What's in a name? A lot.

Shakespeare said "what's in a name?". But is there something, really? Can a name define a person? Can it affect someone's personality? Can calling someone by a different name change their behavior unconsciously? I think it's not only possible, but a fact.

Some time back, I noticed that I had begun to feel increasingly uncomfortable and detached from one of my closest friends, after years of sharing a close, almost brother-like friendship. But I just couldn't understand why. I could never put my finger on it. I couldn't seem to find a reason, and kept telling myself it was just a phase and it would blow over. But it didn't. I spoke less, shared less, and just plain acted like a different person around him. It was so bad, even he noticed. And the whole thing made him feel weird. But recently, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I found that everything was back to normal, and I was again back in my comfort zone when I was hanging out with him. Everything was fine. And I still couldn't figure out what had gone wrong. Until he told me.

He told me it was the nickname he used to call me. He'd called me by my name all these years. But somewhere in the middle, he started with a nickname, and now I realize that's where the uncomfortable feelings started. Later he thought about it, and experimented to see how I would respond to him using my actual name to call me again. And it worked. All the weird behavior vanished! When I look back, I can't even say that I disliked the nickname. It was short, catchy, and sounded good. Yet, subconsciously, I must not have liked it or something. There's no other explanation. And it never even struck my that it could've been my name!

Later, I talked to a lot of people about this, to see if they could relate to it, and they did! Many told me how calling their partners 'honey', 'sweetie', their actual names or some nicknames all made them respond differently. Even when dealing with people around you, a simple sentence such as "*****, can you do this for me?" can have a variety of results or responses, purely based on how you address them at the start of the sentence, ie. what you fill the ***** with. Some names/forms of addressing can elicit a positive response, while others call out a negative one. All this while the person being addressed is totally unaware of the difference themselves. So in some subconscious level, we have preferences as to what we want to be called. Even though some names might have stuck with us for ages, we're not necessarily used to them. And sometimes, the same name can bring out totally different responses in someone, depending on who is addressing them.

This is what I've inferred so far. But I want to know what you think. Is it possible that we respond to different names differently, while being unaware of it, even if we think we're entirely ok or comfortable with them? Have you ever seen or experienced something like this?

Of course, totally possible.
When you say a name, or someone says it to you, the sounds of the letters, the syllables...all either resonate well with you..or they don't, like nails on a chalkboard.
That is why some people just aren't comfortable speaking certain words as well I'm sure.
Names/ words..can be like music to someone's ears..or screeching tires.



hubpages.com...




[edit on 3-7-2009 by AccessDenied]

True. That's what I think. Also considering that a person's name is the most important word in the whole world to him. It comes with baggage of sentimental value. The one word in the world that means YOU. It's no wonder if we're picky about it. But it's interesting how we don't realize it.

Great thread, S&F. I agree it is a very obvious fact that names are defining. They all carry subconscious connotations, sometimes of other words, sometimes of other people or things that share the same name, but all names carry some vibration.

apparently alot,,


my mom wanted to name me urijah,,,, thank god my sister fought hard for me,,, i owe her big for nopt letting them name me that!!!!

i would have gotten beat up and ridiculed through school probably being called urine, eurethra etc etc


thanks sis,,,,, love johnny

I agree darklord

I still don't like to see my entire name spoken or written down. It's not a weird name (quite the opposite, my last name is one of the most common surnames in the world), but something deep down inside me just doesn't like the way my first and last names interact. Separately, I don't mind either of them, but when together it makes me uneasy for some reason.

Years ago, when I used to be involved heavily in spiritual learning, I was taught how to uncover my original name, one that goes back to the time when I was first created. That name is one I cherish, and gives me strength to hear. Not saying it's got to be true, but in my experience it has given me positive feelings compared to my current name, which makes me feel uneasy and less confident that usual.

reply to post by shortywarn

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lol! Urijah is so unique! Who knows, if you had actually been named that, it might have resonated better with you than your present name. And getting bullied only makes you tougher

Out of curiosity, what language does the name Urijah come from? Any idea what it means?

reply to post by shamus78

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Yeah I know what you're saying. Certain names just don't feel right together. But wow! You found out your original name! What I'd give to find out mine! My spiritual awakening only happened some months ago, and I haven't yet spiritually evolved enough to even know how to go about doing that. Maybe one day...

