How I Lost My Daughter to Paradise - Jehovah's Witnesses

reply to post by Hazelnut


This is one of the vile human beings of whom I speak.

Has to be so absolutely miserable with life. Thrives on hatred.

But see? he's attacking me too!

I REST MY CASE.

Peace to the OP; Crap on the trolls.
liw

We are all the products of the choices we make in life.

You chose to have a child at 21 when you were not in a position to support either it, or yourself, forcing you to rely first on others, and then (naturally) on the state.

Of all the possible careers open to you, you then chose arguably the worst for a single parent, and one guaranteed to take you away from your child both during training, and any overseas assignments - the military, placing your child with a woman you knew to be unbalanced, and then marrying a violent drunk somewhere along the way.

After all this, we are supposed to vilify the Jehovah's Witnesses for the evil and destruction they have visited on your life via your mother, and their destructive "cult".

Well I'm sorry, but when you want to find someone to blame for what has happened in your life, and more importantly in the life of your child, don't curse at the heavens, try a mirror.

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting
reply to post by Hazelnut

 

This is one of the vile human beings of whom I speak.

Has to be so absolutely miserable with life. Thrives on hatred.

But see? he's attacking me too!

I REST MY CASE.

Peace to the OP; Crap on the trolls.
liw

Your case was proved by that response to your post. You are way above and beyond pettiness. You are a good person, I can feel it strongly.

I've come a very long way since the events of the OP. I never once tried to make myself sound like an innocent victim. I made mistakes that will last a lifetime, mistakes that affected many people. I did not ask for it, nor did I handle everything perfectly.

The struggles in life seem to be more than we can handle at times. People who power-up on the misfortunes of others are prime candidates for religious, political, racial, sexual, class, and intellectual divisions.

Those who strive to do better, to make amends, to share personal hardships for the benefit of others are my heros. People make choices in life, sometimes the choices turn out to beneficial, sometimes those choices lead to disaster. The only option one has in trying times is to either, rise above it or fall into the pit of despair, guilt and hate.

I choose not to hate.

reply to post by Hazelnut


Have you gotten a restraining order yet?

Originally posted by Hazelnut
reply to post by ninecrimes

 

Let me guess...You have never made a wrong choice or a bad decision that affected someone else? You have always had the love and support of a close-knit family and loving guidance throughout your childhood. You've been educated by the system and have a strong religious foundation. You have never been abandoned or suffered starvation, homelessness, physical abuse, rape or mental coersion? You have no foundation to understand what isolation is or what demonization might entail from firsthand experience.

If all of the above fits, then I'm happy for you. Not everyone has the benefit of proper upbringing.

Your guesses are not only inaccurate, but totally ignorant. It seems to me that you are retardant to self-reflection.

Get real, lady. Most of the greatest spiritual teachers (path to happiness, not hurting others, etc) had way more-harsh lives than you.

I think your problem is that you just want to "accept" your rough life, and expect sympathy from others. However, you fail to realize that almost everyone has rough lives and for you to expect anything, from anyone, without being willing to try your hardest to recover, is just not realistic.

You should be ashamed of yourself and the life you've provided for your children. And the worst part is that your children will most likely continue the viscous cycle, having lots of illegitimate babies and blaming it on everyone but themselves, blaming the fruits of everyone else's labor (you've already said they are continuing your legacy).

reply to post by ninecrimes


Ninecrimes, have you ever heard the expression "Hindsight is 20/20?"

I think it applies here very much. It's easy to judge people based on decisions they made, isn't it? But it's not so easy to be the ones making the decisions when you have no idea how they'll actually turn out.

Originally posted by mattifikation
reply to post by ninecrimes

 

Ninecrimes, have you ever heard the expression "Hindsight is 20/20?"

I think it applies here very much. It's easy to judge people based on decisions they made, isn't it? But it's not so easy to be the ones making the decisions when you have no idea how they'll actually turn out.

It should not take "Hindsight" to tell you to NOT reproduce with an abusive alcoholic.

I read this somewhere and it stuck with me, concerning our mistakes:

Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves for being YOUNG.

