reply to post by Seasick
Never ever pay attention to what men say online, it's the same talk as any internet tough guy that is out there. Just a bunch of idiots having access
to a computer and being able to say things that they couldn't really get away with in person. Yes, lot's of men have shallow views/tastes toward
women, but not all men are like this. I know I'm not. I guess what you are going through happens in most marriages and relationships in general, the
spark just kind of goes away. When that goes away, so does the romance, the quickies in a public place, the butt grabbing, the look in the eyes, etc.
I am not married, but I've been with my girlfriend for more than a couple years, and we spend maybe too much time together.
Along the way, I realized I was starting to treat her similar to what your husband is doing. I barely kissed her anymore, didn't play with her like
like I always used too, hold her, talk to her, just went through the motions during sex and even that stopped happening, we started drifting. I don't
know how it happened or why, it just kind of happened. I do have one idea though, but first I'll explain what got me to realize what I was doing. My
girlfriend was starting to have similar feelings like you, she felt like I wasn't into her anymore and all of that. She eventually started talking to
many other men online, and did cheat on me a few times. The first time I found out about this, I flipped out.
I was angry beyond reasoning and could not understand why she did it. She straight up told me everything I typed above. She got into what the other
men were telling her, which was how pretty she was, how beautiful her eyes are, etc etc, things she needs to hear. But anyway, the idea I have for
changing is that I got so busy looking at other things, and getting irritated by the little things that I just put her at the bottom. After she had
told me her reason, instead of leaving her, we instead rebuilt our relationship. Not starting over, or pretend we just me or any of that crap, just
simply refocusing. Now things are better than they were when the relationship started. It's even gotten to the point where we laugh about her
cheating and the choice of guy, we are more affectionate, though she says I suck in the romantic department, but loves me anyway. She's a hopeless
romantic and I'm not so it's kind of an interesting thing that we differ on because we are so similar but different in many ways. We even openly
talk about people we are attracted to to each other be it celebrities or just regular people.
Obviously your situation is significantly different because you are married, but I do hope this helped in some way. I personally have always been
attracted to the smart, opinionated and stong women. I have only been in one relationship to the one's you described, but that wasn't for me. For
the record, many men, including myself, don't base a womans attraction by her breast size. I personally never cared about breast size, I'm more of a
booty guy personally. lol. Also, I never get interested in a woman that dresses slutty or in a way that brings attention to herself. That tells me she
is very self concious, craves attention, and very unconfident. But anyway, maybe just cornering him someway, leaving a letter, email, or whatever,
forcing him to hear what he needs to hear.
I don't recommend cheating of course, but maybe packing your bags may work or not cooking for him might send a messege. I'm sure you can figure
something out. If he doesn't want to listen, then maybe the marriage is over perhaps. But regardless, from your discription, I doubt you are the type
men ignore, maybe they don't jump on her like some cover girl, but i'm sure if you paid attention, you might realize that men are actually looking
your direction. I personally like what is considered the "regular types" and so do many men. I prefer a woman who dresses casual, isn't a afraid to
speak her mind, not act like the poor damsel in distress, will do a real pushup not the girl pushup and will give me a firm handshake instead of the
girly one. That is why I'm with girl I'm with now, just because she fits what I like.