It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

I hate him ( I can't wait to forgive him):An open letter to my family

page: 1
3

log in

join
share:

posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 03:03 AM
link   
Before you guys read this let me explain a bit so it makes more sense to you. What this is, is an open letter to my family regarding my relationship with my Grandfather.

My Grandfather and I have such a terrible relationship anymore. He is the most hateful, ignorant self absorbed person I have ever had the dis-privilege to come across in my life.

He has truthfully brought nothing but misery to the lives of those around him and I hate him for that but at the same time I long deeply to repair our relationship. My grandfather will not allow that though.

This is just an open letter to my family venting my frustrations about my relationship with my Grandfather and how he has hurt me so, as well as the selfishness he possesses. I had a lot of frustrations and just felt like writing down my feelings.

With out further ado here is that letter.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Fact: Grandpa is 90 years old.
Fact: No one in Grandpa's family has lived past the age of 90
Fact: Grandpa believes he is going to die before he turns 91, in November.

As stated above, Grandpa is 90 years old and no one in his family has lived past the age of 90. For that reason he is now convinced that he is going to die in the next few months and has slipped into yet another depression.

He lies on the couch all day in the fetal position and looks miserable as can be. He does not talk much when spoken to but that is nothing new for me as he never says much to me anyhow.

He has no appetite and has had a lot of "bathroom issues" lately. For that reason he decided to make an appointment to get an endoscopy done. He is very upset that the earliest the doctor can see him is the 8th of June.

He has become a big lump. I know exactly how he feels and I know the kind treatment he needs but I also know that he would NEVER accept that kind of treatment. Never. I know exactly how he feels as I have been every bit as depressed as he is now only I was always much better at hiding it. You and I know that if anyone in his family is going to live past 90, it would be him. In fact I believe he cold easily live past 100, but if you tell him that he just rolls over.

It is very hard to talk to a lump. Lumps don't care. Lumps don't respond. They sit there and they try their hardest to not do anything. They even try not to exist. But try as they might, Lumps just can not cease to exist. I know exactly how Grandpa feels.

I have been there, done that, and I wish that for once this lump would open up his heart and mind just a little bit. Just enough that we could actually talk and I know if he did that this lump would star behaving sane again. However, this lump is a lump because it does not want to do anything. It does not want open its mind even if that means it will feel better afterward.

An open mind and open heart seems to be the one thing that Grandpa fears most of all for some reason. Yet he can not even admit that, because he is so afraid of emotion, he tries so hard to avoid it all together. Try as he might though, emotion is just not possible to avoid. It finds you one way or another.

No matter how much you stuff your emotions away, no matter how much you ignore them, emotions find there way out. There is only so much room for storing emotions and when you run out of storage space the emotions just come flying out in one big explosion almost like a volcano. Sound familiar? Does that sound like anything I used to do?



As unbelievable as it may be, after such an eruption you feel so much better. You don't even have time to feel bad for the way you just behaved because you have just released so much pent up emotion and it is such an amazing relief!

If there is one thing that I have learned it is that bottling emotions is one of the most unhealthy things a person can do mentally. It drains you mentally as well as physically and spiritually. It creates resentment, fear, depression sadness and every other negative emotion you can think of. For that reason it easily becomes a very quick cycle of bottling then exploding.

I have learned that getting your emotions out and talking about what ever problem you are having is one of the healthiest thing you can do. Not only for yourself but for those around you. I suppose that is why I am always so anxious to talk about an argument right away rather than wait until we cool down.

Unfortunately for Grandpa and I, we are unable to talk our problem out. We are unable to discuss our feelings and get past them so we can feel better and have a decent relationship. I want that so bad too. I resent Grandpa for not giving me that. I really do. I want to let go of this resentment but I feel unable to unless I am able to tell him exactly how I feel. Exactly how he made me feel. Tell him how much he has hurt me over the years and actually have him listen.

He has caused so much pain for me and the bastard can not even give me the satisfaction of telling him just how I feel. I truly believe that he does not care. I also truly believe that one day, he will understand exactly how he made me feel. I believe that one day he will understand. I believe that one day he will care. On that day, I believe I will be able to let my resentment go. I believe I will be able to forgive him.

Until that day comes, grandpa is nothing more than a lump in my life. A lump that has hurt me in so many ways. A miserable lump who cares only for himself. A lump that has brought pain to so many and love to so few. A lump that I resent. A lump that I hate.