I cringe thinking about some of the things I did when I was in my teens and twenties. I think maybe we (those of us who are grown), all do.

It's a point worth thinking about. At least, for us imperfect humans.

reply to post by ninecrimes


And from the entire thread all you understood was that I reproduced with an abusive alcoholic. Well thank you for your responses to my and other members replies. I don't know you and don't want to know you. All I can hope is that somehow, someway, someday, people will rise above their own misconceptions and make the world a better place for all living creatures.

I await your story so that I can share my heartfelt conclusions about your life's decisions and their outcomes. Until then, please remember that what goes around comes around my friend.

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting
I read this somewhere and it stuck with me, concerning our mistakes:

Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves for being YOUNG.

I cringe thinking about some of the things I did when I was in my teens and twenties. I think maybe we (those of us who are grown), all do.

It's a point worth thinking about. At least, for us imperfect humans.

Instead of simply forgiving yourself for it, you should try to recognize your mistakes and grow from them. Then, maybe you wouldn't be a "grown adult" who is still ranting online about the horrendous deeds of their childhood?

Maybe if instead of just "forgiving", if you had actually GROWN, you wouldn't be such a failure? Maybe if you had GROWN from your mistakes, your children wouldn't be destined to continue down the same path you never saw the end of?

I just hope everyone sees my point, which is that this thread is nothing but a selfish cry for sympathy, and at no point acknowledges the fact that these children were born illegitimately, and to an admitted alcoholic, abusive man... How much common sense does it take to see through the woes for sympathy, to the core- which is a stupid girl who probably peaked in high school and boinked the star of her high school football team, only to realize in the end, that she should have been leading a more productive life, rather than reproducing several times as a teen?

Originally posted by Hazelnut
reply to post by ninecrimes

 

And from the entire thread all you understood was that I reproduced with an abusive alcoholic. Well thank you for your responses to my and other members replies. I don't know you and don't want to know you. All I can hope is that somehow, someway, someday, people will rise above their own misconceptions and make the world a better place for all living creatures.

I await your story so that I can share my heartfelt conclusions about your life's decisions and their outcomes. Until then, please remember that what goes around comes around my friend.

So you are fine, knowing that you have turned one failure (yourself) into several (your children)? If I were you, I would have stopped at NOTHING to get them back- instead of folding like a cheap poker hand, like you've admitted to doing.

Not to mention, one of your little failures has already created two more?

It's a vicious, vicious cycle- and you are the sole proprietor. Stop trying to get pitty on an internet forum for your horrendous mistakes (reproducing as a teenager with someone who did not care about you).

reply to post by ninecrimes


I think we all understand your point of view. The horse is dead now.

Bye bye!

[edit on 6-7-2009 by ladyinwaiting]

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting
reply to post by ninecrimes

 

I think we are understand your point of view. The horse is dead now.

Bye bye!

I like the quote in your signature... maybe if the OP has taken it to heart, she would have not given up fighting for her children? (My point- don't be such a hypocrite)

Originally posted by ninecrimes

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting
I read this somewhere and it stuck with me, concerning our mistakes:

Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves for being YOUNG.

I cringe thinking about some of the things I did when I was in my teens and twenties. I think maybe we (those of us who are grown), all do.

It's a point worth thinking about. At least, for us imperfect humans.

I just hope everyone sees my point, which is that this thread is nothing but a selfish cry for sympathy, and at no point acknowledges the fact that these children were born illegitimately, and to an admitted alcoholic, abusive man... How much common sense does it take to see through the woes for sympathy, to the core- which is a stupid girl who probably peaked in high school and boinked the star of her high school football team, only to realize in the end, that she should have been leading a more productive life, rather than reproducing several times as a teen?

Ahem, if you had read the whole thread you would have learned that I was married to each of my children's fathers. What part of married is illegitimate? You also would have learned that my mother abandoned me and my siblings when I was almost 14 years old after dumping my real father and marrying his brother. I did not attend high school since I was busy working and trying to survive as a homeless, unwanted teenager for six years. Just so ya know, my IQ is extremely high, I never give up and never quit. I have overcome more in the first 30 years of my life than you will ever have the misfortune to experience. You could learn something from me that would make your life and the life of those closest to you - BETTER.

