I did a radical thing...

reply to post by triplesod


Wow- You quote another member? Great debate.

Originally posted by AccessDenied
And I'm certainly not in anyway forcing my decision on other people.

You've taken their forms of entertainment away after having them for so long. If, from day 1, they were raised up without TV, computer, etc., then maybe I can be supportive. From what I understand though, up until you took these items away, they had these items. There is only so long before they are fully grown and move out of the house. At that time, nothing will stop them from reengaging in watching television and browsing the Internet.

Although you "truly don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks of my parenting, good or bad", take my piece of advice if you aren't doing so already -- it's better to take away the entertainment and provide two unbiased points of view of both digital entertainment and self-entertainment and let them decide for themselves which they believe they like more than to take away digital entertainment completely and let them overindulge when they leave the house.

Originally posted by AccessDenied
I didn't start this thread to debate whether Iam a good parent or not

Originally posted by AccessDenied
Wow- You quote another member? Great debate.

You can't say "great debate" when you're not participating the debate to begin with. ¬_¬

[edit on 6/13/2009 by SonicInfinity]

hehehe

this is why i do not pay for tv channels

they only fill kids with commercials anyways lol

"mom dad can i have a X?"

WOw that's too much, I completely disagree with you.
video games, movies, and T.V. are not good for you if they are ABUSED daily as an addiction. In fact, if used with moderation, they can be quite instructive if used moderately. What you watch in T.V. is a form of art (called acting by the way), video games are art (a more advance form of storytelling in most games) and movies can serve as a way to inform about society and culture.
In fact, I decided to become a writer BECAUSE of video games. I don't play them during semesters of school because i don't have time, but video games are what sparked my mind to choose this career path.
If a video game can make a story more interesting, then why not learn something about these games and see what you can take from it to write better stories?
I say give them back the playstation, with only a handful of (good) games. give them back the T.V. and place some limits on when they can watch and block a few channels if you want. Offer them excellent books. Remember, reading can also sometimes be as useless as playing a horrible game if the book is crap; just because you read a book doesn't mean you are better than the people who decide to play video games.
All that stuff you took away from them can actually spark their imagination. They might even meet their best friends and get relationships in the future BECAUSE of those electronics.
but you are the parent, you decide what you want to do with your kids. But I still think you made a very extreme and unnecessary decision (you could have taken a few of the games, placed limits on how long they can plat, etc)

If my parents had taken away all my distractions when I was kid - GOD help them.

I needed my b&w tv and the phone..

Well not so much the phone, but when it rang I was the first one grabbing for it!!!

I still, despite having nothing, turned out quite messed up.

Hurray for logical thinking and taking away stimulus!!!

In terms of less whining, a complete ban is best.
Placing limits on things will encourage them to test the limits, to break the limits. Completely remove the items, and they won't. Besides, if they started reading books before bed et cetera so quickly, they probably don't really notice the TVs absence.

I admire anyone that takes a stand for what they believe in whether it is popular or not. Each has to do what they think is right. There should be no bad parent/good parent debate as to what the OP has decided to do to raise her children as she sees fit.

I for one am more in the moderation of things. As others have said, one can read too much, watch too much tv, play too many sports, gamble etc. Work even. Anything that takes up so much time you have little for anything else needs to be moderated imo.

I do think it "helps" that AD's children are on the younger side. They may not be as ingrained in the electronic world as older children are. Addicted even. Mine would mutiny if all got taken away but I think they balance things ok for the most part.

I will admit the electronic addiction is mostly mine.

reply to post by AccessDenied


Good for you! .. I own a TV and a DVD Player, movies for the weekends. I don't pay for cable or watch that crap they call "prime time tv".. I read. ..

And when I have kids, there will be no dish in my yard, or cable with a thousand channels, or every conceivable play station type platform .. just books, imagination and a big back yard.

reply to post by AccessDenied


I'm sorry but I have to say, this seems incredibly rash, lazy and also somewhat unbelievable in how well you've described it working out.

I have 2 children (15yrs and 7yrs neither of which give us any trouble) and I don't deny them the ability to play games and watch TV, but I do it the way it should be done. Reasonably and sensibly, by putting limits on the amount of time a day they are allowed to spend with said activities. Also by only allowing certain types of media to be indulged, and by taking an active role in what they are interested in and helping to guide them towards healthy pursuits.

I'm sorry, to me it seems like all you've done here is taken the easiest option for you while not really considering all of the ramifications of your actions. If it truly has worked out for you as well as you think/claim it has then good for you, but don't expect it to last.

Also you said "I noticed my kids playing outside and talking with their friends and a lot of the conversations revolved around the movies they watched or video games they played."

