As I sit here contemplating my own life and past (after reading Hazelnut's sad post about her own life problems and their consequences) I came to the conclusion that, while sometimes sharing such information is tough - it is healthy, it heals and it is a (most of the time) joyful experience to share one's self with others. And what better place to do that than on here, where you don't really need to worry about being labelled, or judged. To be honest, I don't really have much to say, I just want to write out my thoughts and hear from you guys on life, your goals, and so on. So here we go I guess:
As of April 12th, I am 21. I am currently enrolled at Dalhousie University studying Engineering, where I was accepted into 2nd year Environmental/Biological; I am unsure of which I would enjoy more. I am also unsure of school as a whole. I like to consider myself intelligent, and a determined individual, and yet school is an enigma to me at times. I went in the first place basically because it was "the" thing to do. My parents have degrees. My dad went to Law school and my mom is a botanist/teacher, though she works for the government. Which is sort of why sometimes I question school. Will I even use a degree? If it is about money, there are countless other endeavors that will bring you wealth, and as long as you are capable and hardworking, you can pretty go as far as you want (atleast that's what we hear all the way back to about grade 3). Part of me relishes the idea of just dropping my existence and boarding a plane to some remote country, where I will be unknown, unusual, and completely "free". I thought about maybe hiking through rural Japan, and perhaps living with monks for a year. Or going through Manchuria (China) and studying martial arts with the Shao'lin. These are more dreams of a young me, but I'd still probably enjoy doing such things. Or traveling for the sake of traveling, and just hanging out on beaches for months, eating cheap food, and experiencing cultures so different and disconnected to that of the West. Recently I have been pretty house-ridden because I received ACL surgery on May 20th, and all I do is physio and sit around my house. I decided I would write a book and then I sat there for about 10 hours trying to think of a title and a first line. My mind then switched gears and I thought "Hey why not write a movie script/think of a movie idea, etc etc". Again, hours were spent blankly staring at my computer screen thinking of what to type. I think I find it difficult to motivate myself at times and this is why I get rather spontaneous ideas that last, say, a week, and then die. I'm 21 and I feel old, which I know I'm not, but I'm sure you all know what I mean. Every birthday goes by, and it feels like I am not really using my life as best as I could. But "how else would I use it?" asks my inner voice. "What would I change?" I don't think I can drop the school path because it is what I wish to do. I want to be on the cutting edge of science and technology, and surely engineering is a helpful path to something like that. I also had thought of switching universities and simply going into Science with a major in Physics/Astronomy. That is more pure I believe, and really brings you to the edge of modern progress. Once again though, I simply read about this kind of thing in my monthly issues of Scientific American and Discovery Magazine. I am not sure if I just like reading about progress more than being part of it. It is a way of gathering information and knowledge about the world I use to broaden my view of life. But does that mean I actually want to study it? Obviously these aren't "problems" or anything like that, I merely like to talk with people and express my thoughts and what not. Please share with me your own "stories-in-progress". I'll write more in a bit. Dinner time!

Hey man thanks for you reply! I will definitely check that book out. Sounds fascinating, and the trail it (I hope) will lead you on sounds just as awesome to be honest. I would love to put such an adventure on my list of things to do...my bucket list. My ramble was a bit broad now that I went through it again, but it shows just how many random ideas I come up every day. I guess thats a good thing, but it sort of distracts me in a way. Oh well it's glad to hear I sound like a 21 year old though! As for all the religiously founded celebrations and parades, etc etc, I would love that to be honest. No born-again's preaching about original sin over in Europe (atleast not as common). Most Europeans who are religious are pretty mellow, and my experience with Europeans is "you do what you want and I'll do what I want". I can appreciate the beauty and history of religion in Europe, and the dark side as well. I realize this is pretty much the stereotypical "poor student looking for fun" trip, but I really want to see Thailand at some point. I love all asian cuisines and cultures, and from what I've heard, it's one of the cheapest ways to enjoy a winter. School is school though, I guess I have to decide on which one to go to here in a bit. Vancouver or Halifax. Pretty bizarre dilemma

I found this and read what you wrote.
The thread ,you and I have been thrashing each other over,has about finished it's course.
At the beginning,I was really dead set against you.I am still, in the
opinion,you are wasting your time on topics you don't believe in.
After reading this,even more so.I feel you should focus your attention
on topics that inspire,encourage and help you grow as a person.
Sometimes, I feel some on this website just like to pick a fight and
sit back and enjoy the show.
My last few posts on your thread I started calling you,monkey of
chaos!By that time I was finding humor in the thread.I started to
ignore digs and let my"clown side show". Funny you should mention
clowning,I used to dress up as a clown.Full face make-up,wig,funny
hat and I had a bicycle horn I would toot at people.
I am 54 years old and I have only been a christian since turning 50.
The church I go to doesn't force it's beliefs onto others.You have a
choice in what you believe and what you don't.I do try to defend my
faith,but,I would never try and force someone to believe my point
of view.
Right now you have a lot of time on your hands,because of your
medical condition.Decide what you really want out of life and do it!
Talk to your parents and discuss options.You mentioned going abroad,
travelling through rural japan,studying martial arts...
You could do exactly that and continue your education.You have to
live a little while you can.Once your education is finished,you're
expected to find a career or job.You would eventually get married
and raise a family.Then you wouldn't have time just for yourself,you
would have responsibilities.
I hope you will listen to me.I have been a mother for over 34 years,
I've been a grandmother for 12 years.My second husband is 73 and
is an IT specialist.My stepson is a regular on ATS.He just signed
a contract to be on talk radio and have articles he's written published.
That could be something you could do now.But, write about topics
you like and share with others.
I am looking forward to your next thread,your "foe" mamabeth.

Hi makinho21,

I think that you are using your life as best you can. Simply due to the fact that you are on ATS. Life is like a fox hunt. On a hunt there is usually only a few foxs ahead of the pack that have their eye on the price. They are figuring things out. The rest of the foxs behind them...well..they are just following arses. The fact that your here trying to figure things out for yourself shows your ahead of the pack. cool.