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CHUMP (CHurch of the Uninformed Mass Populace)

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posted on Jul, 6 2009 @ 03:16 PM
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Welcome to MY religion. I just invented it. It's called The Church of the Uninformed Mass Populace. CHUMP for short.

In this new religion we do crazy things, like let people make up their OWN minds about other religions.

We don't claim to be the only ones doing it 'right.' We don't have a mission to rid the world of anyone who does not think like us, or wear the same vestments, or drink the same kind of juice, or eat the same kind of meat, or no meat at all.

We just don't give a darn about how you choose to worship your God, or even if you HAVE a God, or not, because frankly, it's none of our business.

We have grown increasingly tired and disgusted with worn out propaganda and baseless, flagrant attempts at misinformation that seem to only have been brought to light to accuse, slander or assert a misguided sense of superiority over whatever religion the speaker may or may not belong to. A person need not look far to find all the distortion they seek.

We have grown equally disgusted with countless people telling us how stupid we are to have ANY religion. We no longer care that we are being 'duped' and that religion was created to teach us all how to wash our hands. Thousands of years of religion and I still don't wash my hands as often as I should.

We don't CARE if you think Jews eat babies. We don't care if you think Christians are all hypocrites. We don't care if Muslims are going to take over the world. We don't care if we will reincarnate to a cow, only if we're lucky. We don't care if Buddhists....what is it that Buddhists do again? Anyway, I think you get the point. We don't CARE!

In OUR religion, we don't give our God a name, so that we don't have to remember one. Have you ever, in the heat of passion, called your God by the wrong name? That's embarrassing. We aim to lessen that awkward experience.

We have come to the conclusion, after much research, that people are FALLIBLE. ALL PEOPLE.

I don't want to scare you, or anything, but next time you go to your church, or temple, or mosque, or synagogue, or mushroom patch, look around. Try to be discreet about it. Chances are you are going to see them...right next to you perhaps. Fallible people, trying their hardest to make sense of it all. Yearning, reaching, trying, sometimes with all they have, to learn, grow, or just get by.

In our church, we don't have sins, we have mistakes. We have decided that it is a grave mistake for us to condemn, chastise or belittle ANYONE based on their personal beliefs and we have also decided that we will fight, tooth and nail, for anyone to believe whatever they choose.

We have decided that what is most important in our lives is not the end result. Not the measurements that a society would impose upon us, but the process we used to arrive at our deaths more informed than we were when we started out. We have decided that the gravest error we can commit is to not allow another human being the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes.

We don't have 'excommunication.' We have 'sticking our tongue out at you, making a stern look in your direction and then forgetting all about it.' If you make us REALLY mad, when it's time for cookies and punch, you might get the cookie that has the small piece missing. You know, the one that makes you think someone had a small bite of it. But in the end, we will agree to disagree and get on loving one another.

So...anyone is welcome in our gatherings, provided you aren't bringing any of that lame garbage with you about how some other religion is whack. There are NONE of us better than anyone else. Well..except maybe at like Frisbee or something, cuz mine always goes crooked, unless I throw it real hard and then sometimes it still does.




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