posted on Jun, 25 2009 @ 06:30 PM
I wanted to post something that has been nagging my consciousness for a time now.
First, a little background about me
I am 24 years old. Married to an 18 year old. Graduated high-school, work full time in a call center selling cell phones for 2 years, have been
diagnosed with "Overfocused A.D.D.", and I have recently began to believe in the probability of an emerging New World Order, and the preceding
martial law soon thereafter.
Now, what bothers me
Since I was about 13 years old I have harbored a nagging feeling that my life isn't as it should be. The world isn't as it seems. This is not how
things were meant to be. There needs to be a change to the current 'system' and it's schematics. People are a slave to the monatery system, and
there is so much more to life than working to continuously, endlessly buying products to entertain, trivialize, and make up our existance.
I have cried and pitched a fit when I was younger about this, and my parents told me 'that is just the way it is. that is life. get used to it.'
Well, 11 years later, I have graduated high school, attended college, landed a high yielding job, got married, and am making plans for the future to
own a home, settle down, and raise a family.
life at home, isn't the only place where I feel out of place
My work environment is just about as bad if not worse. After working in a call center around 500+ employees everyday, I overhear conversations about
me. I can narrow the topic down to 1 of 5 things: Cars, Sports, Hip-Hop music, celebrities, and money. Now, I understand and respect people's right
to live as they wish, and believe what they believe, but it still leaves me frustrated and somewhat upset that these are the only topics that seem to
ever be on their minds.
Maybe there is more to it than what I am seeing and hearing, but at this moment I feel that I could be doing so much more. I feel I am waiting for
something to happen to end the monotonous, daily schedule of working 1/3rd of my day, leaving the 1/3rd of my time to sleep and another 1/3rd of my
time to spend with the wife.
Not sure what it may exactly be, but I feel confined, and anxious a lot. I do not want to continue working daily to build a future of materialistic
objects, and spend my life around people who are oblivious to the truth.
I am somewhat hypocritical as well, and I guess that may be my flaw... but I am otherwise unsure of what to do to shake this feeling.
Thank you for reading this far, I do truly appreciate it.
Can anyone else out there relate?