posted on Jul, 5 2009 @ 04:43 PM
My daughter turned 27 this year. She was my first child, born five days after my twenty-first birthday. She was the first baby I ever held. I
didn't know anything about babies. Circumstances being what they were, my mother was the first person to see my little girl in the delivery room,
the first person to hold her and the first person to bathe her. Mom helped me by showing me what to do. If it hadn't been for her, I don't know
how many mistakes I would have made out of sheer ignorance.
After four months, I was feeling like an old hand at mothering. Mom was still as helpful as ever. Too much so because she wouldn't let me make any
decisions regarding my baby. Mom would tell me what was best and I was supposed to listen and follow instructions. Did I mention that we lived with
my mom and step-father? Well, we did. And the problems started when I decided that I wanted to take care of my daughter by myself.
I signed up for government assistance and found a place for us. Having mom dictate every move was getting annoying, enough to go on welfare. I moved
us into our new place. Mimi and Pappy visited almost everyday, remaining a huge part of our lives. They were very attached to my daughter.
Mom was studying the Bible with Jehovah's Witnesses and getting more serious about it. She struggled with quitting smoking for a couple of years as
one of the requirements of baptism in her cult. One day, when my daughter was one year old, mom accidentally burned her with a cigarette. That was
the last one she ever smoked. She wanted my "perfect" daughter to grow up with a good example to follow so she quit.
I married my daughter's step-father the next year. It was a struggle from the beginning. A struggle between my religiously fanatical mother and my
new alcoholic husband. During the next three year turmoil I had another daughter who my mother barely said "boo" to. My first one was her favorite
and mom devoted herself to saving my little girl's everlasting life. Mom believed that God would destroy Satan's followers at Armageddon. She also
believed that anyone who was not a Jehovah's Witness was a servant of Satan, including me.
Here is where the conspiracy starts.
I told my mother that I was not interested in her religion. I was not interested in her teaching my daughter her religion. I did not want her
telling my daughter that I was a servant of Satan. It gets worse, but I'll leave that part alone for now. It's too emotional.
When my daughter was five, I decided to join the Army so that I could take care of my children without the need of a man. The man I had chosen was a
violent alcoholic who put the entire house under stress and duress. I thought that I could do a better job of raising my kids if I had the military
on my side. I was raised by an Air Force father and felt more comfortable in the service than as a civilian.
Mom agreed to take temporary guardianship of my two girls while I was in basic and advanced technical school. It should have been no more than six
months. Although leaving my kids was the most gut-wrenching thing I've ever done, I did it knowing that the price for our future would be worth the
Long story short. Mom would not relinquish my daughter to me. I took care of all required court proceedings to restore full guardianship to me and
rescind guardianship for her. But Mom would not let go.
She enlisted the help of her congregation to get my daughter back. My daughter was riddled with guilt and fear. She loved me and wanted to live with
me but her grandma (Mimi) said that I was a devil worshipper and she was afraid of me. My being in the Army proved it and she could not be sure I
even loved her because Mimi said I abandoned her. So, she didn't want to live with me.
I was dumbstruck and could not process the emotional turmoil. I didn't want to harm my daughter who by now, believed with her whole heart that
leaving her Mimi would cause the demons to attack her. OMG! I didn't know what to do except beg my mother to stop telling her all those awful
things. I told her that I wouldn't let her see my daughter again if she didn't promise to stop teaching her about Jehovah's Witnesses. Mom
refused and told me that if I didn't let my daughter go, I was as good as murdering her everlasting soul.
I crumbled and allowed my little girl to stay with my mother for the next several years. I saw her less and less. She didn't want to see me.
Eventually I found out that she was terrified of both me and my mother. She couldn't understand right from wrong, good from bad. Even worse, she
could not make a decision for herself. She could only copy what other people did, let other people think for her and lead her life for her.
By the time she was twelve, I decided the only way to save her was to kidnap her from my mother. So, I did. I brought her across state lines and
enrolled her in therapy and school. I did everything I could think of to convince her I love her and mean her no harm.
Within six months, while I was at work, the Sheriff came with a warrant for my arrest on the grounds of neglect and abandonment from a Kentucky
juvenile court judge. The grounds stated were that the mother "was incarcerated on felony non-child support". I live in Ohio and the Ky. order was
signed hours before I had been arrested! It would have taken my mother at least two hours to drive to my home after getting the court order. So, if
she had gotten the order first thing in the morning and drove straight to my house, she still would have gotten there before the warrant was served,
at noon, on Friday.
By the time I got out four days later (on my own recognizance) my husband had taken my daughter out of school and hidden her away, thwarting my
mother's plan. But the plan was only the first step. I found out later that my daughter, with the aide and assistance of her guidance counselor had
been in constant contact with my mother since I enrolled her in school, despite my explicit instructions to NOT allow anyone contact with her during
My daughter kissed me goodbye that morning before school and said see ya later. But I found out that she knew that would be the day her Mimi was
coming to get her - in secret.
I did everything I could think of to stop my mother from influencing my daughter. But I lost. My daughter lost. There was nothing I could do to
prevent her from trying to get my daughter back. Six months later, my daughter went on court-ordered visitation with her grandparents and father. On
the day I was supposed to pick her up, I received notification from Children's Services that my daughter had been awarded temporary emergency custody
to her father on the grounds of physical, mental and emotional abuse by me and her step-father.
The story doesn't end there. But that is how I lost my daughter to "paradise", according to Jehovah's Witnesses and my mother.
Edited the Title for clarity
[edit on 5-7-2009 by Hazelnut]