Fact: Grandpa is 90 years old.
Fact: No one in Grandpa's family has lived past the age of 90
Fact: Grandpa believes he is going to die before he turns 91, in November.
Fact: I secretly hope he is right.
Fact: I can't wait to forgive him.

[edit on 27-6-2009 by gimme_some_truth]




posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 03:42 AM
link   
find a way to corner him so that he cannot not listen to you

you gotta say:


Look gramps

you're 90 years old and you are a human being on the planet earth, circling around the sun, with a bunch of other floating geometric holograms composed of atoms. (which are more nothing than something)

Then show himthis

after that, after you get him with all your willpower to check it out, let him know that everything matters. Say ''EVERYTHING MATTERS GRAMPS!!!" in a real loud, serious, and embellished way. Feel free to repeat this once or twice more in a Will Ferrell-esque way. Then causally say, in an assertive but soft Gene Wilder in Willy wonka sort of way "and at the very same time nothing matters."

After this soaks in and you see it in his eyes, do a karate kick and shout..
So are we gonna make it to the big one hundo!!!!????

Obviously escalate towards the end of that and put in a good hi five after that.

You could change your grandpa's life with that if you do it a sincere and human to human way. Speak to his subsconscious and transmit the energy....cheers



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 04:16 AM
link   
reply to post by iiinvision
 


You know, I truly appreciate your advice. I truly do. It is very helpful. However for what it is worth I have tried all that and more. I have tried everything short of slapping him upside the head to get his attention.

Unfortunatly if a person is truly unwilling to listen and truly unwilling to care there is just not much one can do.

It may be hard to believe that there is not a way to get a persons attention but I think I may have found the one guy. You see, he truly does not believe he has ever done a thing wrong. He truly believes that everyone around him is crazy for having such an issue with him.

He truly can not see that he is hurting anybody, and when that is the case I imagine one would naturally blow you off.

If you came up to me and said "hey you standing right here hurts me" I would probably role my eyes and say yeah right. Well he for whatever reason can not see that all the hurtful things he has said and done in the past (The majority of which are not suitable to mention on ATS), are wrong or hurtful.

I hate to use this as an example considering the man just died but look at Michael jackson. in interviews he was asked multiple times about his sleeping in bed with children. Michael seemed to not be able to understand how anyone could even think that inviting children into your bed is wrong or inappropriate. It is like he truly does not see anything wrong with it.

You and I do, sure, but he does not and seemingly can not understand why it is wrong. Same goes for my Grandfather. He just does not and can not see how his behavior has hurt people and still does to this very day.

For that reason I say in my letter that I truly believe he will not understand how he has made me feel until after he has died, and for that reason, in a way, I can not wait for him to die, because I believe that then and only then will he get it.

Then and only then after he one day does get it will I be able to forgive him. I want to so bad, but I just can not until he gets it.


Anyway, sorry for the long reply. For what it is worth your post has inspired me to re examine the situation to see what else I could possibly do to get this mans attention and get him to listen.

Keeping in mind that this is a man who does not believe that emotions should be discussed. keeping in mind that this is a man who certainly has some ... mental issues but would NEVER go seek help because it would involve him sharing his emotions. keeping in mind that a big part of the reason why I doubt he will ever listen is because he knows that I have alot of emotion that I need to let off. Keeping in mind that plus lots more...

Thanks for your reply. I do hope that I do get the opportunity to sit down and work out our issues. If not I will just have to let it go eventually otherwise this stuff, this resentment will gradually eat me alive.

On a side note, I like your avatar. it reminds me of the cover of John Lennon's album "Mind Games"



[edit on 27-6-2009 by gimme_some_truth]



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 04:27 AM
link   
Take a picture of him.

Take a picture of you.

Photoshop the pictures together.

Write in a *one liner* that means somthing to you.

Copy it and give it to him - or make multiple copies and tac them up all over a room he can't avoid.

More:

If you want to heal him - get a picture from when he was young - if possible - and Photoshop you and he together from the young picture - when he was proud of himself - add the one-liner - something like - “This is how I remember you grandpa...”

If you’re angry - get a pic of him as the *lump* and the line you use can be something like “You want me to remember you like this you old *bleep*?"

You see what I’m getting at?

Manipulate the picture and the one liner to get the result you want.