I say maybe you should have been glad they were playing outside to begin with. What you've done feels like more of a preemptive punishment and lazy parenting than something beneficial for your children in the long term.

But do what you like, it's a free country after all, I'd just hate to see you resent having made an over zealous choice when your kids decide to start sneaking TV and games at their friend's houses.

You see you've set up a scenario in which they will find a way to get their fix, and without you having been a responsible guiding voice for them they will eventually find media that you would normally surely have protested, but since they will be doing it beyond your purview you will have no idea the kinds of things that they will find. They themselves may not even realize what they are watching is bad since you were neglect in your duty to more patiently manage their consumption when you could.

For all applauding this, step of the crazy bus for a minute and think about all of the possible ways of dealing with it before going the "zero exposure" route.

If you've mishandled something this "relatively harmless", how are you going to handle their teenage years and relationships with the opposite sex etc, will you bolt the doors and force them to never be out of your site?

Be careful not to build to many of these types of "zero exposure" barriers, or you could see really negative ramifications in the future.

To have done this type of thing without having a discussion about it with them, your thoughts on it, or that it may even be a self-meditated option, you robbed yourself and your children an important path to conversation about why you feel they needed less exposure to begin with. Instead you used an excessive heavy hand, and that is shameful .



[EDIT] edited for spelling


[edit on 13-6-2009 by sinesolis]

[EDIT] edited for spelling

[edit on 13-6-2009 by sinesolis]

Originally posted by SonicInfinity

Originally posted by AccessDenied
I didn't start this thread to debate whether Iam a good parent or not

Originally posted by AccessDenied
Wow- You quote another member? Great debate.

You can't say "great debate" when you're not participating the debate to begin with. ¬_¬

[edit on 6/13/2009 by SonicInfinity]
OK..READ AGAIN what I said.

And quite frankly, I didn't start this thread to debate whether Iam a good parent or not, or to debate the topic of homeschooling- there are other threads on that subject here, and you are welcome to read my posted contributions there, not here.
If you wish to debate the topic of the affects of kids watching tv, movies and playing video games, then so be it...let's go for it.
But keep the personal attacks out of the thread. You don't know me, or my children..don't pretend to. And I'm certainly not in anyway forcing my decision on other people.

[edit on 13-6-2009 by AccessDenied]

Originally posted by AccessDenied


Wow...
I truly don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks of my parenting, good or bad.
And quite frankly, I didn't start this thread to debate whether Iam a good parent or not, or to debate the topic of homeschooling- there are other threads on that subject here, and you are welcome to read my posted contributions there, not here.
If you wish to debate the topic of the affects of kids watching tv, movies and playing video games, then so be it...let's go for it.
But keep the personal attacks out of the thread. You don't know me, or my children..don't pretend to. And I'm certainly not in anyway forcing my decision on other people.

I said I hope that wasn't the reason you did it. Therefore, I haven't presumed that it was the reason. As you said, I don't know you well enough to presume any such thing and I wouldn't be so judgemental to decide that I do.

I do hope you didn't do all this and type about it here for the sake of what others think of you. I also hope you didn't do it because you are an evil witch who wants to make your kid's lives as miserable and without joy as possible. Or that you want to fatten your kids up to cook them (you would have kept the TV around if that were the case, anyway). Of course I would never think that was the case but it is still my hope none the less.

And now you have told me that the thought never entered your mind, I believe you.

Our definition of "radical" may differ so I would call your actions "drastic".

Looks like you got immediate positive results from your change of life.
Good job and many kudos to you.

I just hope some really radical liberal person out there doesn't call Child Protective Services on you.

Here is what Video Game consoles are capable of today!

I own a PlaStation3. This gaming console is AMAZING!
Sure it plays video games. BUT IT IS SO MUCH MORE!

It has a web browser! This is just like Firefox or whatever web browser you currently use to access the internet.

You can hook a keyboard up to the PlayStation 3.

You can Hook a Digital Camera or Camcorder up to the Internet.
Pictures of the family and friends. Pictures of Nature that your kid might have taken themselves. You can upload these images to your own storage space that is on the PlayStation 3's hard drive. Sort, Edit enhance.

You can Store and download music with the PlayStation 3. You said your kid has a IPOD? Want to encourage your children to have access to all different types of music? This bad boy does it! Chopin, Mozart, Ludwig Van, Janis Joplin, Elvis Presley, The Jonas Brothers can ALL have a place at the table!

Friends Lists. Your kids can keep in touch with friends and family members that live far away. Not much difference between a phone call and a video conference. Oh YES the PlayStation Triple DOES have video conferencing.

