Anti-depressants... your own experiences...

My strange little trip started after an emotional explosion at work when a good friend of mine did something that irritated me. I'm generally a calm, laid back guy...who's really hard to anger. The kind of guy that you can hit in the head with a 2x4 and would likely not act on it unless you did it again. Well, I had been depressed for awhile and always kind of withdrawn/shy...and on this given day I literally went after him and wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp.

Realizing that something was obviously not right here... I went to my doctor and described the problems I had been having. I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder and put on paxil.

It helped a lot within about a week. However, the side effects were pretty dramatic. I certainly didn't have any more emotional outbursts...in fact it was hard at times to show any emotion. Paxil completely prevented me from highs and lows and I began to live a "middle of the road" life. This actually hurt me bad for the 3 or so years I was on it...as I had no ambition to do anything other than vegetate. I also got the sexual side effects...my wife actually appreciated this at first...but after a few months of hour long attempts to "finish", even she had just about had enough of it.

So, at around the 2.5 year mark...I decided I was going to get off this crap. This was honestly one of the hardest things I've EVER done in my life. I began to wean myself off of the medication and as the dosage came down...I started having panic attacks. I never had a panic attack before doing Paxil, I had somewhere in the range of 100 while coming off of it. Some mornings I woke up with my head spinning and I would be in a constant state of panic until I took a pill and it had time to work it's way into me. This eventually subsided and I had to take a "booster" pill every 2-3 days when the dizziness and panic would set in. It gradually lengthened, up to about a range of 1 pill every week or so...then went away.

Now that I'm off the stuff, I have lasting effects. The one that pops up the most is the inability to control emotions. I was never like this before, but now I tear up during emotional scenes in movies...and often just in situations in life. Just the other day, while watching my son and daughter play, I broke into tears and just couldn't control it. As I said, this NEVER happened before Paxil.

The long and short of it. I wouldn't recommend Paxil to anybody. There are lasting side effects...and really the effects can be duplicated for all except the severely depressed with exercise.

[edit on 9-3-2007 by BlueTriangle]

At one point I was taking 40 mg of paxil a day. Considering at the time I only weighed 120 pounds its was a very high mg to weight ratio. Anyways, since it was a state facility I was required to do some specific things.

For instance they wanted me to quit drinking because in their opinion the alcohol was the cause of my depression. I knew they were full of # since my first bout of depression began when I was only 13, long before imbibing my first alcohol beverage. It was my self medication to alleviate my depression (along with some smoke, my preferred method of self medication), not the cause of my depression. That coupled with the individuals involved convinced me they knew less than jack #.

Specifically I had to watch some intake video as part of my treatment. Objecting to some of the videos contents I asked my shrink about it. She said "I've never actually watched them." So naturally she couldnt answer the questions or alleviate my concerns.

I determined, as previously stated, they didnt know what the hell they were talking about and decided to quit taking my paxil and go on with my own life without depending on shrinks, or the state. So I quit taking my paxil cold turkey.

Now that was a rather interesting experience. Vivid (psychotic) dreams. Weird body twitches, severe suicidal tendicies and bouts of mounting rage. My poor keyboard at the time became the focal point when I expressed my feelings one night coming off paxil. However the most intense thing I remember (this was nearly 4 years ago) was the electric shocks. Waves of electricity traversed my head from front to back, or from the central portion of my head cavity to the outer layers of my brain. I actually get that sensation to this day once in awhile and know it is entirely attributed to the paxil I use to take. So yeah there are long term repercutions to taking antidepressants.

My experience left me very jaded towards any prescription drugs and towards the field of psychology in general. Theres to much money to be made shilling prozac et all and in treating peoples feelings (manipulating them) to really care about the underlying causes. It's all about the bottom line and not all about the people. Maybe there are some good shrinks and I just had a piss poor one, but knowing human nature, more often than not, they are only interested in the all mighty dollar.

I rarely drink anymore and still suffer with long term low grade depression with bouts of serious depression, when I'm most depressed I'll get some marijuana and smoke out my blues, best cure I've personally ever experienced and # everyone that would condem me for it.

I recently found an interesting (like 2 days ago found) article about what could be the underlying cause of much depression. It is really why I even bothered to write this essay, as I wanted to share it with others in ATS that may suffer from depression.

I have to split the link so it doesnt kill the format (making people scroll every sentence) so cut and paste it.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov...
Retrieve&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=16542786&query_hl=2&itool=
pubmed_DocSum

Should be one line I cut at the = sign so you know how to reassemble it


Thats my story and I'm sticking to it. Just thought I share.

I suffer from scizoaffective bipolar disorder.

My depression is very pronounced and marked. It lasts for several months at a time, and my doctor has ruled out any chemical reasons for this imblance - and will not perscribe me any additional medications for my depression.

It's rough going but I'm learning how to cope with things on a day to day basis without the use of anti-depressants.

In the past, I was perscribed everything under the sun, and it actually complicated my primary medications. Anti-psychotics can really knock you off your ladder when it comes to daily functioning.

Fortunately - I've run through all the "typical" medications for my imbalance and have finally been perscribed a wonderful little gem of a med that I only need to take when symptoms become overwhelming and begin leading up to an episode.

I feel fortunate I've finally found a doctor I can talk to and who listens to me in regards to my feelings on medication. Since we are both of the opinion that my depression is being enhanced by the fact that I moved from a bustling metropolitan area to a small town in the sticks, he recommended I try alternative measures (walks, community involvement, art therapy, etc...) before perscribing anything.

I've gone over two years without anti-depressants - and while it's rough going some days, I haven't been experiencing any dangerous side effects like I did in previous years. No excessive mania, no dissociative fugues.

All cases are different, but I hope everyone out there is getting the treatment they need to be happy and self fulfilled.

Right now - this iced cola slushie is the highlight of my day.

Its sick that people take anti-depressant pills, its wrong and the only thing you feel is fake, and why would you want to feel fake? *snip*



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[edit on 2007/11/2 by Hellmutt]

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[edit on 2007/11/2 by Hellmutt]

I am curious what people think of Dosulepin?
I have tried several types and found this to be the best so far, as long as you dont drink alot of alcohol.
I was on 75mg and went up to 150mg, i have to say that im alot happier, and side effects are not really a problem.

Id love to hear some advice, experiences, comments on this particular AD.

I think it's highly inappropriate that this thread has turned into "pro-antidepressent vs anti-antidepressant" argument. I also think it's ironic that so many people think they know what they're talking about, but fail to use proper grammar. Grr.

Anyhow, I have clinical depression. I always have, because at a very young age I stopped sleeping, eating, caring. I was put on Prozac. I am still on Prozac. I have had no problems that cannot be adjusted with a dosage change.

Antidepressants are not for everyone, and there is a risk of developing suicidal tendencies. This is RARE. The only other time it would happen is if you did not have a chronic chemical imbalance to deal with.

Some people like to think they have a disease and go for the meds rather than therapy for attention or other reasons, but since they do not really need it, and are suffering from just a low-point in life, the meds mess them up more.

Also, everybody is different. If your doctor is actually worthwhile, they will work very hard to find you the right medication. And the medication you take at one time may, later on, become ineffective or cause a reaction.

People, don't say that antidepressants are worthless. They might be to you, but they've helped me live a normal life due to a real medical problem, and they have also helped many people that I know. You might swear that therapy works just as well, but see, for me therapy is a complete joke.

You can't generalize about this stuff. It doesn't work.

It also makes me really angry that so many of you are grown adults with children and careers and cannot spell or punctuate or capitalize correctly.

[edit on 11/2/2007 by ravenshadow13]