And then don’t let the picture out of his sight.


Just keep posting it everywhere.

Maybe then, if he is at all effected by it - and he will be whether he admits it or not EVERYONE is effected (and sometime deeply) by their own picture)...

But anyway, from there manipulate the picture even more...

Whatever you do make it something positive for you.

peace



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 05:27 AM
link   
You are very tender toward this man. Even in your anger.

Unfortunately I understand your frustration in trying to bring him to your level, but think about it! Really.

Hard heads are programmed to interfere and sabotage evolution, they make everyone fearful and unhappy, they do not free you when they die! Most of them are possessed with dark entities. Nothing to love there!

Detachment is your lesson here, and really looking at your own behavior, making sure you are not, yourself, in any way carrying on with his egoic behavior. I feel for ya, its a hard relationship.

There are good surrogate grandpas out there who have the most fabulous stories to share and no one to share them with! I have gone this route and it is healing to me and to the seniors.

[edit on 27-6-2009 by HulaAnglers]



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 06:03 AM
link   
reply to post by gimme_some_truth
 


Maybe your Gandpa is the victim of a different era, where showing emotion makes you "girly," and being macho is the only acceptable lifestyle for men. Maybe he does care for you, he just can't bring himself to express it.


I think some people have the misconception that families have to get along, love each other, help each other, care for each other.. That's simply not the way the world works. There is no law written in stone that says the universe may only work when people who are blood related love each other.

Nothing is stopping you from loving your grandfather, but it is his decision to love you back. If he chooses not to, the most unhealthy thing you can possibly do is try to force him to. This almost sounds like one of those abusive relationships you hear about, where the husband beats and torments his wife, yet she never leaves him.


It is unhealthy to dwell on things you can not change. There is no reason to fret over trying to force somebody else into making the decisions you want them too -- it'll never happen.

He might come around on his own, but if he doesn't, it's time to move on. Time to forget.



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 06:14 AM
link   
reply to post by gimme_some_truth
 


What you have written is very beautiful.

Almost every word you have written is a parable of how the Bible presents the Creator of the universe. I ain't preaching. I have tears in my eyes.

Look back at what you've written & see what I mean. Rejected, Spurned, Offended. Filled with anger. Filled with Love.

The divine solution: do something that is so costly that even the blind will see the love.

Oh the cost.

Oh the joy of reconciliation!

Overcome the anger with sheer, unadulterated love. Make sure it costs. Big time.

Then persist. Persist, persist.

And wait for the response.

Never give up.



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 06:38 AM
link   
gimme_some_truth


well here is some truth for you !!!!

No one makes you emotionally upset
and no one makes you happy or sad ...
...


Only you make yourself upset ...happy or sad
So stop pointing the finger and blaming your grandfather >>>>>>

I hear from your words that you have a lot of judgement towards your grandfather
maybe this comes from the fact that your expectations of him are not coming up to scratch

To love a person unconditionally is to accept that person as they are
That means to love all of him ...warts ..lumps.. bumps...and all
His lack of enthusiasm...
His withdrawal from life
and also his reluctance to communicate with you ... !!!!!

He is who he is and he too like yourself has many a role to play
can you learn this great lesson he is teaching you ..

the great lesson of " ACCEPTANCE"

because the world does not always do what we think it should do ......

By the way I have also looked after many a dying lump ....
And sometimes they die and sometimes they even surprise themselves and completely recover their own will to live again

my job was simply to love them ...
though and remember this >>>

(I did not have to love what they did to me at times
....because of the way they where )


SEE THE GAME FOR WHAT IT IS



your grandfather may be doing nothing as you say
yet the power he has over you just in his silence alone
is unbelievable

learning to see the game that is being played here
between your grandfather and yourself
is the first step to recovering your own sanity

when you learn not to play the game with him
he may also learn that playing this game
has no more manipulation or power over you

good luck

A good little book to read
The little soul and the sun ...by Neale Donald Walsh


"Happiness is choice
A habit that is gained
through daily practice"



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 06:46 AM
link   
reply to post by gimme_some_truth
 

I hope you wanted all these different opinions of the situation, because that's what you are getting!

You are bound up in a game with your grandpa as old as life itself. In these modern times, many young people aren't around when their grandparents die. They don't see how it happens, the way you are seeing. So you could consider yourself lucky that you are getting to see this up close.