Why just Talk to Grandma in Florida when little Suzi Q can See Grandmas smile and Grandma can see those beautiful blue eyes! BOOP! Download complete. AWWW Grandma just got the email attachment of little Suzie Q's collection of Family Pictures that she took! This makes Grandma a veryy happy Grandma

Did you know that scientists have linked 16 PlayStation 3's together to create a Super Computer and are using it to study Black Holes?

www.universetoday.com...

Did you know that PlayStation 3 gamers can aid medical research?

www.post-gazette.com...

I feel like a salesman here. I am just trying to show you the Video game consoles of today are NOT the Mario Brothers of the 80's.

Originally posted by triplesod

Originally posted by AccessDenied


Wow...
I truly don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks of my parenting, good or bad.
And quite frankly, I didn't start this thread to debate whether Iam a good parent or not, or to debate the topic of homeschooling- there are other threads on that subject here, and you are welcome to read my posted contributions there, not here.
If you wish to debate the topic of the affects of kids watching tv, movies and playing video games, then so be it...let's go for it.
But keep the personal attacks out of the thread. You don't know me, or my children..don't pretend to. And I'm certainly not in anyway forcing my decision on other people.

I said I hope that wasn't the reason you did it. Therefore, I haven't presumed that it was the reason. As you said, I don't know you well enough to presume any such thing and I wouldn't be so judgemental to decide that I do.

I do hope you didn't do all this and type about it here for the sake of what others think of you. I also hope you didn't do it because you are an evil witch who wants to make your kid's lives as miserable and without joy as possible. Or that you want to fatten your kids up to cook them (you would have kept the TV around if that were the case, anyway

). Of course I would never think that was the case but it is still my hope none the less.

And now you have told me that the thought never entered your mind, I believe you.

THIS is how you debate a topic? When you have reduced yourself to name calling- argument lost.
I do not see how watching TV can improve the lives of my children...at all.
If you can show me proof of otherwise..then do so.

Originally posted by Alxandro


I just hope some really radical liberal person out there doesn't call Child Protective Services on you.

Oh so now, child protective services should be involved huh? Because I chose to take away an electronic babysitter and encourage my kids to use their brains?
Wow- the insults never end.

Originally posted by AccessDenied
reply to post by triplesod

 

Wow- You quote another member? Great debate.

Hmm. Another kop out from you, AD. You know very well that I had written up a long post to you about this previous to me quoting Steven. You know that because you replied to it and answered me.

In this post you have quoted, I quoted Steven myself to show living proof to back up my previous post and to show the experience which goes against your supposition.

So, it's a bit cheap of you to criticise me in such an underhanded manner. If you wanted to further the debate, you could have replied to Stephen but I see you have steered well clear of his post.

reply to post by triplesod


I see no point in debating parenting skills, with a 17 year old.
Plain and simple.
And the cop out is from the one who keeps pushing the posts of others, and not creating his own.
Now- if you wish to debate TV versus no TV..then do so.

reply to post by AccessDenied


It sounded like that poster was saying they hoped somebody *doesn't* call Child Services on you. This is a messed up world, and there are people who would probably do that.

reply to post by TurkeyBurgers


I went to multiple schools in the midwest, growing up in the 80's and 90's, and I never saw much of that, it seemed to me more a thing of the past that has been played up by media, movies, and tv.

In every school I attended there were Pentecostal, Mormon, Islamic etc kids with extreme limitations on what they were allowed to be exposed to.

They did NOT get picked on for this. Any moans and groans over a movie/book/music being deemed inappropriate on their behalf for classroom consumption were quickly met with shushes and dirty looks from fellow students.

The poor kids had wealthy friends who helped them out at every chance with clothes, toiletries, etc.

The mentally challenged kids sat with everyone else, and the ones that were somewhat segregated by the disruptive/disconnecting nature of their ailments still had plenty of friends, and even cheerleaders would take turns sitting at their tables.

The gay kids were considered "edgey" and inspired a lot of curiosity, about the worst they got were stereotypes like being asked for fashion tips, etc.

What got kids hated on, shunned, picked on? Being bullies. Being liars. Bragging and belittling.

Children have morals and empathy, and it seems like we force rat-race "the worse you are the better I am" mentality on them because we refuse to believe it could be any other way. They don't set the trends, they succumb to them, and you are just completely wrong. The challenge of every new generation has always been to absorb all of the good of previous generations, while trying to overcome and leave behind their shortcomings.

If ONE good thing can be said for the information age, it is that through desensitizing and overexposing children to the diverse nature of existance, they tend to be able to see through superficial things and find what is common and shared by all, while developing a true zeal for seeking out, celebrating, and nurturing the unique and special.

[edit on 13-6-2009 by maus80]