I remember, ahh the days of knowing everything...I was such a skeptic, my mind was sharp, my understanding of physical sciences was adapt, I had a
finely tuned BS detector, I was a solid and happy athiest, and although I had a sci-fi love, I knew that it was what it was...fiction.
I think those days, there is a certain comfort in thinking you know it all, or at least could figure it out if you could be bothered to
crack open enough books.
As far as advanced civilizations somewhere else in the universe...oh, I was sure of it..perhaps millions, billions even. but none here...relativity
would make that pretty impossible (back then, quantum physics didnt have as much acceptable plausability to it...it was what you base sci-fi on, not
reality)..so, no ufos in the sky, no ghosts in the bedrooms, etc.
I read a book, Engines of Creation, because I was fascinated with nanotechnology, futurists, etc..and since athiests have nowhere in
particular to go, it would be nice to consider alternatives.
I remember soaking up anything to do with nanotech, assembler technology, plausability, heisenburg, leading me to einstein, etc...all a mass
of jumbled intellectual curiousities in my head. At the time I was living over in England so there was plenty of intellects to debate with (my wife
at the time being one of em). This only heightened my general curiousity.
I remember some years later being back in the states, flipping on the sci-fi channel while laying in a beach cottage with my new girlfriend
(brazilian yumcicle) and there was some guy on named Bob Lazar talking about something..I sent her to bed (...I know), and watched this guy...he
sparked my intellectual curiousity. I at the end figured he was perhaps out of his mind, yet he seemed to grasp some pretty complex fundamentals on
Anyhow, after all that, I had remembered, or rather, decided to reexamine some experiences of the odd in my life, things I could never
explain, and trust me, I tried like hell to explain em..I talked about em with my skeptic friends, random professors and scientists, etc...and my
experiences could not be ripped apart to natural explanations beyond temporary insanity (wasnt insane when they happen..now is debatable).
So, here I am...no longer sure about anything. My hobbies are all changed (instead of researching about the latest developments in internet
technology, or building flash websites, I am sitting on my roof at night with binoculars, researching ancient mythology and comparing stories with
accounts of ufo abductions and encounters, etc)..My life went from quickly progressing through this material world to a sudden trainwreck stop. But my
most suprising change is how I deal with people claiming stuff.
I used to be able to simply brush aside extraordinary claims by people, but now, I am dealing with a near split personality disorder, one
side being the healthy skeptic, and another side being some crystal collecting hippy..what comes out at the end is perhaps more nonsense than if
either side was driving individually...
I know this is alot of reading for a small question, but I guess this is driving me a bit off the wall mad..is obsession over truth that may
never be found even healthy? how does a former hardcore skeptic resolve a happy medium after experiencing firsthand some stuff? How do we go on with
life as normal after such events when the mind is demanding you go investigate further...how do you know when your losing your mind (side question
there. heh). Incidently, if you have read this far, I will email you a cookie.
Thank you for your time, feel free to ignore this thread, or respond if it mirrors something about you...would like to know how others resolved the
fighting lions of their mind.
[edit on 26-6-2009 by SaturnFX]