He has decided he wants to die. If he's really been as crusty as you describe him, he probably decided a long time ago. But it looks like now he really wants to do it. Unfortunately for us, when people get into this frame of mind, and it's not just old people who do this, they, essentially, intentionally try to upset the people around them. It's an ancient pattern - it's just how it works.

You've probably seen old people who were very willing to interact with their grandchildren. The interaction with children was a joy for them. It sounds like this man was never that way with you.

If you really want to help him, you might still be able to. But you will have to do it with the idea that you could control him into being a little bit happy. You have to be totally willing to ignore his attempts to put you off or make you feel upset, and to be totally unaffected by them. If you can do this, he might recognize you as someone who understands the truth of his situation, and he might "snap out of it" and talk to you. He would probably say something angry or resentful. If you don't let this upset you, and keep your intention for him to feel a little happiness, a little willingness to communicate, he might start really talking with you. If he did, of course, you would have to be willing to listen to him and understand what he had to say, or you'd lose him again. If he decides to talk to you, it's quite possible that it might be the first time in his adult life that he has decided to really talk to anybody.

If you don't think you are capable of the above, there is another approach. You could just ignore him, like he's ignoring you. The point is to make it clear to him that the little game he is playing with you by rolling up in a ball and going completely out of communication is no longer having the desired effect on you. If this becomes apparent to him, he might just drop it, and decide to start communicating.

If you let him make you feel miserable, you are just playing into his game.


[edit on 27-6-2009 by l_e_cox]

[edit on 27-6-2009 by l_e_cox]



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 07:09 AM
link   
reply to post by xsheep
 



well here is some truth for you !!!!

No one makes you emotionally upset
and no one makes you happy or sad


Pure hog wash.

Wherever this opinion came from it needs to one, be re-evaluated, and two, named for what it is ---> opinion, for it’s by far NOT truth.

peace


[edit on 27-6-2009 by silo13]



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 07:09 AM
link   

Originally posted by gimme_some_truth
He has caused so much pain for me and the bastard can not even give me the satisfaction of telling him just how I feel.


Okay ... here's another way to look at it ....
(I hope I don't come across harsh .. it's not supposed to be)

Sounds like HE is in pain and/or has emotional problems. He's lashing out because HE is in pain or because he has a mental illness which he has no control over. His age may also be a factor as age does effect brain function.

Instead of focusing in on how much you think you are hurt because he's 'a lump' or because 'he thinks he's going to die' .... focus in on how much pain HE is in. Isn't that more important?

You may not be able to do anything to relieve his pain and/or mental illness (that's what clinical depression is). If that's the case then you have a few options

- stop contact with him because it isn't good for you.
- stay HELPFUL TO HIM even if it doesn't seem to help. (you never know).
- get the doctors involved - both physical and mental health doctors.

As for his fixation with death - that is a faith issue. Everyone dies. Those that are afraid of being dead are those who have nothing to look forward to when the time comes. My elderly mother was having fear-of-death issues. I gave her and my father two books full of NICE near death experience stories. My mother enjoyed them. My father didn't bother picking them up. But he's an avid reader and the books are there for the day he starts to be interested in what is to come.





[edit on 6/27/2009 by FlyersFan]



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 08:01 AM
link   
reply to post by silo13
 




silo 13 .... you are right in your own truth ..... and so hogwash it is ...



posted on Jun, 27 2009 @ 02:17 PM
link   

Originally posted by l_e_cox

I hope you wanted all these different opinions of the situation, because that's what you are getting!


I absolutely did! One thing I know is if you do not want opinions, do not post it on ATS.

I am actually surprised though to see how many people were moved by my words and wanted to post a word of encouragement or offer up some advice.

You guys are so great. I thank all of you for writing such kind and helpful words, and I thank all of you who have yet to write. You have all encouraged me to re examine my relationship with my Grandfather and have filled me with new inspiration to try and at least show him that in spite of everything I still love him.

When I wrote this, I was essentially just venting, but I decided to post it here because it was sort of a way to release this into the universe and away from me.

I said in a previous post that I have to learn to let go of this resentment or else it will eat me alive. Well this thread is giving me hope that there IS a lot of hope to at least get my issues worked out.

I may never be able to heal him, but I feel like to heal myself a part of him needs to be healed first, so damnit I am going to try.

