as it was when I grew up in the 50's and 60's. People still smile and wave.

Over the 4th I had 10 days off and took a tour around the rural parts of Alaska to recharge my batteries. I immediately noticed upon leaving Anchorage how suddenly everyone had a smile and a wave and how courteous people in the stores are compared to the now oversized city of Anchorage.

I think it is from being packed into tiny areas in cities that are far to large where gangs, violence and drugs have made us no longer trust or care for each other. I can not wait until I can retire to a small town and escape having to always work in large cities which I hate for just the reasons you made this post.

One of the worst I have seen in my fairly constant travels around the US is Miami. I've developed this theory there is something in the water there
Every person I've met there is rude and uncaring and every business has tried to cheat me. Even the service staff at 4 and 5 star hotels are rude. I don't know what is going on in Miami, but I assure you it is not on my list of places to retire. Just a few miles away on the Gulf Coast it is the opposite however. Just a few miles and everyone becomes friendly and pleasant.

[edit on 7/8/2009 by Blaine91555]



posted on Jul, 8 2009 @ 04:22 PM
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Originally posted by Alxandro
Well, a lot has to do with progressive Liberal idealogies and the attempt to get rid of God.



Hi Alx

I don't think it has anything to with the above comment at all.

It's the deluded sense of entitlement people think they deserve I feel is the culprit. The one up syndrome - I need better than him/her belief.

I work with a wide variety of people and in different age groups and the there is not a pattern to the rudeness I see. Some young & old are nice and vice versa.

Simple things like asking for a coffee - just finish the sentence with a please or thanks - try even a smile, its not that difficult. It may just make that person smile.

It disgusts me really.

I was taught to be polite and show courtesy no matter what. Especially when people do not show the same respect - I actually make an extra effort then. Why? because the 1%er's. the off chance it may actually catch on.

Why this thread grabbed my eye, I hate to draw parallels to the idiot box (tv) but given so many actually believe what they see, I notice it anyway, saying please, thank you's - I beg your pardons etc are rarely said in the scripts so that could be assisting with the demise of pleasantries amongst the young and impressionable (old and silly alike). Just a thought.

Also, as many have said, online discussions /sms .... haven't help

Respect - people should try it.

thanks



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