Is it OK to U2U someone who has violated T&C(by insulting you) in one of your threads?

What I mean, as it is hard to fit it into the title is this: I recently had occasion to report someone for using profanity aimed at me in a reply to one of my posts. Now I have no issues with someone disagreeing with me, that's what ATS is all about, but to call me a such and such was too much I felt. So I pressed the ALERT button and reported it.

Being only human I went on to reply to the post in a calm but off topic manner. I know this was wrong, I appologised to the mod who called me out on this. I have no issues there, I was in the wrong.

My question is should I have U2U this guy and told him what I felt?

Or it is just better to leave it there?

I know the replying in an off topic and defensive way is wrong, but is telling them that in a U2U okay?

Any advice would be much appreciated!

kiwifoot




[edit on 1-7-2009 by kiwifoot]

reply to post by kiwifoot


It's best to just ignore them, otherwise it could escalate.
A mod will review the post, and remove it usually, or at least remove the bits against T&C.
Don't let someone else drag you against the T&C.

I wouldn't as that could turn confrontational quickly. Remember that the T&C applies to u2u's as well. Once you report something let the staff handle it. It's not automatic as the staff needs time to discuss it sometimes.

reply to post by kiwifoot


Chears guys, I guess I knew as much really. I didn't know (although I am not surprised on refelction) about the T&C applying to U2Us.

Thanks again!

Kiwi


[edit on 1-7-2009 by kiwifoot]

You might like this Cracked.com article - It's quite comical but they do back it up with real life personality disorders... 6 new personality disorders caused by internet

I think you may of found a number 6...

#6.
Online Intermittent Explosive Disorder (a.k.a. The Thin-Skinned Rage-o-holic)

Like serial killers, these people seem pretty normal at first. For hours or even days, they'll carry on funny, charming conversations in a forum or comment section. But then something, anything, sets him off and he devolves into a tantrum that would make Christian Bale say, "Dude, calm down! Jesus."

reply to post by kiwifoot


I too allowed my emotions to get involved in a string of posts by a particular member where they were name calling and slamming someone else. I should have let that slide instead of doing what I always try not to by bringing myself down to their level.

As for the U2U idea. Well, I would simply let it go. Reply in the thread. Touch on your subject so it's still on topic but call them out in public.

reply to post by Now_Then


O dear, that's me to a tee!

At least there's a name for my disorder, it's the not knowing that was killing me!

Sad story KiwiFoot ..

Hope it turned out ok..

But, take no crap from any one !!! Stand on your feet and hold your beliefes... It matters none but all ...

allow me to quote the esteemed Springer:
"Never argue with an idiot, he'll only bring you down to his level and beat you with experience!"

reply to post by kiwifoot


I'll resist the temptation to try and find out who exactly did this dastardly deed.
Ignore them that's what the ignore feature is all about.

Or Aboot as my Canadian Fiance would say AY?

Originally posted by SLAYER69
reply to post by kiwifoot

 

I'll resist the temptation to try and find out who exactly did this dastardly deed.
Ignore them that's what the ignore feature is all about.

Or Aboot as my Canadian Fiance would say AY?

Thanks for not doing that, although it's all been replaced now with "Off topic post" etc!

Thanks for al the replies and advice, I have taken it all on board!

Some people take this stuff way too seriously.

Remember that on the net, nothing is at it appears, it could be a nun who just told you that you have cranial rectal inversion.

people u2u me sometimes if they want to continue a debate which might get us both banned but mostly i dont bother, if someone is an idiot enough that i cant talk with them in public i dont want to waste my time with them in private (mostly).

However i've never used profanity directed at anyone, maybe if i had they wouldnt have bothered?

What i would say is, if you want to speak to the person some more then u2u them if you don't then don't - just remember, be polite and as you started the conversation don't be shocked at a blunt response.

Originally posted by Now_Then
You might like this Cracked.com article - It's quite comical but they do back it up with real life personality disorders... 6 new personality disorders caused by internet

That's gold! Thanks for pointing me in the way of that article! I'll be sure to send that on to a few people I know here!

IRM

I don't recommend u2uing to continue a debate, but sometimes apologies are in order. I have had to u2u an apology in the past for T&C transgressions.

And I also have been threatened with physical violence in a u2u. Whoa, it takes a real man to type a threatening message from a safe distance.


[edit on 4-7-2009 by whaaa]

reply to post by Now_Then


That was a great read, I work in the mental health field and oddly enough there is some truth to this, soo going to print this out and show it to some co workers and have a laugh cause I know for me Ive come across these types for sure.

Thanks for posting.

reply to post by kiwifoot


If you know them from posting on ATS and you know they aren't trolling, that's when you would want to say something.

I've only been insulted once.. And it was in a post by someone I've known for a long time. I knew they weren't a troll. Honestly, they are just of the personality that they didn't even realize what they were doing. I called him out on his attitude in a brief U2U and he gave me a very long apology in a U2U response he sent back.

Short story, I'm glad I sent him the U2U. Mainly because very few people who feel attacked or insulted actually confront the person that did it. They usually just try to "bite back" in a response of their own and the trolling continues. Because I called him out on it in private, he explained to me why he did what he did. We gave each other a U2U hug and life goes on..

Now, we can openly disagree in any thread we post in but we have a mutual respect for one another's viewpoints and we don't attack one another like we used to. Even though this one particular person still sometimes sounds like he's attacking other people (which he really isn't). I think he mainly just wanted to put things in perspective in his own way. Even if it did sound arrogant and inconsiderate. Some people on ATS just have this kind of personality. They are not always trolls.

-ChriS