I also want to thank everyone who has read the thread so far and everyone who will read the thread for simply listening. Sometimes one of the most helpful things you can do is also one of the most simple. Thanks for listening and thanks for such helpful words.


That said, I must admit I find myself hoping to see more posts. Each post has been so helpful and healing, in a way to me and for that reason I find myself refreshing the page every few minutes to see if anything new has been posted. Go figure. Thanks guys

[edit on 27-6-2009 by gimme_some_truth]



posted on Jun, 28 2009 @ 03:58 AM
link   

Originally posted by silo13
reply to post by xsheep
 



well here is some truth for you !!!!

No one makes you emotionally upset
and no one makes you happy or sad


Pure hog wash.

Wherever this opinion came from it needs to one, be re-evaluated, and two, named for what it is ---> opinion, for it’s by far NOT truth.

peace


[edit on 27-6-2009 by silo13]


I disagree to a certain degree.

It is true that people have energy that may rub off on you but everything that you experience is all in your head. External stimuli composed of atoms can appear to make you sad or angry or whatever emotion, but the bottom line is is that it's attitude. Sure we can all think of a million things that could happen to where, try as you might, you ''cannot'' succeed. This thought process aides in sewing apathy into the soul. You have to trust in your mind/body/soul, develop patience, learn to focus on things single pointedly. There is more than one way to skin a cat.

Many people feel content with things staying the way they are or even not interfering. But I see things like this as opportunities to grow as a person and help another soul grow at the same time.

Not everybody believe in souls, or reincarnation, or anything that a microscope cannot detect. I myself don't necessarily believe in the aforementioned in the way that you think I do, however I believe our essence carries on, past the physical 3 dimensional realm. We are all here for a short time and in this time we are faced with challenges and some of them repeat themselves until we learn from them.

break it down for him in a way he can understand.

Put yourself in his shoes and look back into the past. Try and get into the mindset of a younger version of your grandfather and try and bring that out in him. Im sure he had ideas about the future like we had. Use humor and eventually, with patience and perseverance you will make cracks in the wall.


And please, just forgive him. Do it for Jesus, do it for yourself, do it before all the # we pay attention to on this website becomes reality before we know it. We would all like to hope and believe that there is still a chance to maintain the american dream but sometimes we must feign what ats is all about vanquishing in order to obtain some sort of piece of mind. So do it while we still have the chance if not for compassion itself.

good luck



posted on Jul, 1 2009 @ 08:17 PM
link   
Oh my good god! The poor guy is 90, everyones hes known and loved is dead practically. Put some sympathy in place of your anger. If I had to be on this screwed up planet for 90 years I'd be pretty miserable too!



posted on Jul, 3 2009 @ 03:43 PM
link   

Originally posted by awdbawl
Oh my good god! The poor guy is 90, everyones hes known and loved is dead practically. Put some sympathy in place of your anger. If I had to be on this screwed up planet for 90 years I'd be pretty miserable too!


He was ALWAYS like this. This is not something new..... He has always been a mean, abusive bitter person who treats people horrible. This is not something that started just because he got old.


I know there is a stigma surrounding old people, and I know that people like to treat old people poorly because they are not as pretty as a younger person but do not think that he has this issue just because he is old.

he has always been a miserable, abusive person, who treats everyone around him like dog poo.

You may think what I wrote is an exaggeration or something but the truth is you have NO idea. I did not mention the physical and sexual abuse he has brought onto MULTIPLE people ( I only had to deal with the physical) I did not mention all the insults, alcohol abuse, and many other things that are not allowed to even be mentioned on ATS...

You think he is bitter because he is an old man? I regret to inform you that you are deeply mistaken..... Deeply, deeply mistaken....

I said he has brought hell to my life and I meant it. Yet I still want to forgive him because, to borrow a line from Anne Frank, "In spite of everything I still believe people are basically good".....

I want that man to sit down and listen I want him to understand the hell he has put so many people through, I want him to be sorry, but he is not. I do not think he can be untill he actually understand how I feel. Yet I do not wish for him to know just how bad it feels because I would not wish this upon the worst person in the world.

Yes, He is a miserable old man, but he has been miserable his whole life and that is all he has brought to me and my family and friends.

This has NOTHING to do with the few people who actually loved him being dead. He has always been this way...

