posted on Jun, 26 2009 @ 06:10 PM
I'd like to apologize in advance for the lengthy post, I have a problem with summarizing...
First off, I'll give you my personal info, and we'll go from there!
I'm 24, been in a relationship for 1 year, 6 months. My wife and I have been living together for 1 year, and married for 5 months.
Before the relationship ever began I worked full time, went to college part-time, and the rest of the time I went out with friends whenever, or mostly
played on my computer. (WoW, Counter-Strike, Social Networking, Masturbating, Whatever...) I lived very impulsively, making decisions on my own,
without much regard for anyone else. This isn't to say I'm not a considerate person, but I didn't have to include anyone else unless I felt like
Life was pretty good. My job was tolerable, I had enough money to cover all expenses, and then some to entertain myself pretty much 24/7, and besides
monatery obligations, I really had no responsibility.
The only problem was, I was a very lonely person. Some nights I just couldn't fall asleep and felt like the only person in the world. I felt that if
I had someone to take care of.. it would fill that void.
Well, I found a girl through Myspace. We began to correspond through messages, and IM. Shortly after, we began to talk for hours on the phone. I
remember staying up with her on the phone for about 5 hours. A few months later, we began to see each other in person. It was a very casual
friendship, and nothing more. Both of us eventually wound up in seperate relationships.. Mine lasted 9 months, her's a year and a half...
Eventually we found ourselves together in our own place. 6 Months into our relationship she proposed to me, but I said no. I was not ready for
commitment. She didn't take the rejection lightly. So, the only way I felt I could make her feel better was to go with it. I changed my mind and said
no, then yes, then no, then, we were married 2/3/09.
Naturally since the relationship started, I found my lifestyle changing. At first, we would go out together 2-3 times a week. I was still able to
enjoy time with friends and be by myself. (We didn't live together yet) However, after moving in together, we became attached at the hip. I couldn't
spend much time on the computer any longer or spend time with friends by myself without her feeling "far away" from me. At first, I found it sweet
that she wanted to spend so much time with me, but now, every waking moment if not spent at work is spent with her. I cannot enjoy the activities I
used to indulge in any longer.
I've left her once before because of this but after a week, I found myself back with her because I could not deal with losing her, and ... I am a
very jealous person, and could not stand the thought of her being with someone else.
We have been attending counciling together for a few months now learning how to handle some of our differences of opinion and marriage issues.
However, a part of me does not want to continue with how things are because I miss single life, but at the same time, I do not want to put either one
of us through such pain again, and there are some aspects about my relationship I do like.
So I guess I am asking, what should I do?
I will be happy to answer any questions and provide additional information if needed...
Thanks for hanging on this long.
Peace & Blessings to all.