I don't want sympathy from you or even understanding. You are entitled to think and feel whatever you choose.

You are a piece of work, ya know?

I am embarrassed for ATS that this is on the front page. many of you have legitimate issues with JW's but the OP just has an excuse for a pity party and many of you have been duped into supporting the OPs delusions of innocenece. Anyone who has had a tough go of it and has children can see that the OP is blaming everyone else but herself and it is all about how SHE has been wronged.
Have you people actually read the entire thread before posting your support? the oldest daughter is now 27, the mother is dead, ALL of her children were eventually taken away from her LEGALLY ALL of them not just the "favorite" of the grandmother. Her children said their 3rd stepfather sexually abused them and she " just did not believe them" with no investigation.
I agree that religions in all shapes and forms can cause great grief but in this case it is maybe 15% religion and 85% delusional birth mother.
Hindsight is great if you are willing to see YOUR mistakes and strive to make amends with those you have hurt but that it is not the case here. OP sees everyones else at fault and only strives to be relieved of her own guilt.

I feel for ya honey. Got 2 of my own. If I thought for a second anyone in my family was gonna pull something like that, there might have been a mysterious death in the family. My children deserve a break from my family's dysfunctional past, if only for the fact that they are innocent of it. My heart breaks for you. Unless they've been wholly brainwashed, get them back at all costs, but do it smartly.


PG

reply to post by Hazelnut


OMG Give me a break! You have no idea what he has had to endure during his life. You are NOT the only person who has had a difficult life.
absolutely unbelievable

i feel so bad for you,,,,,




but,,,, you have gotten some great feedback from members,,,,,,

i would send a copy of this whole thread to your mom,,,, granted she's so brainwashed it wouldn't change anything,,,, but maybe, just maybe it would make a little wrinkle on her

of course erase all evidence of ats,, and the conspiracy part,,,,, your mom,,, that crazy b-tch would surely use that against you in the future as well,,, right????


ps.,, i don't get jehovah's wit,,,, if only 38,000 get in heaven,,,, would you go around trying to recruite more people,,,,, that seems rather backwards to me

Originally posted by SEEWHATUDO
I am embarrassed for ATS that this is on the front page. many of you have legitimate issues with JW's but the OP just has an excuse for a pity party and many of you have been duped into supporting the OPs delusions of innocenece. Anyone who has had a tough go of it and has children can see that the OP is blaming everyone else but herself and it is all about how SHE has been wronged.
Have you people actually read the entire thread before posting your support? the oldest daughter is now 27, the mother is dead, ALL of her children were eventually taken away from her LEGALLY ALL of them not just the "favorite" of the grandmother. Her children said their 3rd stepfather sexually abused them and she " just did not believe them" with no investigation.
I agree that religions in all shapes and forms can cause great grief but in this case it is maybe 15% religion and 85% delusional birth mother.
Hindsight is great if you are willing to see YOUR mistakes and strive to make amends with those you have hurt but that it is not the case here. OP sees everyones else at fault and only strives to be relieved of her own guilt.

None of my children were taken from me legally. Two were taken illegally, by force and manipulation. Two were taken in a divorce that I could not fight financially. Getting a loan to pay for a divorce and custody of the minors was not possible. Since, I did not have the means to pay for an attorney, nor the family support needed to raise children, I was not able to get custody of my youngest two.

The sexual abuse allegations were lies. It only took 8 years to prove it. By then it was too late.

All of my children will defend me with their dying breaths because they know what happened. We are all wiser and better for the turmoil that has been set upon our paths.

As for your embarrassment for ATS? Write a post asking to have this removed. Good luck.

reply to post by ninecrimes


This will be the last time I respond to you.

Why don't you change your username to "tencrimes" ?

Because to deliberately try to hurt another human being is a crime in anyone's book.

I pity you. Not the OP, she faced her mistakes long ago, if you bother to read the thread.

It's you I pity. I only hope you write these cruel things because you are young, and don't know any better. And one day you will look back on this, and realize "OMG, what was I thinking".

You have a lot of growning to do. As a human being.