South African rapist: 'Forgive me'

South African rapist: 'Forgive me'

news.bbc.co.uk

When we met, she showed a wry smile on her face.

Since we were at a public clinic, she thought I was a doctor or someone from the Ministry of Health.

I related my story to her. She looked at me and revealed that she had since been raped on two other occasions.


She started crying. She told me how she often cringes when her husband touches her.

She told me that her life was never the same emotionally following these incidents.

Worse still, she was not ready to tell her husband of what had happened.

Finally, she said that she forgave me, and thought that I had meant well with

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[edit on 25/6/2009 by Mirthful Me]

This is a rather powerful story. The man showed genuine remorse for the crime he commited. And to his saving grace, his victim said that she forgives him. That's quite humbling, no, it's very humbling. I hope that one day she can confide in her husband, and take that great weight from her shoulders.

I hope that this man can get his message accross. He's now working on reaching young men to relay his story to them. I just hope that they can take on board what he says. he's had to live with what he done to an innocent young woman. And i don't think that many young people truly take that into consideration when they commit these heinous acts.

out of something terrible, has grown something good. I hope it continues to grow.

news.bbc.co.uk
(visit the link for the full news article)

[edit on 25/6/2009 by Acidtastic]

[edit on 25/6/2009 by Mirthful Me]

the woman eased his guilty conscience!! i feel bad for her.

the guy talks about it as if it's no big deal, like underage drinking or something.

If you asked me: "What motivates so many men in South Africa to engage in un-consensual sex?" I would say that it is the machismo feelings and beliefs, coupled with patriarchal processes and tendencies.

to me it seems that there is actually something very wrong in the attitude of the society, the view of human life seems debased, almost not there. the concept of mind and empathy seem to be absent from his account.

reply to post by pieman

I agree with you. This woman was victimized again by this man imo. He is
free of his guilty burden but what about her? Obviously not if she can't tell her husband & cringes when he touches her.

I would say she is still working through the trauma and should not be pressured in any way by someone who hurt her so violently. Whatever is most beneficial to her healing should be the priority not what is most beneficial to this man.

If forgiving him was a step in the healing process that she needed she should have been the one to initiate it with the approval of doctors/family. Someone should have been present to support her.

No there's too many things I don't like about this.

Rape is a horrible crime. I have a great respect for this woman and none for the rapist, but if the victim is able to forgive him I will not question that decision but accept it.

Originally posted by Morningglory
reply to post by pieman

 

I agree with you. This woman was victimized again by this man imo. He is
free of his guilty burden but what about her? Obviously not if she can't tell her husband & cringes when he touches her.

I would say she is still working through the trauma and should not be pressured in any way by someone who hurt her so violently. Whatever is most beneficial to her healing should be the priority not what is most beneficial to this man.

If forgiving him was a step in the healing process that she needed she should have been the one to initiate it with the approval of doctors/family. Someone should have been present to support her.

No there's too many things I don't like about this.

Actually I think forgiveness is the only thing that could truly make someone be able to move on from rape.

I mean yes I agree, his apology was half hearted, but it's better than nothing.

It's interesting how people would be a lot quicker to forgive a murderer.

[edit on 25-6-2009 by Donnie Darko]

At least this rapist was big enough to apologize and change his ways.