That said, I am sorry you hate this "miserable planet" so much. I quite like it here. Good food, great conversation, lots to do... Its alot better than Venus... It's hard to breath their and Uranus..... well Your anus just plain stinks
( Sorry I couldn't resist)

In spite of a few terrible people and experiences I would not want to live anywhere else.



posted on Nov, 23 2009 @ 08:52 PM
link   
reply to post by gimme_some_truth
 


A search for "sadness and depression" brought me to your post from June 2009. I hope my response doesn't get lost in the ATS netherlands and that you read this.

My father was your grandfather's age a few years ago. He was born in an era of playing stick ball on dirt streets in the Bronx in the late 1910s and early 20s. He, too, was very private about his past and was a hard-ass, every unemotional (except for scarey anger). He was a WWII vet and rarely talked about it. Thankfully, he was not sexually abusive. He did beat me once with a belt for wearing jeans and looking cheap (yeah, no ****) when I was 18. I was always afraid of provoking his anger.

Two years ago, I went to see my parents for a yearly visit (we lived 5000 miles apart). Dad had lost a great deal of weight and was a "lump" as you described. Up until he turned 90 and got the flu, he used to take walks and mow the lawn and read constantly. After that, however, he started shutting down and would just lay on the couch lost in his own thoughts or sleeping.

Shortly after I arrived, he ended up in the emergency room where we talked to a doctor who was familiar with his medical issues. Dad had leukemia. For whatever reason when he saw the oncologist for the two years, he thought he was just seeing a "blood doctor." We (family) didn't know he was dying. When he realized that, he asked me with tears in his eyes, "is there any way to make it go faster?"

We got him set up with hospice at home. At one point, he was sitting in his butt-worn livingroom chair as his bed was being prepared, and we were alone. He sighed heavily and said to me, "so many regrets . . . SO many regrets." I couldn't get him to talk after that. He was choked up with tears in his eyes. All I could do was say "we've all done stupid things."

Later by a few days when he was on the morphine, I told him everything I needed to say - that I'm so thankful he did well enough to leave my mother and me cared for, that he did hurt me unnecessarily because I was a good kid, that I know I did stupid things, and that I know he loved me even though he never said those words. Even under morphine, he heard my words, because he got tears in his eyes. I repeated that for days, as I stroked his thin hair and kissed his forehead.

He died soon after that. I believe that he and I came to terms because I talked to him even though he couldn't respond to me. Even if he were conscious, he wouldn't have been able to respond. Men from that age were not taught how to feel, much less how to talk about it.

I hope you got a chance to tell your grandfather how you feel. If he has died, then rest assured you are not to blame for anything. None of it is your fault. You're a dear soul to care at all after what he did and how he denied you closure. If he hasn't passed yet and there's no hope of recovering, see about hospice care. They can set him up with meds to keep him comfortable if he's in pain. Emotional pain can be as debilitating as physical pain when it's that bad.

My father didn't realize the pain he'd caused us until he was dying. Ninety years is a long time to abuse people who love you, and the pain of realization must be awful. It doesn't forgive the actions. It means none of it was your fault.

I wish you peace with the knowledge that he can't possibly say he's sorry and that none of it was your fault.



posted on Nov, 25 2009 @ 04:16 AM
link   
reply to post by gimme_some_truth
 


Your grandfather may act like he doesn't care , but maybe he can
finally see that his whole life has been spent doing the wrong thing ,
and now he can't face anybody he's hurt . He may be feeling incredibly guilty for this . His life is almost over ,and he's wasted it , that's
depressing .
Maybe try a family party , around him . Invite as many people as you can . Talk positively about him [this may be difficult] , and have your
guests do the same . Talk about the good times , hand around photos ,
get the great grand kids to get him talking . Worth a try , might take a few tries , but it could well snap him out of it . If he responds , make plans to go on an outing , picnic , shops , whatever , make him plan for the
future , even if it''s only a week ahead .....



posted on Apr, 27 2011 @ 10:46 PM
link   
reply to post by DreamingsFree
 


You know, it took me a long time to read what you wrote and I am not sure you are even here anymore... But I want you to know that I read it.

I did get a chance to talk with him...Things are not quite worked out, like I want... I did not get to tell him everything I want. I hope to tell him everything... And I suppose I will be able to one day, whether he is alive or not...

Thanks for sharing your story. It gave me hope. Just thanks.



new topics

top topics



 
3

log in

join