I'm kind of the opposite , my first name is Andrew, and I've never really liked the name .
Most people have been calling me by my nick name Drew since primary school , and I like it .
One of my friends started calling me by my first name for the past couple of years now , prolly just to annoy me .
But since then we've drifted apart .
Coincidence ?
I don't know , theres probably something to your theory

That is cool, if you believe in Numerology they believe your name is given for a reason, and you have personality based on the number value of your letters. Mines works out to something strange indeed.
I wondered the same thing you did and I like Lord of the Rings stuff where a person is named one thing to one group and another calls them something else, Strider, Aragorn, etc
I cant stand my full name used because it is only ever said by a angry girlfriend or when I was younger, angry parents

I agree 100%

When I was in my teens I dated this guy and he called me Allie, no one else in my life had never called me "Allie" because it simply just didn't fit who I am but this one person decided it did, so anytime he'd call he'd be like "Hi is Allie there?" and if I herd this my skin would crawl, me and my mom would make fun of it because it was just funny to us.
I ended up breaking up with him it just gave me bad feelings towards him, like he didn't really know who I was.

But than, when a person calls me "Al" it makes me feel good like they care about me and are close to me, It's probably because that's what I grew up around with all my loved ones calling me.

And forget "honey" "sweetie" "baby" I find those all condescending and make me want to puke honestly and I can't take a person seriously for using them.

But yeah anyway, it's really interesting I think a lot of it may be connected to our child hood.

reply to post by darklord

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There sure is a lot in a name as to how you respond to it.

I have always hated my name, but I don't mind my nickname which everyone calls me except maybe in a business environment, when I still hate that name.

But I think it also has to do with the tone of voice, facial expression and body language of the person who is addessing you.

For example, I suspect that I hate my name because it was always said with a frown and stern voice when I was in trouble. My nickname, on the other hand, was/is used in a friendly or affectionate manner.

reply to post by darklord

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Thanks. I decided to stop my journey because I felt I wasn't learning enough about myself, more other peoples beliefs. Still, once you begin, you can never stop completely.

One thing I have to say, and it's just my opinion (no disrespect intended to anyone else's beliefs):

Everything you want to learn is already inside you. Following a path dictated by other people will just lead you into believing somebody else's beliefs. Once you are aware of yourself, you can read your history.

Just my thought's on the matter.

reply to post by Ridhya

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Nah I haven't heard of this Numerology business before , can you give me a link or something to work it out ?

Thanks

Yep i believe this too, you have a certain vibration. So who knows what is a good name, is there more too it, i think its probably more compilcated than we know, it is not just the name.

Shamus-

How would one go about finding their "original" name? This is something I've never heard of but I am intrigued. Do you have any links to resources that I could check out?

As for the original topic, I think there may be some truth in this.

I hated my name as a child. I went so far as to make up a name I liked better and insisting people call me by it. I even had school shirts embroidered with the alternate name.

As a teenager, I would refuse to date someone based on how their last name sounded with my first name. It's funny because I don't particularly like the way my husband's last name sounds when paired with my first name so I've taken to using my maiden name as a middle name.

Now, I'm feircely protective of my first name. Although I know this is horrible, I automatically dislike someone if they have the same first name as me. This doesn't happen too often since I have a rarer name, but there are a few famous people that I absolutley refuse to like because they have my name.

However, I still don't like my name and I cringe when I have to introduce myself to someone. The way it sounds when I (or anyone for that matter) says it, just grates on me.

reply to post by Ridhya

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Well Ridhya, I don't really have any kind of an opinion on numerology, but I did get my name read once. The Expression number and Soul Urge number and their related personality traits were more or less true about myself, but the Life Path sounded like someone made a list of all the things I was not! lol!

Takka, try this link www.numerologist.com... .

My name is Blake,

sometimes people call me blakey, blakester, cubby, or blaker. Danm that gets complicated. I have come to enjoy the name, it is pretty solid, to be honest alot of foreigners pronounce my name Blaka it is as if their language cannot account for this syntax. My sister wants to call her child Trick, at first this sounds sort of strange but when you combine it with my last name Svehlak, then you have the name Trick Svehlak which is the sickest thing of all time. He will be a golfer for sure. BTW I think nicknames are cool as long as they do not have negative effects on your life.

reply to post by pop_science

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That, right there, is exactly what I'm talking about. You seem pretty much in tune with your feelings on different names you've been called. Most people might not even notice, but it still affects them.

reply to post by shamus78

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I wanted to ask you why you said "when I used to b involved", but thought it might be a typo. I feel after a certain level of spiritual growth, you can't STOP evolving. It becomes part of who you are.

What you say about living other people's beliefs is also true. But then, spiritual journeys can be on the same path as self-discovery right? I think ideally they both should be the same.

And yeah, how did you find out your original name?